Are we too wealthy for financial aid for 3 kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Now that the kids are in school she has the same complaint that she just couldn't go back to work because she wouldn't make enough. She doesn't care about private school but wants more money for vacations and house remodeling.

From what I hear, many women are in the same position. I take it there are other issues between you and your SIL. To her her job was a career even though you call it playing solitaire at work.
In a perfect world day care would not be so expensive and women of all income levels could consider working if that was what they wanted to do.
And in some countries day care is subsidised for everyone and the women have that option. Some even choose to let the older child attend day care when they are home with newborn baby. That is a whole 'nother issue.

[Anonymous]

I'm the OP. Thanks to those of you who offered thoughtful, reasoned responses to my question. They have helped clarify my choices. FWIW, I have a chronically ill child, who will be able to attend school, but whose health requires regular vigilance, so it's best for my family that I stay at home.

[Anonymous]

Not to resurrect this post---but what kind of financial situation does qualify for financial aid these days? What do the finances of financial aid families look like? Are they families with two parents working who don't make over a certain income level? Are they those families who do not own a home and have high debt? Is there some standard equation or does it vary greatly by school? How is "need" defined?

I hope this post will generate informative, thoughtful posts on the subject of financial aid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not to resurrect this post

But that's exactly what you did. You will get much better feedback if you just start a new post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

After all, the decision to be a SAHM is a luxury, in a way...something many families can't afford

I am a SAHM because it would be more expensive for our family if I worked and we hired help......I did not have a high paying job before. And from what I have learned on this board - in this city - nannies need to make almost 50K or more per year. It's cheaper for me to be home.

How refreshing to finally see some honesty around here. And think how much better off your children are to have a full-time parent.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, the children have a fulltime parent, but the mother has to sacrifice her life to do it.
To be honest, man must also pay for cost of child care, not right that the woman cannot work because she does not make enough to pay for day care

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

After all, the decision to be a SAHM is a luxury, in a way...something many families can't afford

I am a SAHM because it would be more expensive for our family if I worked and we hired help......I did not have a high paying job before. And from what I have learned on this board - in this city - nannies need to make almost 50K or more per year. It's cheaper for me to be home.

the average 2 parent-working family doesn't have a nanny
the kids go to daycare, or coop care, or stay with grandma...
If you became single again, for any reason, wouldn't you find a way to go back to work?

-Took the words right out of my mouth. I've been thinking the same thing about the supposed need for a "nanny". Why does everyone think they need a nanny? There are quality full day preschools with aftercare or plain daycares with a preschool program. Save you a bundle. Did this with mine and it was good for her, I believe. BTW, I'm a single parent with 40K student debt, make 75K, rent and drive a 9 year old car. I do get FA and plenty of it.

[Anonymous]

Can't you sell your $1m house, live in a more modest one and invest your rest in your children's education?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a SAHM, we live in a $1m house, and DH makes $150,000. We have no mortgage. We also have three kids we'd like to send to private school in DC. Are we too wealthy to qualify for financial aid at DC private schools? We can't possibly pay $90,000 a year on our income to put three kids in private DC schools. If I went back to work, all my income would to go tuition and nannies. So, is that my choice -- go back to work, or move to the suburbs? (Using the equity in our house to pay tuition is not an option.)

Has anyone in a similar financial situation received financial aid from any independent schools? Thanks for your responses.

Can't you sell your $1m house, live in a more modest one and invest the rest of your money in your children's education?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a SAHM, we live in a $1m house, and DH makes $150,000. We have no mortgage. We also have three kids we'd like to send to private school in DC. Are we too wealthy to qualify for financial aid at DC private schools? We can't possibly pay $90,000 a year on our income to put three kids in private DC schools. If I went back to work, all my income would to go tuition and nannies. So, is that my choice -- go back to work, or move to the suburbs? (Using the equity in our house to pay tuition is not an option.)

Has anyone in a similar financial situation received financial aid from any independent schools? Thanks for your responses.

I posted a similar query awhile back. The short answer is yes, you are too wealthy to qualify for financial aid. They would expect you to go back to work--I was in the same boat--my salary would all go to tuition and childcare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can't you sell your $1m house, live in a more modest one and invest your rest in your children's education?

Unfortunately, many people do not realize, is that some who do not have a home, are paying mortgage sized tuition for their kids. If they paid that on a house, at least they could live in that house after 12 years is complete.
These schools are not for everybody, but that does not mean your kid will not do well if they do not go that school

[Anonymous]

I am relatively new to this forum and am saddened by the mean-spiritedness of so many of the responses on this thread. To the OP, I'm pretty sure you would find the financial aid approach to SAHMs and larger families more congenial at Catholic schools, if you are willing to go that route. There are some very large families at our Catholic independent with SAHMS and kids with special needs, and I feel pretty confident they are getting significant financial help. You would also find a community of parents who were not resentful of your choice but supportive of it, which would matter not only to your personal happiness, but also to the kind of children you hope to raise, because the parents shape the attitudes of the children. This is not to say that I think you would qualify for financial aid at our school or any other school; it is just that you would not find the hostility you have attracted here. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

After all, the decision to be a SAHM is a luxury, in a way...something many families can't afford

I am a SAHM because it would be more expensive for our family if I worked and we hired help......I did not have a high paying job before. And from what I have learned on this board - in this city - nannies need to make almost 50K or more per year. It's cheaper for me to be home.

How refreshing to finally see some honesty around here. And think how much better off your children are to have a full-time parent.

because those of us who work while our children are at school FT AREN'T parents

Apparently, the "title" is removed once you take on a job.

[Anonymous]

Excellent point.