Cooper Middle School in McLean

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: WHAT RED FLAGS?? You've claimed "people knew". WHAT PEOPLE?? WHAT DID THEY KNOW??

I don't think anyone 'knew'. I know that my child was in his class at Cooper, and it was just an accumulation of little things you hear when you speak with your kid about their day - not something I went looking for, but stuff that kept coming up. One day it was the slide show about the scuba trip and pushing everyone to participate. Then the teaching via Skype from Germany. Then the off color jokes. And sending kids to his car for stuff, and the Chipotle runs. You hear this from time to time and say "There's something not right here, this guy is trying too hard to ingratiate himself with the kids." I honestly don't know if anyone complained about it. I did not, and I never compared thoughts with any other parents, but I also told my child to steer clear of him, and trips for scuba and Germany were not going to happen with this guy.

Problem is, if I had gone to an administrator, what would I say? "I got a bad feeling about this guy" They can't do anything about that, nor should they really. Nothing is really damning until someone accuses him of something real, or finds some evidence somehow. So no one really 'knew' until it was too late. The reaction afterwards is another story - FCPS seems to have really blown it on that.

I still don't see the huge red flags. Chipotle runs? Skype teaching? Sending kids to his car for stuff? Really?

What kind of "off color" jokes? What do you mean by he was trying too hard to ingratiate?

This is what I'm wondering too. My children have all had certain teachers through the years who are just more "casual" in their styles. I haven't always been thrilled with that, because I think the quality of teaching suffers when the teacher is trying too hard to be thought of as "cool." But I can't say I've ever been alarmed or sensed any red flags. I don't know that I would have if my child had been in this class and reported all of the above. I probably would have been irritated that in place of teaching, he seemed to be slacking off. But none of that points to sexual abuse, for crying out loud. How could anyone possibly have known?

Are you versed in "grooming"? Most pedophiles first groom potential victims before the actual sexual assault. Indications of grooming IS a RED flag, people, even if you choose not to believe it.

Of course I'm "versed in grooming". But I wonder how on earth you let your kids interact in the world without thinking every friendly adult in their lives is a potential pedophile. What if their soccer coach takes the team out for ice cream? Smiles at them? How about the music teacher who gives your child a hug when they master a difficult piece? The ice skating coach who catches your daughter so she won't fall? How do you possibly manage with all these "red flags" popping up on a daily basis?

Your kids should never be alone with another adult - and pretty much every organization that deals with kids has mandated that rule. And if someone is organizing situations to be alone with children, that is an ENORMOUS red flag. That doesn't say they can't have one on one interactions - but it's door open, in full view of everyone else kind of thing. Hotel rooms, cars, houses - kids should not be alone with another adult in those places, for everyone's protection.

Exactly. Time to get versed in grooming practices, especially those of male teaches perpetrated on male students. This is a relatively recent phenomenon. It used to be the usual male going after the girls, but that has taken a back seat. We now have many more cases of boys sexually assaulted by male teaches.

Do you have any links that can back up your claims?

You may review recent local news history if you like. Seems like the boys get assaulted as young as third/fourth grade.

So do you insist your children only have female teachers? I truly feel terrible for male teachers these days. People like you are making sweeping generalizations because of the crimes of a few. I feel fortunate that my kids have had some wonderful male teachers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: WHAT RED FLAGS?? You've claimed "people knew". WHAT PEOPLE?? WHAT DID THEY KNOW??

I don't think anyone 'knew'. I know that my child was in his class at Cooper, and it was just an accumulation of little things you hear when you speak with your kid about their day - not something I went looking for, but stuff that kept coming up. One day it was the slide show about the scuba trip and pushing everyone to participate. Then the teaching via Skype from Germany. Then the off color jokes. And sending kids to his car for stuff, and the Chipotle runs. You hear this from time to time and say "There's something not right here, this guy is trying too hard to ingratiate himself with the kids." I honestly don't know if anyone complained about it. I did not, and I never compared thoughts with any other parents, but I also told my child to steer clear of him, and trips for scuba and Germany were not going to happen with this guy.

Problem is, if I had gone to an administrator, what would I say? "I got a bad feeling about this guy" They can't do anything about that, nor should they really. Nothing is really damning until someone accuses him of something real, or finds some evidence somehow. So no one really 'knew' until it was too late. The reaction afterwards is another story - FCPS seems to have really blown it on that.

I still don't see the huge red flags. Chipotle runs? Skype teaching? Sending kids to his car for stuff? Really?

What kind of "off color" jokes? What do you mean by he was trying too hard to ingratiate?

This is what I'm wondering too. My children have all had certain teachers through the years who are just more "casual" in their styles. I haven't always been thrilled with that, because I think the quality of teaching suffers when the teacher is trying too hard to be thought of as "cool." But I can't say I've ever been alarmed or sensed any red flags. I don't know that I would have if my child had been in this class and reported all of the above. I probably would have been irritated that in place of teaching, he seemed to be slacking off. But none of that points to sexual abuse, for crying out loud. How could anyone possibly have known?

Are you versed in "grooming"? Most pedophiles first groom potential victims before the actual sexual assault. Indications of grooming IS a RED flag, people, even if you choose not to believe it.

Of course I'm "versed in grooming". But I wonder how on earth you let your kids interact in the world without thinking every friendly adult in their lives is a potential pedophile. What if their soccer coach takes the team out for ice cream? Smiles at them? How about the music teacher who gives your child a hug when they master a difficult piece? The ice skating coach who catches your daughter so she won't fall? How do you possibly manage with all these "red flags" popping up on a daily basis?

Your kids should never be alone with another adult - and pretty much every organization that deals with kids has mandated that rule. And if someone is organizing situations to be alone with children, that is an ENORMOUS red flag. That doesn't say they can't have one on one interactions - but it's door open, in full view of everyone else kind of thing. Hotel rooms, cars, houses - kids should not be alone with another adult in those places, for everyone's protection.

Exactly. Time to get versed in grooming practices, especially those of male teaches perpetrated on male students. This is a relatively recent phenomenon. It used to be the usual male going after the girls, but that has taken a back seat. We now have many more cases of boys sexually assaulted by male teaches.

Do you have any links that can back up your claims?

You may review recent local news history if you like. Seems like the boys get assaulted as young as third/fourth grade.

So do you insist your children only have female teachers? I truly feel terrible for male teachers these days. People like you are making sweeping generalizations because of the crimes of a few. I feel fortunate that my kids have had some wonderful male teachers.

Simply stay alert and vigilant. Learn to recognize the red flags of common grooming practices. Perhaps get a guest speaker to talk to parents and teachers about safety. See (or hear) something, say something, as in anything suspicious. No "proof" is required.

You are not the investigator, but you must report.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: WHAT RED FLAGS?? You've claimed "people knew". WHAT PEOPLE?? WHAT DID THEY KNOW??

I don't think anyone 'knew'. I know that my child was in his class at Cooper, and it was just an accumulation of little things you hear when you speak with your kid about their day - not something I went looking for, but stuff that kept coming up. One day it was the slide show about the scuba trip and pushing everyone to participate. Then the teaching via Skype from Germany. Then the off color jokes. And sending kids to his car for stuff, and the Chipotle runs. You hear this from time to time and say "There's something not right here, this guy is trying too hard to ingratiate himself with the kids." I honestly don't know if anyone complained about it. I did not, and I never compared thoughts with any other parents, but I also told my child to steer clear of him, and trips for scuba and Germany were not going to happen with this guy.

Problem is, if I had gone to an administrator, what would I say? "I got a bad feeling about this guy" They can't do anything about that, nor should they really. Nothing is really damning until someone accuses him of something real, or finds some evidence somehow. So no one really 'knew' until it was too late. The reaction afterwards is another story - FCPS seems to have really blown it on that.

I still don't see the huge red flags. Chipotle runs? Skype teaching? Sending kids to his car for stuff? Really?

What kind of "off color" jokes? What do you mean by he was trying too hard to ingratiate?

This is what I'm wondering too. My children have all had certain teachers through the years who are just more "casual" in their styles. I haven't always been thrilled with that, because I think the quality of teaching suffers when the teacher is trying too hard to be thought of as "cool." But I can't say I've ever been alarmed or sensed any red flags. I don't know that I would have if my child had been in this class and reported all of the above. I probably would have been irritated that in place of teaching, he seemed to be slacking off. But none of that points to sexual abuse, for crying out loud. How could anyone possibly have known?

Are you versed in "grooming"? Most pedophiles first groom potential victims before the actual sexual assault. Indications of grooming IS a RED flag, people, even if you choose not to believe it.

Of course I'm "versed in grooming". But I wonder how on earth you let your kids interact in the world without thinking every friendly adult in their lives is a potential pedophile. What if their soccer coach takes the team out for ice cream? Smiles at them? How about the music teacher who gives your child a hug when they master a difficult piece? The ice skating coach who catches your daughter so she won't fall? How do you possibly manage with all these "red flags" popping up on a daily basis?

Your kids should never be alone with another adult - and pretty much every organization that deals with kids has mandated that rule. And if someone is organizing situations to be alone with children, that is an ENORMOUS red flag. That doesn't say they can't have one on one interactions - but it's door open, in full view of everyone else kind of thing. Hotel rooms, cars, houses - kids should not be alone with another adult in those places, for everyone's protection.

Exactly. Time to get versed in grooming practices, especially those of male teaches perpetrated on male students. This is a relatively recent phenomenon. It used to be the usual male going after the girls, but that has taken a back seat. We now have many more cases of boys sexually assaulted by male teaches.

Do you have any links that can back up your claims?

You may review recent local news history if you like. Seems like the boys get assaulted as young as third/fourth grade.

So do you insist your children only have female teachers? I truly feel terrible for male teachers these days. People like you are making sweeping generalizations because of the crimes of a few. I feel fortunate that my kids have had some wonderful male teachers.

Simply stay alert and vigilant. Learn to recognize the red flags of common grooming practices. Perhaps get a guest speaker to talk to parents and teachers about safety. See (or hear) something, say something, as in anything suspicious. No "proof" is required.

You are not the investigator, but you must report.

Female predators often begin by verbally abusing male students while playing favorites with female students. They groom them by making them feel "special" and superior to other students. Their conduct may never rise to actual sexual abuse, but the damage they do to adolescents is incalculable, yet the schools rarely lift a finger.

[Anonymous]

Predator school employees must be stopped. All of them.

[Anonymous]

Now I'm suspicious when heads start leaving their school for 'hushed' reasons....