Does having kids really suck as bad as people say?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it sucks at all...it has been such an incredible experience to watch my DS learn, explore, grow...humans are incredible!

I also went into it with realistic expectations though. I knew that I would have countless nights of interrupted sleep while we taught DS to console himself and develop sleep skilss. I knew that he would get sick as he was introduced into new (germ filled) environments. I knew that he would ask questions incessantly as he began learning about the world. I knew that he would require more attention and time than any other thing in my life.

I did not enter into pregnancy, labor, or parenting expecting it to be easy...I expected (and welcomed) it to challenge me. I do not want an average life, nor do I want an average child. I want my entire family to be curious, passionate, and engaged. This requires a lot of hard work. Personally, I like hard work.

Best experience hands down.

I love this.

[Anonymous]

As I was reading this thread, my 6 year old came up and gave me the biggest hug possible, just because he loves me. So no, it doesn't suck for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just had a kid. She's 4 months old and the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me. That said it suck. Sucks big time. Being pregnant is horrible. Labor is beyond the worst thing ever. Lack of sleep, no freedom, no time. Taking a shower is an achievement. Going to the bathroom is a luxury. I didn't originally want kids and I should have stuck with that. But that said its an amazing often wonderful experience.

I could have written this post, except that my DS is 6 months. He is amazing, and I love him- but I now know why I said I did not want kids. I can and will be an awesome mom for this little guy, but I can imagine my life without being a Mom. For me, it is not all encompassing.

Your kids are way too young for you to have any perspective on this question. When my son was this age, I was miserable. At some point, they become little people and that's when any real payoff starts. You also get a lot of freedom back.

I'm the one with the 4 month old. You know what you will NEVER get the freedom you had Pre-kids back. Yeah I will get back more freedom than I have now, but real freedom doesn't hit until they're 18. And I think I have perspective. I know being a parent will be hard and there will be times of great joy, utter despair and everything in between. It's great seeing your kid grow as a person and being a part of making her who she is, and I truly love my daughter. But I would have been happy not having any kids at all. The OP asked for others people's truths and that's what I'm giving her. Who are you to say oh you don't know what you're talking about.

Seriously, you will laugh at this when your kid is 5-10-15. Your kid has not "grown as a person" yet. She's 4 months old. She is a living human yes but you have no idea what kind of person she is or will be. That aspect of who she is does not exist yet. She cannot make rational choices, form opinions, have distinct beliefs, or firm preferences. You are a parent. Not in question. You have not been one long enough to have a long-scope view of how it has been, whether it was worth it, how you could have done things differently. You obviously have every right to consider and answer the question but it's just sort of preposterous that you think you've got your perspective of "parenting" figured out when your only child is 4 months old.

[Anonymous]

Ugh, its not that she thinks she has 'the' perspecitve on parenting, its that she thinks she has HER perspective on HER life. And thats all it takes friends. And you know what... she may change her mind, or not. But YOU have nothing to do with it.
Just accept that right now, somewhere in the DC urbnan mom world there is a person who loves their kid but thinks its crazy hard. And accept that it may stay like that, AND that people who feel and think this way can still be great parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just had a kid. She's 4 months old and the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me. That said it suck. Sucks big time. Being pregnant is horrible. Labor is beyond the worst thing ever. Lack of sleep, no freedom, no time. Taking a shower is an achievement. Going to the bathroom is a luxury. I didn't originally want kids and I should have stuck with that. But that said its an amazing often wonderful experience.

I could have written this post, except that my DS is 6 months. He is amazing, and I love him- but I now know why I said I did not want kids. I can and will be an awesome mom for this little guy, but I can imagine my life without being a Mom. For me, it is not all encompassing.

Your kids are way too young for you to have any perspective on this question. When my son was this age, I was miserable. At some point, they become little people and that's when any real payoff starts. You also get a lot of freedom back.

I'm the one with the 4 month old. You know what you will NEVER get the freedom you had Pre-kids back. Yeah I will get back more freedom than I have now, but real freedom doesn't hit until they're 18. And I think I have perspective. I know being a parent will be hard and there will be times of great joy, utter despair and everything in between. It's great seeing your kid grow as a person and being a part of making her who she is, and I truly love my daughter. But I would have been happy not having any kids at all. The OP asked for others people's truths and that's what I'm giving her. Who are you to say oh you don't know what you're talking about.

Sorry, I didn't mean to offend or say you're not entitled to your opinion. It's just that when my son was 6 months, I was giving away his baby stuff to ensure I would never change my hand and have another baby. I was that certain that having kids wasn't for me. But I don't feel that way anymore, and now I wish I would have had the big-picture view and had another. So, it's hard for me to see someone with kids so young giving advice about whether to have or not have kids. I feel like it's clouded in a haze of sleep deprivation, and you're still adjusting to this whole new life.

[Anonymous]

I don't care if she likes it or hates it. That's not the point. The point is she has the attitude of someone who recently bought their house in a new neighborhood and saying "There's nothing great about home ownership and I'll probably never be happy here" because moving day sucked.

[Anonymous]

No OP, but some parents do!

[Anonymous]

I have an 8 month old, and having a child has been the shock of my life. So much harder than I could have possibly imagined, and nothing I read nor anything anyone said to me could really have prepared me for how hard it would be.

But it's also a hundred times easier at 8 months than it was at 2 or 3 or 4 months. I was miserable then. Now, I'm on an even keel *most* days, and I laugh a lot again. Now, my son smiles and laughs, and it melts my heart. I'm amazed seeing him grow and learn, and I feel like we have so much to look forward to together.

If you had asked me a few months ago, I would have told you that I was crazy for having had a child, and I couldn't imagine how people ever choose to have a second. Now, I alternate between thinking about when we might have a second, and thinking I'm effing crazy for having that thought. . I'm pretty sure I know where my thoughts will be in a few years...

[Anonymous]

This is a horrible thread. Parenting is not something you wing it at. There are many known methods that are documented and that really work. OP, it's as hard as you make it. To go into being a parent thinking you will just figure it out along the way, that is the hard way. Do some reading. This forum has some great threads on different parenting styles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a horrible thread. Parenting is not something you wing it at. There are many known methods that are documented and that really work. OP, it's as hard as you make it. To go into being a parent thinking you will just figure it out along the way, that is the hard way. Do some reading. This forum has some great threads on different parenting styles.

couldn't disagree with this bullshit logic more. winging it is just fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't care if she likes it or hates it. That's not the point. The point is she has the attitude of someone who recently bought their house in a new neighborhood and saying "There's nothing great about home ownership and I'll probably never be happy here" because moving day sucked.

Excellent!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would like to hear from parents of messed up druggies/prison inmates.

I worked for 3 years with prison inmates and one of the programs allowed mothers to keep their infants with them for the first few months while they breast fed.

I assure you, mothers in prison feel the exact same love, fear, exhaustion that you all do in regards to their newborns.

How is this germane to pp's comment?

How is it not?

Think the question was about parents of messed up druggies or prison inmate, not mothers in prison.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a horrible thread. Parenting is not something you wing it at. There are many known methods that are documented and that really work. OP, it's as hard as you make it. To go into being a parent thinking you will just figure it out along the way, that is the hard way. Do some reading. This forum has some great threads on different parenting styles.

couldn't disagree with this bullshit logic more. winging it is just fine.

Sure, sweetie. You keep telling yourself that...haha.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a horrible thread. Parenting is not something you wing it at. There are many known methods that are documented and that really work. OP, it's as hard as you make it. To go into being a parent thinking you will just figure it out along the way, that is the hard way. Do some reading. This forum has some great threads on different parenting styles.

Please subscribe me to your newsletter! I need to know the one weird trick that will make me parent correctly.

[Anonymous]

If I could take it back, I would not have any kids. I only have one. I honestly dislike parenting very much. I'm grateful for my child, love my child and spoil my child but if I could do it over again, I would grow old without children in my life.