Honestly: is 41 too old to have a baby?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The rate for Downs is really big -- do you want a downs baby op or would you be ok with an abortion?

The chance is quite small. learn the facts first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"For me, 50+ will be all about taking things at a slower more leisurely pace, not shuttling kids to sports practices and school events. I would, however, love attending these and/or doing these things for any grandchildren. "

Did you spend your 20s raising kids? I didn't, I had my first child when I was 31. I had plenty of vacations and time alone with DH before we had kids. My youngest child will be at home until I'm 55, and I'm very happy to be shuttling him/them to practices and events in the first half of my 50s.

+100000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:It's one thing to have a child at 41 and quite another dealing with that same child at 50+. Sounds hellish.

You know the child ages as well, right? There's nothing all that hard about having a 10 yr old when you're 50 or a 20 yr old when you're 60. Unless you don't want to, then don't, of course.

One woman's hell is another's heaven. I'm in heaven.

Good for y'all, but when I'm 50+ I want my days of dealing with teenhood well behind me and look forward to being in a place where it's just about me and DH and spending time together. Different strokes, I guess.

Yup! And yours sounds pretty boring.

Sounds boring? Really? I think it sounds great. I'll be able to vacation with just hubby and spend well-earned alone time with him. I'll hopefully watch my children marry and have children. I'll babysit and they'll hopefully take family vacations with us.

For me, 50+ will be all about taking things at a slower more leisurely pace, not shuttling kids to sports practices and school events. I would, however, love attending these and/or doing these things for any grandchildren.

See, some of us had our 20s when we were in our 20s. If you missed being a carefree 20-something in your 20s, it's all good, you can try to fill that in when you are in your 50s. For others, though, it seems entirely reasonable to be raising kids in our 50s, because we've sown our oats and enjoy having kids around now.

exactly! PP apparently never had a life and cant wait to kick her kids out of her house. Pretty sad!

[Anonymous]

I'm not looking forward to retirement because, like a PP said, I've done it all before hand. I did all my running around and traveling the world and dating before I had kids. I now look very forward to having my young kids and one on the way. I love to work, I love having a family and I get a terrible sense of dread thinking about "retiring". Nothing worse in my mind than loafing around with a bunch of old fogies when I could be taking my kids snowboarding or to lacrosse games.

[Anonymous]

I'm 50 and I shudder to think what we'd be doing without our 8 yr old. In our 30's and early 40's, we were so focused on careers and getting out of debt and building some savings. Now we're just really enjoying life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not looking forward to retirement because, like a PP said, I've done it all before hand. I did all my running around and traveling the world and dating before I had kids. I now look very forward to having my young kids and one on the way. I love to work, I love having a family and I get a terrible sense of dread thinking about "retiring". Nothing worse in my mind than loafing around with a bunch of old fogies when I could be taking my kids snowboarding or to lacrosse games.

+1

[Anonymous]

+2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"For me, 50+ will be all about taking things at a slower more leisurely pace, not shuttling kids to sports practices and school events. I would, however, love attending these and/or doing these things for any grandchildren. "

Did you spend your 20s raising kids? I didn't, I had my first child when I was 31. I had plenty of vacations and time alone with DH before we had kids. My youngest child will be at home until I'm 55, and I'm very happy to be shuttling him/them to practices and events in the first half of my 50s.

Yes, I did, but you're wrong if you assume I didn't "live". I have an incredibly supportive family closeby and my parents and siblings have always been available when DH and I wanted to travel alone. I finished college. We had good careers. I was never interested in living wild and crazy in my 20s and while I had a brief spell of bar hopping and enjoy being single, getting drunk and having one-night stands was never my thing. I guess that's why so many Moms post here about longing for their old single days and generally not being happy that "this is now my life".

I enjoy the benefits of having children in my 20's and look forward to nurturing a relationship with them in adulthood as well. I have no longing to go wild in my 40's (I'll be an empty nester at 45). I just look forward to ushering my children into the world and reaping the benefits of doing things at my pace and without a thought to what my minor children need.

Living in your 20s can definitely be fun (I've experienced it) and I look forward to a different kind of adult fun with my DH when I'm 45.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not looking forward to retirement because, like a PP said, I've done it all before hand. I did all my running around and traveling the world and dating before I had kids. I now look very forward to having my young kids and one on the way. I love to work, I love having a family and I get a terrible sense of dread thinking about "retiring". Nothing worse in my mind than loafing around with a bunch of old fogies when I could be taking my kids snowboarding or to lacrosse games.

Yes, but you'll be the old fogey *at* the lacrosse game. Same fogey-hood, different environment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's one thing to have a child at 41 and quite another dealing with that same child at 50+. Sounds hellish.

You know the child ages as well, right? There's nothing all that hard about having a 10 yr old when you're 50 or a 20 yr old when you're 60. Unless you don't want to, then don't, of course.

One woman's hell is another's heaven. I'm in heaven.

Good for y'all, but when I'm 50+ I want my days of dealing with teenhood well behind me and look forward to being in a place where it's just about me and DH and spending time together. Different strokes, I guess.

Yup! And yours sounds pretty boring.

Sounds boring? Really? I think it sounds great. I'll be able to vacation with just hubby and spend well-earned alone time with him. I'll hopefully watch my children marry and have children. I'll babysit and they'll hopefully take family vacations with us.

For me, 50+ will be all about taking things at a slower more leisurely pace, not shuttling kids to sports practices and school events. I would, however, love attending these and/or doing these things for any grandchildren.

See, some of us had our 20s when we were in our 20s. If you missed being a carefree 20-something in your 20s, it's all good, you can try to fill that in when you are in your 50s. For others, though, it seems entirely reasonable to be raising kids in our 50s, because we've sown our oats and enjoy having kids around now.

Actually, I'll be 45, so not exactly, old right? I had fun in my 20s (which was admittedly sophomoric fun) and look forward to having fun in my 40's as well. It doesn't have to be an either/or thing. Not everyone is wild and irresponsible in their 20's. Family is very important to me and I pray that I continue to have good health and get to play an active role in the lives of my grandchildren.

[Anonymous]

OP,

Read this thread: http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/281094.page

Way more realistic outlook for older Moms. It's not all sunshine. How you feel now and how you'll feel 10 years down the line can be a big difference (which was my original point).

[Anonymous]

Op I just had a baby at 41 and love it. Don't care if I am older because the be honest, many of those 30 something peers i see in my mommy groups (who think they are so "young") are more stressed out and look more haggard and old than I do. So, as long as you enjoy it, can handle the stresses maturely, and look good, piece of cake!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"For me, 50+ will be all about taking things at a slower more leisurely pace, not shuttling kids to sports practices and school events. I would, however, love attending these and/or doing these things for any grandchildren. "

Did you spend your 20s raising kids? I didn't, I had my first child when I was 31. I had plenty of vacations and time alone with DH before we had kids. My youngest child will be at home until I'm 55, and I'm very happy to be shuttling him/them to practices and events in the first half of my 50s.

Yes, I did, but you're wrong if you assume I didn't "live". I have an incredibly supportive family closeby and my parents and siblings have always been available when DH and I wanted to travel alone. I finished college. We had good careers. I was never interested in living wild and crazy in my 20s and while I had a brief spell of bar hopping and enjoy being single, getting drunk and having one-night stands was never my thing. I guess that's why so many Moms post here about longing for their old single days and generally not being happy that "this is now my life".

I enjoy the benefits of having children in my 20's and look forward to nurturing a relationship with them in adulthood as well. I have no longing to go wild in my 40's (I'll be an empty nester at 45). I just look forward to ushering my children into the world and reaping the benefits of doing things at my pace and without a thought to what my minor children need.

Living in your 20s can definitely be fun (I've experienced it) and I look forward to a different kind of adult fun with my DH when I'm 45.

Closeby. Ha. Is that kind of like nearby?

Are you sure you finished college? Maybe just barely?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"For me, 50+ will be all about taking things at a slower more leisurely pace, not shuttling kids to sports practices and school events. I would, however, love attending these and/or doing these things for any grandchildren. "

Did you spend your 20s raising kids? I didn't, I had my first child when I was 31. I had plenty of vacations and time alone with DH before we had kids. My youngest child will be at home until I'm 55, and I'm very happy to be shuttling him/them to practices and events in the first half of my 50s.

Yes, I did, but you're wrong if you assume I didn't "live". I have an incredibly supportive family closeby and my parents and siblings have always been available when DH and I wanted to travel alone. I finished college. We had good careers. I was never interested in living wild and crazy in my 20s and while I had a brief spell of bar hopping and enjoy being single, getting drunk and having one-night stands was never my thing. I guess that's why so many Moms post here about longing for their old single days and generally not being happy that "this is now my life".

I enjoy the benefits of having children in my 20's and look forward to nurturing a relationship with them in adulthood as well. I have no longing to go wild in my 40's (I'll be an empty nester at 45). I just look forward to ushering my children into the world and reaping the benefits of doing things at my pace and without a thought to what my minor children need.

Living in your 20s can definitely be fun (I've experienced it) and I look forward to a different kind of adult fun with my DH when I'm 45.

Closeby. Ha. Is that kind of like nearby?

Are you sure you finished college? Maybe just barely?

Is that the best you can do? Have you never heard of the expression "close-by"? Wow...I wonder why some older women act so immature? I'm guessing insecurity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"For me, 50+ will be all about taking things at a slower more leisurely pace, not shuttling kids to sports practices and school events. I would, however, love attending these and/or doing these things for any grandchildren. "

Did you spend your 20s raising kids? I didn't, I had my first child when I was 31. I had plenty of vacations and time alone with DH before we had kids. My youngest child will be at home until I'm 55, and I'm very happy to be shuttling him/them to practices and events in the first half of my 50s.

Yes, I did, but you're wrong if you assume I didn't "live". I have an incredibly supportive family closeby and my parents and siblings have always been available when DH and I wanted to travel alone. I finished college. We had good careers. I was never interested in living wild and crazy in my 20s and while I had a brief spell of bar hopping and enjoy being single, getting drunk and having one-night stands was never my thing. I guess that's why so many Moms post here about longing for their old single days and generally not being happy that "this is now my life".

I enjoy the benefits of having children in my 20's and look forward to nurturing a relationship with them in adulthood as well. I have no longing to go wild in my 40's (I'll be an empty nester at 45). I just look forward to ushering my children into the world and reaping the benefits of doing things at my pace and without a thought to what my minor children need.

Living in your 20s can definitely be fun (I've experienced it) and I look forward to a different kind of adult fun with my DH when I'm 45.

wait - you are 45 and you talk about your career in the past tense?