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Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers
When am i too old for more kids?
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Anonymous
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....If a 40-something year old parent dies early, you can bet she has left her son with a good inheritance or trust fund of some kind.
Oh...because that matters...more than having their parents around right?? Listen if you are over 40 and trying to conceive, then do what you will....we are all very happy that you lived your life, had fun, partied and everything else you wanted to do...but when it comes down to you not being able to get pregnant because the quality of your eggs has deteriorated....don't look at the 25 year old pregnant girl in your office and get jealous...you made that decision. |
Anonymous
Amen! And while we're at it, let's ask sperm donor kids if they would have liked a chance to know their fathers. Let's ask them if they would have preferred that their mothers consider their feelings before dooming them to fatherlessness for life. The birth of ANY child is cause for joy just as the suffering of any child -- especially when actively chosen by a selfish parent -- is cause for tears. |
Anonymous
I wonder what the statistics are concerning child abuse and poverty level? Are there more older women convicted of abuse or neglect? Are there more older women with children who are being supported by government programs? I'd welcome any information. And in terms of those children who are "fatherless," what do you think about lesbian couples raising children? Are these children in your "fatherless" category? I'll also say this much. When I was "young" and single, I did indeed enjoy life to the fullest. When I "aged" and was still single, I was NEVER jealous of the clueless 25 year old who was pregnant. Women with less education tend to marry and have children at younger ages. I am very thankful for my degrees and life experiences. Women with little education don't always make the best mothers. Again - I'd welcome statistics on how age of parents correlates with abuse and poverty. I'm gathering from your response that you are the product of a couple (male/female) who had children at a young age? Obviously, coming from this "happy household" hasn't made you a better person. So "Amen" all you want. Only those in the most ignorant category will be taking your views seriously. |
Anonymous
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This is not a contest, people! There is no victor in the 40-something moms vs. 20-something moms war. I'm always dismayed when conversations devolve into this same unnecessary debate. The women who make blanket statements that older moms are selfish are clearly making short-sighted generalizations. The correct response, however, isn't some variation on, "No, being older is BETTER. I have more money and I've actually LIVED. You poor uneducated immature young moms are doomed to divorce, anyway."
No one here is advocating high school girls getting pregnant (or 60-year-olds having babies, for that matter). Obviously 40-something is not necessarily too old for someone to have a healthy, happy, well-adjusted child. Likewise, plenty of mature, educated women get married and have children in their 20s and they may be just as happy, well-traveled, well-educated, and financially secure as the older moms. It's funny. I got married at 25 (after traveling, getting my JD, falling madly in love, and am still wild about my husband) and had my first child at almost 31. In my hometown, I had a baby later than most of my friends. In D.C., I feel like a spring chicken. It's all relative, and it's all FINE. I would never say that women who waited to get married and have children are somehow selfish... but neither would I say that they are somehow better. |
Anonymous
| I simply cannot comprehend the degree of ignorance on this board. This "selfish" argument could be extended to so many other areas - maybe people who are not white should not have children because there is more incidence of African American men in jail than whites; maybe women carrying multiples should be forced to abort because there is a greater chance of prematurity and the problems that come with that. Maybe all pregnant women should be forced into genetic testing and if there is any condition that could cause the child to suffer (allergies, asthma, whatever) they should not be allowed to have children. Maybe anyone who has a history of diabetes or heart disease in their family should not be allowed to have children since these things are hereditary. Maybe anybody who is not 100 percent perfect should not have children. This argument is ludicrous and we should stop feeding into the Nazi trolls. |
Anonymous
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I'll also say this much. When I was "young" and single, I did indeed enjoy life to the fullest. When I "aged" and was still single, I was NEVER jealous of the clueless 25 year old who was pregnant. Women with less education tend to marry and have children at younger ages. I am very thankful for my degrees and life experiences. Women with little education don't always make the best mothers. Again - I'd welcome statistics on how age of parents correlates with abuse and poverty.
Are you F'ing kidding me with this comment??? I was 21 when I graduated from college and I bet your old ass that I have a better paying job than you! Get off your high horse. I am very well educated. I think that you should stop being sooo sooo bitter b/c you have to blow the dust off of your vajayjay and beg a fertility doctor to try JUST ONE MORE TIME....because you spent too long being SELFISH and partying your FERTILE years away. |
Anonymous
mother to 2 children, no fertility issues in my 40s (easy pregnancies), 3 degrees, and currently on childcare leave (translates into no financial issues) So I really don't know what you're talking about. By the way, some better educated would watch her word choice. |
Anonymous
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I love being an older mom. I've traveled the world, have advanced degrees, excelled in my career, and now can afford to provide a lot of the things to my daughter that I never had growing up. My daughter goes to a great private school, we still travel internationally (which is an invaluable type of education for kids, IMO), and we don't have financial stress. I play softball and soccer with her, go cycling, and am as active as ever.
I wouldn't change a thing. |
Anonymous
Wow -- thank you for this first! As a Black woman I've never been called a "Nazi troll." Shockingly, we trolls don't eat children; we try to view things from their perspective. I didn't choose to be Black (not at all debilitating, by the way, in my experience) but I can choose to not use an anonymous sperm donor, cruelly cutting my child off from any possibility of knowing the father. Why are the defenders of mothers' "rights to choose" never sperm donor children themselves? |
Anonymous
The "most ignorant" obviously includes you, who have attributed many false inferences to me. I never implied that greater parental age correlates in any way with abuse and poverty. The suffering I refer to is the psychological torment of parentlessness. Anyone who does not know anything about his/her biological parent -- whether known parent is a lesbian or happily married person or single person who used an anonymous sperm/egg donor or even had a series of one-night stands that produced a pregnancy -- is parentless. My young parents (24 and 25) had advanced degrees and raised me well enough to not pretend that selfish choices have no impact. And yes, I too enjoy my advanced degrees, experiences living and working overseas, and good job. |
Anonymous
Yeah....look, my child's father is involved, but I'd pay him to go away. Nobody has a crystal ball, and it never works out exactly the way we think it will. ..now going back to ignoring this ridiculous thread. |
Anonymous
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Just can't predict/control the future. Can't always control when you have kids and you can't control when you'll die. I know two fathers in their early 30s who died suddenly of heart attacks. No warning of any problems.
(And yes, you can control whether you will use a sperm donor, but you can't control being a lesbian or having infertility problems). |
Anonymous
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If you have the stamina to read through this entire thread, the sense of humor to laugh away the horror that this venomous drivel would inspire in any rational person, and the greatness of heart to want to bring another human being into this world after seeing what this group of human beings is capable of, then you're not too old for more kids. Much joy to you.
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Anonymous
Hear, hear! |
Anonymous
Best post of the year! 
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