Honestly: is 41 too old to have a baby?

[Anonymous]

41 is not too old IMO. I have friends and relatives who had children in their early 40s and mid 40s and are now over 50, and just sooooo happy to be parents and enjoying it. They married in their late 30s or early 40s and had children years later. One has a teen and one has two preschoolers, another has an 8yo and they have no trouble keeping up with them. In the DC area there are many 'older' parents. Now, I had my children in my mid 20s and they are now over 21, but I'd be perfectly capable of running around after a little one still even at my ripe old age of late 40s, lol. I'm not having any more now, but would be thrilled to have a little one even at this age

[Anonymous]

No matter how many times posters say "Wow! Great to have a baby after 40!!!" it does not change the fact that very few women make that choice, numerically speaking. There must be a reason for that. Perhaps they already have children and know that the teen years are hard and expensive? Perhaps they are saving for college? Of course, if your kids are not going to college that is a different story. Or if you are looking for someone to take care of you in old age...Or you have no interests except kids...Or you have a trust fund for you SN kids lifetime? Or getting older will never happen to you...a common theme.

[Anonymous]

I would be *thrilled* if *you* had a baby after 41.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:It's one thing to have a child at 41 and quite another dealing with that same child at 50+. Sounds hellish.

wow hellish? I had my daughter at 39 and I love her to peices and would change nothing.

I'm speaking for me, not you.

Actually you are giving your opinion to OP. And its pretty negative.

Yes, *my* opinion. Just because it differs from yours doesn't make it bad. Just different.

[Anonymous]

I am curious PP who parents were older -- do you have kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:It's one thing to have a child at 41 and quite another dealing with that same child at 50+. Sounds hellish.

You know the child ages as well, right? There's nothing all that hard about having a 10 yr old when you're 50 or a 20 yr old when you're 60. Unless you don't want to, then don't, of course.

One woman's hell is another's heaven. I'm in heaven.

Good for y'all, but when I'm 50+ I want my days of dealing with teenhood well behind me and look forward to being in a place where it's just about me and DH and spending time together. Different strokes, I guess.

Yup! And yours sounds pretty boring.

Sounds boring? Really? I think it sounds great. I'll be able to vacation with just hubby and spend well-earned alone time with him. I'll hopefully watch my children marry and have children. I'll babysit and they'll hopefully take family vacations with us.

For me, 50+ will be all about taking things at a slower more leisurely pace, not shuttling kids to sports practices and school events. I would, however, love attending these and/or doing these things for any grandchildren.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be *thrilled* if *you* had a baby after 41.

+1 LOL me too so long as all my kids are in full day school when I'm 41.

[Anonymous]

"For me, 50+ will be all about taking things at a slower more leisurely pace, not shuttling kids to sports practices and school events. I would, however, love attending these and/or doing these things for any grandchildren. "

Did you spend your 20s raising kids? I didn't, I had my first child when I was 31. I had plenty of vacations and time alone with DH before we had kids. My youngest child will be at home until I'm 55, and I'm very happy to be shuttling him/them to practices and events in the first half of my 50s.

[Anonymous]

No, it's not too old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's one thing to have a child at 41 and quite another dealing with that same child at 50+. Sounds hellish.

You know the child ages as well, right? There's nothing all that hard about having a 10 yr old when you're 50 or a 20 yr old when you're 60. Unless you don't want to, then don't, of course.

One woman's hell is another's heaven. I'm in heaven.

Good for y'all, but when I'm 50+ I want my days of dealing with teenhood well behind me and look forward to being in a place where it's just about me and DH and spending time together. Different strokes, I guess.

Yup! And yours sounds pretty boring.

Sounds boring? Really? I think it sounds great. I'll be able to vacation with just hubby and spend well-earned alone time with him. I'll hopefully watch my children marry and have children. I'll babysit and they'll hopefully take family vacations with us.

For me, 50+ will be all about taking things at a slower more leisurely pace, not shuttling kids to sports practices and school events. I would, however, love attending these and/or doing these things for any grandchildren.

See, some of us had our 20s when we were in our 20s. If you missed being a carefree 20-something in your 20s, it's all good, you can try to fill that in when you are in your 50s. For others, though, it seems entirely reasonable to be raising kids in our 50s, because we've sown our oats and enjoy having kids around now.

[Anonymous]

Everyone has their own opinion and really - no one is wrong. If someone is capable and interested in having a baby at 41, knows the risks, can do math (ie figure out how old they will be when their child is in college) - then go for it.

[Anonymous]

The rate for Downs is really big -- do you want a downs baby op or would you be ok with an abortion?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's one thing to have a child at 41 and quite another dealing with that same child at 50+. Sounds hellish.

You know the child ages as well, right? There's nothing all that hard about having a 10 yr old when you're 50 or a 20 yr old when you're 60. Unless you don't want to, then don't, of course.

One woman's hell is another's heaven. I'm in heaven.

Good for y'all, but when I'm 50+ I want my days of dealing with teenhood well behind me and look forward to being in a place where it's just about me and DH and spending time together. Different strokes, I guess.

Yup! And yours sounds pretty boring.

Sounds boring? Really? I think it sounds great. I'll be able to vacation with just hubby and spend well-earned alone time with him. I'll hopefully watch my children marry and have children. I'll babysit and they'll hopefully take family vacations with us.

For me, 50+ will be all about taking things at a slower more leisurely pace, not shuttling kids to sports practices and school events. I would, however, love attending these and/or doing these things for any grandchildren.

Nothing says 'fun' like two geezers trying to find a common topic, which they hadn't done since dating for two months before they started their family. I don't care to be an empty nester, "take things at slower pace" (I also don't want to retire, like, ever) and I don't want to take care of any grandkids, should I live to see any. Your way works for you, I guess, but it's crazy how you assume that the rest of us also would prefer to have it your way.

Speaking for myself - no, I would not and I know plenty of others (though I minority) that would not either. My parents were older parents (and so were their parents!), I loved my life with them (and they did theirs) and now I am an older parent, too. It works for us.

[Anonymous]

It's too old from the child's perspective, that's for sure. Just get some cats or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No matter how many times posters say "Wow! Great to have a baby after 40!!!" it does not change the fact that very few women make that choice, numerically speaking. There must be a reason for that. Perhaps they already have children and know that the teen years are hard and expensive? Perhaps they are saving for college? Of course, if your kids are not going to college that is a different story. Or if you are looking for someone to take care of you in old age...Or you have no interests except kids...Or you have a trust fund for you SN kids lifetime? Or getting older will never happen to you...a common theme.

Very few make that decision because they know the difficulties of conceiving later in life. Duh. I think most women who have babies in they're 40's (such as myself) do so because the stars just did not align earlier.