Angel Tree gift question -- what is going on with the gifts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I stopped doing angel tree because the gifts were too expensive. They wanted things that I didn’t even buy my children. My church now doing boxes for children in different countries!

THIS.

Hopefully not those creepy shoeboxes. They make the kids go to a weird evangelical church service to get the gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know how people sometimes come across something and say "This restores my faith in humanity"? Well this thread did the opposite.

You PPs who clearly want to keep poor children in some kind of a place by begrudging them nice gifts -- that you didn't have to volunteer to buy -- are not good people.

You have to buy people unnecessary overpriced toys to be considered a good person? You have a strange definition of good. Did nobody buy you an iPad last year?

Your reading comprehension is pretty poor. No...you don't "have to buy people unnecessary overpriced toys to be considered a good person." But you do have to avoid judging what poor children ask for for Christmas, especially with the contempt I see here. It's disgusting.

So stop judging people for the ways in which they can help. If they can't afford to spend $500 to fulfill a wish, then they shouldn't be judged for that. It's gross to be calling people names and shitting on them when they are trying to help.

DP: No one is doing that. Some of us — me included— are judging people who are judging children for responding truthfully when asked what they want for Christmas.

Some of us — me included— are also judging people who don’t seem to be genuinely trying to help. If you want to ship cheap clothing overseas to kids, that’s great. Such generosity really doesn’t need to be accompanied by posts in threads like this about what some kids in the US might wish for. It’s easy enough to pick kids with less expensive wishes, or donate to Toys for Tots, or purchase coats from the Macy’s sale for a day care or school program.

How does this thinking address the OPs question. Why was this wanted gift activated so many months later?

I can think of multiple reasons— including initially using the wanted gift for things that didn’t require activation. It’s been pointed out that resources available through many public libraries are available using kindle and other tablets.

Another is not having access to Wi-Fi initially — but arranging to get access several months later.

Or... it was sold and never used by the intended recipient. Why not just go for the most obvious explanation instead of twisting yourself in a pretzel to come up with convoluted explanations?

The question was from 2017. I think Wi-Fi has become much more widely available since then. The kid might just not have realized that a kindle without high speed internet is a paperweight. Once you realize, you regift or sell it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are people complaining about this, though?

Is it important to let the beggars know they are being too presumptuous, or what? Why not just pass the tree on by without commenting?

This question is asked by and being answered by potential donors, not recipients. Who is letting the beggars know any of this?

A lot of people read a lot of things, and policing others' behavior seems a hell of a lot more important to you than just going on with your day.

Just about everyone has access to the internet. Also, talking about behavior is a way of entrenching that judgment. We can enforce this amongst ourselves, and they will learn not to be uppity.

Just to be clear, I'm DCUM middle class. I just think so much of this thread is pretty gross.

Well, this thread is six years old. So you can stop your attention-seeking white knighting now. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not everyone has Amazon.

Then why would they want a Kindle?

I use mine to read library books thru apps available on Kindle.

How do you download apps without going thru Amazon?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We don't do Angel Tree anymore. The gift requests have become ridiculous, and frankly, entitled. We donate and give to Toys for Tots. I'm not interested in buying an iPad for a 12 year old.

+1

[Anonymous]

A $300 iPad is kind of a miracle device if it's the only one you have.

[Anonymous]

I'm a simple person. If it's good for my kid, it's good for some other kid who wants it too.

[Anonymous]

This year, my family chose three angels from the tree that match my children's ages. The kids requested:

1. New underwear and socks for the six-year-old
2. A winter coat for the 10-year-old
3. New winter gloves for the 10-year-old
4. A balance bike for a four-year-old
5. A bike helmet for the four-year-old
6. A set of Bluetooth headphones for the 10-year-old
7. Play-doh for the four-year-old
8. A pair of tap shoes for the six-year-old
9. New pajamas for the 10-year-old
10. An ASL finger alphabet puzzle for the four-year-old
11. Three board games for the six-year-old
12. A velvet dress for the six-year-old

We also bought each child a bag with their first initial (the only identifying information that we have) embroidered on it.

The gifts these children requested were all easy to find (other than the puzzle, which we had to order from Etsy). The ten-year-old requested a lot of "needs" rather than "wants," but we were happy to buy whatever she requested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know how people sometimes come across something and say "This restores my faith in humanity"? Well this thread did the opposite.

You PPs who clearly want to keep poor children in some kind of a place by begrudging them nice gifts -- that you didn't have to volunteer to buy -- are not good people.

You have to buy people unnecessary overpriced toys to be considered a good person? You have a strange definition of good. Did nobody buy you an iPad last year?

+100
I really do believe that some of the Angel Tree requests are legit in that the person asking really is in need and then there are plenty of requests that are taking advantage of others. I choose to give in other ways where I am more confident of where my donations are being used.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I stopped doing angel tree because the gifts were too expensive. They wanted things that I didn’t even buy my children. My church now doing boxes for children in different countries!

THIS.

Hopefully not those creepy shoeboxes. They make the kids go to a weird evangelical church service to get the gift.

Not true. It's a wonderful way that some Christians share with those in need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This year, my family chose three angels from the tree that match my children's ages. The kids requested:

1. New underwear and socks for the six-year-old
2. A winter coat for the 10-year-old
3. New winter gloves for the 10-year-old
4. A balance bike for a four-year-old
5. A bike helmet for the four-year-old
6. A set of Bluetooth headphones for the 10-year-old
7. Play-doh for the four-year-old
8. A pair of tap shoes for the six-year-old
9. New pajamas for the 10-year-old
10. An ASL finger alphabet puzzle for the four-year-old
11. Three board games for the six-year-old
12. A velvet dress for the six-year-old

We also bought each child a bag with their first initial (the only identifying information that we have) embroidered on it.

The gifts these children requested were all easy to find (other than the puzzle, which we had to order from Etsy). The ten-year-old requested a lot of "needs" rather than "wants," but we were happy to buy whatever she requested.

+1 Thank you!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a simple person. If it's good for my kid, it's good for some other kid who wants it too.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I stopped doing angel tree because the gifts were too expensive. They wanted things that I didn’t even buy my children. My church now doing boxes for children in different countries!

THIS.

Hopefully not those creepy shoeboxes. They make the kids go to a weird evangelical church service to get the gift.

+1

So creepy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know how people sometimes come across something and say "This restores my faith in humanity"? Well this thread did the opposite.

You PPs who clearly want to keep poor children in some kind of a place by begrudging them nice gifts -- that you didn't have to volunteer to buy -- are not good people.

You have to buy people unnecessary overpriced toys to be considered a good person? You have a strange definition of good. Did nobody buy you an iPad last year?

Your reading comprehension is pretty poor. No...you don't "have to buy people unnecessary overpriced toys to be considered a good person." But you do have to avoid judging what poor children ask for for Christmas, especially with the contempt I see here. It's disgusting.

So stop judging people for the ways in which they can help. If they can't afford to spend $500 to fulfill a wish, then they shouldn't be judged for that. It's gross to be calling people names and shitting on them when they are trying to help.

DP: No one is doing that. Some of us — me included— are judging people who are judging children for responding truthfully when asked what they want for Christmas.

Some of us — me included— are also judging people who don’t seem to be genuinely trying to help. If you want to ship cheap clothing overseas to kids, that’s great. Such generosity really doesn’t need to be accompanied by posts in threads like this about what some kids in the US might wish for. It’s easy enough to pick kids with less expensive wishes, or donate to Toys for Tots, or purchase coats from the Macy’s sale for a day care or school program.

How does this thinking address the OPs question. Why was this wanted gift activated so many months later?

I can think of multiple reasons— including initially using the wanted gift for things that didn’t require activation. It’s been pointed out that resources available through many public libraries are available using kindle and other tablets.

Another is not having access to Wi-Fi initially — but arranging to get access several months later.

Or... it was sold and never used by the intended recipient. Why not just go for the most obvious explanation instead of twisting yourself in a pretzel to come up with convoluted explanations?

My explanation is obvious to me. No pretzel twisting needed. I just don’t agree with you — and for good reason. Wishing you all the joys of the holiday season.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, why is it our place to judge what these kids want? I saw plenty of angel tree tags for things like art supplies, play kitchen toys, and board books alongside things like xbox headphones, gift cards, and drones. For older kids - presumably they see the things that other kids their age are getting and they want them, too. I don't fault them for that! It's a Christmas WISH. I bought the Xbox headphones and I deal with policing my own kids' wish lists.

This is exactly how I feel. And I am not a fan of the "EVEN my kids don't have those things" sentiment. I get that you (general) are saying that you wouldn't buy that stuff for your kids, but it sounds like somehow, these poor kids are less deserving of a luxury charity gift. Like they should know their place and ask for a Jacob's ladder when all the kids around them have the cool stuff Further, I might buy a wish list item for a kid that I wouldn't buy for my own kid because charity and generosity for others is the spirit of the season and I want to model delayed gratification and kindness to my kid.

But really, I imagine many of your kids are just like mine: they have small wish lists with smaller things because they ALREADY have the big stuff or grandparents/allowances/savings let them acquire that stuff.

If you can't afford it spiritually (or monetarily), then just don't pick a tag and be quiet about it. All your grousing makes you (general) seem like a grinchy and mean spirited. And a little elitist.

Agreed. It comes across as trying to help in a "look-at-me-helping" kind of way but still wanting the "poors" to know their place-- beneath the giver and their children.

No, I take it as “I’m not spending more money on someone else’s child than my own.” I think very few people would have a bigger budget for kids they don’t know than their own kids. If I can’t buy my own children and Xbox I’m certainly not blowing the bank on someone else’s kid.