Why don't you want the family china?

Anonymous
This comes up as an example in so many threads and I don't get it. I got my MIL's wedding china and I am beyond thrilled. It is a beautiful service in a classic, tasteful pattern. I use it for all the big holidays. I also got silver and some crystal. We have a sort of butler's pantry area in our kitchen with light-up glass front cabinets and I love to display the glasses. DH and I never did a wedding registry and my family is poor so nothing to hand down. Explain to me why you don't want it.
Anonymous
Because my older relatives are still using theirs! LOL.
Anonymous
I didn't want china to begin with, but DH's grandma insisted and bought us the entire service. We have been married for 11 years and have never used it. We are much more casual entertainers and we've never even used our dining room. I regret getting furniture in there right away when we moved in because we should have repurposed that room and gotten a big kitchen table instead.
Anonymous
We are a family of four in a 1400 square foot row house. I don’t have rom for all of that and I don’t really take particular pleasure in using fine china/crystal/silver. I think my mom is already nervous about what will happen to her sets (she has her own silver plus half of her parents). The crystal, in particular, made me so nervous as a kid that I just have bad associations with it.
Anonymous
It’s not something I would use so it would just become something I have to store
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:We are a family of four in a 1400 square foot row house. I don’t have rom for all of that and I don’t really take particular pleasure in using fine china/crystal/silver. I think my mom is already nervous about what will happen to her sets (she has her own silver plus half of her parents). The crystal, in particular, made me so nervous as a kid that I just have bad associations with it.


That's a good point. If I'm hosting then I already have a million other things to worry about and adding concern about breaking delicate china or crystal doesn't sound appealing. Neither does hand washing.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:This comes up as an example in so many threads and I don't get it. I got my MIL's wedding china and I am beyond thrilled. It is a beautiful service in a classic, tasteful pattern. I use it for all the big holidays. I also got silver and some crystal. We have a sort of butler's pantry area in our kitchen with light-up glass front cabinets and I love to display the glasses. DH and I never did a wedding registry and my family is poor so nothing to hand down. Explain to me why you don't want it.




Because we did a registry. Because my family isn't poor. Because I don't want the china pattern my mom picked out 35 years ago. Because I want to select my own stuff. Anything else?
Anonymous
No desire for it. It's really as basic as that. My family had 3 different sets of China I could have received. All are quite pretty, but not really my taste. We have a set of everyday dishes and a set of nice dishes. I have no desire for the work that goes into having silver and just have a couple of silver pieces that are easy to care for. I have some crystal. But I'm also not a big fan of having anything that I'd be upset about if it broke. I know, weird reasons, but it really doesn't extend past I have no desire for it.
Anonymous
Too heavy, not microwavable, not really appropriate for the dishwasher everyday. Our cabinets are in decent shape but heavy dishes, lots of them, are a concern. Don't want to risk needing new cabinets and a kitchen renovation to store china.
Anonymous
I'd love it - I have a 900 square foot house. Where shall I put a second set of dishes?
Anonymous
On holidays, we eat at my DH’s grandparents table now in our house, use serving dishes from my grandparents and have linens from his mother. Some of these people are dead now and it’s nice to have a piece of them at the table with us. I get that some people don’t like it or aren’t sentimental about these things.
My MIL isn’t. I want to use the things she handed down to me! But she suggested we go with paper this year. I gave her a legit side eye. She straightened up, knowing how much pleasure I get from cherishing these pieces.
Anonymous
I broke all of it. I used it day to day and break fragile things.
Anonymous
It can be a burden. I have my mother's wedding china, and it's precious to me, but as a military family that moves all the time it's always something that I have to make sure gets extra care and is looked after. And we've lived in small houses before where storing it is a challenge.

I'm okay with dealing with the challenges for my mom's stuff, but I could easily see resenting it if it came from someone else or wasn't my taste, etc.
Anonymous

1. No space.

2. Want my own pattern.

Anonymous
Negative association with my mom.
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