Your opinion on my family's homework policy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Congrats, they think rules don't apply to them. Good luck getting them to pay their taxes.

A's and B's may not be good enough to get into a good college. Of course if all you aspire to is somewhere like JMU, you should be o.k.,

Oh, can it.

low expectations, sub-par results. College acceptance is so competitive, but I have heard there is one for everybody; i.e., the right "fit" and all. I wonder which school is the right fit for kids who choose which homework they will and will not do? Maybe put this on your application essay - why I picked and chose which homework I would do.?

Also a good thing to discuss in your future job interviews: "I simply ignore assigned tasks that I'd rather not do."

Or "I was able to determine and focus on the tasks that were a priority for achieving the end goal and not waste time on things that added little value." I'd much rather hire someone who can thoughtfully evaluate our systems and processes to find things that are inefficient/ineffective than someone who just follows along because that's what they've been told. I want thinkers, not lemmings, on my team. If something doesn't make sense, I want my team members to challenge it. If I disagree, we can discuss it, but I hope the discussion is more than "do it because I said so." I didn't hear anything in OP's description where the teacher provided arguments in support of homework for the A student beyond "it's disrespectful of me to not do it." If any manager in my organization justified having an employee do something based solely on respect for authority vs. articulating how and why it mattered in achieving our goals, they would be gone.

no, things you decided were of little value. We don't want to hire people who take this decision upon themselves. I hire people who do what they're told, not pick and choose among the ones they think are of value. Most employers tell you what the assignment is. The employees' job is to do it or they won't be around very long

I don't think I'd want my child (or myself) to be another cog in the wheel at your organization. Creativity and innovation should be encouraged, not stomped out by middling middle managers.

Refusing to do an assigned task is neither creative nor innovative.

Obviously it's not a good analogy, equating high school homework to work assigned in a job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We moved here from a state where our school system didn't allow homework to be included in the calculation of grades, and in addition, nightly homework was discouraged (homework was to be used for review before a big test, etc). My kids were in that school system until this school year. They all got good grades. We moved here with 2 of them in high school and one in middle school.

When we moved here, the homework (we are in FCPS) stunned my kids. SO much homework! the high schoolers were expected to do about 3-4 hours nightly, the middle schooler about 2-3. Insanity.

I made a policy early in the year (October) with my kids: IF they could maintain As and Bs and not get any Cs, I didn't care if they did homework or not.

All three kids carefully calculated their classes all year long, calculating exactly how much homework was worth and ensuring they kept their grades up. Two of them didn't do a lick of homework, (they did large projects, I am talking about nightly homework). One of them did the homework for one class they were struggling to maintain a B in.

We successfully got through the school year with all of them maintaining the As and Bs we expect and the system worked fine.

A few times throughout the year, I did get emails (they were kind of automated emails, not personal ones) from teachers letting me know homework wasn't being done. I didn't act upon them, because I was well aware homework wasn't being done.

My kids had a great year, embedded themselves into new schools at a tough age to move, joined sports teams, were active and happy all year and maintained good grades.

I now have had a conversation with one teacher who dragged me through the mud for my family's policy on this. She basically told me it was disrespectful to the teachers. I am stunned, because in my house, in fact, education is a top priority. our feeling is that teaching our kids to manage their own schoolwork and teaching them to advocate for themselves, maintain expected grades, and be responsible is paramount. So I was blown away. My kid got an "A" in this teachers class, and overall I guess my question is if my kid could do that then any homework he skipped was obviously unnecessary, for him. Homework is supposed to be repetition of the classroom work in order to help the kids learn it, right? So if my kid has demonstrated that they don't need it, what is the problem?

My kid is so happy, well adjusted, plays sports and manages to juggle his school and extracurricular stuff on his own...Im just baffled at being told that I was demonstrating poor parenting.

Interested in your thoughts. I may change this policy up next year if I am off base here. But it kills me to pull my kids into the house every night for that much homework time, for zero benefit. They could be outside playing baseball. Plenty of time in life ahead of them to spend their entire days working.....

This is what I don't get. How is 2-3 hours of homework "insanity?" I expect them to do at least that much, and if they don't I'd contact the teachers to find out why not. My Middle schooler wasn't even assigned any books to read in English class this year, thus not enough reading and writing.

[Anonymous]

I agree with OP. OP, read "permission to parent". Congrats on not buying into the hyper competitive rat race.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Congrats, they think rules don't apply to them. Good luck getting them to pay their taxes.

A's and B's may not be good enough to get into a good college. Of course if all you aspire to is somewhere like JMU, you should be o.k.,

Oh, can it.

low expectations, sub-par results. College acceptance is so competitive, but I have heard there is one for everybody; i.e., the right "fit" and all. I wonder which school is the right fit for kids who choose which homework they will and will not do? Maybe put this on your application essay - why I picked and chose which homework I would do.?

Also a good thing to discuss in your future job interviews: "I simply ignore assigned tasks that I'd rather not do."

Or "I was able to determine and focus on the tasks that were a priority for achieving the end goal and not waste time on things that added little value." I'd much rather hire someone who can thoughtfully evaluate our systems and processes to find things that are inefficient/ineffective than someone who just follows along because that's what they've been told. I want thinkers, not lemmings, on my team. If something doesn't make sense, I want my team members to challenge it. If I disagree, we can discuss it, but I hope the discussion is more than "do it because I said so." I didn't hear anything in OP's description where the teacher provided arguments in support of homework for the A student beyond "it's disrespectful of me to not do it." If any manager in my organization justified having an employee do something based solely on respect for authority vs. articulating how and why it mattered in achieving our goals, they would be gone.

no, things you decided were of little value. We don't want to hire people who take this decision upon themselves. I hire people who do what they're told, not pick and choose among the ones they think are of value. Most employers tell you what the assignment is. The employees' job is to do it or they won't be around very long

I don't think I'd want my child (or myself) to be another cog in the wheel at your organization. Creativity and innovation should be encouraged, not stomped out by middling middle managers.

Refusing to do an assigned task is neither creative nor innovative.

Obviously it's not a good analogy, equating high school homework to work assigned in a job.

It'snot that the tasks are identical, it's the attitude toward them. They can be dismissed because you want to.

The HS kid who can't get why he should pay past due library fines, will grow up to scoff at other debts he thinks he is too special to pay.

[Anonymous]

Teaching is more fun for the students and the teachers when the kids bring something to the table. The teachers can be more creative and teach a more nuanced and sophisticated lesson with prepared students who actually know stuff. Otherwise it is very hard to get past talk and chalk.

Indont like your policy. It suggests a passive attitude to learning, and a lack of respect for ones peers.

It is ok to skip homework sometimes. It is another thing to think your kid is above it.

[Anonymous]

where'd OP go?
so A's and B's sounds fine but if B's are in Math and English you need to work much harder.
Are they taking the most rigorous classes available?
Maybe she doesn't have high aspirations for college acceptances -- someone with this attitude may be fine with say U of Mary Washington.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Congrats, they think rules don't apply to them. Good luck getting them to pay their taxes.

A's and B's may not be good enough to get into a good college. Of course if all you aspire to is somewhere like JMU, you should be o.k.,

Oh, can it.

low expectations, sub-par results. College acceptance is so competitive, but I have heard there is one for everybody; i.e., the right "fit" and all. I wonder which school is the right fit for kids who choose which homework they will and will not do? Maybe put this on your application essay - why I picked and chose which homework I would do.?

Also a good thing to discuss in your future job interviews: "I simply ignore assigned tasks that I'd rather not do."

Or "I was able to determine and focus on the tasks that were a priority for achieving the end goal and not waste time on things that added little value." I'd much rather hire someone who can thoughtfully evaluate our systems and processes to find things that are inefficient/ineffective than someone who just follows along because that's what they've been told. I want thinkers, not lemmings, on my team. If something doesn't make sense, I want my team members to challenge it. If I disagree, we can discuss it, but I hope the discussion is more than "do it because I said so." I didn't hear anything in OP's description where the teacher provided arguments in support of homework for the A student beyond "it's disrespectful of me to not do it." If any manager in my organization justified having an employee do something based solely on respect for authority vs. articulating how and why it mattered in achieving our goals, they would be gone.

no, things you decided were of little value. We don't want to hire people who take this decision upon themselves. I hire people who do what they're told, not pick and choose among the ones they think are of value. Most employers tell you what the assignment is. The employees' job is to do it or they won't be around very long

I don't think I'd want my child (or myself) to be another cog in the wheel at your organization. Creativity and innovation should be encouraged, not stomped out by middling middle managers.

Refusing to do an assigned task is neither creative nor innovative.

It's not the homework itself. It's taking the time to determine what is the best use of the children's time. Everyone just assumes that they HAVE to do homework. But that's not the case. Good for OP for stepping back from the status quo and rethinking the situation in a new way.

It's the attitude of "there must be a better solution" that I like. Not the "I better do it because someone told me that I should".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:where'd OP go?
so A's and B's sounds fine but if B's are in Math and English you need to work much harder.
Are they taking the most rigorous classes available?
Maybe she doesn't have high aspirations for college acceptances -- someone with this attitude may be fine with say U of Mary Washington.

snob

There are very bright students at U of Mary Washington. Not everyone wants Ivy.

-Ivy grad x2

[Anonymous]

Problems are seen most clearly by fresh eyes. Her approach isn't the issue - it's that the environment demanded, I'm guessing a reasonable mother, to seek an extreme solution.

It's more evidence that FCPS should always be open to improvement, to do better in balancing the workload, and it's relevance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Congrats, they think rules don't apply to them. Good luck getting them to pay their taxes.

A's and B's may not be good enough to get into a good college. Of course if all you aspire to is somewhere like JMU, you should be o.k.,

Oh, can it.

low expectations, sub-par results. College acceptance is so competitive, but I have heard there is one for everybody; i.e., the right "fit" and all. I wonder which school is the right fit for kids who choose which homework they will and will not do? Maybe put this on your application essay - why I picked and chose which homework I would do.?

Also a good thing to discuss in your future job interviews: "I simply ignore assigned tasks that I'd rather not do."

Or "I was able to determine and focus on the tasks that were a priority for achieving the end goal and not waste time on things that added little value." I'd much rather hire someone who can thoughtfully evaluate our systems and processes to find things that are inefficient/ineffective than someone who just follows along because that's what they've been told. I want thinkers, not lemmings, on my team. If something doesn't make sense, I want my team members to challenge it. If I disagree, we can discuss it, but I hope the discussion is more than "do it because I said so." I didn't hear anything in OP's description where the teacher provided arguments in support of homework for the A student beyond "it's disrespectful of me to not do it." If any manager in my organization justified having an employee do something based solely on respect for authority vs. articulating how and why it mattered in achieving our goals, they would be gone.

no, things you decided were of little value. We don't want to hire people who take this decision upon themselves. I hire people who do what they're told, not pick and choose among the ones they think are of value. Most employers tell you what the assignment is. The employees' job is to do it or they won't be around very long

I don't think I'd want my child (or myself) to be another cog in the wheel at your organization. Creativity and innovation should be encouraged, not stomped out by middling middle managers.

Refusing to do an assigned task is neither creative nor innovative.

Obviously it's not a good analogy, equating high school homework to work assigned in a job.

It'snot that the tasks are identical, it's the attitude toward them. They can be dismissed because you want to.

The HS kid who can't get why he should pay past due library fines, will grow up to scoff at other debts he thinks he is too special to pay.

It was a calculated decision by the family. Not a student's "meh - I just don't feel it."

That kid will discover consequences of not paying fines/debts. And not relevant to this discussion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:where'd OP go?
so A's and B's sounds fine but if B's are in Math and English you need to work much harder.
Are they taking the most rigorous classes available?
Maybe she doesn't have high aspirations for college acceptances -- someone with this attitude may be fine with say U of Mary Washington.

snob

There are very bright students at U of Mary Washington. Not everyone wants Ivy.

-Ivy grad x2

big, big gap between U. Mary Washington and an "Ivy." The former has admission rate of 76%. Seems fine for students who chose not to do their assigned homework.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:where'd OP go?
so A's and B's sounds fine but if B's are in Math and English you need to work much harder.
Are they taking the most rigorous classes available?
Maybe she doesn't have high aspirations for college acceptances -- someone with this attitude may be fine with say U of Mary Washington.

snob

There are very bright students at U of Mary Washington. Not everyone wants Ivy.

-Ivy grad x2

big, big gap between U. Mary Washington and an "Ivy." The former has admission rate of 76%. Seems fine for students who chose not to do their assigned homework.

It's fine for many students.

[Anonymous]

At DC's middle school most homework is graded, and all assignments get at least 1 point for completion. Not doing it over the course of the semester that 1 point can really add up.
I guess it will depend on the teacher whether a student can get away with this. If it is just optional, then I guess I can see not doing it if the grades are otherwise acceptable.

[Anonymous]

"good enough" seems to be the OPs approach. A solid carreer in Government bureaucracy is the probable outcome. Not a good life lesson IMHO. "do your best" is the cub scout motto and a much better way to look at life if you want more than a 9-5 grind....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"good enough" seems to be the OPs approach. A solid carreer in Government bureaucracy is the probable outcome. Not a good life lesson IMHO. "do your best" is the cub scout motto and a much better way to look at life if you want more than a 9-5 grind....

You know, I have a solid career (I like to spell it with one "r") in Government bureaucracy. I'm happy, make a decent salary, get a lot of time off, and generally feel very content with my life. There are worse things that can happen than to make six figures and have limited stress.

As to the OP with the homework policy, if it works for you and your family I think that is fine. The only thing I'd say is that if the teachers are really pushing back, it may be the school doesn't fit your philosophy of school and life for your children. I'll be honest and say "Race to Nowhere" has really made me reevaluate how I handle my kids High School years and I feel very similar to OP. In addition to being a decent student, and a responsible person, I feel they need a chance to explore and be kids.