Do men like women who are helpless?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

So, a barista couldn't possibly be highly intelligent, educated and classy. This is classic entitled classism at its finest.
You know what, PP? I'm a extraordinary intelligent, classy lady that's quite capable of raising amazing children. I switched careers when I became older to something less "sophisticated" to allow my mind to relax at work, so I have plenty of mental energy for my art. We don't all fit the same mold. I certainly hope that you do not have a nanny, since you'd surely look down a her, even tho many nannies have degrees.

She could be. Statistically, she is less likely to be all these things. This is not personal to you.

If you switched careers to something less sophisticated when you became older, you couldn't possibly be a fun, sweet, young thing the PP had in mind. Your education would be..er...in the way.

I have no problems with nannies but my DH wouldn't have married one, and I don't want my son to marry one or my daughter to become one, either.

It is entirely possible to be an educated 'fun, sweet young thing'. Lots of us manage that quite well. Our education is a plus, but don't downplay the importance of fun and sweet in a life partner. Men certainly don't...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

So, a barista couldn't possibly be highly intelligent, educated and classy. This is classic entitled classism at its finest.
You know what, PP? I'm a extraordinary intelligent, classy lady that's quite capable of raising amazing children. I switched careers when I became older to something less "sophisticated" to allow my mind to relax at work, so I have plenty of mental energy for my art. We don't all fit the same mold. I certainly hope that you do not have a nanny, since you'd surely look down a her, even tho many nannies have degrees.

She could be. Statistically, she is less likely to be all these things. This is not personal to you.

If you switched careers to something less sophisticated when you became older, you couldn't possibly be a fun, sweet, young thing the PP had in mind. Your education would be..er...in the way.

I have no problems with nannies but my DH wouldn't have married one, and I don't want my son to marry one or my daughter to become one, either.

Right. You don't want the help in your family. We get it.

[Anonymous]

I only date women who have some athletic experience because (1) I want athletic kids and (2) there seems to be a correlation between being interested in athletic activity and in other kinds of physical activity...

As far as intelligence goes, I like someone close to my IQ, but not higher. Higher is pretty hard to come by anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are missing the nuance here PP. Everyone understands men value physical beauty and attraction. We are discussing whether or not some men also value dominance and seek out hot helpless women.

Two hot twins. One is helpless, the other is dominant. Who do you court?

Totally depends on the guy. Most guys like someone in between -- not ball busting but not completely dependent Some guys really like dominant women. Some guys really like dependent women

It's a matter of the guy's personality and taste. I'm an attorney and widely described as "a strong personality." I've had no shortage of men begging to date me. Some of them were very strong personalities who wanted a partner who wouldn't be overwhelmed by them. Some were more passive men who wanted a partner who would take the lead and run the relationship and their lives.

If OP can't find a date, she needs to look at herself not at men.

Passive men begged to date you?

Bait and switch. They were fine when they were asking me out, but then they wanted a Mommy to run their lives and make their decisions for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are missing the nuance here PP. Everyone understands men value physical beauty and attraction. We are discussing whether or not some men also value dominance and seek out hot helpless women.

Two hot twins. One is helpless, the other is dominant. Who do you court?

Helpless = annoying
Dominant = threatening, and possibly also annoying

Neither. If there is a disagreement, you'll always lose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

So, a barista couldn't possibly be highly intelligent, educated and classy. This is classic entitled classism at its finest.
You know what, PP? I'm a extraordinary intelligent, classy lady that's quite capable of raising amazing children. I switched careers when I became older to something less "sophisticated" to allow my mind to relax at work, so I have plenty of mental energy for my art. We don't all fit the same mold. I certainly hope that you do not have a nanny, since you'd surely look down a her, even tho many nannies have degrees.

She could be. Statistically, she is less likely to be all these things. This is not personal to you.

If you switched careers to something less sophisticated when you became older, you couldn't possibly be a fun, sweet, young thing the PP had in mind. Your education would be..er...in the way.

I have no problems with nannies but my DH wouldn't have married one, and I don't want my son to marry one or my daughter to become one, either.

It is entirely possible to be an educated 'fun, sweet young thing'. Lots of us manage that quite well. Our education is a plus, but don't downplay the importance of fun and sweet in a life partner. Men certainly don't...

That's exactly what I said. Baristas don't have a monopoly on fun, sweet and attractive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

So, a barista couldn't possibly be highly intelligent, educated and classy. This is classic entitled classism at its finest.
You know what, PP? I'm a extraordinary intelligent, classy lady that's quite capable of raising amazing children. I switched careers when I became older to something less "sophisticated" to allow my mind to relax at work, so I have plenty of mental energy for my art. We don't all fit the same mold. I certainly hope that you do not have a nanny, since you'd surely look down a her, even tho many nannies have degrees.

She could be. Statistically, she is less likely to be all these things. This is not personal to you.

If you switched careers to something less sophisticated when you became older, you couldn't possibly be a fun, sweet, young thing the PP had in mind. Your education would be..er...in the way.

I have no problems with nannies but my DH wouldn't have married one, and I don't want my son to marry one or my daughter to become one, either.

I hope parents like you understand that your children are separate from you and certainly get to have their own lives outside of your preferences. Being a nanny is a honorable vocation, one often held by people who were teachers and have multiple degrees. All professions that serve society in some way are equally honorable. There's no intelligence difference between the barista and the doctor- in many cases, the barista is studying and paying for degrees. Intelligence is spread over all demographics and class is innate, not the product of money. Your classism is as sad as racism . What will you do if one of your children wants to become an artist? Is gay? Falls in love with a fishmonger? Decides to become a chef or go to another country and do charity work? Will you teach your children that certain vocations are substandard? How will this affect how they treat others?

The most critical thing children need to acquire is empathy, kindness, and a love of nature and the arts. All else follows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I hope parents like you understand that your children are separate from you and certainly get to have their own lives outside of your preferences. Being a nanny is a honorable vocation, one often held by people who were teachers and have multiple degrees. All professions that serve society in some way are equally honorable. There's no intelligence difference between the barista and the doctor- in many cases, the barista is studying and paying for degrees. Intelligence is spread over all demographics and class is innate, not the product of money. Your classism is as sad as racism . What will you do if one of your children wants to become an artist? Is gay? Falls in love with a fishmonger? Decides to become a chef or go to another country and do charity work? Will you teach your children that certain vocations are substandard? How will this affect how they treat others?

The most critical thing children need to acquire is empathy, kindness, and a love of nature and the arts. All else follows.

Let's not pretend that there is anything like "the most critical thing" all children need to acquire. Perhaps this is the most critical thing your children need to acquire. You raise your children the way you see fit, and I'll do the same with mine.

Gayness has nothing to do with intelligence, success or ambition; don't quite know why you've put it in your little rant. The C-suite in my organization is full of them. I approve.

I've actually had a brief and torrid affair with a chef myself, but never considered marrying him. My daughter is free to do the same with a fishmonger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was in law school, many of the men in my class were very open about the fact that they were not the least bit interested in dating women who were fellow law students. I was already engaged at the time so it didn't affect me, but I thought it was weird.

They were smart.

I'm married to a lawyer. I can't imagine trying to have a family and give your children the attention they deserve with two lawyers as parents. The hours are brutal and not compatible with a balanced home life.

If they are both in private practice, I would agree. My husband and I are both attorneys, but neither of us is in private practice.

[Anonymous]

IMO, yes, men like women who aren't as smart or capable. But, most educated men would never admit it, probably even to themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nothing is more misogynistic than one woman judging another woman. "just a waitress"' really? MYOB and work on your personality. Mayhap then a man will take an interest in you.

We have a winner.

[Anonymous]

My husband has told me that his dream woman is basically a sex slave who will also smilingly wait hand and foot on him, all while earning big bucks at an intellectually demanding job. She should always flatter him, do everything he wants, and never complain.

He's had his periods of discontent, but mostly he can't seem to resist me, a fierce, strong, independent thinker who challenges him in every way.

[Anonymous]

Well, PP, you must be close to pedestalization. I could not breathe the same rarefied air of such a paragon as your DH idealizes.

I do define marriage as a social contract and I do my damnedest to hold up my end of the bargain in the looks, achievement and personality compartments. It feels a charade sometimes but I do like keeping my husband happy because it makes me happy too. Then when the parents are happy the kids are happy. And no, I do not have any stick figure decals nor "happy wife happy life" dupa pasted on my nondescript kid-hauling SUV.

[Anonymous]

I guess romance is totally dead nowadays LOL