Angel Tree gift question -- what is going on with the gifts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never doing an angel tree again, when our company delivered the gifts, the people were already living pretty large.

What does this even mean?

[Anonymous]

I stopped doing angel tree because the gifts were too expensive. They wanted things that I didn’t even buy my children. My church now doing boxes for children in different countries!

[Anonymous]

Np, thanks for starting this thread, op. I am doing Angel Tree again this year but in a different city (Alexandria). When I previously did it in Woodbridge, I could mail the gifts directly to the recipient with no deadline. In Alexandria, however, I have to drop it off at the center, they disburse it to the recipient, and the deadline to return it is 12/5. I like the Woodbridge method better.

Also, I was only given a general list of items to purchase (e.g., toys, clothes, shoes) but nothing specific, which I would have preferred. Even a color preference would have been helpful. I purchased everything in pink for the girl, not knowing what she would like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gift requests are getting expensive!
The problem I see sometime is that these families have better cell phone and plans than me!

They do. I'm amazed at my students' phones at my Title One school. By middle school all of them have better phones than I do. I always buy books for the Angel Tree along with the toy. I don't buy electronics.

Books are a great idea! I may add a few to the gift bag I am delivering. Even though I have no idea what 6 year olds read these days...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, why is it our place to judge what these kids want? I saw plenty of angel tree tags for things like art supplies, play kitchen toys, and board books alongside things like xbox headphones, gift cards, and drones. For older kids - presumably they see the things that other kids their age are getting and they want them, too. I don't fault them for that! It's a Christmas WISH. I bought the Xbox headphones and I deal with policing my own kids' wish lists.

This is exactly how I feel. And I am not a fan of the "EVEN my kids don't have those things" sentiment. I get that you (general) are saying that you wouldn't buy that stuff for your kids, but it sounds like somehow, these poor kids are less deserving of a luxury charity gift. Like they should know their place and ask for a Jacob's ladder when all the kids around them have the cool stuff Further, I might buy a wish list item for a kid that I wouldn't buy for my own kid because charity and generosity for others is the spirit of the season and I want to model delayed gratification and kindness to my kid.

But really, I imagine many of your kids are just like mine: they have small wish lists with smaller things because they ALREADY have the big stuff or grandparents/allowances/savings let them acquire that stuff.

If you can't afford it spiritually (or monetarily), then just don't pick a tag and be quiet about it. All your grousing makes you (general) seem like a grinchy and mean spirited. And a little elitist.

Agreed. It comes across as trying to help in a "look-at-me-helping" kind of way but still wanting the "poors" to know their place-- beneath the giver and their children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, why is it our place to judge what these kids want? I saw plenty of angel tree tags for things like art supplies, play kitchen toys, and board books alongside things like xbox headphones, gift cards, and drones. For older kids - presumably they see the things that other kids their age are getting and they want them, too. I don't fault them for that! It's a Christmas WISH. I bought the Xbox headphones and I deal with policing my own kids' wish lists.

This is exactly how I feel. And I am not a fan of the "EVEN my kids don't have those things" sentiment. I get that you (general) are saying that you wouldn't buy that stuff for your kids, but it sounds like somehow, these poor kids are less deserving of a luxury charity gift. Like they should know their place and ask for a Jacob's ladder when all the kids around them have the cool stuff Further, I might buy a wish list item for a kid that I wouldn't buy for my own kid because charity and generosity for others is the spirit of the season and I want to model delayed gratification and kindness to my kid.

But really, I imagine many of your kids are just like mine: they have small wish lists with smaller things because they ALREADY have the big stuff or grandparents/allowances/savings let them acquire that stuff.

If you can't afford it spiritually (or monetarily), then just don't pick a tag and be quiet about it. All your grousing makes you (general) seem like a grinchy and mean spirited. And a little elitist.

Agreed. It comes across as trying to help in a "look-at-me-helping" kind of way but still wanting the "poors" to know their place-- beneath the giver and their children.

You could look at it that way, or you could be more rational and realize most people don't have $500 to blow on an iPad for a stranger's child. If the kids already have all of the smaller items and just need the iPad then maybe Angel tree type services aren't really necessary. Most people think they are helping people who would otherwise have nothing for Christmas. But it sounds like the recipients are doing pretty well they're just hoping for a massive windfall. I'm sure an animal shelter might be more appreciative of a donation in that case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gift requests are getting expensive!
The problem I see sometime is that these families have better cell phone and plans than me!

Yes, but they probably don’t have retirement accounts, access to great healthcare, vacations, safe homes in great school districts, etc. - many of which others do have.

[Anonymous]

This is what all kids want. There are plenty of places where they can get free or donated gloves and coats and hats and books. The government pays for their electricity and the water.

Their real requests are “to look and feel like I belong”. they go to school with our kids Who have had phones and iPads dince they were 8. These kids are expected by their schools to do research papers. They want to watch tik tok videos and gave an instagram account. A $250 iPad is a great gift. For a lot of them that is all that they would need - the phone/ipad would be their phone, communication device, tv, book, entertainment, educator, map, art pad, game system, dance teacher, etc.

[Anonymous]

All kids want iPad. And electronics.

I think before, they were asking for coats and dolls like our kids were. And i could buy them the cheaper coat and the cheaper doll, when my own kids would get the north face and the American girl doll. Prices of things have gone up and even the generic item are expensive.

[Anonymous]

I picked 2 kids this year thru an Angel tree. A 5yo and an 8yo. Neither wanted electronic devices.
Participate or Don’t, but save your judgement for other things. Maybe someone else bought them that iPhone. Or the expensive shoes.

[Anonymous]

To the PP commenting on the cell phones, how would you know what plan they have? A lot of them are pay as you go. And the phone may have been a gift. If the kids are home alone while parents work maybe they need a phone.
It is 2023, we all have phones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
This is what all kids want. There are plenty of places where they can get free or donated gloves and coats and hats and books. The government pays for their electricity and the water.

Their real requests are “to look and feel like I belong”. they go to school with our kids Who have had phones and iPads dince they were 8. These kids are expected by their schools to do research papers. They want to watch tik tok videos and gave an instagram account. A $250 iPad is a great gift. For a lot of them that is all that they would need - the phone/ipad would be their phone, communication device, tv, book, entertainment, educator, map, art pad, game system, dance teacher, etc.

iPads aren't the only thing on every kids list. My kids ask for any manner of things from clothes, beauty and skin care products, water bottles, Legos, gift cards, stuffed animals, books, etc. Any of these things help with a sense of belonging. and they would be more reasonably assured of getting these items. Sure, shoot for the moon, but also write down the other stuff.

[Anonymous]

Kids today are into electronics, which skew towards the pricey side. Banning electronics from Angle Tree lists wouldn’t be a bad idea, IMHO.

[Anonymous]

So they aren’t the right kind of poor? I don’t know why people question poverty. I contributed to an orphanage one year and the kids asked for bras and underwear. It was horrible. Is this the level of poverty you deem acceptable?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Last year, I gave two Kindle devices as presents for kids in my Angel Tree. Now, since I had purchased them, I received a notification when the Kindles were first activated -- not on Xmas morning mind you, but several months later. Like, the following October for one, and August for the other. Curious about what is going on -- do you think the parents (or other people?) are selling these gifts or something, rather than giving the devices to kids in need?

That is the most logical explanation here. It sounds like they were sold.