Why don't you want the family china?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because I'm not a lady dowager.

That whole china wedding thing was picked up by the middle class in the mid-20th century. Hyancith Bucket. We must invite the major.

Seriously, you need to organize your whole house around it. The big dining room with the big dining room table and the big china cabinet to store all of that fine china.... you can put your children through college for the cost of storing and using fine china. And then you need the right friends who will smile knowingly when you serve them cornish game hen on it.

Honestly, there's no place to put it without having to lose my voice screaming at the kids over staying away from the china cabinet and turn my living room into a Greek wedding.

Maybe in 1972 you could have. Certainly not now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because I'm not a lady dowager.

That whole china wedding thing was picked up by the middle class in the mid-20th century. Hyancith Bucket. We must invite the major.

Seriously, you need to organize your whole house around it. The big dining room with the big dining room table and the big china cabinet to store all of that fine china.... you can put your children through college for the cost of storing and using fine china. And then you need the right friends who will smile knowingly when you serve them cornish game hen on it.

Honestly, there's no place to put it without having to lose my voice screaming at the kids over staying away from the china cabinet and turn my living room into a Greek wedding.

You don’t want china? Fine. Don’t make a big deal about it. Fine china has been around for generations, well before the 1950s. It was common in middle class 19th century households. Our oldest china dates to the 1870s, when it was my great great grandmothers wedding china. She was the daughter of a farmer who was marrying a small town store owner. Not fancy people. I like having it very much. But don’t be judgmental about my taste nor make ridiculous assumptions. A set of fine bone china at an antique shop can be had for less than a thousand. A basic set of sterling silver flatware can be had for a thousand off eBay or auctions. Of course they can be even more expensive but you see the point: you are not putting kids through college for the cost of china or silver. My mother somehow managed to raise three rambunctious kids without breaking her china although we did break some crystal over the years but neither our lives nor our house revolves around the china. The way you’ve put it you’re just a different kind of Hyacinth Bucket.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This comes up as an example in so many threads and I don't get it. I got my MIL's wedding china and I am beyond thrilled. It is a beautiful service in a classic, tasteful pattern. I use it for all the big holidays. I also got silver and some crystal. We have a sort of butler's pantry area in our kitchen with light-up glass front cabinets and I love to display the glasses. DH and I never did a wedding registry and my family is poor so nothing to hand down. Explain to me why you don't want it.

Because I don't live in a McMansion like you do, and have nowhere to store it. Are you really that clueless??

I live in a small DC rowhouse and have space to store my china, silver and crystal.

Good for you. Do you want a cookie?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This comes up as an example in so many threads and I don't get it. I got my MIL's wedding china and I am beyond thrilled. It is a beautiful service in a classic, tasteful pattern. I use it for all the big holidays. I also got silver and some crystal. We have a sort of butler's pantry area in our kitchen with light-up glass front cabinets and I love to display the glasses. DH and I never did a wedding registry and my family is poor so nothing to hand down. Explain to me why you don't want it.

Because I don't live in a McMansion like you do, and have nowhere to store it. Are you really that clueless??

I don't live in a Mcmansion. I live in a house built in the 70s and has the original footprint.

My point was that some people don't have the space. But good for you for bragging about your original 1970s house - why is that something to be proud of again?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mother has this sort of mentality. She keeps, and expects me and my brother to keep, all these 'family' things. For years, I did. Until, I realized that I had no room for the stuff I liked because I was keeping everyone else's stuff. I was on track to having a house just like my mothers - filled with stuff that had belonged to someone else, many of whom I never knew, but very little that reflected me or my tastes. My half sister (different mothers) gave me the courage to start getting rid of it. I took a picture of the item and sent it to relatives, giving them first right of refusal. If no one wanted it, I got rid of it.

My mother is appalled and would sometimes take what I'm ready to get rid of. She claims I'm getting rid of my kids' heritage. I think of it as allowing my kids the freedom to develop their own tastes and not be burdened by items belonging that hold no feeling/memories for them. I've kept a couple of larger pieces and still have a lot of small pieces - like the cowbell from the old family farm. We take it to all the games! Now THAT is a great family item! It not only has a nice story, we have our own memories of it.

Ah, my MIL is like this - lucky for us, SIL is going to get it all b/c she's the favorite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This comes up as an example in so many threads and I don't get it. I got my MIL's wedding china and I am beyond thrilled. It is a beautiful service in a classic, tasteful pattern. I use it for all the big holidays. I also got silver and some crystal. We have a sort of butler's pantry area in our kitchen with light-up glass front cabinets and I love to display the glasses. DH and I never did a wedding registry and my family is poor so nothing to hand down. Explain to me why you don't want it.

Because we did a registry. Because my family isn't poor. Because I don't want the china pattern my mom picked out 35 years ago. Because I want to select my own stuff. Anything else?

This, but I'll add my mom's china pattern is 60 years old! I use our wedding registry china maybe three times a year and also received Spode Christmas as wedding gifts. So I own two sets of china. Thrift stores practically give china sets away...market is saturated. Kind of wish I'd gone vintage instead of contributing to china surplus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because I'm not a lady dowager.

That whole china wedding thing was picked up by the middle class in the mid-20th century. Hyancith Bucket. We must invite the major.

Seriously, you need to organize your whole house around it. The big dining room with the big dining room table and the big china cabinet to store all of that fine china.... you can put your children through college for the cost of storing and using fine china. And then you need the right friends who will smile knowingly when you serve them cornish game hen on it.

Honestly, there's no place to put it without having to lose my voice screaming at the kids over staying away from the china cabinet and turn my living room into a Greek wedding.

Maybe in 1972 you could have. Certainly not now.

You need to buy the house with the huge dining room for the china cabinet and large dining table. In some cities, that larger house or extra room in an apartment will raise your purchase price another $50k-$100k. Depends on your priorities, if you want to pay extra for a real dining space. I'm sure a realtor would have a field day with this topic regarding what young buyers want and don't want. FWIW, I've seen people use that dining nook space for a baby crib. It's called you eat dinner at the kitchen island. No room for the Lenox set.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This comes up as an example in so many threads and I don't get it. I got my MIL's wedding china and I am beyond thrilled. It is a beautiful service in a classic, tasteful pattern. I use it for all the big holidays. I also got silver and some crystal. We have a sort of butler's pantry area in our kitchen with light-up glass front cabinets and I love to display the glasses. DH and I never did a wedding registry and my family is poor so nothing to hand down. Explain to me why you don't want it.

Because we did a registry. Because my family isn't poor. Because I don't want the china pattern my mom picked out 35 years ago. Because I want to select my own stuff. Anything else?

This, but I'll add my mom's china pattern is 60 years old! I use our wedding registry china maybe three times a year and also received Spode Christmas as wedding gifts. So I own two sets of china. Thrift stores practically give china sets away...market is saturated. Kind of wish I'd gone vintage instead of contributing to china surplus.

Some people are also put off by the idea of eating on a plate that may contain lead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because I'm not a lady dowager.

That whole china wedding thing was picked up by the middle class in the mid-20th century. Hyancith Bucket. We must invite the major.

Seriously, you need to organize your whole house around it. The big dining room with the big dining room table and the big china cabinet to store all of that fine china.... you can put your children through college for the cost of storing and using fine china. And then you need the right friends who will smile knowingly when you serve them cornish game hen on it.

Honestly, there's no place to put it without having to lose my voice screaming at the kids over staying away from the china cabinet and turn my living room into a Greek wedding.

Maybe in 1972 you could have. Certainly not now.

You need to buy the house with the huge dining room for the china cabinet and large dining table. In some cities, that larger house or extra room in an apartment will raise your purchase price another $50k-$100k. Depends on your priorities, if you want to pay extra for a real dining space. I'm sure a realtor would have a field day with this topic regarding what young buyers want and don't want. FWIW, I've seen people use that dining nook space for a baby crib. It's called you eat dinner at the kitchen island. No room for the Lenox set.

What is this ridiculous binary you’re arguing? My grandmother lived in a 1,000 square foot row house and still had her china and silver. She kept it in a small cabinet. The everyday china was in the upper part, the good china and silver was in the bottom.

I have china and silver and I don’t have a massive china cabinet. I also lived in a tiny NYC apartment when first married and we still had our china.

Trying to pretend you can only justify having china if you have a massive house is not only wrong but silly. If you don’t want china, that’s fine. But don’t be silly and make these ridiculous assumptions that only suggest you somehow have a big chip on your shoulders about other people having china.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This comes up as an example in so many threads and I don't get it. I got my MIL's wedding china and I am beyond thrilled. It is a beautiful service in a classic, tasteful pattern. I use it for all the big holidays. I also got silver and some crystal. We have a sort of butler's pantry area in our kitchen with light-up glass front cabinets and I love to display the glasses. DH and I never did a wedding registry and my family is poor so nothing to hand down. Explain to me why you don't want it.

Because we did a registry. Because my family isn't poor. Because I don't want the china pattern my mom picked out 35 years ago. Because I want to select my own stuff. Anything else?

This, but I'll add my mom's china pattern is 60 years old! I use our wedding registry china maybe three times a year and also received Spode Christmas as wedding gifts. So I own two sets of china. Thrift stores practically give china sets away...market is saturated. Kind of wish I'd gone vintage instead of contributing to china surplus.

Some people are also put off by the idea of eating on a plate that may contain lead.

Give them paper plates and tell them to STFU.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because I'm not a lady dowager.

That whole china wedding thing was picked up by the middle class in the mid-20th century. Hyancith Bucket. We must invite the major.

Seriously, you need to organize your whole house around it. The big dining room with the big dining room table and the big china cabinet to store all of that fine china.... you can put your children through college for the cost of storing and using fine china. And then you need the right friends who will smile knowingly when you serve them cornish game hen on it.

Honestly, there's no place to put it without having to lose my voice screaming at the kids over staying away from the china cabinet and turn my living room into a Greek wedding.

Maybe in 1972 you could have. Certainly not now.

You need to buy the house with the huge dining room for the china cabinet and large dining table. In some cities, that larger house or extra room in an apartment will raise your purchase price another $50k-$100k. Depends on your priorities, if you want to pay extra for a real dining space. I'm sure a realtor would have a field day with this topic regarding what young buyers want and don't want. FWIW, I've seen people use that dining nook space for a baby crib. It's called you eat dinner at the kitchen island. No room for the Lenox set.

What is this ridiculous binary you’re arguing? My grandmother lived in a 1,000 square foot row house and still had her china and silver. She kept it in a small cabinet. The everyday china was in the upper part, the good china and silver was in the bottom.

I have china and silver and I don’t have a massive china cabinet. I also lived in a tiny NYC apartment when first married and we still had our china.

Trying to pretend you can only justify having china if you have a massive house is not only wrong but silly. If you don’t want china, that’s fine. But don’t be silly and make these ridiculous assumptions that only suggest you somehow have a big chip on your shoulders about other people having china.

I think you are being overly literal. Obviously what PP meant is that china takes up space, and s'he prefers to use that space for something else.

[Anonymous]

I asked above but didn't get an answer - if PP's great grandfather escaped the Holocaust, why is the china she inherited from him more than 100 years old? He bought old china when he got to the US?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because I'm not a lady dowager.

That whole china wedding thing was picked up by the middle class in the mid-20th century. Hyancith Bucket. We must invite the major.

Seriously, you need to organize your whole house around it. The big dining room with the big dining room table and the big china cabinet to store all of that fine china.... you can put your children through college for the cost of storing and using fine china. And then you need the right friends who will smile knowingly when you serve them cornish game hen on it.

Honestly, there's no place to put it without having to lose my voice screaming at the kids over staying away from the china cabinet and turn my living room into a Greek wedding.

Maybe in 1972 you could have. Certainly not now.

You need to buy the house with the huge dining room for the china cabinet and large dining table. In some cities, that larger house or extra room in an apartment will raise your purchase price another $50k-$100k. Depends on your priorities, if you want to pay extra for a real dining space. I'm sure a realtor would have a field day with this topic regarding what young buyers want and don't want. FWIW, I've seen people use that dining nook space for a baby crib. It's called you eat dinner at the kitchen island. No room for the Lenox set.

What is this ridiculous binary you’re arguing? My grandmother lived in a 1,000 square foot row house and still had her china and silver. She kept it in a small cabinet. The everyday china was in the upper part, the good china and silver was in the bottom.

I have china and silver and I don’t have a massive china cabinet. I also lived in a tiny NYC apartment when first married and we still had our china.

Trying to pretend you can only justify having china if you have a massive house is not only wrong but silly. If you don’t want china, that’s fine. But don’t be silly and make these ridiculous assumptions that only suggest you somehow have a big chip on your shoulders about other people having china.

I think you are being overly literal. Obviously what PP meant is that china takes up space, and s'he prefers to use that space for something else.

Really? She was talking about needing a huge dining room and spending an extra 50 to 100k to have room for china. I’m pretty sure she was the same poster who made an allegation it’s comparable to the cost of paying college bills. It’s not overly literal to point out many people manage to have and use china in small settings and without being rich. She seemed quite judgmental.

[Anonymous]

If I’m going to go all out I feel like I’d need to put something on the plate worth more than the plate itself.

I mean, should you really serve baked ziti or pizza on a $30 plate? And what if you’re serving Christmas dinner on China and Uncle Marty belches like a sailor?

[Anonymous]

Too stuffy and yet another item I have to store 99% of the time.