So tired of living in the DC area. So sick of it. Warning..negative VENT

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

AS for parking, the further out you go, the better it gets. I love working in Leesburg and doing my shopping @ Costco and Target on the way home.

I love that Costo, too, in Leesburg (and also the Kohl's and Target, but not the Walmart). But let's be honest. That's not D.C. by any stretch. It's a 48 minute drive from the District with no traffic back-ups and it's another world. Not better, or worse, but totally different.

Put another way, the Leesburg big-box land is indistinguishable from the Overland Park, KS big-box land. Or the Arvada, Colo. big-box land, or Katy, TX outside of Houston ...

The OP did include Northern Virginia, unless she is one of those for whom Northern Virginia ends at Falls Church.

And yes, Leesburg big-box land is pretty much the same as "generic suburbian big-box land in smaller cities." Leesburg does have a historic core that most other areas in Northern Virginia lack -- whereas Maryland seems to have a large number of towns with historic cores, etc.

Wasn't DC crowing a few years ago when Target showed up?

I can get to Baltimore quicker than I can get to Leesburg.

[Anonymous]

I think that a person's state of mind is 80% and the city itself 20%. I tend to be more upbeat and will be happy just about anywhere--and I've lived on the west coast, midwest, south east, and mid-atlantic.

If it's neighborliness you're after, you have to work at networking and keeping up ties. Also, small things like saying hi and having a cup of coffee or a playdate reaps major benefits for a couple of hours of time. Even an occasional email to check in is helpful.

I've made friends through DC's schools, work, hooking up with college friends, and our neighbors. We live in CC DC, and while our neighbors here are not good friends, we are very friendly and I would not hesitate to ask for their help in a pinch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your observations about DC resonate even though I like it here (because I have NYC and Boston as reference points), but it seems to me that the problem isn't DC but your husband. His wife is miserable and you apparently have the qualifications to make at least a little bit of money in a cheaper place, but he won't consider moving. How can the business make enough money to be worth staying for (and making you miserable) but not enough to have a good standard of living here? If he's a good enough businessman to make it here, who says he doesn't have a shot somewhere else (somewhere less cutthroat, where he can get away with earning less).

You are in a city that is a bad match for you, but you are also in a marriage that is keeping you in misery.

You can vent here to blow off steam, but it won't change anything. Your husband needs to hear that life here is unacceptable to you and then the two of you can figure out a way to make both of your lives livable.

I'm not one of these "dump the bastard" types. But it's his problem too. If my husband were keeping me in KS (sorry, folks; I don't like it there) I wouldn't leave him but I wouldn't stop working for a tolerable outcome.

OP here. No, you are wrong! I adore my husband and he IS the reason I stay! I have sta great marriage and that's why I am here. I knew I couldn't find HIM anywhere else. Part of being with him, means being HERE. Most days I can handle, but on many days, I just think it sucks and I need to blow steam! I love all of the responses but I don't have a bad marriage. HWe just figure we'll leave when we retire!!

[Anonymous]

OP here,
I love all of the responses. And yes, I am glad I am not the only one who feels this way. Of course, I love the museums, the restaurants, the proximity to NYC (wouldn't live there if you paid me). It's the STRESS here that I hate. The nonstop STRESS.

I am just a laid back gal, I guess.

[Anonymous]

Interesting I am also from the Midwest but I hold almost the complete opposite view.

The Midwest was terribly boring and people were uninterested in anything other than what was on TV and going to the mall. Adults were rarely into any types of sports other than watching them on TV. The only kids who strived academically were the ones dying to get out. For everyone else school and grades were no big deal as long as they had at least a C and didn't get grounded. No one traveled anywhere. Forget having a conversation about politics, a world event, a book, or anything in a museum. There was no diversity at all, no ethnic food or friends who grew up in other countries. I also found that people in the MidWest were more materialistic than people are here. Here people seem more into experiences. There is no stigma in living in a small old house that is not decorated or renovated or cool factor with getting the latest huge TV.

We don't hang around lawyers or lobbyists so we really don't have a window into the DC power culture. Everyone we know is pretty grounded and relaxed.

[Anonymous]

If I could turn the clock back 15 years, I'd have had a bona fide discussion with my then-boyfriend about where to live, rather than accepting that we had to live in D.C. for his job (which he has since left). I would never, ever have agreed to move to this land of horrific summer weather, expensive housing, and bland suburbs. Never.

I deeply regret not raising the issue and insisting on some give on his part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting I am also from the Midwest but I hold almost the complete opposite view.

The Midwest was terribly boring and people were uninterested in anything other than what was on TV and going to the mall. Adults were rarely into any types of sports other than watching them on TV. The only kids who strived academically were the ones dying to get out. For everyone else school and grades were no big deal as long as they had at least a C and didn't get grounded. No one traveled anywhere. Forget having a conversation about politics, a world event, a book, or anything in a museum. There was no diversity at all, no ethnic food or friends who grew up in other countries. I also found that people in the MidWest were more materialistic than people are here. Here people seem more into experiences. There is no stigma in living in a small old house that is not decorated or renovated or cool factor with getting the latest huge TV.

We don't hang around lawyers or lobbyists so we really don't have a window into the DC power culture. Everyone we know is pretty grounded and relaxed.

I think you are painting the "Midwest" with a rather broad brush. Chicago, for example, is nothing at all like what you describe.

[Anonymous]

I enjoyed reading this because I moved to DC from NY -- and DC seems so laid-back to me and everyone is so friendly (compared to NY)! It was more so 15 years ago when I first got here, but it was also really boring back then. I think DC has come a long way and gotten more interesting, better restaurants, etc. and a great place to raise kids and have good job opportunities. But I admit when visiting the midwest I'm always taken aback by how friendly everyone is. It's nice, but not something I'm used to so I'm always surprised by it.

[Anonymous]

OP,
Try being stuck here because of an ex! I don't get the benefits of marriage, but I can't move because of custody. It SUCKS! But guess what? I've embraced it because I have to. DC is a weird place, but for now it's home because it's where I am living my life. Once you marry, and especially once you have children, your life is no longer entirely yours. So, try to see the good in it, and also know that anywhere you live is going to have drawbacks.

[Anonymous]

OP: What can you do today, this week, or this month to improve your outlook?

You do have some control over your attitude, you know that old saying: if life gives you lemons, make lemonata. Focus on the good in your world, and seek to bring more of that good into your world each day. There is no perfect place and you have to live somewhere...

[Anonymous]

OP, I totally agree with you and I know what you mean completely. Personally, I don't think the locals should even bother to chime in because they have the same old canned responses: "maybe it's you", "obviously you've never been to NY (or fill in successful, fun, fast paced, educated area here)"... It's tiresome. Just what you would expect from them. It's like they can't even see it, and many have not lived elsewhere - how sad!

The way I get through it is to remind myself that D.C. is just a small part the journey for most of us. It does not have to be the destination! Take as much vacation as you can and get out as often as you can. It reminds you that the real world is nothing like this. It saves you from the depression that the locals wallow in. Just look at their responses! And their faces! You can tell al local a mile away. They are generally not accommodating, kind, sympathetic, warm or considerate. They are pissed! And they think that is okay. I'd like to see them in the real world - LOL! Anyway, we'll be gone before we turn into the likes of them, don't worry. I send you hugs and virtual cheers to being from a nice place - and perhaps someday getting back there - or anywhere else!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

OP, I totally agree with you and I know what you mean completely. Personally, I don't think the locals should even bother to chime in because they have the same old canned responses: "maybe it's you", "obviously you've never been to NY (or fill in successful, fun, fast paced, educated area here)"... It's tiresome. Just what you would expect from them. It's like they can't even see it, and many have not lived elsewhere - how sad!

The way I get through it is to remind myself that D.C. is just a small part the journey for most of us. It does not have to be the destination! Take as much vacation as you can and get out as often as you can. It reminds you that the real world is nothing like this. It saves you from the depression that the locals wallow in. Just look at their responses! And their faces! You can tell al local a mile away. They are generally not accommodating, kind, sympathetic, warm or considerate. They are pissed! And they think that is okay. I'd like to see them in the real world - LOL! Anyway, we'll be gone before we turn into the likes of them, don't worry. I send you hugs and virtual cheers to being from a nice place - and perhaps someday getting back there - or anywhere else!

Op here. I loved your response. Hugs and Virtual cheers back atcha!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

OP, I totally agree with you and I know what you mean completely. Personally, I don't think the locals should even bother to chime in because they have the same old canned responses: "maybe it's you", "obviously you've never been to NY (or fill in successful, fun, fast paced, educated area here)"... It's tiresome. Just what you would expect from them. It's like they can't even see it, and many have not lived elsewhere - how sad!

The way I get through it is to remind myself that D.C. is just a small part the journey for most of us. It does not have to be the destination! Take as much vacation as you can and get out as often as you can. It reminds you that the real world is nothing like this. It saves you from the depression that the locals wallow in. Just look at their responses! And their faces! You can tell al local a mile away. They are generally not accommodating, kind, sympathetic, warm or considerate. They are pissed! And they think that is okay. I'd like to see them in the real world - LOL! Anyway, we'll be gone before we turn into the likes of them, don't worry. I send you hugs and virtual cheers to being from a nice place - and perhaps someday getting back there - or anywhere else!

I was one of the "it may be less about the place and more about attitude" posters and I'm not from anywhere near DC originally, plus I've lived in various countries across 3 continents, so your first paragraph is flawed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Interesting I am also from the Midwest but I hold almost the complete opposite view.

The Midwest was terribly boring and people were uninterested in anything other than what was on TV and going to the mall. Adults were rarely into any types of sports other than watching them on TV. The only kids who strived academically were the ones dying to get out. For everyone else school and grades were no big deal as long as they had at least a C and didn't get grounded. No one traveled anywhere. Forget having a conversation about politics, a world event, a book, or anything in a museum. There was no diversity at all, no ethnic food or friends who grew up in other countries. I also found that people in the MidWest were more materialistic than people are here. Here people seem more into experiences. There is no stigma in living in a small old house that is not decorated or renovated or cool factor with getting the latest huge TV.

We don't hang around lawyers or lobbyists so we really don't have a window into the DC power culture. Everyone we know is pretty grounded and relaxed.


I think you are painting the "Midwest" with a rather broad brush. Chicago, for example, is nothing at all like what you describe.

I'm absolutely not talking about Chicago but Chicago is not the majority of the Midwest. Michigan, Ohio, Illinois other than Chicago, or Indiana are very much like what I am describing. Oddly,in these areas Minnesota and Wisconsin are not really included when people refer to the Midwest. The economic recession in some of the states above has been going on now for a decade and things are very bad right now making it worse. The OP was painting with a pretty broad brush about how wonderful the Midwest is and how terrible this area is in comparison. For me and everyone that I know from the states that I listed the perception is very much in reverse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

OP, I totally agree with you and I know what you mean completely. Personally, I don't think the locals should even bother to chime in because they have the same old canned responses: "maybe it's you", "obviously you've never been to NY (or fill in successful, fun, fast paced, educated area here)"... It's tiresome. Just what you would expect from them. It's like they can't even see it, and many have not lived elsewhere - how sad!

The way I get through it is to remind myself that D.C. is just a small part the journey for most of us. It does not have to be the destination! Take as much vacation as you can and get out as often as you can. It reminds you that the real world is nothing like this. It saves you from the depression that the locals wallow in. Just look at their responses! And their faces! You can tell al local a mile away. They are generally not accommodating, kind, sympathetic, warm or considerate. They are pissed! And they think that is okay. I'd like to see them in the real world - LOL! Anyway, we'll be gone before we turn into the likes of them, don't worry. I send you hugs and virtual cheers to being from a nice place - and perhaps someday getting back there - or anywhere else!

Op here. I loved your response. Hugs and Virtual cheers back atcha!!

Considering the OP has lived here for over half her life (I'm guessing), I think she's pretty settled here and about as local as the majority of posters to this thread. I'm the poster who pointed out people in this area refuse to adjust their thinking and calling it home. I'm by no means local, but sometimes you have to make shift in your attitude and outlook.