Don't love my engagement ring

[Anonymous]

I truly don't think you should marry this man. You really need some time to yourself.

[Anonymous]

Why do you need a ring? Would you not marry a man who didn't give you a ring? If you asked the man to marry you, did you buy your own ring? What did you get him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you let him pick the ring??? What did you think would happen?

We went to look at rings together. I told him I wanted a delicate halo like this below:




But he got me something like this:



The halo has a gap around the diamond. It's a beautiful stone and I love it but I dislike the setting. I'm irked because I specificslly showed him the kind of halo I wanted.

these look exactly teh same setting

[Anonymous]

You sound too stupid to get married.

[Anonymous]

My husband spent nearly $30K on a 1.9k flawless... and now all my friends have 2k+ VS that were a lot less expensive. he's a moron.

Well, he married you, didnt he? Kinda proves your point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

This is OP. I don't wear any jewelry so I always knew my engagement ring had to be special because I would wear it forever. I emphasized it to him during the 4 years that we dated. How I actually cared about my engagement ring, not because I am materialistic ( I do not own any other jewelry) but because of sentimental value. I went with him to multiple jewelry stores and specified what kind of halo I wanted. We took pictures.

He still gave me the one I specified I did NOT like the look of.

Unfortunately there are other aspects of my relationship that I am also disappointed in. Not sure if I have crazy high expectations or they are legitimate grievances.

OK OP, you need to share what other aspects of your relationship you are disappointed in. Then DCUM will tell you if you are out of line or legitimately upset.

PS you don't have to like a lot of jewelry to be materialistic.
PPS I agree you should be happy with your ring. I loved my ring, but it took a long time to get a wedding band that I liked equally as well. You need something you'll be happy with. Ring and man.

If this is actually true (the extensive shopping, he was told which one NOT to buy and bought it), then you do have a problem. However, I really don't understand why, if the two of you were shopping for rings together, you didn't just buy the ring together. Then you would have gotten exactly what you wanted. It's not exactly a surprise traditional romantic proposal if you've already done a lot of shopping for the ring anyway.

He wanted to be the one to design it on his own after we went to different jewelers looking at different rings to see which I liked and which I didn't. He wanted to leave some element of surprise for me such as the final ring and the proposal itself.

I know he deeply cares for me and loves me. It's just that I sometimes feel that he doesn't go out of his way to do some things exactly as I want the, in an effort to show me he cares? If I was buying an engagement ring for someone, for example, I'd go out of my way to ensure I knew as much about what someone wanted before making the purchase. I'd want to meet their expectations. I sometimes feel like he doesn't care to. Now it's quite possible that my expectations are crazy and unrealistic.

I remember when we first started going out he was going to Paris for a work trip. He told me he would bring me chocolates. I was so excited. I've never been to Paris and never had chocolates from Paris. Although I did not expect him to, I was touched he was gonna bring me something small from Paris.

He of course, forgot to buy me the chocolates. I felt let down and as if he didn't care to meet my expectation.I wanted him to do something to impress me. He didn't even try.

I think your expectations are crazy and unrealistic. The guy went to several jewelry stores with you to figure out what you wanted and you don't think he put in an effort?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was this thread started by the fried tuna lady?

I was just going to ask the same thing!!! Just joined in and started on page 7 here, and the halo setting example makes me think we are in fried tuna land. Exotic spices anyone??

[Anonymous]

How many days until you fiancé becomes your first ExH?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you let him pick the ring??? What did you think would happen?

We went to look at rings together. I told him I wanted a delicate halo like this below:




But he got me something like this:



The halo has a gap around the diamond. It's a beautiful stone and I love it but I dislike the setting. I'm irked because I specificslly showed him the kind of halo I wanted.

these look exactly teh same setting

LOL, OP, please make some new friends outside of whomever you've been hanging out with. You are either a troll or someone who lacks any depth as a human being.

[Anonymous]

Cut him loose. He deserves better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh FFS. My ring has a 1/5 carat and we'll upsize it next year for our 25th wedding anniversary. We make $375K annually and nobody in our social circle gives a damn about diamond size.

Focus on your marriage. Good luck.

THis. I told my husband NOT to buy an engagement ring because I know that styles and tastes change, and they are an enormous waste of money. He asks every now and then if I want one. I still don't. Our HHI is well over $500k/yr, as is that of our friends. Many don't (wear? Have?) engagement rings.

[Anonymous]

Hopefully your Fiance is smart enough to return you...you sound like a lemon. And then you can be the only one in your circle with no ring!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you let him pick the ring??? What did you think would happen?

We went to look at rings together. I told him I wanted a delicate halo like this below:




But he got me something like this:



The halo has a gap around the diamond. It's a beautiful stone and I love it but I dislike the setting. I'm irked because I specificslly showed him the kind of halo I wanted.

these look exactly teh same setting

No it really doesn't. OP I understand what you mean. The second one looks cheap. Sorry. I would take it back. You're never going to make yourself love it. It's not what you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hopefully your Fiance is smart enough to return you...you sound like a lemon. And then you can be the only one in your circle with no ring!

+1. Please, please be a troll. If not, adulthood is going to be really hard for you with all of the "disappointments" yet to come.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

This is OP. I don't wear any jewelry so I always knew my engagement ring had to be special because I would wear it forever. I emphasized it to him during the 4 years that we dated. How I actually cared about my engagement ring, not because I am materialistic ( I do not own any other jewelry) but because of sentimental value. I went with him to multiple jewelry stores and specified what kind of halo I wanted. We took pictures.

He still gave me the one I specified I did NOT like the look of.

Unfortunately there are other aspects of my relationship that I am also disappointed in. Not sure if I have crazy high expectations or they are legitimate grievances.

OK OP, you need to share what other aspects of your relationship you are disappointed in. Then DCUM will tell you if you are out of line or legitimately upset.

PS you don't have to like a lot of jewelry to be materialistic.
PPS I agree you should be happy with your ring. I loved my ring, but it took a long time to get a wedding band that I liked equally as well. You need something you'll be happy with. Ring and man.

If this is actually true (the extensive shopping, he was told which one NOT to buy and bought it), then you do have a problem. However, I really don't understand why, if the two of you were shopping for rings together, you didn't just buy the ring together. Then you would have gotten exactly what you wanted. It's not exactly a surprise traditional romantic proposal if you've already done a lot of shopping for the ring anyway.

He wanted to be the one to design it on his own after we went to different jewelers looking at different rings to see which I liked and which I didn't. He wanted to leave some element of surprise for me such as the final ring and the proposal itself.

I know he deeply cares for me and loves me. It's just that I sometimes feel that he doesn't go out of his way to do some things exactly as I want the, in an effort to show me he cares? If I was buying an engagement ring for someone, for example, I'd go out of my way to ensure I knew as much about what someone wanted before making the purchase. I'd want to meet their expectations. I sometimes feel like he doesn't care to. Now it's quite possible that my expectations are crazy and unrealistic.

I remember when we first started going out he was going to Paris for a work trip. He told me he would bring me chocolates. I was so excited. I've never been to Paris and never had chocolates from Paris. Although I did not expect him to, I was touched he was gonna bring me something small from Paris.

He of course, forgot to buy me the chocolates. I felt let down and as if he didn't care to meet my expectation.I wanted him to do something to impress me. He didn't even try.

So he went to multiple stores with you, you told him exactly what you wanted....what the hell was there left to "design"? What's the difference between those two rings? Nothing. You're nuts. I hope he finds someone else, he's going to miserable with someone who has set totally unattainable expectations constantly.