I hate my own sister

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate to be an OP basher, but you sound immature if you are the much older sister saying you hate your sister just because of her choice in men. She is young enough to make mistakes. Cut her some slack. She has to learn things herself in life. It's her choice, not yours.

Only on DCUM would posters find fault with the person who isn't cheating.

The sister isn't cheating. She just found out that the man she loves is a cheater. She's reeling and turned to her sister to vent. And instead of support, she gets a tsunami of judgment and superiority.

By "support" I'm not saying OP should be supportive of sister continuing with this scumbag. But simply saying she loves her and is so sorry that she has been betrayed and lied to and that she knows sister will do the right thing is all that is needed here. Instead OP takes this as an occasion to heap scorn rather than kindness upon her.

+1

+2

You can express your opinion that this guy is bad news and that she should drop him like a hot potato without the level of judgment, scorn, and disgust that OP expresses. It's perfectly fine to say, "I love you, but I don't agree with your decision to keep seeing someone you know is cheating on his wife. I would prefer that you not talk to me about this relationship until you're ready to end it."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't say OP was under any obligation. I asked what was more important to her. That should determine what she does. But I'm afraid cutting a person out, then welcoming them back when they conformed to your requirements simply does not work. OP's sister is not a puppy; she is a human being with agency of her own. Not a toy OP can keep or discard at will.

Jesus. You're more dramatic than anyone on this thread. A toy to keep or discard at will? Hahaha. Relax.

OP, sisters go through far more difficult times than this. Eventually, your sister will realize this guy is an ass and will ditch him and see why you didn't want to hear all about her participation in his infidelity. If she can't get past your disapproval of an extramarital affair then you've got way bigger problems.

NP, I don't know if you caught all of OP's posts but she has been pretty dramatic herself. She clearly has some underlying issues with her sister; her reaction to this is outsized.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't say OP was under any obligation. I asked what was more important to her. That should determine what she does. But I'm afraid cutting a person out, then welcoming them back when they conformed to your requirements simply does not work. OP's sister is not a puppy; she is a human being with agency of her own. Not a toy OP can keep or discard at will.

Jesus. You're more dramatic than anyone on this thread. A toy to keep or discard at will? Hahaha. Relax.

OP, sisters go through far more difficult times than this. Eventually, your sister will realize this guy is an ass and will ditch him and see why you didn't want to hear all about her participation in his infidelity. If she can't get past your disapproval of an extramarital affair then you've got way bigger problems.

NP, I don't know if you caught all of OP's posts but she has been pretty dramatic herself. She clearly has some underlying issues with her sister; her reaction to this is outsized.

^^ Spoken like a cheater herself. Why is feeling disgusted by someone who wants to continue a relationship with a married father an outsized reaction? Sounds like a pretty normal one to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't say OP was under any obligation. I asked what was more important to her. That should determine what she does. But I'm afraid cutting a person out, then welcoming them back when they conformed to your requirements simply does not work. OP's sister is not a puppy; she is a human being with agency of her own. Not a toy OP can keep or discard at will.

Jesus. You're more dramatic than anyone on this thread. A toy to keep or discard at will? Hahaha. Relax.

OP, sisters go through far more difficult times than this. Eventually, your sister will realize this guy is an ass and will ditch him and see why you didn't want to hear all about her participation in his infidelity. If she can't get past your disapproval of an extramarital affair then you've got way bigger problems.

NP, I don't know if you caught all of OP's posts but she has been pretty dramatic herself. She clearly has some underlying issues with her sister; her reaction to this is outsized.

^^ Spoken like a cheater herself. Why is feeling disgusted by someone who wants to continue a relationship with a married father an outsized reaction? Sounds like a pretty normal one to me.

You don't have to be a cheater to see that OP's reaction to her sister is harsh.

[Anonymous]

Sure, lady

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sure, lady

All of these posts are not written by the same person. Why can't you handle people thinking differently than you without trying to turn them all into adulterous whores? Get over yourself.

[Anonymous]

So you understand that others disagree with your viewpoint as well. Okay. Agree to disagree.

[Anonymous]

Ask her if she is ready to have the kids when he has visitation. When she has children, how will this work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ask her if she is ready to have the kids when he has visitation. When she has children, how will this work?

And will younger sister end up pregnant by this ass? To hang onto him, or because she believes in her naïve way that it will show how really truly in love she is?

OP, I'm with you on being disgusted by her behavior but you can't do any more at this point and she needs to get burned to learn. Just hope and pray that she doesn't have a baby with the grade A jerk or he will never be out of her life, ever. Maybe if his kid comes to visit enough, and early on in their planned cohabitation, she'll realize that she doesn't want to buy into the whole family thing just yet....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't say OP was under any obligation. I asked what was more important to her. That should determine what she does. But I'm afraid cutting a person out, then welcoming them back when they conformed to your requirements simply does not work. OP's sister is not a puppy; she is a human being with agency of her own. Not a toy OP can keep or discard at will.

Jesus. You're more dramatic than anyone on this thread. A toy to keep or discard at will? Hahaha. Relax.

OP, sisters go through far more difficult times than this. Eventually, your sister will realize this guy is an ass and will ditch him and see why you didn't want to hear all about her participation in his infidelity. If she can't get past your disapproval of an extramarital affair then you've got way bigger problems.

NP, I don't know if you caught all of OP's posts but she has been pretty dramatic herself. She clearly has some underlying issues with her sister; her reaction to this is outsized.

^^ Spoken like a cheater herself. Why is feeling disgusted by someone who wants to continue a relationship with a married father an outsized reaction? Sounds like a pretty normal one to me.

^^Spoken like a cheater's wife. It sucks if that happened to you, but in the grand scheme of things... Nobody died, okay? So being disgusted with a young girl who got tangled in something less than perfect is completely out of place. Cheating is the married party's fault, you know

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ask her if she is ready to have the kids when he has visitation. When she has children, how will this work?

Shrug. How does it work for the overwhelming majority of women here?

I get the whole "happily ever after" routine drilled into you by Disney. But look around.