Teachers - do you mind being called by your first name (by parents)?

[Anonymous]

This whole thing is quite simple: You address the teacher as Ms. ___ until she tells you otherwise. She should do the same with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I think it reflects a misplaced form of status anxiety. Some of those responding seem to believe that the use of Mr/Ms reaffirms the professional status of the person being addressed, but these days I think the opposite is true. With the exception of doctors, people whose professional status is beyond dispute tend to be called by their first names (your lawyer, your accountant, etc.), whereas those whose status is less clear or seen as less elevated tend to be addressed as Mr/Ms (your postal carrier, the person you deal with at the DMV, etc.).

Who, exactly, has the status anxiety here? Because I don't think it's the teachers who want to be called Mr./Ms. Lastname.

[Anonymous]

It's not about status. It is It is about not acting like you are a "pal".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not about status. It is It is about not acting like you are a "pal".

Uptight much?

Out in the real world, here in 2013, adults use one another's first names in conversation and don't typically use Mr./Mrs./Miss/Ms. when we introduce ourselves to people.

Sorry, but you (not the poster I'm quoting, but generic teacher "you") don't get to have me pretend that you're MY teacher. You're my child's teacher, and while I would never refer to you as "Joy" in front of my child, I'm not going to call you Miss Buckethead when we're having a private conversation.

My perspective may be influenced based on circumstance. My child has an IEP.

When parents sit at a table with multiple (in my case, six) school personnel, all of whom think (and have repeatedly told us) that we don't understand our child's abilities and that we don't have exposure to "typical" children of this age, it is frustrating beyond belief. We are already outnumbered, and now you think we are going to address you as though we are your students, and put ourselves at yet another psychological disadvantage?

I think not.

[Anonymous]

It's only polite to use the title until you are told otherwise. Period. Good manners.

[Anonymous]

The way I see it is that I don't call anyone by Mr./Ms unless I am writing a formal letter. I call my boss, my boss's boss and their boss by their first name. That doesn't mean I don't respect them. Why should I address my child's teacher like that?

[Anonymous]

I am a teacher. I go by my first name, to students too. I love it. I wish I could drop the "Ms"

[Anonymous]

I am a teacher. I expect to be addressed by my name, Ms. Xxxx. I will never address you by your first name and you should not address me by my first name because I have never asked you to address me that informally. If you address me by my first name, I will correct you and tell you to call me Ms. Xxxx.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not about status. It is It is about not acting like you are a "pal".

Uptight much?

Out in the real world, here in 2013, adults use one another's first names in conversation and don't typically use Mr./Mrs./Miss/Ms. when we introduce ourselves to people.

Sorry, but you (not the poster I'm quoting, but generic teacher "you") don't get to have me pretend that you're MY teacher. You're my child's teacher, and while I would never refer to you as "Joy" in front of my child, I'm not going to call you Miss Buckethead when we're having a private conversation.

My perspective may be influenced based on circumstance. My child has an IEP.

When parents sit at a table with multiple (in my case, six) school personnel, all of whom think (and have repeatedly told us) that we don't understand our child's abilities and that we don't have exposure to "typical" children of this age, it is frustrating beyond belief. We are already outnumbered, and now you think we are going to address you as though we are your students, and put ourselves at yet another psychological disadvantage?

I think not.

My child has an IEP also. I use Mr. Mrs. at school and I expect them to call me Ms. LastName. It's like the French vous/toi and Spanish usted/tu, it puts a formal barrier between two people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't mind too much but I would hate for your child to call me by my first name and I hear they do that at some schools.

Hate? Are you 80? Jesus.

[Anonymous]

I'm a teacher. I really don't care what the kids call me. I'd rather you (parent) called me by my first name, although I understand if that makes you feel uncomfortable. I always sign my emails using only my first name, to let you know what I prefer. However, there are much bigger fish to fry than this name business. Please read with your child every night; that's much more important to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not your friend, Dharma. I am your daughter's teacher. Nor am I your peer.

We're
not
peers

You're right. But I was trying to give you the benefit of the doubt.

[Anonymous]

I'm a school parent and I don't like the casual environment encouraged. I wish the other Moms would not try to be the teacher's friend. It's unprofessional. I want to view my child's teacher as a professional.

[Anonymous]

Huh ... it never occurred to me to call my kids teachers anything other than their first name and it would never occurr to me to be offended if one called me by my first name. I remember my first job out of college when I realized I had to call my boss by his first name and not mr so and so ...
But yeah we are all adults here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a school parent and I don't like the casual environment encouraged. I wish the other Moms would not try to be the teacher's friend. It's unprofessional. I want to view my child's teacher as a professional.

I call everyone at my law firm by their first names and I definitely view the managing partner as a professional despite calling him Dave.