Do men like women who are helpless?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
My marriage ended because I'd been less than forthright in letting my DH know who I was before we married. I own that.

He grew angry and resentful as he came to understand my background. I fault him for not being proud of me instead of becoming petulant, but I also concede that I was being understated about my family background, education, relative wealth, life experience, cultural awareness,...general sophistication. He wanted a village wife and that's not me.

The sad thing is that I never worried about our mis-matched backgrounds. The only thing that mattered was what I thought was our shared values and the life we could build together.

I hear what you're saying, OP, although I would state it differently.

He dumped you, AFTER he had married you, because you were too accomplished and came from too privileged an upbringing? If he cared so much about your upbringing, why didn't he insist on meeting the parents who brought you up? How were you able to hide coming from a more sophisticated background? Why were you hiding it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've noticed that some men that I work with or friends with date women who are not their equals. Ex: PhD dates a woman that works as a waitress. Athletic guy dates a girl that doesn't like sports. Etc. Of course none of these men are married so maybe that is why. Your thoughts DCUM?

That's it...education and occupation.
Those are the only areas that matter - the only factors that can be used to determine whether or not two people are "equal"
Lol - you got a lot to learn lady.
Look, they may not be equals in your eyes according to the traits that matter to you but that doesn't mean they aren't equals and compatible in other areas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've also known women who do this. C-level exec married to an artist/actor/plumber.

I did this once (Dr dating a guy with a construction background). He dumped me and said he would rather date a secretary. OK

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've noticed that some men that I work with or friends with date women who are not their equals. Ex: PhD dates a woman that works as a waitress. Athletic guy dates a girl that doesn't like sports. Etc. Of course none of these men are married so maybe that is why. Your thoughts DCUM?

That's it...education and occupation.
Those are the only areas that matter - the only factors that can be used to determine whether or not two people are "equal"
Lol - you got a lot to learn lady.
Look, they may not be equals in your eyes according to the traits that matter to you but that doesn't mean they aren't equals and compatible in other areas.

Did you miss the dissimilar interests part?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dc working women with high b level degrees in nonsense are very frumpy and argumentative.

Both of the guys I was thinking of live outside of DC.

The reason I'm asking is that while I don't have a problem dating it seems like men that are my equals prefer to date down. I'm not basing it on simply a description of the women but actually meeting them. So while a waitress can be smart, this one was not. She also couldn't do anything other than look good and stroke his ego. As a PP said, it is probably because these two men are immature.

This is Dating 101- men like different types of women. What you see on the surface isn't all she is bringing to the table. Do you really not have any problems dating? This questions screams 'she's getting what I want and she doesn't even deserve it!'

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dc working women with high b level degrees in nonsense are very frumpy and argumentative.

Both of the guys I was thinking of live outside of DC.

The reason I'm asking is that while I don't have a problem dating it seems like men that are my equals prefer to date down. I'm not basing it on simply a description of the women but actually meeting them. So while a waitress can be smart, this one was not. She also couldn't do anything other than look good and stroke his ego. As a PP said, it is probably because these two men are immature.

This is Dating 101- men like different types of women. What you see on the surface isn't all she is bringing to the table. Do you really not have any problems dating? This questions screams 'she's getting what I want and she doesn't even deserve it!'

Yep.

[Anonymous]

Women with more education can be intimidating to men.

Men see women with more education as competition - she might want her career to come before his.

[Anonymous]

I switched to an 'inferior' job after getting married. Our lives are 100% better because of it. Family life is extremely difficult with two high-level professionals. It works so much better if one person is out of the game, so to speak.

[Anonymous]

Relationships are a sharing of resources. You do not necessarily need to, nor is it always advantageous to bring the exact same resources to the table. You balance each other out, have similar values, are compatible, etc....

You are not necessarily both EXACTLY THE SAME though. Sometimes you are quite different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've noticed that some men that I work with or friends with date women who are not their equals. Ex: PhD dates a woman that works as a waitress. Athletic guy dates a girl that doesn't like sports. Etc. Of course none of these men are married so maybe that is why. Your thoughts DCUM?

That's it...education and occupation.
Those are the only areas that matter - the only factors that can be used to determine whether or not two people are "equal"
Lol - you got a lot to learn lady.
Look, they may not be equals in your eyes according to the traits that matter to you but that doesn't mean they aren't equals and compatible in other areas.

Did you miss the dissimilar interests part?

Oh yeah...athletic guy dates a girl that doesn't like sports
GASP!! - THEY'RE TOTALLY INCOMPATIBLE!!!!
Not.
Get it together the OP isn't some enlightened sage she's a nosey douche being way too critical of her co-workers and friends dating preferences - OP needs to get a life of her own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I switched to an 'inferior' job after getting married. Our lives are 100% better because of it. Family life is extremely difficult with two high-level professionals. It works so much better if one person is out of the game, so to speak.

But see, some women would resent losing their career just to keep their man happy. Me, for instance. Sometimes it's better to find a higher quality guy who can handle being in a relationship with another high level professional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I switched to an 'inferior' job after getting married. Our lives are 100% better because of it. Family life is extremely difficult with two high-level professionals. It works so much better if one person is out of the game, so to speak.

But see, some women would resent losing their career just to keep their man happy. Me, for instance. Sometimes it's better to find a higher quality guy who can handle being in a relationship with another high level professional.

I hope you are aware of how obnoxious this sounds. Higher quality guy, huh?

[Anonymous]

Some men (and women too) like people whom they feel they are superior to or whom they can control. I think it's people who are insecure. Some people like to feel dominant and don't enjoy being challenged. My father is one of those people, and for the longest time he was attracted to damsels in distress.

Many people find helpless people very annoying though, so it's definitely not all men or women.

[dcguy]

Edited

[Anonymous]

And - yes, it is very possible for two high level professionals to find love together. Happens all the time. It's just weird to think that everyone wants that.