Why don't you want the family china?

[Anonymous]

You may have noticed that many people are less formal now. People live in small spaces and don't want things to store that they only use 1-2 times a year. I regret registering for china - I got married in 2006 and felt pressured to have it by (in-law) family members and "tradition." I use it 3x a year and have to make space for it the rest of the year. Unless my two sons marry women who care (and I assume in 20-25 years they won't), I fully expect mine to end up at Goodwill.

Thankfully my sisters are the sentimental kind who will take all the junk from my dad's mom and my mom. I have no need for cheap 40's era furniture or ugly china patterns. Sorry. I have actual memories of my grandmother; that is what I cherish. Stuff is just stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think for the most part it's that many people who would be of the income level to be passing down china picked out their own china as part of their wedding registry, if they wanted it. So, then when their parents are downsizing or die the don't need/want another set of formal china. Most people don't even use one set very often. If parents think their kids would want their china/grandma's china, then they should offer it at the time the kids are getting married.

I have my grandma's china and received it before I got married. Love it because it's a classic pattern -- very simple white with a silver border. Since I already had that, DH and I did not register for china.

Totally agree. It would be a lovely wedding gift in lieu of other crap you don't need. So many people are getting married later and they don't need 1000 household items since they have already established a household. Reduces material consumption and gifts you don't need/want anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is funny that you are posting about this because our conversation around the dinner table on Thanksgiving Day was about the china, crystal and silver. We talked about the heritage of the items and the stories we associate with them.

I read an article a few years ago in WaPo that said that people are turning away from the old stuff. For some reason our family is different. My sister and mother and I are in the midst of scouring E-bay, Replacements, estate sales and every other place we can think of to add to our sets so that as our families get bigger with weddings and babies and such that we can handle the population explosion. Our children are also asking about specific sets (Nana's china, Great-Grandma's china, PeePaw's crystal). So we are also working under the philosophy that we want sets of 12-14 of everything to pass along. It is a pretty tall order.

As we were setting up on Thursday, I asked the kids what they thought about using all of this "old fashioned" stuff. One of the teen boys said that it was "stunning" and the rest of the kids agreed. I think they were right. The table looked absolutely stunning with 100 year-old crystal and china and silver. And it pleased us all that we had such a wonderful connection with those relatives who have gone before us.

Anyway, we look at it as our effort at reuse and renew. I think my grandparents and great-grandparents would be thrilled! Sorry if I'm offering a different take than the title but I did want to chime in with the perspective of our family, which as per usual seems to be going against the current.

Well, our family was volunteering in a 3rd world country building houses for the needed while your monster family in your home drains the resources on this planet. But keep throwing away money on China and silver. And your use or “reuse and renew” makes me ill.

Puh-lease. While I don't want my 'family china', those who do certainly can claim the 're-use' medal. This PP is certainly not throwing her money away. Better to buy something old and re-use it than waste money on airfare on a 'poverty' trip and claim it was to help others. I can't imagine where your unskilled labor was better than what could be sourced locally. If you really wanted to 'help' you should have just donated the money you spent on airfare.

+1

There's a name for this - "voluntourism."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd love it - I have a 900 square foot house. Where shall I put a second set of dishes?

I have a 790 sf condo. My extra sets are in a china cabinet and in the coat closet.

[Anonymous]

I’ve inherited 3 different sets of china, and so has my sister. We both also have multiple sets of silver with monograms from 3 generations ago. Like a pp, my sister and I scour eBay to replace missing pieces. I still regret turning down my grandmother’s offer of her 24 place-setting antique china that instead got donated to. Museum—I’m not making that up—but I was in grad school at the time and couldn’t imagine where to store it.

Both my kids, a DD and a DS, appreciate the china and silver.

Why? Because breaking bread together is a ritual that’s common across humanity and comes with traditions in various cultures. Because we treat major holidays like rituals that deserve a little attention. Others think it’s ok to wear sweats to Thanksgiving dinner. YMMV.

[Anonymous]

My grandmother is giving me her china, silver and crystal. I can't wait to use it because I LOVE dishes, but I also would rather have her living, so I am good to wait on it.

She has offered it to me because she knows how much I will cherish the items. The pattern is unusual and it will always make me think of her and the tea parties she and I would have using it when I was a little girl. I hope I will have a daughter or granddaughter to do that with some day as well, because my son sadly is not interested in tea parties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd love it - I have a 900 square foot house. Where shall I put a second set of dishes?

I have a 790 sf condo. My extra sets are in a china cabinet and in the coat closet.

NP: I don't have a china cabinet OR a coat closet. I have a tiny shoebox of a studio apartment. I say no thank you to physical gifts at this point. Nowhere to put things.

[Anonymous]

Because I'm not a lady dowager.

That whole china wedding thing was picked up by the middle class in the mid-20th century. Hyancith Bucket. We must invite the major.

Seriously, you need to organize your whole house around it. The big dining room with the big dining room table and the big china cabinet to store all of that fine china.... you can put your children through college for the cost of storing and using fine china. And then you need the right friends who will smile knowingly when you serve them cornish game hen on it.

Honestly, there's no place to put it without having to lose my voice screaming at the kids over staying away from the china cabinet and turn my living room into a Greek wedding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because I'm not a lady dowager.

That whole china wedding thing was picked up by the middle class in the mid-20th century. Hyancith Bucket. We must invite the major.

Seriously, you need to organize your whole house around it. The big dining room with the big dining room table and the big china cabinet to store all of that fine china.... you can put your children through college for the cost of storing and using fine china. And then you need the right friends who will smile knowingly when you serve them cornish game hen on it.

Honestly, there's no place to put it without having to lose my voice screaming at the kids over staying away from the china cabinet and turn my living room into a Greek wedding.

OP this is really dramatic. We have 8 place settings and a buffet that holds lots of other things - serving pieces and glassware and a 12 piece set of regular dishes for when extended family comes and table cloths that we regularly use for entertaining. The dining room table we needed so we had a place to eat as a family in our old house. Literally about $4K all in for the china, buffet and table. I don't know what college you plan on sending YOUR kids to but. . .yeah, drama llama.

[Anonymous]

^^ Sorry - PP, not OP.

[Anonymous]

It's all going to land at Goodwill one day where a college student with a good sense of irony will buy a set for serving up take-out Chinese.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd love it - I have a 900 square foot house. Where shall I put a second set of dishes?

I have a 790 sf condo. My extra sets are in a china cabinet and in the coat closet.

09:46 here. I have more than 900sq but I don't have a china cabinet and I don't want to put it in the coat closet. That's something my mother would expect me to do - put it in the coat closet and then have no room for my hats, gloves, winter boots, etc. I have no interest in buying a china cabinet. I do have a sideboard/buffet but I use that to store table linens and other items. I could find a place to put all that china if I so choose but, as I stated in my post, that would leave no/little room for my things.

[Anonymous]

Just don’t. I won’t use it often and I don’t want to have to store it. We don’t have a china cabinet bc I hate clutter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No desire for it. It's really as basic as that. My family had 3 different sets of China I could have received. All are quite pretty, but not really my taste. We have a set of everyday dishes and a set of nice dishes. I have no desire for the work that goes into having silver and just have a couple of silver pieces that are easy to care for. I have some crystal. But I'm also not a big fan of having anything that I'd be upset about if it broke. I know, weird reasons, but it really doesn't extend past I have no desire for it.

What work goes into silver? Store it properly and it doesn’t even tarnish.

[Anonymous]

I do not want to use China. I do not want to store China.