Why do children get MORE expensive as they get older?

[Anonymous]

Just wait and see, OP. Wait and see...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My elementary boys go through sneakers in about 5 weeks. Grocery bill over $300/week. Spring sports enrollment cost over a thousand dollars (plus cost of equipment). New golf clubs last week for one kid, orthodontia coming up for two kids, one week of full day camp for the summer for all three was over a thousand dollars. We aren't even into cell phones yet. Plane rides to visit grandparents, every time we vacation it's 5 flights and a suite or two hotel rooms. 5 lift tickets. I mean- you really can't imagine how expensive life with kids is if you continue to be active.

Duh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look if you're one of those parents who don't care about enriching their children's lives with activities, lessons, summer camps, vacations, orthodontia, nice clothes and age appropriate toys (including the iphone and data plan they'll eventually need starting in upper elementary or ms), and oh yeah COLLEGE, then yes I guess you're right, they're not that expensive.

If you're the typical UMC parent who DOES care about all that stuff? They're expensive as f***.

and yet somehow I went to an Ivy League school and became a typical UMC parent, even though I never did any activities other than free school teams and bands, never took vacations, never had an iphone. This consumerist lifestyle is not necessary. Free yourself!

We don't do the above things to get our kids into an Ivy League school, although that would be a nice side benefit. We do them because we want them to be happy people with genuine interests who are engaged in the world around them. Another, though less important reason, is to help them fit in with their peers. Teenagers do care about things like the "right" brand of clothing and shoes, don't kid yourselves about that. Fitting in and feeling comfortable within one's peer group is very important to the teenage mind.

I'm happy to give my children opportunities to take horseback riding and tennis lessons, learn to play the piano, learn to ski, take them to Iceland and Costa Rica, etc. etc. Don't get me wrong. But I also don't kid myself that it's not expensive. They're the most expensive things in our lives. Raising a child and all that entails has become a luxury.

NP here. My parents were poor Asian immigrants and could not afford to travel or send me to summer camps. My boys know how to ski, play tennis and golf. They are on swim team. Their childhood is very different from mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What rubs me wrong about OP's original post is that she/he THINKs they know what to expect, but honestly, you have no idea. You can plan on saving $ when they start public school - but they need private. You can plan on only doing rec sports - but your kid is really good and loves it, so you end up on a travel team. You think you'll be fine in your apartment - then you realize you are all going crazy and end up buying a house. Shoes are really expensive, consignment stuff is less available, equipment costs more, and food costs are REAL.

I hope that your older kids don't cost more than your baby, but odds say that you will end up like most of us and end up spending more money on them than you planned.

we are Saved a lot of money in the baby and elementary school years, but that was mainly luck, having a sahm, and a fortuitous move to a lower cost of living area.

Yep. Good luck finding anything decent on consignment for kids between 8-12. I used to donate most of my son's school uniforms after he outgrew them, now they are TRASHED by the time he grows out of them, and sometimes need replacing mid-year! It's awful. They go through shoes crazy fast.

And sure, public school is cheaper than daycare, but somehow I'm not saving anymore of my money. My income is increasing, and my 401k is growing, but I'm still just not able to save money! It's outrageous.

You're saying it's outrageous, as if someone is fleecing you. You made those choices. Deal with it.

[Anonymous]

You get a little break K-2 but then the prices go up. More expensive clothes dental camps enrichment... we paid $5k each for orthodontist summer camp etc etc. it's not mandatory like day care but ...

[Anonymous]

It also depends on the size of your kids. Mine were in adult clothes at 12. Adult shoes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look if you're one of those parents who don't care about enriching their children's lives with activities, lessons, summer camps, vacations, orthodontia, nice clothes and age appropriate toys (including the iphone and data plan they'll eventually need starting in upper elementary or ms), and oh yeah COLLEGE, then yes I guess you're right, they're not that expensive.

If you're the typical UMC parent who DOES care about all that stuff? They're expensive as f***.

and yet somehow I went to an Ivy League school and became a typical UMC parent, even though I never did any activities other than free school teams and bands, never took vacations, never had an iphone. This consumerist lifestyle is not necessary. Free yourself!

We don't do the above things to get our kids into an Ivy League school, although that would be a nice side benefit. We do them because we want them to be happy people with genuine interests who are engaged in the world around them. Another, though less important reason, is to help them fit in with their peers. Teenagers do care about things like the "right" brand of clothing and shoes, don't kid yourselves about that. Fitting in and feeling comfortable within one's peer group is very important to the teenage mind.

I'm happy to give my children opportunities to take horseback riding and tennis lessons, learn to play the piano, learn to ski, take them to Iceland and Costa Rica, etc. etc. Don't get me wrong. But I also don't kid myself that it's not expensive. They're the most expensive things in our lives. Raising a child and all that entails has become a luxury.

Helping your kids "fit in" with their peers? Wow, can't wait to see how the next generation turns out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most families in DC or its suburbs don't have nannies. You're spending exponentially more than most on childcare - so maybe you're an exception to the rule that children don't get cheaper. I wouldn't be surprised though if someone who'd spend that much on childcare finds that they have higher than usual expectations (and costs) for schools, camps and activities.

If you have two kids, a lot of day cares in the DC area and surrounding (Bethesda or Arlington) cost about 2200 or more per months. Even if it's 2000 x 2 it will cost you 4000. 4000 x 12 = 48K a year. Obviously it starts going down as kids get older in day care, but that's what it costs in the early years.

In my DC office, there are a few families with nanny shares. That's about 22 or so total so each family pays about 11. 50 hours per week x 11 = 550 x 52 = 28600 for one kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It depends on how you're raising your children and what your expectations are. If you're preparing them for community college, it's likely cheaper. If they attend school with upper middle class children and you expect them to attend a selective four year college, there are additional costs. They're not required costs in the same way that daycare was, but they're costs that some parents would consider necessary to raise a child well.

Two of my children developed serious anxiety and it's quite often impossible to find psychiatrists and psychologists who are in network for your insurance. $300 a week for mental health care isn't something you can foresee when your child enters kindergarten. Tutors for organizational skills for a child with ADHD add up quickly too.

When you're working full time and have a toddler or two, life is pretty cheap (outside of child care) because you're exhausted. As they get older, you want to restart those activities you've given up - and you want to experience them with your children.

two children developing anxiety in a household that "expects them to attend a selective for your college". you don't say....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My elementary boys go through sneakers in about 5 weeks. Grocery bill over $300/week. Spring sports enrollment cost over a thousand dollars (plus cost of equipment). New golf clubs last week for one kid, orthodontia coming up for two kids, one week of full day camp for the summer for all three was over a thousand dollars. We aren't even into cell phones yet. Plane rides to visit grandparents, every time we vacation it's 5 flights and a suite or two hotel rooms. 5 lift tickets. I mean- you really can't imagine how expensive life with kids is if you continue to be active.

Duh.

who are these children who trash their shoes in a matter of weeks and why? this is ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends on how you're raising your children and what your expectations are. If you're preparing them for community college, it's likely cheaper. If they attend school with upper middle class children and you expect them to attend a selective four year college, there are additional costs. They're not required costs in the same way that daycare was, but they're costs that some parents would consider necessary to raise a child well.

Two of my children developed serious anxiety and it's quite often impossible to find psychiatrists and psychologists who are in network for your insurance. $300 a week for mental health care isn't something you can foresee when your child enters kindergarten. Tutors for organizational skills for a child with ADHD add up quickly too.

When you're working full time and have a toddler or two, life is pretty cheap (outside of child care) because you're exhausted. As they get older, you want to restart those activities you've given up - and you want to experience them with your children.

two children developing anxiety in a household that "expects them to attend a selective for your college". you don't say....

It's unbelievable the parents required mental health care and the parents couldn't figure out the connection. Therapists love people like PP. it's easy money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends on how you're raising your children and what your expectations are. If you're preparing them for community college, it's likely cheaper. If they attend school with upper middle class children and you expect them to attend a selective four year college, there are additional costs. They're not required costs in the same way that daycare was, but they're costs that some parents would consider necessary to raise a child well.

Two of my children developed serious anxiety and it's quite often impossible to find psychiatrists and psychologists who are in network for your insurance. $300 a week for mental health care isn't something you can foresee when your child enters kindergarten. Tutors for organizational skills for a child with ADHD add up quickly too.

When you're working full time and have a toddler or two, life is pretty cheap (outside of child care) because you're exhausted. As they get older, you want to restart those activities you've given up - and you want to experience them with your children.

two children developing anxiety in a household that "expects them to attend a selective for your college". you don't say....

It's unbelievable the parents required mental health care and the parents couldn't figure out the connection. Therapists love people like PP. it's easy money.

PP probably pays another psychiatrist to help her deal with the stress of spending so much money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who are these morons spending $2000/year to formula feed?

How am I a moron? My kid didn't grow on breastmilk (I mean, didn't gain an ounce no matter how much he drank), so we had to switch for formula. He vomited and vomited from powdered formula, then stopped eating altogether. We finally figured out that Alimentum ready to feed was what he needed, and it's the only formula that he will (1) eat (2) not vomit up and (3) doesn't cause him terrible constipation. 6 hospital stays later, plus many, many NG tubes (many of which I had to insert at home), we finally have gotten him to the point where he'll eat on his own.

Each bottle is 32 ounces, which is about what he eats in a day. $10.49 a bottle X 365 days is $3,800/year. We spent many months trying to figure out what he could eat, so we will only be giving him the Alimentum for about 6 months, so closer to $1,900.

And this is on top of the nanny we pay $3,000 a month to watch our kids. We are truly hoping things get cheaper as they get older!

[Anonymous]

so, kids in daycare are SUPEREXPENSIVE. and costs definitely drop off when they enter school . . . for awhile.

my oldest is in school and we are still in the sweetspot where we pay very little. aftercare is cheap and summer camps, if we splurge, top out at about 4000 for the summer. Most likely, we'll spend closer to 3000 for the summer, but we could have done it a LOT cheaper had I been on my game and booked ahead of time with the cheaper options. hell, I could have covered the whole summer for less than $1000 if I had enrolled in the DPR camps in time. other people pay for a bunch of activities at this age, but I don't much see the point.

my impression from my kids with older kids is that things ramp up, perhaps a bit later in elementary school, when the kids start enrolling in significant activities that have attached equipment and enrollment costs. and then by middle school, the kids want ridiculous stuff. I mean my kids want ridiculous stuff too but the frozen-themed lunchbox is not really that much of an expense, you know? honestly, if I am completely at loose ends for activities these days, I can play dvds that have seen 50 times before or just spend $5 at the dollar store on bubbles and balls and my kids are entertained for the day. whereas if one starts giving in occasionally on designer jeans or fancy DC United soccer camp or consumer electronics or sleepaway camps, well, even the occasional splurge adds up. if you have a kid in aikido lessons and piano lessons and one sport for the year, well, that adds up even before you start making ridiculous splurges.

I think we are a LONG time from paying more than we were with 2 kids in daycare. maybe when they're teens.

[Anonymous]

Mine are 7 and 10 year old boys who play outside literally every day before sports. They are playing street hockey , riding bikes, scooters etc. sometimes they simply go through a growth spurt and outgrow a pair. I'd rather have active kids who trash their sneakers through play than kids trapped in before or after care all day, or pristine sneakers because they play video games all afternoon.