Religion that will help little girl feell good about herself, make peace with existential crisis
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Anonymous
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So I know that title is absurd. What little girl (age 7) has an existential crisis? But, mine is asking questions about not understanding why she was born, why she is who she is, what is a soul, how the universe was made, where the first beings came from, etc. etc. She's sad and cries about it. Sometimes she tells me she can't explain, can't find the words to express what's bothering her. (Yes we are looking at therapy as well).
I'm an ex Catholic, now mostly agnostic. But when she was feeling lost, I told her about God, ("Some people believe..." God having a plan for her, God sending Jesus... and it seemed to give her some peace. If religion is what she needs, that's fine with me. I always have felt I'd let my kids find their own way to religion if they want it. But if this child needs it sooner than later.... what church/faith do you think is best for little girls? Not to offend Catholics who share the religion of my birth; the messages I personally internalized, esp. about women, from 13 years in Catholic school were mostly negative. I would not want Hell, the Devil, damnation to be important, but a message of love and that she has a purpose here/reason for having been born. Any ideas? Thank you. |
Anonymous
| Poor kid. I go to a Methodist church where the message is always positive and there is a strong children's ministry. I know my kids have gotten through some tough times because of their very genuine faith in God and his love- and so have I. I chose our church based on the community of people and the positive environment, not the denomination. Check out your local Protestant or non-denominational churches. Good luck to you and your daughter. |
Anonymous
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You might look into Unitarian Universalism--their structured religious education programs are great, and they support kids' religious exploration.
http://altreligion.about.com/od/beliefsandcreeds/tp/Seven_UU_Principles.htm |
Anonymous
| Honestly, I would say Catholicism or something similar because that's what you know and can guide her with. I have the same issues with it but it has a sense of routine and ceremony that is calming to children. As she grows you can explain the things you don't believe. That's what my parents did with me and I turned out with a decent base. |
Anonymous
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I think you have a soulful, pensive, ahead-of-her-years child! Have you tried having conversations with her about her concerns?
I'm a Unitarian Universalist, and we support the idea that each individual's spiritual journey is that: a journey. For a community of supportive, open-minded and curious people I recommend finding a UU church in your area. It sounds like she has big concepts and ideas, which is probably pretty overwhelming for a seven year old! I'd recommend also just giving her the space to explore her thoughts safely and thoroughly. |
Anonymous
| Do you have answers for those questions(for yourself) that you can give her? What do you tell yourself in the long night? |
Anonymous
That I won't know until I die, and I'm OK with that. |
Anonymous
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I think she would thrive in a Lutheran church, specifically an ELCA congregation. That is where both my young DD and DS are thriving. The church teaches about God's amazing love and grace. They teach that we don't have to do anything to earn God's love; it is simply a gift freely given. It is a powerful and comforting message.
We have found the church to be genuinely kind and caring. They also welcome and encourage questions. The church also places a big focus on serving others. The youth are involved in a variety of outreach opportunities. Seek out a congregation that has a thriving youth program. Good luck! |
Anonymous
OP, the first thing that came to my mind from your post was nuns. Your post reminded me of Sister Marie. Our family attends one of the more conservative Catholic churches in the area, and even at that one the CCD program is not one of sin and damnation. At the youngrr ages especially it is all about God's love. Now, I am not saying you should go Catholic, but there are many warm and nurturing Catholic churches that are not what you experienced, particularly with regards to CCD. What those classes are like might not be at all what you remember them to be. |
Anonymous
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You could try reading some kids' books on Buddhism with her. There are some excellent ones. It's a spiritual path that would probably work quite well with a questioning Mom.
A lot of people really like a book called "Is Nothing Something?" which answers a lot of these questions from kids from a Buddhist perspective. http://www.amazon.com/Nothing-Something-Questions-Friendship-Everything/dp/1937006654/ref=sr_1_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1433904467&sr=1-4&keywords=buddhism+children |
Anonymous
| We are in Fairfax. I attended UU for a while - I personally am comfortable with it - but in my opinion, I think it doesn't give answers to the needy. It incorporates moral lessons and stories of all traditions, but it won't tell a child "God made you; God loves you; you have a purpose; it's all going to be OK". I feel Unitarianism is careful not to try to seem to have THE answers, and that is what this child needs. Even if the answers aren't what I believe, even if it's just one perspective of the truth. She needs someone to give her faith. |
Anonymous
Thanks, this is a great idea. |
Anonymous
| OP again, how about a liberal Christian faith that ordains women? My kids are both female; I want them to see women in leadership roles. Google's not helping much... |
Anonymous
| The Lutherans - and I say this as a Catholic and have a UU husband. Look for a good Sunday school. |
Anonymous
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What a silly thread. Here we have a collection of adults discussing in all seriousness about what version of a fairy tale to give to a wondering 7 year old, whose concern for who is is, where she came from, and what the future holds are very real and genuine.
If a child is old enough to wonder about these things, then that child deserves the truth. If you don't know, tell her you don't know. If you are catholic and believes the catholic canon, then teach that. Don't teach the kid something you yourself have no experience with. It will only lead to more questions, and a deepening sense of betrayal when she gets older and discovers things on her own through experience, education, and reasoning. I'm an atheist, but I can at least respect the religious parents for having the conviction to follow through. |