Disappointed with lack of diversity at a top school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree, people need to chill. I went to an Ivy and I think [BLAH BLAH BLAH] ... they really are not comparable to Andover and Exeter. The BIG THREE here have bright, good teachers. The faculty at Andover and Exeter are brilliant, truly gifted teachers .... This is just my honest, unbiased opinion of what I saw. .... Its like comparing Major League Baseball ... to a local minor league team that uses all local talent. They are not the same league ....
PS
The Daughters of the Confederacy reference is funny as heck. Whenever I see the parents of the students here, I cant help but think that this captures you all perfectly.

I don't think it's any coincidence that this poster uses "BIG THREE" just like the sock puppet posts at 11:35-12:00 yesterday that started this whole firestorm. Sounds like the same troll to me. Also suspicious is the poster's claim that she/he is familiar with the faculty of both Andover and Exeter from her/his time as a TA. Finally, that last sentence ("the parents of the students here") really doesn't sound like something an actual parent would say. My bet is that there's some relatively recent Andover grad from DC who's bored and trying to stir up trouble.

[Anonymous]

You cannot possibly compare a 9 -12 boarding school with a non-boarding school that offers more grade levels. Apples and oranges along with a whole different set of advantage and disadvantages. What you might gain in "smarts" is definitely lost in quality of life and a scary knowledge of adult issues that kids should not have experience with at that age.

Must also mention just how tired I am of hearing people crow about how private school issues are so black and white. There is only 1 (or 3 ) top schools......Andover and Exeter are the best..... From where I come, people who force this issue are trying to compensate for some insecurity. Those who are truly secure and happy with what they have, keep this to themselves.

If there truly is only one or a handful of the best options out there, don't you think the school would have franchised itself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree, people need to chill. I went to an Ivy and I think [BLAH BLAH BLAH] ... they really are not comparable to Andover and Exeter. The BIG THREE here have bright, good teachers. The faculty at Andover and Exeter are brilliant, truly gifted teachers .... This is just my honest, unbiased opinion of what I saw. .... Its like comparing Major League Baseball ... to a local minor league team that uses all local talent. They are not the same league ....
PS
The Daughters of the Confederacy reference is funny as heck. Whenever I see the parents of the students here, I cant help but think that this captures you all perfectly.

I don't think it's any coincidence that this poster uses "BIG THREE" just like the sock puppet posts at 11:35-12:00 yesterday that started this whole firestorm. Sounds like the same troll to me. Also suspicious is the poster's claim that she/he is familiar with the faculty of both Andover and Exeter from her/his time as a TA. Finally, that last sentence ("the parents of the students here") really doesn't sound like something an actual parent would say. My bet is that there's some relatively recent Andover grad from DC who's bored and trying to stir up trouble.

I agree that this is certainly the same poster, posing alternately as an Exeter grad, as the parent of Andover students, and as a former Harvard TA. Most likely some poor person who fetishizes boarding school and desperately wants to be part of what she perceives to be the most elite crowd in the world. Let's hope she finds another hobby.

[Anonymous]

My kids went to a Big Three and then Andover/Exeter for high school (I wont say which) so I tried to sit this conversation out but I have to say that there were some incredible advantages and opportunities that these schools provided. Also, no need to artificially shelter kids from adult experiences when they are going to be blasted with completely freedom on day 1 of college. Rather than hide from these issues, we need to confront them regardless of whether your child is at a boarding school or a day school.

But, I thought the original diversity issue one was a more interesting one. I often thought we could do more to diversify the Big Three in terms of students and faculty. I know it has been repeated several times already but one thing Andover/Exeter did well was provide an absolutely stellar education in a truly diverse atmosphere. I know the Big Three are local schools but we live in an area that is fairly diverse. The District is majority AA, there are significant Hispanic and Asian populations in Maryland and Northern VA., there is no excuse to be as non-diverse as we are. The OP yesterday made really nice, interesting historic arguments that I discussed with some faculty at the school today and they confirmed there is some truth to this. It is a nasty little secret but a true one that the popularity of independent schools increased because of desegregation. I was a little embarassed to learn for the first time that even DC had segregation. It was news to me. I know the reference to Daughters of the Confederacy is satire; the references to Andover and Exeter are now way overblown; and the boarding school argument is interesting but non sequiter, but the original issue that why we cant be as academically steallar AND as divese as Andover and Exeter remains an open question and one that I think is a black mark on our beloved Big Three as long as it remains like a "Daughters of the Confederacy Tea Party." There seemed to be enough people on both sides of this argument that the reference was one that had some truth--which is really scary and really

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids went to a Big Three and then Andover/Exeter for high school (I wont say which) so I tried to sit this conversation out but I have to say that there were some incredible advantages and opportunities that these schools provided. Also, no need to artificially shelter kids from adult experiences when they are going to be blasted with completely freedom on day 1 of college. Rather than hide from these issues, we need to confront them regardless of whether your child is at a boarding school or a day school.

But, I thought the original diversity issue one was a more interesting one. I often thought we could do more to diversify the Big Three in terms of students and faculty. I know it has been repeated several times already but one thing Andover/Exeter did well was provide an absolutely stellar education in a truly diverse atmosphere. I know the Big Three are local schools but we live in an area that is fairly diverse. The District is majority AA, there are significant Hispanic and Asian populations in Maryland and Northern VA., there is no excuse to be as non-diverse as we are. The OP yesterday made really nice, interesting historic arguments that I discussed with some faculty at the school today and they confirmed there is some truth to this. It is a nasty little secret but a true one that the popularity of independent schools increased because of desegregation. I was a little embarassed to learn for the first time that even DC had segregation. It was news to me. I know the reference to Daughters of the Confederacy is satire; the references to Andover and Exeter are now way overblown; and the boarding school argument is interesting but non sequiter, but the original issue that why we cant be as academically steallar AND as divese as Andover and Exeter remains an open question and one that I think is a black mark on our beloved Big Three as long as it remains like a "Daughters of the Confederacy Tea Party." There seemed to be enough people on both sides of this argument that the reference was one that had some truth--which is really scary and really

Will you go away? You're so clearly the BIG THREE poster again! Your writing style gives you away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:the original issue that why we cant be as academically steallar AND as divese as Andover and Exeter remains an open question and one that I think is a black mark on our beloved Big Three as long as it remains like a "Daughters of the Confederacy Tea Party." There seemed to be enough people on both sides of this argument that the reference was one that had some truth--which is really scary and really

New poster here, I actually this is a valid point even if this is being made by the troll. My 2 cents.

[Anonymous]

This is a truly incredible conversation. If it is some recent Andover or Exeter grad just trying to stir up trouble, she is making some good social commentary. Perhaps we shouldnt be so quick to dismiss? I dont know. Whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:the original issue that why we cant be as academically steallar AND as divese as Andover and Exeter remains an open question and one that I think is a black mark on our beloved Big Three as long as it remains like a "Daughters of the Confederacy Tea Party." There seemed to be enough people on both sides of this argument that the reference was one that had some truth--which is really scary and really

New poster here, I actually this is a valid point even if this is being made by the troll. My 2 cents.

I agree it is the "BIG THREE" troll trying again. And his/her claim about diversity was refuted yesterday: Per www.BoardingSchoolReview.com, Exeter is 20% minority enrollment, and Andover is at 37%. Not very different from most of the local private schools.

[Anonymous]

Maybe its that lady yesterday who referred to the minority family at her school as "horses"

[Anonymous]

Gee, I feel so left out. It appears that the majority of posters here have attended Andover or Exeter.

Pul-ease, hon. Give it a rest and find a new hobby. You're not fooling anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a truly incredible conversation. If it is some recent Andover or Exeter grad just trying to stir up trouble, she is making some good social commentary. Perhaps we shouldnt be so quick to dismiss? I dont know. Whatever.

I am a non exeter or andover grad but know several boarding school kids and most were screwed up in some way or another - emotionally detached - something weird there. Most were not close with their parents by my standards. Very formal relationships there. Clearly not ready to be ditched into the big world. I don't care how good the school is, I would never ditch my poor kid at 14 or 15 to go to some school. There is another school - called parenting that equates for much of who a person ends up being. You can attend all the best schools but still end up messed up - that goes for local privates too. There has to be some real and true parenting involved and not just attending the cocktail parties etc... True parenting and involvement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a truly incredible conversation. If it is some recent Andover or Exeter grad just trying to stir up trouble, she is making some good social commentary. Perhaps we shouldnt be so quick to dismiss? I dont know. Whatever.

I am a non exeter or andover grad but know several boarding school kids and most were screwed up in some way or another - emotionally detached - something weird there. Most were not close with their parents by my standards. Very formal relationships there. Clearly not ready to be ditched into the big world. I don't care how good the school is, I would never ditch my poor kid at 14 or 15 to go to some school. There is another school - called parenting that equates for much of who a person ends up being. You can attend all the best schools but still end up messed up - that goes for local privates too. There has to be some real and true parenting involved and not just attending the cocktail parties etc... True parenting and involvement.

Absolutely. And no matter how much I value education, and I do value education highly, it is far more important to me that my child have a well rounded educational EXPERIENCE. The ability to value people over things, integrity over grades and not get caught up in the smoke and mirrors that seem to surround people who choose the "right" schools for the wrong reasons.

These things can not be taught by a resident advisor. IMO these intensely competitive scenarios, be that the Andovers or the Washington "big 3" create people who are conditioned to compete and probably win at the rat race. And remember that Lily Tomlin quote -- even if you win at the rat race, you are still a rat. Not where I want to see my kid.

And back to the actual topic at hand-- OP if I were you, I would ask the administrators "WTF??? Why is there so little diversity at this school?" It might lead to an interesting conversation and a plan to attract and support acceptance of a more diverse student body.

[Anonymous]

So much talk about 'diversity' - Not even sure what that means anymore. I went to top-rated schools, schools that had admissions policies which tried to create 'diverse' learning environments.

The upshot of all of that effort was that in the classroom, we all would sit and listen to the teacher. The kid sitting next to you didn't have any influence on your learning. At lunchtimes and in the playgrounds when we were younger - the kids would self-segregate and as we were older it became more and more separate.

We did have friends of different ethnicities, cultures, backgrounds - but for the most part we played and hung out with kids who lived in our neigborhood. The schools didn't do much, if anything, to create a truly integrated situation... not sure they can anyway... and wonder what these exercises actually accomplish...

[Anonymous]

OP, the culture in place at your school is guided by the values, attitudes and preferences of the majority (parents). The admin can only do so much in wearing their agent of change hats. Private schools are a business, foremost. I highly doubt that the majority of families at your school feel any discomfort with the minimal level of diversity that exists in their child's classroom or in their neighborhoods for that matter.

If the high teas, house tours, cocktail parties, etc., turn you off, spearhead a meaningful community service project. I'm sure there are other like-minded parents at your school.

[Anonymous]

With due respct, private schools are not a "business." They are non-profits that receive huge tax breaks because of this charitable status they claim. As a result they have a legal and moral obligation to actually implement the diversity policies that they all brag about on their web sites and to the IRS. And the only reason that a "majority" of families dont care too much about this issue at these schools is because the majority are insular white families that could give two hoots about diversity. Im glad we are back on the original OP issue because now the really insulting, racist feelings get posted. As a minority parent, I intend to keep fighting for this issue. All that Andover-Exeter debate that had happened previously was totally off point, this issue is very ON point. But, why the heck is everyone so defensive about some troll saying that she liked her boarding school. Im sure she did. Im sure that there are plenty of folks who liked the Big Three, and plenty also who did not. I am really stunned how so many of you eally dont care that the schools are so not diverse. Minority parents always had a sneaking concern that all the talk of diversity was just "lip service," now now I am certain that this is true. Worst nightmares realized!