If you don't join and/or volunteer in your school's PTA, please explain why

[Anonymous]

I just switched schools through DC's OOB process. Part of what made me select the school we are attending is that it had a very strong PTO. The school we are leaving could not get a PTO going to save its life, parents only wanted gripe sessions not to help. What I realized is that many parents do not have a strong desire to be part of their kids school for a lot of reasons, but those parents that do tend to sort themselves out into schools with strong parent organizations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child is in a Catholic school but we have attended several of the fun fair type activities put on by elementary schools in our area over the years. What I found is that while the kids seem to enjoy the events the adults are pretty bored but running the events and attending. I know I was. So I could see not a lot of parents feeling the activity had value nor wanting to participate or even attend.

Our school has a PTO that is happy if you give a big donation - the ones who run it are the sahm types who are happy to have this as their "job" and continually get "re-elected" to the various positions each year. One mom told me she was planning to use this on her resume for when she returns to work in a few years?? Hey whatever works for her

apparently it is working for her, why do you care? Why point that out? Don't people use volunteer positions on their resumes? Switch schools if you are so above everyone.

[Anonymous]

The meetings, the members, and the activities are boring beyond belief.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My child is in a Catholic school but we have attended several of the fun fair type activities put on by elementary schools in our area over the years. What I found is that while the kids seem to enjoy the events the adults are pretty bored but running the events and attending. I know I was. So I could see not a lot of parents feeling the activity had value nor wanting to participate or even attend.

Our school has a PTO that is happy if you give a big donation - the ones who run it are the sahm types who are happy to have this as their "job" and continually get "re-elected" to the various positions each year. One mom told me she was planning to use this on her resume for when she returns to work in a few years?? Hey whatever works for her

apparently it is working for her, why do you care? Why point that out? Don't people use volunteer positions on their resumes? Switch schools if you are so above everyone.

I pointed it out because it explains her intensity and devotion to the PTO and I wonder if there are other moms at other schools with similar aspirations and this is why they work so hard at it and want to make sure it is "successful" so they do have something for their resume.

[Anonymous]

I was a member of a great PTO at my son's old school. Very proactive and really worked on stuff that mattered.

I joined the PTA at his new school, but I don't do anything beyond pay membership dues. The reason is that he's at a magnet far from where I live and work, and I just can't go to any of the meetings. Not sure what else the PTA does there besides meet, because I never see any email (I gave my email address), and I've never been contacted again or asked to do anything. If I were closer, I'd invest more I guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My child is in a Catholic school but we have attended several of the fun fair type activities put on by elementary schools in our area over the years. What I found is that while the kids seem to enjoy the events the adults are pretty bored but running the events and attending. I know I was. So I could see not a lot of parents feeling the activity had value nor wanting to participate or even attend.

Our school has a PTO that is happy if you give a big donation - the ones who run it are the sahm types who are happy to have this as their "job" and continually get "re-elected" to the various positions each year. One mom told me she was planning to use this on her resume for when she returns to work in a few years?? Hey whatever works for her

apparently it is working for her, why do you care? Why point that out? Don't people use volunteer positions on their resumes? Switch schools if you are so above everyone.

I pointed it out because it explains her intensity and devotion to the PTO and I wonder if there are other moms at other schools with similar aspirations and this is why they work so hard at it and want to make sure it is "successful" so they do have something for their resume.

I dunno. I think that's pretty cynical. It may be a nice plus, but I think the folks who are able to devote the time usually really care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a member of a great PTO at my son's old school. Very proactive and really worked on stuff that mattered.

I joined the PTA at his new school, but I don't do anything beyond pay membership dues. The reason is that he's at a magnet far from where I live and work, and I just can't go to any of the meetings. Not sure what else the PTA does there besides meet, because I never see any email (I gave my email address), and I've never been contacted again or asked to do anything. If I were closer, I'd invest more I guess.

Me again. Just want to clarify. By "stuff that matters," I meant organizing the parents to do things like fight school budget cuts, fight to keep parent liasions and media specialists, stock the on-site food pantry (yes. families were experiencing economic hardship and hunger), and really supporting the efforts of the school to educate all the kids regardless of their situation or background. It felt good, did good, and I never felt excluded because I had a full-time paid job. One of the reasons it worked is that the PTO did regular outreach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My child is in a Catholic school but we have attended several of the fun fair type activities put on by elementary schools in our area over the years. What I found is that while the kids seem to enjoy the events the adults are pretty bored but running the events and attending. I know I was. So I could see not a lot of parents feeling the activity had value nor wanting to participate or even attend.

Our school has a PTO that is happy if you give a big donation - the ones who run it are the sahm types who are happy to have this as their "job" and continually get "re-elected" to the various positions each year. One mom told me she was planning to use this on her resume for when she returns to work in a few years?? Hey whatever works for her

apparently it is working for her, why do you care? Why point that out? Don't people use volunteer positions on their resumes? Switch schools if you are so above everyone.

I pointed it out because it explains her intensity and devotion to the PTO and I wonder if there are other moms at other schools with similar aspirations and this is why they work so hard at it and want to make sure it is "successful" so they do have something for their resume.

I don't buy it-you come off so condescending. Why do anything unless you want it to be successful? Who wants their name associated with a dud project? It's cool if you aren't into the PTA-I am not either but I would never put down someone that is. We all have our interests.

[Anonymous]

I'm a SAHM and pay my PTA dues but don't participate in many of the larger school events - mostly because I'm a bit of an introvert and prefer to volunteer in my child's classroom, which I do on a regular basis (and I'm always willing to help out when asked). It's just more my comfort zone.

[Anonymous]

Well, it started off poorly at my very first PTA-sponsored orientation, the PTA president went on at length about the pickup procedures after school. I raised my hand and asked about how it worked for pickup from extended day, and she looked at me blankly and said she had no idea and that I should "find some parent from extended day and ask them." Ok, way to alienate me and the roughly 25% of parents in the school who use extended day. And of course all the fliers and information they put out are by the front door, and they ignored my request to put a second set of fliers by the back door, where we pick our kids up.

Then, they send all these begging emails asking for help for this that or the other, so I sign up, bust my ass to get there on time after work, and then show up and no one seems to know what is going on, who is in charge, what I'm supposed to be doing etc, and then someone wanders over sort of vaguely and says "I guess we don't really need you." This has happened to me at least 3-4 times.

Finally, I've volunteered 4 times to be a room parent (a task assigned out by the PTA) and have always been passed over while the same moms do it year after year -- they are all the "PTA moms." So I guess it is the combination of lack of thought for WOH parents, incompetence/wasting my time, and general cliquishness that puts me off.

I still join every year and try to volunteer for a few events, but the latter is mostly to make my kids happy. They like to see me work a booth at the fair...

[Anonymous]

I find the women who run the PTA to be just this side of utterly intolerable. They've taken the PTA and made it their mini-career. They are the VIP Execs and as mere "employees" we other parents should just sit back and listen to their amazing thoughts. There is limited originality, a disdain for new ideas or innovation, and a complete failure to comprehend that not every parent has 20 free hours available between 9 and 3 each school week. You know, when some of us have jobs.

[Anonymous]

I know it is not PC to say "I'm too busy" or "I'm busier than you"... but that really is how I feel. Yes, it is absolutely a question of priorities. The vast majority of PTA moms at my son's school stay at home. It's not that I don't believe they're busy or working hard, but many of them have only school age children and (apparently) have every day between 9-3 "free" to do what they need to do. While I'm sure some of them balance incredibly difficult things (perhaps sick parents, spouse with cancer, God only knows), I see many of them in their newly washed cars and perfectly coiffed hair, and I REALLY REALLY doubt they are as busy as I am. If that makes me self-centered so be it. If they want to make my son's school a better place, I am happy for it, as it benefits my son. But the reality is that if not for the PTA, my son's school would still be fine, and I STILL would not be participating because I don't have time. If I had an extra 6 hours in my day every day, I would probably get my car washed, join a gym, and play with my kids more FIRST... after that, I would happily donate some of my extra time to PTA.

So if you have "free" time, and you want to devote it to PTA - that's great. I am grateful to you for your efforts. But if push came to shove, and the choice was between ME doing PTA, or my son not having access to the extra programs, he would simply not have access, and I would be fine with that.

Honestly, I try to contribute 5-6 hours per year in the classroom, because I am more comfortable contributing directly in that capacity. Part of what keeps me away from PTA functions is a fear that if I volunteer once (to put in a couple of hours at the school fair or whatever), that I will be fending off calls from frustrated/martyr moms for the rest of the year, pressuring me into doing something for the bake sale, or whatever the current "cause" is, and taking a lot of flack for not helping more.

For those of you who do PTA, I really do salute you. I think in almost all cases, the school (and my son by extension) benefits from your work. But I'd also encourage you to look at it as an endeavor you give your time to freely... or not at all... and stop the hostility towards moms who don't "contribute".

[Anonymous]

Totally agree with the prior post and I am a SAHM. My kids school would be fine without the fall festival, the craft show, and the Peeps diorama contest.

The only things I care about that the PTA does are the field trip transportation expenses and the teacher appreciation. The rest is a lot of work that the PTA people do, but apparently are resentful that other people don't do. Don't be a martyr... do less busy work and enjoy life more!

[Anonymous]

Because I don't have the time to listen to grown adults whine about how too few parents attend the meetings for two hours, and then wonder why they never get anything done.

[Anonymous]

Our PA does make meaningful contributions to the school, mostly on the fund raising side. It is just so inefficient, though, and far too many cooks in the kitchen. I'm happy to contribute money, and to volunteer in the classroom, but the PA just doesn't make sense to me. Its members seems to be enthusiastic and hard-working, but I don't think they are accustomed to running meetings and working through issues efficiently while still seeking (and actually benefiting from) new ideas.