Teachers - do you mind being called by your first name (by parents)?

[Anonymous]

Teacher here. Just because I want you (parent) to call me by my first name doesn't mean I want to go to out drinking with you. That would be very uncomfortable for all involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mr, Ms, Mrs, keeps it professional regardless of age.

This!

[Anonymous]

You know what's super annoying? When my child's teacher calls me "mom". My child is in third grade and I am NOT your mom!

[Anonymous]

For those teachers on this thread who insist that parents call you Mr. Or Miss/Mrs./Ms., this is one reason that parents generally have no respect for teachers. I was a Wall Street lawyer and former investment banker who left and became a teacher. I insisted that parents call me by my first name. I was older than most of them and wanted them to view me as a professional who was working with them to help their kids be the best that they could be. I didn't need to create an silly artificial boundary by insisting that the parents address me as Mrs. Smith. In the world of professionals most people wish to be addressed by their first names, even by their subordinates (and parents are definitely not the subordinates of teachers). Students should call teachers by their last name as it is a whole different relationship.

[Anonymous]

A silly artificial, I inserted silly after typing an artificial....

[Anonymous]

A teacher called me "mam" until I reminded her I have a name.

[Anonymous]

Even though DD's teacher suggested to be called by her first name, I kept calling her Mrs. Last name to set boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Assistant Principal/Teacher

I sign off on emails as First Name Last Name so parents know I am fine with them calling me by my first name. Most professionals go by their first name- I'd say other than doctors I can't think of anyone that people refer to by their last name. Judges?

[Anonymous]

I'm another lawyer-turned-teacher who prefers being called by my first name. Just treat me like almost any other professional peer in your life. Mrs. ________ sounds weird coming from another adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those teachers on this thread who insist that parents call you Mr. Or Miss/Mrs./Ms., this is one reason that parents generally have no respect for teachers. I was a Wall Street lawyer and former investment banker who left and became a teacher. I insisted that parents call me by my first name. I was older than most of them and wanted them to view me as a professional who was working with them to help their kids be the best that they could be. I didn't need to create an silly artificial boundary by insisting that the parents address me as Mrs. Smith. In the world of professionals most people wish to be addressed by their first names, even by their subordinates (and parents are definitely not the subordinates of teachers). Students should call teachers by their last name as it is a whole different relationship.

That is a bit hyperbolic.

When I taught, everyone called me by my last name. That was the culture where I taught. Now, when I email teachers, I start with the honorific and follow their lead. I read nothing into it. I certainly don't think this choice is related to the downfall of education.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a teacher, I am very uncomfortable when parents use my first name. I much prefer Ms. So-and-so. I will sign emails with my first and last name but always address parents as Ms., Mr., Dr....

Hi. I like your post because it works with how I communicate with teachers... Ms. Whatever until I am told to do otherwise. I agree. We are not peers.

[Anonymous]

In the real world, people go by first names so that's my default. If a teacher asks to be called Mr, Ms, Miss, Mrs, Dr, her highness, whatever, I'll comply. But if you're going to be an outlier, you need to tell me. I tolerate people that are wound too tight. It really doesn't matter to me.

I'm an MD, it's all first name except at the hospital where Dr is a function more so than a specific person. But if somebody knows me, Becca works well there too....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the real world, people go by first names so that's my default. If a teacher asks to be called Mr, Ms, Miss, Mrs, Dr, her highness, whatever, I'll comply. But if you're going to be an outlier, you need to tell me. I tolerate people that are wound too tight. It really doesn't matter to me.

I'm an MD, it's all first name except at the hospital where Dr is a function more so than a specific person. But if somebody knows me, Becca works well there too....

Different poster with a question for 'a' MD: So if your child's teacher e-mails you and the salutation is 'Dear Becca' that works for you? Or if you walk into your child's classroom and the teacher looks up and says 'Hi, Becca', is your response the same? This is okay with you? Just wondering because when my dad was hospitalized recently and the doctor walked in and called dad by his first name (this was the first time they had met) the doctor sure was surprised when dad called him Frank.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In the real world, people go by first names so that's my default. If a teacher asks to be called Mr, Ms, Miss, Mrs, Dr, her highness, whatever, I'll comply. But if you're going to be an outlier, you need to tell me. I tolerate people that are wound too tight. It really doesn't matter to me.

I'm an MD, it's all first name except at the hospital where Dr is a function more so than a specific person. But if somebody knows me, Becca works well there too....

Different poster with a question for 'a' MD: So if your child's teacher e-mails you and the salutation is 'Dear Becca' that works for you? Or if you walk into your child's classroom and the teacher looks up and says 'Hi, Becca', is your response the same? This is okay with you? Just wondering because when my dad was hospitalized recently and the doctor walked in and called dad by his first name (this was the first time they had met) the doctor sure was surprised when dad called him Frank.

Sure it's fine. If it was me I'd have introduced myself. Not sure why his doctor was surprised. Most of us have our name on our coat, and all of us have a badge with our names on it.

I do admit there are some elderly docs that are still pretty formal. They are rarely doing rounds though.

[Anonymous]

I don't like that our society in general seems to be moving more and more towards informality all the time. I don't like seeing people in pajamas at the grocery store. I don't like that so many people are clueless about basic etiquette, especially table manners, and I don't like the over-familiar tone of first-names in a school setting. I expect my kids to address all adults properly. Ms. Mrs. or Mr. I address their teachers the same. When I was teaching, parents called me Mrs. Smith. I never had a parent even ask. But I taught in the south where manners are still important. The kids also say "yes ma'am", "no sir", etc.

To me it's not about status. It's about necessary formality and professionalism.