Why do White People seem so happy most of the time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone care to explain (or attempt to explain) the pervasiveness of low self-esteem in white culture?

I'm not going to goole them, you can look them up yourself, but there have been studies that say the high self-esteem among young black men is not healthy but delusional. These studies looked at young men who didn't work hard and didn't graduate from high school yet think they are terrific, and not because of their charity work. What you want in healthy self-esteem, not high self-esteem.

I'm not convinced that the white population has a self esteem problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone care to explain (or attempt to explain) the pervasiveness of low self-esteem in white culture?

Just talking out of my ass here, but I wonder if it's because we were told that we could do anything, if we just worked hard enough. Therefore, any failure is due to our own shortcomings. And there are SO many ways to fail. Didn't get the grade, didn't get the college admission, didn't get the job, didn't get the promotion, didn't get the storybook marriage, didn't get the girlish figure back, didn't get the kid into the ideal school... I look at all the ways I wish my life were different, and for most of them, I can point to something I screwed up to create the current situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, can you please describe specific attitudes and behaviors that you have observed, that made you ask the initial question? And how do they differ in whites and blacks, given your blended heritage and experience?

OP Here. Regarding the specific attitudes and behaviors...this is a very difficult question for me to answer. I am having a hard time putting "it" into words because "it" is in most cases an intangible "vibe" that is given off.

There is one recent example that comes to mind. This example deals with a white person's response to a situation as opposed to a black person's response to a situation...

I was on the Metro, near the end of rush hour, a few weeks back and there was a young professional black lady in her late 20's early 30's sitting in a seat near me. It looked as though she was going home from work. A white guy got on the train with a bike and stood in front of the lady and had his bike angled so that his front wheel was in between her legs and every time the train stopped or he moved his bike it kept bumping into the lady's legs.

The first couple of times the lady was bumped by the wheel the lady just moved the wheel off of her and angled the wheel in another direction so that it would stop touching her but every time the guy kept angling the steering wheel back to the original angle pointing to inbetween the womans legs.

Finally, the woman got tired of the bike touching her so she asked the guy with the bike (not in the nicest tone of voice) if he could move his bike out of the way and he told her to calm down. She went off on him and said that she would not calm down and that she deserved to be able to sit on the train without his dirty bike wheel bumping into her at every stop. She said that if he did it again she was going to kick his bike.

A white person sitting in the seat across from her got up and offered to switch seats and said that its really not that big of a deal and that he would happily sit in her seat closer to the bike. There was another white man who was just about to get off to exit the train and just as he was leaving he turned to the guy with the bike and said 'nice bike man.' I happened to get off the train with the black lady and I saw this guy come up to her and he basically said in so many words 'it's not that serious look at what you are wearing anyways its not like you're all dressed up.'

From this scenario the vibe I got was that the other white men on the train that were close to the epicenter of the issue and who witnessed what happened seemed to side with the white biker over the black lady and acted like it was no big deal that the guys bike wheel was bumping into her at every stop much less invading her personal space by angling the bike wheel between her legs. Maybe this could be crossing into territory or sexism? Not sure, but the other white people around just didnt seem to think that it was that big a deal and didnt get upset about it but just dismissed it.

Thank you for the example, it helps me understand where you're coming from. I can view this as an example of a) rude behavior by a biker, b) public overreaction by a sitting person. I wonder, what if the sitting woman had simply asked the biker upfront, after the first incident, to be more careful with his bike, in a smiling/ laughing way? I suspect the biker would have complied, and that he would have elicited no support among other passengers had he ignored her request. Now, given your initial post is framed in terms of race, do you mean that most AA people would have reacted in the same way as the sitting (AA) lady did?

[Anonymous]

I think there are a few things to take into account.

The bike wheel was obviously dirty. Who knows where the biker had been riding. The lady kept moving the wheel and the guy kept putting it back touching her. Personal space violation should not be tolerated.

I was always told that if your clothes are dirty, people will think you are dirty and disrespect you. Maybe she was concerned about this. There was a post a back in GP about how minority children are viewed differently when dressed down or having dirt on their clothes than white children http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/192529.page .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone care to explain (or attempt to explain) the pervasiveness of low self-esteem in white culture?

I'm not going to goole them, you can look them up yourself, but there have been studies that say the high self-esteem among young black men is not healthy but delusional. These studies looked at young men who didn't work hard and didn't graduate from high school yet think they are terrific, and not because of their charity work. What you want in healthy self-esteem, not high self-esteem.

I'm not convinced that the white population has a self esteem problem.

Hm. Links to studies and polls about low self-esteem among whites have been listed in this thread.

You mention studies but don't provide any evidence. I suppose I could also speak about a study that I'll leave it up to you to Googlr- the studies about Malaysian pigs who can speak Farsi.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think there are a few things to take into account.

The bike wheel was obviously dirty. Who knows where the biker had been riding. The lady kept moving the wheel and the guy kept putting it back touching her. Personal space violation should not be tolerated.

I was always told that if your clothes are dirty, people will think you are dirty and disrespect you. Maybe she was concerned about this. There was a post a back in GP about how minority children are viewed differently when dressed down or having dirt on their clothes than white children http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/192529.page .

We can all agree that what he did was rude and gross. But it's still not a big deal until you throw the feeling of being disrespected into the mix. Maybe she was being disrespected and he wouldn't have done it to a white woman but who knows? She didn't know that and she overreacted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there are a few things to take into account.

The bike wheel was obviously dirty. Who knows where the biker had been riding. The lady kept moving the wheel and the guy kept putting it back touching her. Personal space violation should not be tolerated.

I was always told that if your clothes are dirty, people will think you are dirty and disrespect you. Maybe she was concerned about this. There was a post a back in GP about how minority children are viewed differently when dressed down or having dirt on their clothes than white children http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/192529.page .

We can all agree that what he did was rude and gross. But it's still not a big deal until you throw the feeling of being disrespected into the mix. Maybe she was being disrespected and he wouldn't have done it to a white woman but who knows? She didn't know that and she overreacted.

Personal space is a big deal to a lot of people. Some people hate being touched.

[Anonymous]

re: the Metro incident.

I find it especially irritating if I'm making a point in a calm, yet assertive manner, and am told to "calm down".

Some white people find any negative response from a black person as confrontational and/or a sign that we're ready to get loud and rowdy. That's not always the case. I have a right to get upset and/or make my point without you being afraid that I'm about to make a scene.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like healthy- not delusional- self-esteem to me.

http://www.thecyberhood.net/documents/papers/patterson04.pdf

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there are a few things to take into account.

The bike wheel was obviously dirty. Who knows where the biker had been riding. The lady kept moving the wheel and the guy kept putting it back touching her. Personal space violation should not be tolerated.

I was always told that if your clothes are dirty, people will think you are dirty and disrespect you. Maybe she was concerned about this. There was a post a back in GP about how minority children are viewed differently when dressed down or having dirt on their clothes than white children http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/192529.page .

We can all agree that what he did was rude and gross. But it's still not a big deal until you throw the feeling of being disrespected into the mix. Maybe she was being disrespected and he wouldn't have done it to a white woman but who knows? She didn't know that and she overreacted.

What in the OP's story makes you think the woman overreacted?

[Anonymous]

Finally, the woman got tired of the bike touching her so she asked the guy with the bike (not in the nicest tone of voice) if he could move his bike out of the way and he told her to calm down. She went off on him and said that she would not calm down and that she deserved to be able to sit on the train without his dirty bike wheel bumping into her at every stop. She said that if he did it again she was going to kick his bike.

>>>>>>>>>>>
So what you are saying is she went all "angry black woman" on him and everybody else (white) told her to chill out?

I am wondering if OP is really a black person or if this is someone with an agenda against black people who is not really saying, "why are white people always so happy" but is really saying, "why do black people have a chip on their shoulder".

I think if I were black in this country I would have a chip on my shoulder. Racism is real, white privelege is real. If you were treated poorly - subtly but poorly - by people in many different situations daily, you might be tired of the white guy with the bike heedlessly banging into you repeatedly on the metro, too.

[Anonymous]

Black man here. OP, yes there is something that you can do to be happy like the white folks. Stop worrying about being disrespected. It's such an overused term in AA culture. People lose friendships, jobs, even kill over supposedly being disrespected. Does anyone even know what that means? Yes, people don't always treat you the way you want them to, but it's not usually out of disrespect.

Get to know people that you work with and let them get to know you. Remove the "weight of the world on your shoulders" look from your face. Smile...Sometimes you have to fake it to make it. Most of the white people I know have the same issues that I have. It's not important for me to let the world know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone care to explain (or attempt to explain) the pervasiveness of low self-esteem in white culture?

Just talking out of my ass here, but I wonder if it's because we were told that we could do anything, if we just worked hard enough. Therefore, any failure is due to our own shortcomings. And there are SO many ways to fail. Didn't get the grade, didn't get the college admission, didn't get the job, didn't get the promotion, didn't get the storybook marriage, didn't get the girlish figure back, didn't get the kid into the ideal school... I look at all the ways I wish my life were different, and for most of them, I can point to something I screwed up to create the current situation.

Thanks for responding. Interesting points!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there are a few things to take into account.

The bike wheel was obviously dirty. Who knows where the biker had been riding. The lady kept moving the wheel and the guy kept putting it back touching her. Personal space violation should not be tolerated.

I was always told that if your clothes are dirty, people will think you are dirty and disrespect you. Maybe she was concerned about this. There was a post a back in GP about how minority children are viewed differently when dressed down or having dirt on their clothes than white children http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/192529.page .

We can all agree that what he did was rude and gross. But it's still not a big deal until you throw the feeling of being disrespected into the mix. Maybe she was being disrespected and he wouldn't have done it to a white woman but who knows? She didn't know that and she overreacted.

What in the OP's story makes you think the woman overreacted?

The first time she spoke to the biker she spoke loudly enough to be heard by men across the isle and she threatened to kick the bike.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find that I am always so tense and wrapped up in day to day activities just to make end's meet and secure myself and my child's future.

I find that most of the White people that I meet however have this carefree happy go lucky personality/attitude about life.

How come you all are able to be so happy most of the time?

Is there anything that I can do in my own life to be happy like you?

I am white - but Italian.

If you want the real world, spend a day with us. I'm sure your life will look like roses as you sit and listen to us complain and yell all day long.