Number of women who cheat on their husbands had increased by 40%

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jesus, I needed this article today. I am exactly the woman described. I just rekindled a relationship with an ex via text and it is pretty intense. It has really helped give me a jolt of joy from the otherwise constant resentment and anger I feel towards my husband.

I am trying to tread lightly because the ex is desperate to see me. It is a long distance situation and he wants us to meet up for a quick trip. I am 75% ready to go for it. I think it will help sustain me in my marriage.

Yes, it will sustain you in your marriage ... until you get caught (you will), and then it all blows up in your face... How about addressing why you have resentment and anger and then trying to fix what you have and made a commitment to?

NP if you read the article instead of resorting to your faux puritanical outrage , you'd know that research shows women who are on affairs have done exactly what you're suggesting ,only to see things stay the same . Nobody has any lesson to take from you

That's not really what the article says about research. It says that there was a sociologist who offered the opinion that "A lot of women have tried to address these problems and have faced a lot of stubbornness from husbands." That same sociologist says that "what social scientists are finding now is that there is a correlation between equal division of labor and better sex." However, studies on the division of labor and sex are contradictory at best: "Results show that both husbands and wives in couples with more traditional housework arrangements report higher sexual frequency, suggesting the importance of gender display rather than marital exchange for sex between heterosexual married partners."
www.asanet.org/sites/default/files/savvy/journals/ASR/Feb13ASRFeature.pdf

Whatever the merits of "choreplay," I don't think the article reliably supports the idea that these cheating women have necessarily tried very hard to address the causes of their resentment. Some have and some have not. PP should try to address the resentment before chasing the easier excitement of an affair.

ha ha ha.... Man here, we divide the labor in our house pretty equally in terms of all the chores, child-rearing, carpooling, cooking, you name it. Sex? What's that?

She's not that into you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stumbled on this forum when I saw this article on my phone and googled it to see the comments. The sense of entitlement and the weak justifications to cheat is incredible. Not that I am surprised but some of you on here are extremely selfish and have no morals. Exact reason why I will never marry, no reason to financially link yourself to someone who may cheat on you because you don't do enough chores or some other lame excuse. It is a little saddening because I would really like children but could not imagine how crushed I would be finding this out in a marriage.

Nailed it. Welcome to DCUM

Welcome to America

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few years ago just before I got married I had an amazing father/daughter conversation with my Dad about marriage and fidelity. My parents have been happily married for over 30 years and it's very obvious they are still in love. I asked my Dad if he had ever been tempted to cheat and he said "sure, everyone is!" I was like whoa! He then said something like "it's human nature to at some point be physically attracted to someone else but that doesn't mean you do anything about it." Before I could ask him the BIG question he said that he had never cheated not just because he loved my mom but because my siblings and I would lose respect for him and that would kill him. He then went on to say that when he went off to college the only advice his father ever gave him was to always make his mother proud and never embarrass the family. He'd never forgotten that. I then reminded him that when I went off to college he said "remember, college guys are only interested in two things - getting drunk and getting laid usually in that order!" He then said "well, my father was far more eloquent!"

I could never have a conversation like that with my father! Do you really believe he was telling the truth?

Yes, I do though I know some people on DCUM would never believe someone could be faithful! But I do know that it would kill him if he lost the respect of my mother and his children. He's just wired that way and he's been a great example. After I graduated from college and before I got married we'd have dinner together once a month just to catch up and we always had interesting conversations. It's something I do miss being married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few years ago just before I got married I had an amazing father/daughter conversation with my Dad about marriage and fidelity. My parents have been happily married for over 30 years and it's very obvious they are still in love. I asked my Dad if he had ever been tempted to cheat and he said "sure, everyone is!" I was like whoa! He then said something like "it's human nature to at some point be physically attracted to someone else but that doesn't mean you do anything about it." Before I could ask him the BIG question he said that he had never cheated not just because he loved my mom but because my siblings and I would lose respect for him and that would kill him. He then went on to say that when he went off to college the only advice his father ever gave him was to always make his mother proud and never embarrass the family. He'd never forgotten that. I then reminded him that when I went off to college he said "remember, college guys are only interested in two things - getting drunk and getting laid usually in that order!" He then said "well, my father was far more eloquent!"

I could never have a conversation like that with my father! Do you really believe he was telling the truth?

Yes, I do though I know some people on DCUM would never believe someone could be faithful! But I do know that it would kill him if he lost the respect of my mother and his children. He's just wired that way and he's been a great example. After I graduated from college and before I got married we'd have dinner together once a month just to catch up and we always had interesting conversations. It's something I do miss being married.

You're no longer married ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few years ago just before I got married I had an amazing father/daughter conversation with my Dad about marriage and fidelity. My parents have been happily married for over 30 years and it's very obvious they are still in love. I asked my Dad if he had ever been tempted to cheat and he said "sure, everyone is!" I was like whoa! He then said something like "it's human nature to at some point be physically attracted to someone else but that doesn't mean you do anything about it." Before I could ask him the BIG question he said that he had never cheated not just because he loved my mom but because my siblings and I would lose respect for him and that would kill him. He then went on to say that when he went off to college the only advice his father ever gave him was to always make his mother proud and never embarrass the family. He'd never forgotten that. I then reminded him that when I went off to college he said "remember, college guys are only interested in two things - getting drunk and getting laid usually in that order!" He then said "well, my father was far more eloquent!"

When my daughter goes off to college in two years and I'm going to tell my DH to tell her what your Dad said. It's so true and so much better coming from a dad than a mom.

We were at a restaurant when he said it and there were four 40-something women at the next table who overheard it and they said the same thing!

[Anonymous]

"remember, college guys are only interested in two things - getting drunk and getting laid usually in that order!" He then said "well, my father was far more eloquent!"


When my daughter goes off to college in two years and I'm going to tell my DH to tell her what your Dad said. It's so true and so much better coming from a dad than a mom.

We were at a restaurant when he said it and there were four 40-something women at the next table who overheard it and they said the same thing!

hmm, I don't agree with your dad. I had some really nice boyfriends in college. I think it depends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want to have an affair because DH basically ignores me except on the rare occasions he feels like having sex, and I am stuck on my own with the kids during his constant work travel. However, I can't imagine how I'd actually do it. No one has expressed any interest in having an affair with me. I'm not overweight and try to dress nicely, but maybe I'm just too old? (43). How do people get these affairs started?

In my experience, women in their early 40s, or from about 38 on are the best candidates for cheating. You shouldn't have any trouble finding someone but time is always an issue. That said, you aren't looking to date, just spend a few hours of quality naked time. As for finding someone, you do know there are sites dedicated to this end, right?

Guy here and this is my experience. I cannot speak for the article, but I know several women bw late thirties and fifty who are itching for excitement and have gone through with it.

[Anonymous]

Never get married - if you want a kid, use the donor route

Cristiano Ronaldo should be the model for all men

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

"remember, college guys are only interested in two things - getting drunk and getting laid usually in that order!" He then said "well, my father was far more eloquent!"


When my daughter goes off to college in two years and I'm going to tell my DH to tell her what your Dad said. It's so true and so much better coming from a dad than a mom.

We were at a restaurant when he said it and there were four 40-something women at the next table who overheard it and they said the same thing!

hmm, I don't agree with your dad. I had some really nice boyfriends in college. I think it depends.

Oh, my dad was doing it for effect! He went to college and my brother was a junior so he wasn't dumping on all guys! But I did some college guys who were like that and many more who weren't. When he said it I actually laughed and said "Dad, high school guys are like that!".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

"remember, college guys are only interested in two things - getting drunk and getting laid usually in that order!" He then said "well, my father was far more eloquent!"


When my daughter goes off to college in two years and I'm going to tell my DH to tell her what your Dad said. It's so true and so much better coming from a dad than a mom.

We were at a restaurant when he said it and there were four 40-something women at the next table who overheard it and they said the same thing!

hmm, I don't agree with your dad. I had some really nice boyfriends in college. I think it depends.

Oh, my dad was doing it for effect! He went to college and my brother was a junior so he wasn't dumping on all guys! But I did some college guys who were like that and many more who weren't. When he said it I actually laughed and said "Dad, high school guys are like that!".

But I did meet some....not, But I did some! Haha

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I feel like my DH and I are the only ones with a long (30 years), happy marriage. It makes me sad. We have so many friends who have divorced. I have no desire at all to cheat.

My parents have been married 39 years years and they are crazy about each other. There is no doubt in my mid that they are still physically attracted to one another! A lot of their friends who have been married 30 plus years are the same way so there is hope. My parents have a winter home in Florida and my Dad retired a few years ago because he really hated being away from my mother even though he liked his job. When they are apart for more than a few days they are miserable. I love it!

Nope! You do not know what goes behind closed doors, definitely not your parent's friends'. Keep on deluding yourself if you want. Would be interesting to hear your thoughts after 39 yrs of marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I feel like my DH and I are the only ones with a long (30 years), happy marriage. It makes me sad. We have so many friends who have divorced. I have no desire at all to cheat.

My parents have been married 39 years years and they are crazy about each other. There is no doubt in my mid that they are still physically attracted to one another! A lot of their friends who have been married 30 plus years are the same way so there is hope. My parents have a winter home in Florida and my Dad retired a few years ago because he really hated being away from my mother even though he liked his job. When they are apart for more than a few days they are miserable. I love it!

Nope! You do not know what goes behind closed doors, definitely not your parent's friends'. Keep on deluding yourself if you want. Would be interesting to hear your thoughts after 39 yrs of marriage.

You are a miserable person. NP, and my parents still dote on each other and enjoy each other's company as do my inlaws. You are correct that I don't know what goes on behind closed doors, but every indication is that they have healthy marriages. No idea if they still do it, but I assume so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm one of those women. This doesn't surprise me at all.

Are you still married? There is the old saying that when women cheat the marriage is over. So, are all of these marriages ending, or are women also now cheating and staying married?

Cheating and staying married. Not interested in the issues involved in divorce, or in remarrying.

Well, your husband might be interested in them once he finds out ...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few years ago just before I got married I had an amazing father/daughter conversation with my Dad about marriage and fidelity. My parents have been happily married for over 30 years and it's very obvious they are still in love. I asked my Dad if he had ever been tempted to cheat and he said "sure, everyone is!" I was like whoa! He then said something like "it's human nature to at some point be physically attracted to someone else but that doesn't mean you do anything about it." Before I could ask him the BIG question he said that he had never cheated not just because he loved my mom but because my siblings and I would lose respect for him and that would kill him. He then went on to say that when he went off to college the only advice his father ever gave him was to always make his mother proud and never embarrass the family. He'd never forgotten that. I then reminded him that when I went off to college he said "remember, college guys are only interested in two things - getting drunk and getting laid usually in that order!" He then said "well, my father was far more eloquent!"

When my daughter goes off to college in two years and I'm going to tell my DH to tell her what your Dad said. It's so true and so much better coming from a dad than a mom.

We were at a restaurant when he said it and there were four 40-something women at the next table who overheard it and they said the same thing!

Our saying in High School was "All girls are Bit##es and all guys are As**oles until proven otherwise." Following this advice prevented me from making many mistakes over the years.

[Anonymous]

Probably important to distinguish here between cheating and open marriage. I can understand a couple agreeing to have an open marriage. The true betrayal of cheating though is not the sex, but rather the deception.