Angel Tree gift question -- what is going on with the gifts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We don't do Angel Tree anymore. The gift requests have become ridiculous, and frankly, entitled. We donate and give to Toys for Tots. I'm not interested in buying an iPad for a 12 year old.

Part of the problem is the way it’s set up.

Usually a volunteer talks to the kid and asks them what they want most. Kids generally don’t have an idea of what’s in the acceptable range so they end up asking for too little or too much.

I read a really sad story about a mom who signed up for one of those programs. The volunteer talked to her son and encouraged him to ask for whatever he wanted. He didn’t have any idea what to say so he asked for the same 2 games that his friends were talking about getting for Christmas. Obviously the games are expensive and way outside the standard angel tree budget. He ended up getting the games but couldn’t use them because his family didn’t have a PlayStation or Xbox or whatever the console was. To add insult to injury, the donor included a snarky note that if this is was their standard Christmas present budget they probably shouldn’t use angel tree and the donor didn’t even give her own kids such expensive presents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Don't be dumb. Nobody has said that this is all that is on Angel Tree requests. It is on some requests, yes, but what people have objected to about you are your gross assumptions and mischaracterizations about some requests. You can't back those up, yet you feel quite comfortable being a dick about it.

That's the claim -- that you are being a dick. The evidence are your posts. Got it?

Being a dick about the fact that most people aren't going to buy those gifts? It is what it is. People can't afford to do that so they won't. You telling them they are big meanie meanies does squat.

[Anonymous]

I don’t get why people are so upset over the ask. If it’s out of your price range select another child or don’t participate. The kids asking for iPads and bicycles are usually tweens and teens and this is the same kind of thing your own children may ask for. It’s always easy for toy drives to get items for babies and young children because the toys and clothing are not expensive compared to what older kids ask for and people are more likely to sympathize with young children. If an iPad can help them in school or keep them busy and out of trouble I think it’s a reasonable ask.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are people complaining about this, though?

Is it important to let the beggars know they are being too presumptuous, or what? Why not just pass the tree on by without commenting?

This question is asked by and being answered by potential donors, not recipients. Who is letting the beggars know any of this?

A lot of people read a lot of things, and policing others' behavior seems a hell of a lot more important to you than just going on with your day.

Just about everyone has access to the internet. Also, talking about behavior is a way of entrenching that judgment. We can enforce this amongst ourselves, and they will learn not to be uppity.

Just to be clear, I'm DCUM middle class. I just think so much of this thread is pretty gross.

Well, this thread is six years old. So you can stop your attention-seeking white knighting now. Thanks.

You know, I think I'll call you out all and whenever I want to. Thanks.

You’ll “call us out?” Sweetheart, you *vastly* overestimate your own importance.

[Anonymous]

I am a teacher of many of the angel tree kids. What the prior poster said is true. The social worker or charity volunteer asks them what they want and records it. These kids are 6,7,8 years old. They have no concept of "reasonable"--half of them still fully believe in Santa and it's phrased that way--"What would you like Santa to bring?" Of course they say an ipad vs. socks.

If you aren't interested in doing it, don't--but don't blame the kids for being greedy/ungrateful. They are surrounded by consumerism and want the same things all kids want.

The social worker at my school works with parents (doesn't even talk to the kids about the charity drive) so the gifts are far more practical--the list sent to staff interested in donating contained only clothing and household essentials like a vacuum or toilet paper (!!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people are mistaking the Angel Tree with everyday charity. The needs are supposed to be taken care of from the stuff we do year round with regular donations and service work. The angel tree is not for needs, it for wishes and dreams of chilren.

Their parents should be savvy enough to know that you may end up with nothing if you aim too high. Do you really think kids are being showered with Apple products from Angel Trees every year? Some of you are hopelessly naive.

DP. This would seem to be a self-correcting problem if you are right. They don't need your help in figuring it out.

There's always going to be a new family to test the theory. I guess you don't care if kids sit home crying because they got nothing for Xmas. But then according to you weirdos they already have so much their parents will just get something from their birthday stash to spread out the gifts more evenly over the year. What is the point of the Angel Tree again?

No, I just think you verbally salivating over how uppity the poors are getting is just disgusting. That's all I am talking about. You and your problems.

Nobody is doing that. You're a hammer looking for a nail.

The nail is your attitude, and sure, I'll be the hammer for that.

Such a hero!

Please do get over yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get why people are so upset over the ask. If it’s out of your price range select another child or don’t participate. The kids asking for iPads and bicycles are usually tweens and teens and this is the same kind of thing your own children may ask for. It’s always easy for toy drives to get items for babies and young children because the toys and clothing are not expensive compared to what older kids ask for and people are more likely to sympathize with young children. If an iPad can help them in school or keep them busy and out of trouble I think it’s a reasonable ask.

Angel Tree is specifically for kids 0-12, so no, I don't think a bunch of teens are asking for iPhones. The vast majority of asks are normal toys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people are mistaking the Angel Tree with everyday charity. The needs are supposed to be taken care of from the stuff we do year round with regular donations and service work. The angel tree is not for needs, it for wishes and dreams of chilren.

Their parents should be savvy enough to know that you may end up with nothing if you aim too high. Do you really think kids are being showered with Apple products from Angel Trees every year? Some of you are hopelessly naive.

DP. This would seem to be a self-correcting problem if you are right. They don't need your help in figuring it out.

There's always going to be a new family to test the theory. I guess you don't care if kids sit home crying because they got nothing for Xmas. But then according to you weirdos they already have so much their parents will just get something from their birthday stash to spread out the gifts more evenly over the year. What is the point of the Angel Tree again?

No, I just think you verbally salivating over how uppity the poors are getting is just disgusting. That's all I am talking about. You and your problems.

Nobody is doing that. You're a hammer looking for a nail.

The nail is your attitude, and sure, I'll be the hammer for that.

Such a hero!

Please do get over yourself.

Tell us again what you actually do to help instead of shouting platitudes here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't do Angel Tree anymore. The gift requests have become ridiculous, and frankly, entitled. We donate and give to Toys for Tots. I'm not interested in buying an iPad for a 12 year old.

Part of the problem is the way it’s set up.

Usually a volunteer talks to the kid and asks them what they want most. Kids generally don’t have an idea of what’s in the acceptable range so they end up asking for too little or too much.

I read a really sad story about a mom who signed up for one of those programs. The volunteer talked to her son and encouraged him to ask for whatever he wanted. He didn’t have any idea what to say so he asked for the same 2 games that his friends were talking about getting for Christmas. Obviously the games are expensive and way outside the standard angel tree budget. He ended up getting the games but couldn’t use them because his family didn’t have a PlayStation or Xbox or whatever the console was. To add insult to injury, the donor included a snarky note that if this is was their standard Christmas present budget they probably shouldn’t use angel tree and the donor didn’t even give her own kids such expensive presents.

Hey, I think I know her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Don't be dumb. Nobody has said that this is all that is on Angel Tree requests. It is on some requests, yes, but what people have objected to about you are your gross assumptions and mischaracterizations about some requests. You can't back those up, yet you feel quite comfortable being a dick about it.

That's the claim -- that you are being a dick. The evidence are your posts. Got it?

Being a dick about the fact that most people aren't going to buy those gifts? It is what it is. People can't afford to do that so they won't. You telling them they are big meanie meanies does squat.

Speculating about the lives of children and the motives of other parents goes way beyond pointing that out, and you know it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are people complaining about this, though?

Is it important to let the beggars know they are being too presumptuous, or what? Why not just pass the tree on by without commenting?

This question is asked by and being answered by potential donors, not recipients. Who is letting the beggars know any of this?

A lot of people read a lot of things, and policing others' behavior seems a hell of a lot more important to you than just going on with your day.

Just about everyone has access to the internet. Also, talking about behavior is a way of entrenching that judgment. We can enforce this amongst ourselves, and they will learn not to be uppity.

Just to be clear, I'm DCUM middle class. I just think so much of this thread is pretty gross.

Well, this thread is six years old. So you can stop your attention-seeking white knighting now. Thanks.

You know, I think I'll call you out all and whenever I want to. Thanks.

You’ll “call us out?” Sweetheart, you *vastly* overestimate your own importance.

Try not showing your ugly side.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people are mistaking the Angel Tree with everyday charity. The needs are supposed to be taken care of from the stuff we do year round with regular donations and service work. The angel tree is not for needs, it for wishes and dreams of chilren.

Their parents should be savvy enough to know that you may end up with nothing if you aim too high. Do you really think kids are being showered with Apple products from Angel Trees every year? Some of you are hopelessly naive.

DP. This would seem to be a self-correcting problem if you are right. They don't need your help in figuring it out.

There's always going to be a new family to test the theory. I guess you don't care if kids sit home crying because they got nothing for Xmas. But then according to you weirdos they already have so much their parents will just get something from their birthday stash to spread out the gifts more evenly over the year. What is the point of the Angel Tree again?

No, I just think you verbally salivating over how uppity the poors are getting is just disgusting. That's all I am talking about. You and your problems.

Nobody is doing that. You're a hammer looking for a nail.

The nail is your attitude, and sure, I'll be the hammer for that.

Such a hero!

Please do get over yourself.

Tell us again what you actually do to help instead of shouting platitudes here.

Are you referring to the person who posted, or still asking if I donate to Angel Trees?

I'm a doc who works with a population that has 30% of homes lacking in electricity, running water, or both. I did home visits during COVID. I pay anonymously for parents' funerals. I also do Angel Tree gifts, but that's a small part of what I do.

What about you? You like to feel superior about those Angel Tree donations once a year, hmm?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Don't be dumb. Nobody has said that this is all that is on Angel Tree requests. It is on some requests, yes, but what people have objected to about you are your gross assumptions and mischaracterizations about some requests. You can't back those up, yet you feel quite comfortable being a dick about it.

That's the claim -- that you are being a dick. The evidence are your posts. Got it?

Being a dick about the fact that most people aren't going to buy those gifts? It is what it is. People can't afford to do that so they won't. You telling them they are big meanie meanies does squat.

Speculating about the lives of children and the motives of other parents goes way beyond pointing that out, and you know it.

What are you even talking about? If the donors can't afford the wish they will skip it and sponsor someone else. How many people do you think can drop hundreds on this program? Even the program rules don't expect donors to buy gifts that cost hundreds of dollars.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get why people are so upset over the ask. If it’s out of your price range select another child or don’t participate. The kids asking for iPads and bicycles are usually tweens and teens and this is the same kind of thing your own children may ask for. It’s always easy for toy drives to get items for babies and young children because the toys and clothing are not expensive compared to what older kids ask for and people are more likely to sympathize with young children. If an iPad can help them in school or keep them busy and out of trouble I think it’s a reasonable ask.

Angel Tree is specifically for kids 0-12, so no, I don't think a bunch of teens are asking for iPhones. The vast majority of asks are normal toys.

Uh, no. There are many different groups running angel trees, including Salvation Army and many others. Most include teens 17 and under. Some include senior citizens.

And yes, if you don’t get there the first week or so, after which all the reasonable (yes, reasonable) requests are already taken, you’re hard pressed to find one that isn’t for something ridiculous like $200+ designer sneakers, the newest iPhone, $500 PS5 console, etc.

The adults in charge are to blame, as well as the parents who don’t guide their kids to ask for something that they want which is reasonable (yes, reasonable) to expect a stranger to buy for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are people complaining about this, though?

Is it important to let the beggars know they are being too presumptuous, or what? Why not just pass the tree on by without commenting?

This question is asked by and being answered by potential donors, not recipients. Who is letting the beggars know any of this?

A lot of people read a lot of things, and policing others' behavior seems a hell of a lot more important to you than just going on with your day.

Just about everyone has access to the internet. Also, talking about behavior is a way of entrenching that judgment. We can enforce this amongst ourselves, and they will learn not to be uppity.

Just to be clear, I'm DCUM middle class. I just think so much of this thread is pretty gross.

Well, this thread is six years old. So you can stop your attention-seeking white knighting now. Thanks.

You know, I think I'll call you out all and whenever I want to. Thanks.

You’ll “call us out?” Sweetheart, you *vastly* overestimate your own importance.

Try not showing your ugly side.

Right back at you. Your smug arrogance is laughable.