Religion that will help little girl feell good about herself, make peace with existential crisis

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think formal religion is necessary.

But I do believe religion is necessary for kids - it gives them answers to all your DD's questions. Gives them a reason to be good, love one another, etc. It sure helped when our cat died 2 weeks ago (Jesus left a note for 3 yr old DD that he came and took her to heaven, clouds drawn around it etc). I asked DD tonite "where's kitty?" She told me in heaven with Jesus. And I've never taken her to church. And telling her not to hit because it makes Jesus sad works too.

When my DD is older, she can read the bible and internet or whatever and formulate her own modified beliefs, but I think a childhood without religion is seriously lacking. Plus, with no religion now, there's no choice to make later. I think it's near impossible to make that leap as an adult. I'd think it's like trying to convince a jewish or muslim person that jesus was the messiah and god was his dad.

haha! Seriously? This is the most ridiculous thing I have read on DCUM. If I were Christian I would be offended that you pretended to be Jesus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry.. I meant to say that about 12:14's comment!

Do you think OP should lie to her daughter -- not tell her that she doesn't believe the "fairy tale" herself, but supports DD's belief?

I do not believe that OP should be so demeaning as to refer to religion, Jesus, Christianity, et al as a "fairy tale." If OP's DD is truly searching, OP should respect that and in fact be thankful that she has a child who is so introspective and insightful at such a young age.

She apparently has a bright little girl on her hands and yes, I think she should be supportive of DD finding her way in this. "Finding meaning" is a life-long journey for everyone, including OP. There will be ups, downs, twists and turns all along the way but I -- as a Christian -- believe that the truth will always end in finding God through Jesus Christ. That goes for anyone who is truly searching. Who knows, maybe God is reaching out to OP through her daughter?

[Anonymous]

My son went through a similar phase around that age. I think it's ok to tell your child that you don't have all the answers. I told him what we believed (agnostic/atheist) and what some of the other common religions believed in (afterlife, reincarnation). I also stressed that he was young and death was a long way off, it's not something that he had to figure out right away, and that his beliefs would likely change as he grew older. At the time he liked the idea of reincarnation, later he believed in Jesus, currently he thinks that there is probably nothing after death. He no longer has any existential angst about life/death. I think this is probably true for most people who are raised without religion.

In my opinion it the absolute wrong tactic to send your child to church. It may make her feel better temporarily, but she will likely question again when she is a teenager, and it will be far more traumatic to have to give up the fairy tale at that point (speaking from experience). If you never believe in an afterlife, there is no sense of loss later on. If she wants to go to church, that's a different circumstance, but I certainly wouldn't be the one to bring it up.

[Anonymous]

Incidentally, my son (now 9) recently read the Percy Jackson books (fiction involving greek gods) and said that he really liked the books even though he wasn't religious and didn't believe in greek gods. I guess he didn't realize that no one really believes in those gods anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son went through a similar phase around that age. I think it's ok to tell your child that you don't have all the answers. I told him what we believed (agnostic/atheist) and what some of the other common religions believed in (afterlife, reincarnation). I also stressed that he was young and death was a long way off, it's not something that he had to figure out right away, and that his beliefs would likely change as he grew older. At the time he liked the idea of reincarnation, later he believed in Jesus, currently he thinks that there is probably nothing after death. He no longer has any existential angst about life/death. I think this is probably true for most people who are raised without religion.

In my opinion it the absolute wrong tactic to send your child to church. It may make her feel better temporarily, but she will likely question again when she is a teenager, and it will be far more traumatic to have to give up the fairy tale at that point (speaking from experience). If you never believe in an afterlife, there is no sense of loss later on. If she wants to go to church, that's a different circumstance, but I certainly wouldn't be the one to bring it up.

I don't understand this line of thinking. First of all, questioning people go to church all the time. And why do you assume that s/he will have to "give up the fairy tale?" What if your child's faith deepens? You may be describing YOUR experience, but that certainly doesn't happen to everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son went through a similar phase around that age. I think it's ok to tell your child that you don't have all the answers. I told him what we believed (agnostic/atheist) and what some of the other common religions believed in (afterlife, reincarnation). I also stressed that he was young and death was a long way off, it's not something that he had to figure out right away, and that his beliefs would likely change as he grew older. At the time he liked the idea of reincarnation, later he believed in Jesus, currently he thinks that there is probably nothing after death. He no longer has any existential angst about life/death. I think this is probably true for most people who are raised without religion.

In my opinion it the absolute wrong tactic to send your child to church. It may make her feel better temporarily, but she will likely question again when she is a teenager, and it will be far more traumatic to have to give up the fairy tale at that point (speaking from experience). If you never believe in an afterlife, there is no sense of loss later on. If she wants to go to church, that's a different circumstance, but I certainly wouldn't be the one to bring it up.

I don't understand this line of thinking. First of all, questioning people go to church all the time. And why do you assume that s/he will have to "give up the fairy tale?" What if your child's faith deepens? You may be describing YOUR experience, but that certainly doesn't happen to everyone.

Right, it doesn't happen to everyone - so why "send" a child who is not asking for a religion to believe in - to church. Why not tell her about all the ways people deal with the issue of the meaning of life and let her think through it instead of "sending" her anywhere as a solution. Right now her faith can't "deepen" because she doesn't have religious faith. Get it? religion is one thing she should be exposed to but not be told that a particular religion or faith tale is the answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think formal religion is necessary.

But I do believe religion is necessary for kids - it gives them answers to all your DD's questions. Gives them a reason to be good, love one another, etc. It sure helped when our cat died 2 weeks ago (Jesus left a note for 3 yr old DD that he came and took her to heaven, clouds drawn around it etc). I asked DD tonite "where's kitty?" She told me in heaven with Jesus. And I've never taken her to church. And telling her not to hit because it makes Jesus sad works too.

When my DD is older, she can read the bible and internet or whatever and formulate her own modified beliefs, but I think a childhood without religion is seriously lacking. Plus, with no religion now, there's no choice to make later. I think it's near impossible to make that leap as an adult. I'd think it's like trying to convince a jewish or muslim person that jesus was the messiah and god was his dad.

haha! Seriously? This is the most ridiculous thing I have read on DCUM. If I were Christian I would be offended that you pretended to be Jesus.

I chuckled that it was the one thing on this board everyone rallied around to condemn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son went through a similar phase around that age. I think it's ok to tell your child that you don't have all the answers. I told him what we believed (agnostic/atheist) and what some of the other common religions believed in (afterlife, reincarnation). I also stressed that he was young and death was a long way off, it's not something that he had to figure out right away, and that his beliefs would likely change as he grew older. At the time he liked the idea of reincarnation, later he believed in Jesus, currently he thinks that there is probably nothing after death. He no longer has any existential angst about life/death. I think this is probably true for most people who are raised without religion.

In my opinion it the absolute wrong tactic to send your child to church. It may make her feel better temporarily, but she will likely question again when she is a teenager, and it will be far more traumatic to have to give up the fairy tale at that point (speaking from experience). If you never believe in an afterlife, there is no sense of loss later on. If she wants to go to church, that's a different circumstance, but I certainly wouldn't be the one to bring it up.

I don't understand this line of thinking. First of all, questioning people go to church all the time. And why do you assume that s/he will have to "give up the fairy tale?" What if your child's faith deepens? You may be describing YOUR experience, but that certainly doesn't happen to everyone.

Right, it doesn't happen to everyone - so why "send" a child who is not asking for a religion to believe in - to church. Why not tell her about all the ways people deal with the issue of the meaning of life and let her think through it instead of "sending" her anywhere as a solution. Right now her faith can't "deepen" because she doesn't have religious faith. Get it? religion is one thing she should be exposed to but not be told that a particular religion or faith tale is the answer.

You're right. The Holy Spirit will take care of that! We question, we knock... and the door is opened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son went through a similar phase around that age. I think it's ok to tell your child that you don't have all the answers. I told him what we believed (agnostic/atheist) and what some of the other common religions believed in (afterlife, reincarnation). I also stressed that he was young and death was a long way off, it's not something that he had to figure out right away, and that his beliefs would likely change as he grew older. At the time he liked the idea of reincarnation, later he believed in Jesus, currently he thinks that there is probably nothing after death. He no longer has any existential angst about life/death. I think this is probably true for most people who are raised without religion.

In my opinion it the absolute wrong tactic to send your child to church. It may make her feel better temporarily, but she will likely question again when she is a teenager, and it will be far more traumatic to have to give up the fairy tale at that point (speaking from experience). If you never believe in an afterlife, there is no sense of loss later on. If she wants to go to church, that's a different circumstance, but I certainly wouldn't be the one to bring it up.

I don't understand this line of thinking. First of all, questioning people go to church all the time. And why do you assume that s/he will have to "give up the fairy tale?" What if your child's faith deepens? You may be describing YOUR experience, but that certainly doesn't happen to everyone.

Right, it doesn't happen to everyone - so why "send" a child who is not asking for a religion to believe in - to church. Why not tell her about all the ways people deal with the issue of the meaning of life and let her think through it instead of "sending" her anywhere as a solution. Right now her faith can't "deepen" because she doesn't have religious faith. Get it? religion is one thing she should be exposed to but not be told that a particular religion or faith tale is the answer.

You're right. The Holy Spirit will take care of that! We question, we knock... and the door is opened.

And the holy spirit is on the other side -- for those who can work up a belief in him -- not for everyone, just those open to believe in that particular manifestation. Which may or may not be the thing for the little girl in question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son went through a similar phase around that age. I think it's ok to tell your child that you don't have all the answers. I told him what we believed (agnostic/atheist) and what some of the other common religions believed in (afterlife, reincarnation). I also stressed that he was young and death was a long way off, it's not something that he had to figure out right away, and that his beliefs would likely change as he grew older. At the time he liked the idea of reincarnation, later he believed in Jesus, currently he thinks that there is probably nothing after death. He no longer has any existential angst about life/death. I think this is probably true for most people who are raised without religion.

In my opinion it the absolute wrong tactic to send your child to church. It may make her feel better temporarily, but she will likely question again when she is a teenager, and it will be far more traumatic to have to give up the fairy tale at that point (speaking from experience). If you never believe in an afterlife, there is no sense of loss later on. If she wants to go to church, that's a different circumstance, but I certainly wouldn't be the one to bring it up.

I don't understand this line of thinking. First of all, questioning people go to church all the time. And why do you assume that s/he will have to "give up the fairy tale?" What if your child's faith deepens? You may be describing YOUR experience, but that certainly doesn't happen to everyone.

Right, it doesn't happen to everyone - so why "send" a child who is not asking for a religion to believe in - to church. Why not tell her about all the ways people deal with the issue of the meaning of life and let her think through it instead of "sending" her anywhere as a solution. Right now her faith can't "deepen" because she doesn't have religious faith. Get it? religion is one thing she should be exposed to but not be told that a particular religion or faith tale is the answer.

You're right. The Holy Spirit will take care of that! We question, we knock... and the door is opened.

It sure sounds like all roads lead to Christianity -- the only true road. Yet somehow the world is filled with people who follow many diverse religions and no religion at all. I suppose a Christian would say they didn't question and knock correctly so the door to true understanding is closed to them. Too bad!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son went through a similar phase around that age. I think it's ok to tell your child that you don't have all the answers. I told him what we believed (agnostic/atheist) and what some of the other common religions believed in (afterlife, reincarnation). I also stressed that he was young and death was a long way off, it's not something that he had to figure out right away, and that his beliefs would likely change as he grew older. At the time he liked the idea of reincarnation, later he believed in Jesus, currently he thinks that there is probably nothing after death. He no longer has any existential angst about life/death. I think this is probably true for most people who are raised without religion.

In my opinion it the absolute wrong tactic to send your child to church. It may make her feel better temporarily, but she will likely question again when she is a teenager, and it will be far more traumatic to have to give up the fairy tale at that point (speaking from experience). If you never believe in an afterlife, there is no sense of loss later on. If she wants to go to church, that's a different circumstance, but I certainly wouldn't be the one to bring it up.

I don't understand this line of thinking. First of all, questioning people go to church all the time. And why do you assume that s/he will have to "give up the fairy tale?" What if your child's faith deepens? You may be describing YOUR experience, but that certainly doesn't happen to everyone.

Right, it doesn't happen to everyone - so why "send" a child who is not asking for a religion to believe in - to church. Why not tell her about all the ways people deal with the issue of the meaning of life and let her think through it instead of "sending" her anywhere as a solution. Right now her faith can't "deepen" because she doesn't have religious faith. Get it? religion is one thing she should be exposed to but not be told that a particular religion or faith tale is the answer.

You're right. The Holy Spirit will take care of that! We question, we knock... and the door is opened.

It sure sounds like all roads lead to Christianity -- the only true road. Yet somehow the world is filled with people who follow many diverse religions and no religion at all. I suppose a Christian would say they didn't question and knock correctly so the door to true understanding is closed to them. Too bad!

All roads to Truth lead to Christianity, yes. I wouldn't say people didn't knock correctly. I would say that their journey to a relationship with God is not yet complete

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son went through a similar phase around that age. I think it's ok to tell your child that you don't have all the answers. I told him what we believed (agnostic/atheist) and what some of the other common religions believed in (afterlife, reincarnation). I also stressed that he was young and death was a long way off, it's not something that he had to figure out right away, and that his beliefs would likely change as he grew older. At the time he liked the idea of reincarnation, later he believed in Jesus, currently he thinks that there is probably nothing after death. He no longer has any existential angst about life/death. I think this is probably true for most people who are raised without religion.

In my opinion it the absolute wrong tactic to send your child to church. It may make her feel better temporarily, but she will likely question again when she is a teenager, and it will be far more traumatic to have to give up the fairy tale at that point (speaking from experience). If you never believe in an afterlife, there is no sense of loss later on. If she wants to go to church, that's a different circumstance, but I certainly wouldn't be the one to bring it up.

I don't understand this line of thinking. First of all, questioning people go to church all the time. And why do you assume that s/he will have to "give up the fairy tale?" What if your child's faith deepens? You may be describing YOUR experience, but that certainly doesn't happen to everyone.

Right, it doesn't happen to everyone - so why "send" a child who is not asking for a religion to believe in - to church. Why not tell her about all the ways people deal with the issue of the meaning of life and let her think through it instead of "sending" her anywhere as a solution. Right now her faith can't "deepen" because she doesn't have religious faith. Get it? religion is one thing she should be exposed to but not be told that a particular religion or faith tale is the answer.

You're right. The Holy Spirit will take care of that! We question, we knock... and the door is opened.

It sure sounds like all roads lead to Christianity -- the only true road. Yet somehow the world is filled with people who follow many diverse religions and no religion at all. I suppose a Christian would say they didn't question and knock correctly so the door to true understanding is closed to them. Too bad!

All roads to Truth lead to Christianity, yes. I wouldn't say people didn't knock correctly. I would say that their journey to a relationship with God is not yet complete

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son went through a similar phase around that age. I think it's ok to tell your child that you don't have all the answers. I told him what we believed (agnostic/atheist) and what some of the other common religions believed in (afterlife, reincarnation). I also stressed that he was young and death was a long way off, it's not something that he had to figure out right away, and that his beliefs would likely change as he grew older. At the time he liked the idea of reincarnation, later he believed in Jesus, currently he thinks that there is probably nothing after death. He no longer has any existential angst about life/death. I think this is probably true for most people who are raised without religion.

In my opinion it the absolute wrong tactic to send your child to church. It may make her feel better temporarily, but she will likely question again when she is a teenager, and it will be far more traumatic to have to give up the fairy tale at that point (speaking from experience). If you never believe in an afterlife, there is no sense of loss later on. If she wants to go to church, that's a different circumstance, but I certainly wouldn't be the one to bring it up.

I don't understand this line of thinking. First of all, questioning people go to church all the time. And why do you assume that s/he will have to "give up the fairy tale?" What if your child's faith deepens? You may be describing YOUR experience, but that certainly doesn't happen to everyone.

Right, it doesn't happen to everyone - so why "send" a child who is not asking for a religion to believe in - to church. Why not tell her about all the ways people deal with the issue of the meaning of life and let her think through it instead of "sending" her anywhere as a solution. Right now her faith can't "deepen" because she doesn't have religious faith. Get it? religion is one thing she should be exposed to but not be told that a particular religion or faith tale is the answer.

You're right. The Holy Spirit will take care of that! We question, we knock... and the door is opened.

It sure sounds like all roads lead to Christianity -- the only true road. Yet somehow the world is filled with people who follow many diverse religions and no religion at all. I suppose a Christian would say they didn't question and knock correctly so the door to true understanding is closed to them. Too bad!

All roads to Truth lead to Christianity, yes. I wouldn't say people didn't knock correctly. I would say that their journey to a relationship with God is not yet complete

What if they die before they complete their journey to a relationship with God?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son went through a similar phase around that age. I think it's ok to tell your child that you don't have all the answers. I told him what we believed (agnostic/atheist) and what some of the other common religions believed in (afterlife, reincarnation). I also stressed that he was young and death was a long way off, it's not something that he had to figure out right away, and that his beliefs would likely change as he grew older. At the time he liked the idea of reincarnation, later he believed in Jesus, currently he thinks that there is probably nothing after death. He no longer has any existential angst about life/death. I think this is probably true for most people who are raised without religion.

In my opinion it the absolute wrong tactic to send your child to church. It may make her feel better temporarily, but she will likely question again when she is a teenager, and it will be far more traumatic to have to give up the fairy tale at that point (speaking from experience). If you never believe in an afterlife, there is no sense of loss later on. If she wants to go to church, that's a different circumstance, but I certainly wouldn't be the one to bring it up.

I don't understand this line of thinking. First of all, questioning people go to church all the time. And why do you assume that s/he will have to "give up the fairy tale?" What if your child's faith deepens? You may be describing YOUR experience, but that certainly doesn't happen to everyone.

Right, it doesn't happen to everyone - so why "send" a child who is not asking for a religion to believe in - to church. Why not tell her about all the ways people deal with the issue of the meaning of life and let her think through it instead of "sending" her anywhere as a solution. Right now her faith can't "deepen" because she doesn't have religious faith. Get it? religion is one thing she should be exposed to but not be told that a particular religion or faith tale is the answer.

You're right. The Holy Spirit will take care of that! We question, we knock... and the door is opened.

It sure sounds like all roads lead to Christianity -- the only true road. Yet somehow the world is filled with people who follow many diverse religions and no religion at all. I suppose a Christian would say they didn't question and knock correctly so the door to true understanding is closed to them. Too bad!

All roads to Truth lead to Christianity, yes. I wouldn't say people didn't knock correctly. I would say that their journey to a relationship with God is not yet complete

What if they die before they complete their journey to a relationship with God?

God's will be done

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son went through a similar phase around that age. I think it's ok to tell your child that you don't have all the answers. I told him what we believed (agnostic/atheist) and what some of the other common religions believed in (afterlife, reincarnation). I also stressed that he was young and death was a long way off, it's not something that he had to figure out right away, and that his beliefs would likely change as he grew older. At the time he liked the idea of reincarnation, later he believed in Jesus, currently he thinks that there is probably nothing after death. He no longer has any existential angst about life/death. I think this is probably true for most people who are raised without religion.

In my opinion it the absolute wrong tactic to send your child to church. It may make her feel better temporarily, but she will likely question again when she is a teenager, and it will be far more traumatic to have to give up the fairy tale at that point (speaking from experience). If you never believe in an afterlife, there is no sense of loss later on. If she wants to go to church, that's a different circumstance, but I certainly wouldn't be the one to bring it up.

I don't understand this line of thinking. First of all, questioning people go to church all the time. And why do you assume that s/he will have to "give up the fairy tale?" What if your child's faith deepens? You may be describing YOUR experience, but that certainly doesn't happen to everyone.

Right, it doesn't happen to everyone - so why "send" a child who is not asking for a religion to believe in - to church. Why not tell her about all the ways people deal with the issue of the meaning of life and let her think through it instead of "sending" her anywhere as a solution. Right now her faith can't "deepen" because she doesn't have religious faith. Get it? religion is one thing she should be exposed to but not be told that a particular religion or faith tale is the answer.

You're right. The Holy Spirit will take care of that! We question, we knock... and the door is opened.

It sure sounds like all roads lead to Christianity -- the only true road. Yet somehow the world is filled with people who follow many diverse religions and no religion at all. I suppose a Christian would say they didn't question and knock correctly so the door to true understanding is closed to them. Too bad!

All roads to Truth lead to Christianity, yes. I wouldn't say people didn't knock correctly. I would say that their journey to a relationship with God is not yet complete

What if they die before they complete their journey to a relationship with God?

God's will be done

Exactly. God knows their heart and their mind. We don't.