So tired of living in the DC area. So sick of it. Warning..negative VENT

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Oh, and when I greet strangers with a smile / hi, like when they're walking past me at my gate, they stare. They're startled. Sometimes they say "Mmm."

I think they are afraid I'm going to use my Midwestern wiles and force them to talk to me and be friends?

Come on over to Hill East. People will say hello right back to you. Some will even smile. Y'all are in the wrong neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

Hey, I grew up in KCMO near the Plaza and lived in OP, KS too during high school (anyone here from SME?).

I moved here for grad school 20+ years ago and stayed. I'm with those who say that every visit back home reminds me of why I couldn't move back there although there are some really great things I do miss (the BBQ, tooling around the Plaza, the beauty of the city in general (not the exurbs), the wide open prairie and no traffic).

[Anonymous]

OP, it sounds like you just need a new set of friends who are more interested in socializing with you, and/or a different neighborhood. There are plenty of laid-back, no mc-mansion, friendly, down-to-earth people here that are not primarily concerned about money, power or self-importance. And there are so many amazing things about this area!

In general, I find people here to be well educated, interesting and well-informed. The art scene is truly exceptional, and there is a huge array of world-class museums - FREE!!! I have lived here for 12 years now and have never been at a loss for what to do, or how to expose my family to new and exciting experiences. Not to mention the schools, which are better here than in most places in the country (few exceptions duly noted).

Yes, the cost of living can be staggering, and we have occasionally considered moving out of the area as well (mostly to be closer to family, but also to have a more relaxed lifestyle), but honestly we are concerned that anywhere else we would not be getting the same quality of education for our kids, or the wonderful opportunities to experience a variety of things that we do here. So for now, we're staying put and taking full advantage of everything DC has to offer. Good luck, OP - hopefully you will find things you like about this area as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:sucks to be you, life is all about choices, I bet you don't mind spending the money your husbnads business makes from being in this area.

deal with it

Ohhhhh. Deal with her post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I have lived here about 15 years, and by "here" I mean the District of Columbia, trending ever upward in NW. I run into rude people every.single.day. Every day. All day. I'd say about 50% of my encounters involve the other person being rude.

That's your problem right there. To me, the neighborhoods full of "the strivers" are some of the most unfriendly - especially on a stranger-to-stranger basis. If they don't know you, you are not worth their time or even a hello or a smile. East of the park (both in DC and MD) is heaps more friendly IMHO. I wonder where OP lives that she finds so unwelcoming.

[Anonymous]

My impression of this thread:

Blah blah blah (suburban person from even smaller community complaining that DC is impersonal) followed by person from small community who recognizes that such places are provincial crapholes punctuated by occasional sensible comments pointing out that truly world-class cities are usually busier and often less personal than DC but that the preponderance of self-important one-track policy/politico wonks can be kinda' dull.

Cue outraged response from poster who cries out that Denver is hardly Mayberry (except that compared to the cultural capitals of the world it sort of is) and even she feels alienated here...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My impression of this thread:

Blah blah blah (suburban person from even smaller community complaining that DC is impersonal) followed by person from small community who recognizes that such places are provincial crapholes punctuated by occasional sensible comments pointing out that truly world-class cities are usually busier and often less personal than DC but that the preponderance of self-important one-track policy/politico wonks can be kinda' dull.

Cue outraged response from poster who cries out that Denver is hardly Mayberry (except that compared to the cultural capitals of the world it sort of is) and even she feels alienated here...

I lived in a REAL ACTUAL world-class city (Tokyo) and it was way nicer than DC. Sure, it has problems, but it was overall great. So is London (only lived there for a year, though, Jp for 10 years). DC is a little shithole fake city that I'm currently tolerating, but I agree 100% with OP. It sucks and everyone here is the worst. People are aggressively mean in a way I've never seen before.

Can't wait to move on myself! (Hopefully to Shanghai or Hong Kong next...).

[Anonymous]

My point about the news is that trying to have a discussion with my Wisconsin relatives that involves actually knowing who some of the Cabinet level officers are in the current administration results in nothing but stares. Here you can discuss policy and who's doing what at the staff level and you feel right at home.

See now, THIS is exactly that kind of pompous ass attitude that makes this area depressing. And it's generational. What are you, PP, about 28? You work on the Hill or the Admin, right? And no one is as smart as you are, or as exceptional, except maybe the 31 yr old Chief of Staff who hired you and whose job you're vying for when she moves on to a private lobbying shop next April.

The thing that never occurs to this insufferable DC archetype is that it actually does not make you a better, a smarter, or -- brace yourself -- a more interesting person to know the inside baseball machinations of committee rewrites. It doesn't. It makes you different from your lowly Hapless Wisconsin Relatives, but not better. Worry not, some of them privately pity you precisely because of your douchenozzle superiority persona.

Knowledge of arcane policy points and loving Leinenkugel and cheese curds are not mutually exclusive. What's more, some persons who cannot name all nine Supreme Court justices actually have value. Really! It's just not their thoughts on strict constructionism, probably. When you are older and less self-enamored, you will realize this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have lived here for 22 years and d*mn I can't stand it here anymore! I'm originally from the Midwest. Land of laid back, friendly, modest folks.

I hate the traffic here and I despise the pace. I despise the commutes and the fact that I have to plan how and when I can get to or park at the grocery store.

I despise how so many think they are so important. I hate working and living in a place with so many attorneys who think they are so important and so impressive. I was a federal employee for years in an environment where managers couldn't see past the bureaucracy to allow flexibility with a small child or serious illness. It was awful. I hate the inflexibility of government positions and bureaucracy that I've had.

I hate that the houses here are so small and that you have to kill yourself working to live in what is considered a good area with good schools.. NW DC, NOrthern VA, and Montgomery County (Bethesda, Chevy Chase, Potomac, parts of Silver Spring) No one other than highly paid, multi-degreed professinals (doctors, lawyers, real estate moguls, heads of companies) can afford these parts of town. I am in the education field with several degrees, but can't afford these places.

I hate that there is not much of a friendly feel in neighborhoods here. Everyone is too busy with crazy, overscheduled agendas. The craziness isn't good for my kid and i don't want her to grow up "stressed" Yuck.

There, I've said it. I had to get it off my chest.

I am unable to move. I married a man whose business is here and he isn't going anywhere. It depresses me. I miss the Midwest.

From a frustrated MOM and former professional

Ahhh the utopian Midwest. Land of boredom and white bread. I don't understand why some of you look at the Midwest with rose-colored glasses. I grew up there, as well, and HATED it. Let me tell you what I recall about the Midwest: Homogenized neighborhoods; not a lot to do; everyone nosing into everyone's business; a demographic that is universally less tolerant of others who are not like them (be in race, wealth, etc.) and do so rather openly.

While this description certainly doesn't identify each Midwestern city/town, it does many of them.

Maybe you need to cut back on YOUR scheduling and pace of life. Maybe you should try to enjoy some of the amazing things to do around here (many of which are FREE). Try focusing on improving your outlook here instead of focusing on what you can't have. You might be happier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

My point about the news is that trying to have a discussion with my Wisconsin relatives that involves actually knowing who some of the Cabinet level officers are in the current administration results in nothing but stares. Here you can discuss policy and who's doing what at the staff level and you feel right at home.

See now, THIS is exactly that kind of pompous ass attitude that makes this area depressing. And it's generational. What are you, PP, about 28? You work on the Hill or the Admin, right? And no one is as smart as you are, or as exceptional, except maybe the 31 yr old Chief of Staff who hired you and whose job you're vying for when she moves on to a private lobbying shop next April.

The thing that never occurs to this insufferable DC archetype is that it actually does not make you a better, a smarter, or -- brace yourself -- a more interesting person to know the inside baseball machinations of committee rewrites. It doesn't. It makes you different from your lowly Hapless Wisconsin Relatives, but not better. Worry not, some of them privately pity you precisely because of your douchenozzle superiority persona.

Knowledge of arcane policy points and loving Leinenkugel and cheese curds are not mutually exclusive. What's more, some persons who cannot name all nine Supreme Court justices actually have value. Really! It's just not their thoughts on strict constructionism, probably. When you are older and less self-enamored, you will realize this.

Yep. DC is a policy-wonk circle-jerk. They just can't see that, outside their bubble, people consider policy to be god-awfully boring.

Tell you what, wonks, why don't you improve the economy/education/infrastructure, and then I'll get interested in policy again, like I was when I was a naive fresh-faced girl who thought policy discussion meant, y'know, something would HAPPEN.

[Anonymous]

I think I love you, 12:27! How incredibly self-centered of the PP to assume that their topics of interest are the ones that matter and are a demonstration of education and culture.

From the Midwest, been here 16years. I used to love it here, but am less and less delighted with it. Partly because I'm now a parent and wish I could SAH, which would take a major life change such as leaving DC. Additionally, although we live inside the Beltway, DH doesn't like DC traffic so we rarely if ever head into the city. As a result, I get many of the negatives of being here (traffic, cost of living, and so on) without benefitting from the fun parts of DC and so I sometimes wish we could or would move. We love our neighbors and friends, but definitely always feel an underlying current of tension in life -- the kind of thing you don't really realize is there until it's gone.

Occasionally I do think like OP, and there's always something idyllic about where you'd move to. Maybe in part because our own memories of other parts of the country are childhood memories, which are far more idyllic and not worried about jobs and mortgages. When I head home to visit my parents in our mid-sized Midwest city, I am bored to tears in their outer suburbs. At the same time, it's refreshing to NOT have every dinner table conversation be about the implications of the south Sudan referendum for the rest of Africa and the MidEast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

My point about the news is that trying to have a discussion with my Wisconsin relatives that involves actually knowing who some of the Cabinet level officers are in the current administration results in nothing but stares. Here you can discuss policy and who's doing what at the staff level and you feel right at home.

See now, THIS is exactly that kind of pompous ass attitude that makes this area depressing. And it's generational. What are you, PP, about 28? You work on the Hill or the Admin, right? And no one is as smart as you are, or as exceptional, except maybe the 31 yr old Chief of Staff who hired you and whose job you're vying for when she moves on to a private lobbying shop next April.

The thing that never occurs to this insufferable DC archetype is that it actually does not make you a better, a smarter, or -- brace yourself -- a more interesting person to know the inside baseball machinations of committee rewrites. It doesn't. It makes you different from your lowly Hapless Wisconsin Relatives, but not better. Worry not, some of them privately pity you precisely because of your douchenozzle superiority persona.

Knowledge of arcane policy points and loving Leinenkugel and cheese curds are not mutually exclusive. What's more, some persons who cannot name all nine Supreme Court justices actually have value. Really! It's just not their thoughts on strict constructionism, probably. When you are older and less self-enamored, you will realize this.

See, I read your post and see someone who wants to celebrate ignorance. Cabinet members are not "arcane policy points" or obscure trivia. It's basic government. I'm not the poster that you are responding to, but I fail to see why s/he is pompous for wanting to discuss something about our government and its workings. Or for not liking/understanding how the family has no interest or SOME knowledge of these types of topics. Having that sort of knowledge -whether from formal education or just taking an interest in the news- is something I LOVE about this area. It simply is not the case in places like the Midwest (in the same concentration) that it is here. I find THAT depressing.

I don't discuss these topics with my Midwestern family (who are fairly educated) b/c 1) they don't know or care to know and 2) any attempts to inquire their thoughts or get a discussion going were met with the same sort of response you provided. And, BTW, I'm not some governmental scholar. We are talking BASIC topics of interest in the news, not "how fast can you name the 9 S.Ct. Justices?" I don't see inability to know or discuss basic ideas/news about your government as something to celebrate. And, certainly, that is no basis for looking down on/name-calling those that do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, it sounds like you just need a new set of friends who are more interested in socializing with you, and/or a different neighborhood. There are plenty of laid-back, no mc-mansion, friendly, down-to-earth people here that are not primarily concerned about money, power or self-importance. And there are so many amazing things about this area!

In general, I find people here to be well educated, interesting and well-informed. The art scene is truly exceptional, and there is a huge array of world-class museums - FREE!!! I have lived here for 12 years now and have never been at a loss for what to do, or how to expose my family to new and exciting experiences. Not to mention the schools, which are better here than in most places in the country (few exceptions duly noted).

Yes, the cost of living can be staggering, and we have occasionally considered moving out of the area as well (mostly to be closer to family, but also to have a more relaxed lifestyle), but honestly we are concerned that anywhere else we would not be getting the same quality of education for our kids, or the wonderful opportunities to experience a variety of things that we do here. So for now, we're staying put and taking full advantage of everything DC has to offer. Good luck, OP - hopefully you will find things you like about this area as well.

I like this post! Thanks to the poster. It is not damning, but encouraging. You point out the good points of living here and acknowledge some of the bad without being nasty..Thank you!

[Anonymous]

If you are employed, and happily employed, as in you enjoy your career AND being a parent - it's a hell of lot easier to like DC.

If I stayed home (or worked in a job I didn't like) I would hate it here too. It's just that the job opportunities here mean that if you are educated and know what field you are interested in, you have a pretty good chance of doing something every weekday that you enjoy (or if you've been laid off, finding something you enjoy within a year I should say). Note that I'm not saying all stay at home parents are miserable, just that job opportunities usually hit the "pro" list of living in the DC area, and for me, that is HUGE. Way bigger than being able to afford a big house, etc. And if you remove that (you aren't working or looking for work), the rest of the list may not be as compelling.

I'm willing to put up with the rest of the crap because my husband and I are both happy in our jobs and because we work among so many working parents (including our bosses) we are able to take advantage of policies friendly to working parents. So in exchange we own a smaller house than I would like so we can have good commutes, etc.

I do agree that you can easily find some cool, down to earth, laid back, really nice people here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:See, I read your post and see someone who wants to celebrate ignorance. Cabinet members are not "arcane policy points" or obscure trivia. It's basic government. I'm not the poster that you are responding to, but I fail to see why s/he is pompous for wanting to discuss something about our government and its workings. Or for not liking/understanding how the family has no interest or SOME knowledge of these types of topics. Having that sort of knowledge -whether from formal education or just taking an interest in the news- is something I LOVE about this area. It simply is not the case in places like the Midwest (in the same concentration) that it is here. I find THAT depressing.

I don't discuss these topics with my Midwestern family (who are fairly educated) b/c 1) they don't know or care to know and 2) any attempts to inquire their thoughts or get a discussion going were met with the same sort of response you provided. And, BTW, I'm not some governmental scholar. We are talking BASIC topics of interest in the news, not "how fast can you name the 9 S.Ct. Justices?" I don't see inability to know or discuss basic ideas/news about your government as something to celebrate. And, certainly, that is no basis for looking down on/name-calling those that do.

Not the PP to whom you were responding, but this was the line that grated me:

Anonymous wrote:Here you can discuss policy and who's doing what at the staff level and you feel right at home.

The PP's tone was such that anyone who couldn't discuss policy "at the staff level" is a hillbilly of the worst sort. Talking about "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" is basic government. Other than knowing how your Representative is voting on the issue, lengthy discourse about the negotiations between Obama, and House Republicans is policy wonk stuff, not a demonstration of education or ignorance.