So tired of living in the DC area. So sick of it. Warning..negative VENT

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hear ya OP! We moved a few months ago away from DC and while I miss some truly wonderful people we met, the list is VERY LONG of things I do not miss.

You couldn't pay me enough to move back. Visit? Sure. But I just can't stomach raising my kids in the area. The traffic and entitlement alone keeps me away.

Where'd you move to? Is your new locale supportive of the dual working parent lifestyle? How are the job and educational opportunities? Not being able to deal with the traffic is a truly wimpish reason to stay away from DC.

Do people there read firsthand news or get all their world affairs info from cable and the internet?

Smaller city in New England.

And I'm sorry, you're right it's not just traffic. It's world-revolves-around-DC people like you that encouraged us to move. We are rather happy with our balanced lifestyle of work and play with access to plenty of diverse learning opportunities.

I'm curious though, it's the digital age. How do we all not have access to "reading firsthand news?" And what is your point?

[Anonymous]

I hear ya sistah! Born and raised DC and have seen it change and morf into a place I no longer wanted to live in. So, we moved far far away. Being on this forum reminds me of exactly why we moved....yet I keep coming back for the verbal abuse go figure. I am getting better though. I only visit once or twice a day now. Before that, I was starting to take on the nasty personalities of a lot of the people on this forum and that was scary!

So, I'm sorry you are in this situation. maybe you should move and leave your DH behind, then maybe he'll follow you! Half kidding/Half serious!

[Anonymous]

OP, you've lived here for 22 years and you haven't found anything to like about it? I think you may be romanticizing the Midwest at this point.

I'm an army brat and spent much of my childhood overseas. I graduated from an American high school in Germany. When people would ask, "Where's home?", I never knew how to reply. I didn't really have one.

I moved here in 1994 for grad school and I decided that I would try to make this city my home. And I did. I think this town has grown and changed so much since I came here, in both good and bad ways, but mostly good.
I live in the city itself and at this point would not consider living in the 'burbs. Whenever I read DCUM about all the rude people here, I don't know what to think. I've never encountered the level of rudeness described here. I find this town to be pretty damn friendly and inclusive.

As I said, I've lived in a bunch of places... I'm not a "local" which so many posters on DCUM describe with such derision. As a PP said, I think you get back what you give out. You sound like a malcontent. After 22 years, please try to bloom where you're planted. You're hurting yourself in so many ways if you don't.

PS Have you tried Peapod? One less thing to complain about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At least move to a city with a few serious GOOD breakfast joints or Greek diners and good New York Style deli. DC is seriously lacking here..the Montgomery County suburbs anyway!

Totes agree! I've come to like living here - a lot - but I seriously miss good breakfast joints, Greek diners, and NY-style delis. Even the Midwest does that better than DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting I am also from the Midwest but I hold almost the complete opposite view.

The Midwest was terribly boring and people were uninterested in anything other than what was on TV and going to the mall. Adults were rarely into any types of sports other than watching them on TV. The only kids who strived academically were the ones dying to get out. For everyone else school and grades were no big deal as long as they had at least a C and didn't get grounded. No one traveled anywhere. Forget having a conversation about politics, a world event, a book, or anything in a museum. There was no diversity at all, no ethnic food or friends who grew up in other countries. I also found that people in the MidWest were more materialistic than people are here. Here people seem more into experiences. There is no stigma in living in a small old house that is not decorated or renovated or cool factor with getting the latest huge TV.

We don't hang around lawyers or lobbyists so we really don't have a window into the DC power culture. Everyone we know is pretty grounded and relaxed.

Agreed.
Every time I go back to where I grew up, (Overland Park, KS), I remember exactly why I left and kick myself for not leaving sooner.

[Anonymous]

20:55 - honest reply, thank you. DH's family is Army. When people ask them where they are from, they (not so convincingly) declare "everywhere". You can tell they don't really believe it. It occurred to me that "nowhere" would logically make more sense. I think their perception ultimately bothers them. But they have other issues, too, like asocial tendencies. They have often come to encompass all that I hate about this area, so I try to see around them as much as possible. I never understood the passive aggressive (and sometimes not so much) pissing contest that is D.C.

It seems to me that if some people had anything to be happy about, they wouldn't be such a**holes. Such a shame. Life is too short!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not going to read all of the PPs -- sorry. OP, what you say resonates. I'm from Pittsburgh, which is very similar in outlook to the midwest. The people are nice, my friends are SHOCKED to know what I paid for my tiny house (in a nice way) and there are still some people there who will say "what in the hell is a playdate" if you can believe that, because the kids still play in the neighborhoods.

That said, I personally think a lot of my chagrin about "this area" is really growing pains. Things don't feel as relaxed and breezy here because I'm not as relaxed and breezy. As an adult, I don't have endlessly charming summers because instead of running around playing, I'm running around making sure my kids are safe. I try to do my best to relax what I can relax, on my end. The other thing is that people EVERYWHERE have changed lifestyles over the years. There is less impulsivity, people are less inclined to just pop over, and folks generally don't just come over for supper on a moment's notice. There are more cars jamming the highways in almost every urban area, so traffic is an increasing problem everywhere. (Maybe I'm just saying that because Pgh will give DC a run for its money in terms of traffic -- but that could be due to all of the bridges).

The area undeniably attracts certain types, though. And people who are not from the midwest (or Pittsburgh, the little mid-atlantic city with a big midwestern heart and a raging identity crisis) don't know what it can be like to live in a place that is truly simpler and nicer. There are positives and negatives to this city. What keeps my family here is my job and the fact that we've bought a home here that we can't easily sell. I don't think we'll be here forever, though. I can find a new job (and so can your husband if he wants to, right?).

If your vent is just to blow off steam this once and you feel better, cool. But if your life feels tense and, well, sucks, you need to make your husband understand he has to get you the heck out of dodge. That said, look closely into your own heart, because the grass is often greener and all...

Yes, let's discuss Pittsburgh. Third rate culture, if that; very low levels of college and higher education in the populace and nowhere near the job opportunities in DC. Economics are much more important than quality of life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

. I cannot wait until the day that my husband decides that government contracting is not worth it.

Wow. Maybe if Eisenhower wins a third term.

It's also telling that the wife of the government contractor doesn't have a job worth moving for. I can see SAHMs being much more eager to move out of this area than working moms making $150,000.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What about a smaller east coast city? Like Princeton, NJ or Albany or Buffalo, NY or Hartford or Providence? Portland, ME? I don't know but maybe less contrast than DC vs Cleveland?

Crappy cold weather, many more people know your business. No thanks. And how are the public schools?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hear ya OP! We moved a few months ago away from DC and while I miss some truly wonderful people we met, the list is VERY LONG of things I do not miss.

You couldn't pay me enough to move back. Visit? Sure. But I just can't stomach raising my kids in the area. The traffic and entitlement alone keeps me away.

Where'd you move to? Is your new locale supportive of the dual working parent lifestyle? How are the job and educational opportunities? Not being able to deal with the traffic is a truly wimpish reason to stay away from DC.

Do people there read firsthand news or get all their world affairs info from cable and the internet?

Smaller city in New England.

And I'm sorry, you're right it's not just traffic. It's world-revolves-around-DC people like you that encouraged us to move. We are rather happy with our balanced lifestyle of work and play with access to plenty of diverse learning opportunities.

I'm curious though, it's the digital age. How do we all not have access to "reading firsthand news?" And what is your point?

Ok, by your non response, I'm guessing you do not have a dual working parent lifestyle. And no comment on the job and educational opportunities in your New Englad town compared to DC either, huh? My point about the news is that trying to have a discussion with my Wisconsin relatives that involves actually knowing who some of the Cabinet level officers are in the current administration results in nothing but stares. Here you can discuss policy and who's doing what at the staff level and you feel right at home. And how are you loving that New England weather? Is it true you need to be third generation to even begin to be accepted by the locals there? How's the racial and ethnic diversity?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting I am also from the Midwest but I hold almost the complete opposite view.

The Midwest was terribly boring and people were uninterested in anything other than what was on TV and going to the mall. Adults were rarely into any types of sports other than watching them on TV. The only kids who strived academically were the ones dying to get out. For everyone else school and grades were no big deal as long as they had at least a C and didn't get grounded. No one traveled anywhere. Forget having a conversation about politics, a world event, a book, or anything in a museum. There was no diversity at all, no ethnic food or friends who grew up in other countries. I also found that people in the MidWest were more materialistic than people are here. Here people seem more into experiences. There is no stigma in living in a small old house that is not decorated or renovated or cool factor with getting the latest huge TV.

We don't hang around lawyers or lobbyists so we really don't have a window into the DC power culture. Everyone we know is pretty grounded and relaxed.

Agreed.
Every time I go back to where I grew up, (Overland Park, KS), I remember exactly why I left and kick myself for not leaving sooner.

I lived near Overland Park for four months for work. Boring as crap. One mall, one or two nice restaurants. Downtown KS MO is dead by 10 pm during the week. Affordable, easy traffic, but nothing to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At least move to a city with a few serious GOOD breakfast joints or Greek diners and good New York Style deli. DC is seriously lacking here..the Montgomery County suburbs anyway!

Totes agree! I've come to like living here - a lot - but I seriously miss good breakfast joints, Greek diners, and NY-style delis. Even the Midwest does that better than DC.

Agreed! Hubby and I travel to NYC to eat in good DINERS and get great deli. We even take a cooler to bring home deli food that we can't find here. We go to NYC to EAT..our favorite thing!!! We are amazed that in a city with this many people, we cannot find good diners (more than one) and good New York Deli.

[Anonymous]

21:23 pp - I am also from Overland Park, KS! And while I love going home to visit, and envy the nice houses that everyone I know lives in there, I wouldn't move back.

OP - if you wanted to live in the midwest, you shouldn't have married a guy who is comitted to staying here. Yes, I know it's hard to forecast that going in, but it's true. I have a friend who pines for her midwestern hometown, but she DID move back there as an adult, and after a few years, she moved back here and married a guy with family/friend ties here. She complains a lot, but if she loved her hometown so much, she should have stayed there and found a guy there. My sister-in-law is from Maine and went to school in the midwest and met my brother there. Now she complains constantly about how she wants to move back to Maine, and I tell her, "tough luck. You came out here, mostly to meet a guy. You met the guy. If you wanted a Maine guy, the East Coast would have been a better place to meet a husband."

I think after a certain point, you just have to own your decisions or do something about them. If you hate it so much, leave. If leaving your husband is not an option, find the things you like about it and realize that you may be idealizing the midwest. Nothing's more annoying than someone who complains all the time without doing anything about it.

I have my complaints about the DC area. Housing is expensive. Commuting is a pain in the ass. It can be annoying to be stuck in traffic at 11:00 on a Saturday morning or 11:00 on a Friday night. That's the price we pay to live in an interesting place. I don't really have any other complaints. If someone handed me a million dollars to buy a house exactly where I wanted to live, I'd probably have no real complaints.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At least move to a city with a few serious GOOD breakfast joints or Greek diners and good New York Style deli. DC is seriously lacking here..the Montgomery County suburbs anyway!

Totes agree! I've come to like living here - a lot - but I seriously miss good breakfast joints, Greek diners, and NY-style delis. Even the Midwest does that better than DC.

Agreed! Hubby and I travel to NYC to eat in good DINERS and get great deli. We even take a cooler to bring home deli food that we can't find here. We go to NYC to EAT..our favorite thing!!! We are amazed that in a city with this many people, we cannot find good diners (more than one) and good New York Deli.

Great way to pick a place to live - by the food! LOL.

[Anonymous]

"I have my complaints about the DC area. Housing is expensive. Commuting is a pain in the ass. It can be annoying to be stuck in traffic at 11:00 on a Saturday morning or 11:00 on a Friday night. That's the price we pay to live in an interesting place. I don't really have any other complaints. If someone handed me a million dollars to buy a house exactly where I wanted to live, I'd probably have no real complaints."

Even more reason for me to love and stay in DC. We bought our house ten years ago for $350,000. My commute is less than 20 minutes. It IS an interesting place full of smart, educated people who demand a high quality public education for their children. Love it, never leaving it.