Is 47 too old for a man to start a family?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Old men breeding have a much higher risk of having autistic kids and other maladies. Sorry...you missed the boat.

this is false, its the old women (past 35) that cause the greatest risk.

There is no proof whether maternal or material advanced age is a higher risk. Both are over 50%, some studies state 80% risk for autism. I was 27 and my exH was 38 our child was born autistic.

*maternal or paternal. The downside is both are bad

Stop posting false equivalencies. Older men and older women do not face the same reproductive biology or the same risk profile.

Women are born with all the eggs they will ever have. Those eggs age from birth onward, which is why fertility declines over time and why miscarriage and chromosomal abnormality risks rise significantly after 35 and especially after 40.

Men continuously produce new sperm throughout life. Paternal age can modestly raise risks for certain conditions, but it is not remotely the same biological issue as aging eggs.

And the comparison becomes even more ridiculous when people ignore that many women cannot naturally conceive in their late 50s, while many men still can father children.

Bottom line: men make new sperm, women rely on eggs that have aged since birth. Totally different biology, totally different risk model.

Please go read up or consult what fertility specialists write on this before writing this nonsense. Advanced paternal age is as risky for abnormalities as advanced maternal age. Producing new semen doesn't mean that their "product" is as fresh at 47 as it was at 20 yo. It is proven that the number of genetic abnormalities increases in that new semen as the man ages. In other words, the new semen is "corrupt" with various DNA deviations, not necessarily healthy. it's also way slower than in younger age for men. These swimmers are full of genetic material and the material is old and deviant when it comes from an old man. IVF clinics are well aware of that - the semen speed in older men is very low, they are barely able to penetrate the eggs.

So scientifically speaking, there is no hard proof what's worse: advanced maternal or advanced paternal age. There is a theory that the "corrupt" male cells can still fertilize healthy eggs thus "infecting" them with a whole spectrum of genetic deviations related to father's older age. These babies will be born, will appear healthy on the outside but will carry various mental disorders.

To the contrary, a "corrupt old" female egg most likely won't fertilize or will result is miscarriage thus risks of older mothers having unhealthy babies is not that high in reality.

+100

The risk of autism, Down syndrome and schizophrenia greatly increase as fathers age due to poor sperm quality. If you want to do this go the ivf route and have everything screened.

Stop spreading false information to push an anti male narrative. Advanced paternal age and advanced maternal age are not medically equivalent, and pretending they are misleads women about real fertility risks.

Yes, male age can modestly affect sperm quality and slightly raise risks for some conditions. But female age has the far larger, well-established impact on fertility, miscarriage, IVF success, chromosomal abnormalities, and pregnancy complications. That is why fertility specialists focus so heavily on maternal age after 35 and especially after 40.

The Down syndrome claim is especially misleading. Maternal age is the primary age-related risk factor, not paternal age.

ACOG: https://www.acog.org/womens-health/faqs/having-a-baby-after-age-35-how-aging-affects-fertility-and-pregnancy

CDC: https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/birthdefects/downsyndrome.html

And the obvious reality check: many women in their late 50s cannot naturally conceive, while many men that age still can father children. These are different biological systems with different aging curves.

Bottom line: male age matters some, female age matters far more in practical reproductive medicine. Stop pushing false equivalence to score ideological points.

Male-factor infertility is 50%.

That statistic is being misused. "Male-factor infertility is 50%" does not mean male age creates the same reproductive risk as female age, or that men and women contribute equally in every case.

What it usually means is male factors are involved in about half of infertile couples, either alone or together with female factors. That includes issues like low count, motility, varicocele, hormones, genetics, lifestyle, obesity, smoking, or combined infertility. It is not a statement that a 50 year old man equals a 40 year old woman biologically.

Female age remains the most powerful age-related fertility variable because egg quantity and egg quality decline over time, sharply accelerating in the late 30s and 40s. Men often remain fertile much longer, even if sperm parameters decline gradually.

So quoting "50%" here is a dodge. Male-factor infertility prevalence is not the same thing as age-related reproductive risk equivalence.

The mere fact of being still fertile at 50 doesn’t mean these men don’t have higher risk of giving their babies mental disorders - see above NIH data that advanced paternal age is about as risky as advanced maternal. Just in different ways

[Anonymous]

You OP are indeed too something to have kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It doesn’t sound like you’ve thought anything through - not in your 20s, not in your 30s and not now, at 47.

Just stop. Don’t bite off more than you can chew.

There are probably some very valid reasons you didn’t get married or have kids. And it’s not that “you worked too much.” That’s an outcome of other things, values, personality, disorders. And women know that.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How much money do you have?

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, ignore all the bitter women on this board. They don’t want to see you happy. Family life of many of these women are failures. Many are divorced and on their second or third marriages and some cannot find a husband.

Its best if you marry a family values woman from West Virginia or Arkansas. My buddy is with a fine lady from Arkansas after his first marriage and he is doing great.

I live in Midwest and have seen multiple men on dating apps twice and trice divorced. Still looking in their late 50s-early 60s. These marriages are perfect on the surface or only a few years (5 max). Statistically, large age gap marriage is much higher divorce risk than between age peers. This is just dry statistics not from your buddy from Arkansas

AI Overview
Studies show that larger age gaps between spouses significantly increase divorce risks. A 5-year gap sees an 18% higher chance, a 10-year gap 39% higher, and a 20-year gap raises the risk by 95% compared to couples close in age. Increased risks are often linked to differing life stages, values, and financial goals.
www.genevafamilylaw.com
www.genevafamilylaw.com
+3
Divorce Risk by Age Gap (Based on Study Findings)
1-Year Gap: ~3% higher risk
5-Year Gap: 18% higher risk
10-Year Gap: 39% higher risk
20-Year Gap: 95% higher risk
30-Year Gap: 172% higher risk
www.genevafamilylaw.com
www.genevafamilylaw.com
+3
Key Factors Contributing to Higher Risk
Differing Life Stages/Goals: Partners may differ on priorities like having children, career focus, or retirement planning.

I would like to see a study that controls for the presence of existing children. I've seen age gap marriages work where neither had children. It's the existence of older children and ex-wives who compete for time and resources that creates the most challenges. A successful 47-year-old with no baggage has a much better chance of making a marriage to a 32-year-old work than a 47-year-old with three kids and an ex-wife - that guy has child support, COLLEGE, alimony, future grandchildren, etc. Remove the baggage and he might be a catch if he's fit, successful, kind.

Read please - it’s being on different stages of life what creates challenges not adult kids or ex wives. Child support is laughable in the US and most divorced dads who remarry are largely absent from their first families lives

Adult kids and then grandkids mark different life stages. If a 47-year-old and a 32-year-old have their first child together, they are in the new-parent life stage together. But if the 47-year-old has a married kid and another kid in college when he starts a new family, then he's in a totally different life stage, and the 32-year-old will resent him for making her old before her time. She'll resent that she's a new parent by herself, and she'll realize when he has a grandchild that he is freaking old! And then she'll leave. Anecdotally, I've seen that happen. So I stand by my point that the existence of older kids and an ex-wife are more likely the cause of failed second marriages than an age gap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, ignore all the bitter women on this board. They don’t want to see you happy. Family life of many of these women are failures. Many are divorced and on their second or third marriages and some cannot find a husband.

Its best if you marry a family values woman from West Virginia or Arkansas. My buddy is with a fine lady from Arkansas after his first marriage and he is doing great.

I live in Midwest and have seen multiple men on dating apps twice and trice divorced. Still looking in their late 50s-early 60s. These marriages are perfect on the surface or only a few years (5 max). Statistically, large age gap marriage is much higher divorce risk than between age peers. This is just dry statistics not from your buddy from Arkansas

AI Overview
Studies show that larger age gaps between spouses significantly increase divorce risks. A 5-year gap sees an 18% higher chance, a 10-year gap 39% higher, and a 20-year gap raises the risk by 95% compared to couples close in age. Increased risks are often linked to differing life stages, values, and financial goals.
www.genevafamilylaw.com
www.genevafamilylaw.com
+3
Divorce Risk by Age Gap (Based on Study Findings)
1-Year Gap: ~3% higher risk
5-Year Gap: 18% higher risk
10-Year Gap: 39% higher risk
20-Year Gap: 95% higher risk
30-Year Gap: 172% higher risk
www.genevafamilylaw.com
www.genevafamilylaw.com
+3
Key Factors Contributing to Higher Risk
Differing Life Stages/Goals: Partners may differ on priorities like having children, career focus, or retirement planning.

I would like to see a study that controls for the presence of existing children. I've seen age gap marriages work where neither had children. It's the existence of older children and ex-wives who compete for time and resources that creates the most challenges. A successful 47-year-old with no baggage has a much better chance of making a marriage to a 32-year-old work than a 47-year-old with three kids and an ex-wife - that guy has child support, COLLEGE, alimony, future grandchildren, etc. Remove the baggage and he might be a catch if he's fit, successful, kind.

Read please - it’s being on different stages of life what creates challenges not adult kids or ex wives. Child support is laughable in the US and most divorced dads who remarry are largely absent from their first families lives

Adult kids and then grandkids mark different life stages. If a 47-year-old and a 32-year-old have their first child together, they are in the new-parent life stage together. But if the 47-year-old has a married kid and another kid in college when he starts a new family, then he's in a totally different life stage, and the 32-year-old will resent him for making her old before her time. She'll resent that she's a new parent by herself, and she'll realize when he has a grandchild that he is freaking old! And then she'll leave. Anecdotally, I've seen that happen. So I stand by my point that the existence of older kids and an ex-wife are more likely the cause of failed second marriages than an age gap.

Jesus it’s the age gap ! When she’s 40 she will stop sleeping with husband who is 55.

It’s all about sex in the first place

[Anonymous]

This ship has sailed.

[Anonymous]

I'm a 48-year old father of two teenagers. Don't do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, ignore all the bitter women on this board. They don’t want to see you happy. Family life of many of these women are failures. Many are divorced and on their second or third marriages and some cannot find a husband.

Its best if you marry a family values woman from West Virginia or Arkansas. My buddy is with a fine lady from Arkansas after his first marriage and he is doing great.

I live in Midwest and have seen multiple men on dating apps twice and trice divorced. Still looking in their late 50s-early 60s. These marriages are perfect on the surface or only a few years (5 max). Statistically, large age gap marriage is much higher divorce risk than between age peers. This is just dry statistics not from your buddy from Arkansas

AI Overview
Studies show that larger age gaps between spouses significantly increase divorce risks. A 5-year gap sees an 18% higher chance, a 10-year gap 39% higher, and a 20-year gap raises the risk by 95% compared to couples close in age. Increased risks are often linked to differing life stages, values, and financial goals.
www.genevafamilylaw.com
www.genevafamilylaw.com
+3
Divorce Risk by Age Gap (Based on Study Findings)
1-Year Gap: ~3% higher risk
5-Year Gap: 18% higher risk
10-Year Gap: 39% higher risk
20-Year Gap: 95% higher risk
30-Year Gap: 172% higher risk
www.genevafamilylaw.com
www.genevafamilylaw.com
+3
Key Factors Contributing to Higher Risk
Differing Life Stages/Goals: Partners may differ on priorities like having children, career focus, or retirement planning.

I would like to see a study that controls for the presence of existing children. I've seen age gap marriages work where neither had children. It's the existence of older children and ex-wives who compete for time and resources that creates the most challenges. A successful 47-year-old with no baggage has a much better chance of making a marriage to a 32-year-old work than a 47-year-old with three kids and an ex-wife - that guy has child support, COLLEGE, alimony, future grandchildren, etc. Remove the baggage and he might be a catch if he's fit, successful, kind.

Read please - it’s being on different stages of life what creates challenges not adult kids or ex wives. Child support is laughable in the US and most divorced dads who remarry are largely absent from their first families lives

Adult kids and then grandkids mark different life stages. If a 47-year-old and a 32-year-old have their first child together, they are in the new-parent life stage together. But if the 47-year-old has a married kid and another kid in college when he starts a new family, then he's in a totally different life stage, and the 32-year-old will resent him for making her old before her time. She'll resent that she's a new parent by herself, and she'll realize when he has a grandchild that he is freaking old! And then she'll leave. Anecdotally, I've seen that happen. So I stand by my point that the existence of older kids and an ex-wife are more likely the cause of failed second marriages than an age gap.

Jesus it’s the age gap ! When she’s 40 she will stop sleeping with husband who is 55.

It’s all about sex in the first place

New topic again.

47 yo OP has said nothing about his sexual or casual or romantic or long term relationships the last 30 years.
Let’s assume there were none.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, ignore all the bitter women on this board. They don’t want to see you happy. Family life of many of these women are failures. Many are divorced and on their second or third marriages and some cannot find a husband.

Its best if you marry a family values woman from West Virginia or Arkansas. My buddy is with a fine lady from Arkansas after his first marriage and he is doing great.

I live in Midwest and have seen multiple men on dating apps twice and trice divorced. Still looking in their late 50s-early 60s. These marriages are perfect on the surface or only a few years (5 max). Statistically, large age gap marriage is much higher divorce risk than between age peers. This is just dry statistics not from your buddy from Arkansas

AI Overview
Studies show that larger age gaps between spouses significantly increase divorce risks. A 5-year gap sees an 18% higher chance, a 10-year gap 39% higher, and a 20-year gap raises the risk by 95% compared to couples close in age. Increased risks are often linked to differing life stages, values, and financial goals.
www.genevafamilylaw.com
www.genevafamilylaw.com
+3
Divorce Risk by Age Gap (Based on Study Findings)
1-Year Gap: ~3% higher risk
5-Year Gap: 18% higher risk
10-Year Gap: 39% higher risk
20-Year Gap: 95% higher risk
30-Year Gap: 172% higher risk
www.genevafamilylaw.com
www.genevafamilylaw.com
+3
Key Factors Contributing to Higher Risk
Differing Life Stages/Goals: Partners may differ on priorities like having children, career focus, or retirement planning.

I would like to see a study that controls for the presence of existing children. I've seen age gap marriages work where neither had children. It's the existence of older children and ex-wives who compete for time and resources that creates the most challenges. A successful 47-year-old with no baggage has a much better chance of making a marriage to a 32-year-old work than a 47-year-old with three kids and an ex-wife - that guy has child support, COLLEGE, alimony, future grandchildren, etc. Remove the baggage and he might be a catch if he's fit, successful, kind.

Read please - it’s being on different stages of life what creates challenges not adult kids or ex wives. Child support is laughable in the US and most divorced dads who remarry are largely absent from their first families lives

Adult kids and then grandkids mark different life stages. If a 47-year-old and a 32-year-old have their first child together, they are in the new-parent life stage together. But if the 47-year-old has a married kid and another kid in college when he starts a new family, then he's in a totally different life stage, and the 32-year-old will resent him for making her old before her time. She'll resent that she's a new parent by herself, and she'll realize when he has a grandchild that he is freaking old! And then she'll leave. Anecdotally, I've seen that happen. So I stand by my point that the existence of older kids and an ex-wife are more likely the cause of failed second marriages than an age gap.

Jesus it’s the age gap ! When she’s 40 she will stop sleeping with husband who is 55.

It’s all about sex in the first place

New topic again.

47 yo OP has said nothing about his sexual or casual or romantic or long term relationships the last 30 years.
Let’s assume there were none.

If he has zero long term relationship experience he should assume divorce will be imminent. Particular with a large age gap.
People are nuts suggesting he hurriedly marries a 20-30 yo woman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, ignore all the bitter women on this board. They don’t want to see you happy. Family life of many of these women are failures. Many are divorced and on their second or third marriages and some cannot find a husband.

Its best if you marry a family values woman from West Virginia or Arkansas. My buddy is with a fine lady from Arkansas after his first marriage and he is doing great.

I live in Midwest and have seen multiple men on dating apps twice and trice divorced. Still looking in their late 50s-early 60s. These marriages are perfect on the surface or only a few years (5 max). Statistically, large age gap marriage is much higher divorce risk than between age peers. This is just dry statistics not from your buddy from Arkansas

AI Overview
Studies show that larger age gaps between spouses significantly increase divorce risks. A 5-year gap sees an 18% higher chance, a 10-year gap 39% higher, and a 20-year gap raises the risk by 95% compared to couples close in age. Increased risks are often linked to differing life stages, values, and financial goals.
www.genevafamilylaw.com
www.genevafamilylaw.com
+3
Divorce Risk by Age Gap (Based on Study Findings)
1-Year Gap: ~3% higher risk
5-Year Gap: 18% higher risk
10-Year Gap: 39% higher risk
20-Year Gap: 95% higher risk
30-Year Gap: 172% higher risk
www.genevafamilylaw.com
www.genevafamilylaw.com
+3
Key Factors Contributing to Higher Risk
Differing Life Stages/Goals: Partners may differ on priorities like having children, career focus, or retirement planning.

I would like to see a study that controls for the presence of existing children. I've seen age gap marriages work where neither had children. It's the existence of older children and ex-wives who compete for time and resources that creates the most challenges. A successful 47-year-old with no baggage has a much better chance of making a marriage to a 32-year-old work than a 47-year-old with three kids and an ex-wife - that guy has child support, COLLEGE, alimony, future grandchildren, etc. Remove the baggage and he might be a catch if he's fit, successful, kind.

Read please - it’s being on different stages of life what creates challenges not adult kids or ex wives. Child support is laughable in the US and most divorced dads who remarry are largely absent from their first families lives

Adult kids and then grandkids mark different life stages. If a 47-year-old and a 32-year-old have their first child together, they are in the new-parent life stage together. But if the 47-year-old has a married kid and another kid in college when he starts a new family, then he's in a totally different life stage, and the 32-year-old will resent him for making her old before her time. She'll resent that she's a new parent by herself, and she'll realize when he has a grandchild that he is freaking old! And then she'll leave. Anecdotally, I've seen that happen. So I stand by my point that the existence of older kids and an ex-wife are more likely the cause of failed second marriages than an age gap.

You are very wrong. I was married to someone 11 years older. He resented me for looking ugly and old next to me; for me wanting to do things (he just wanted to stay back home work in the garden); for us having different energy levels and me wanting a different type of sex than what he could give. All his friends were older couples and he was very selfish in day to day life. And a very bad father to our only child. No kids from prior marriage and he was making a lot of money.
I “grew out” the marriage and filed for divorce in my mid 40s when I got tired of walking eggshells.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, ignore all the bitter women on this board. They don’t want to see you happy. Family life of many of these women are failures. Many are divorced and on their second or third marriages and some cannot find a husband.

Its best if you marry a family values woman from West Virginia or Arkansas. My buddy is with a fine lady from Arkansas after his first marriage and he is doing great.

I live in Midwest and have seen multiple men on dating apps twice and trice divorced. Still looking in their late 50s-early 60s. These marriages are perfect on the surface or only a few years (5 max). Statistically, large age gap marriage is much higher divorce risk than between age peers. This is just dry statistics not from your buddy from Arkansas

AI Overview
Studies show that larger age gaps between spouses significantly increase divorce risks. A 5-year gap sees an 18% higher chance, a 10-year gap 39% higher, and a 20-year gap raises the risk by 95% compared to couples close in age. Increased risks are often linked to differing life stages, values, and financial goals.
www.genevafamilylaw.com
www.genevafamilylaw.com
+3
Divorce Risk by Age Gap (Based on Study Findings)
1-Year Gap: ~3% higher risk
5-Year Gap: 18% higher risk
10-Year Gap: 39% higher risk
20-Year Gap: 95% higher risk
30-Year Gap: 172% higher risk
www.genevafamilylaw.com
www.genevafamilylaw.com
+3
Key Factors Contributing to Higher Risk
Differing Life Stages/Goals: Partners may differ on priorities like having children, career focus, or retirement planning.

I would like to see a study that controls for the presence of existing children. I've seen age gap marriages work where neither had children. It's the existence of older children and ex-wives who compete for time and resources that creates the most challenges. A successful 47-year-old with no baggage has a much better chance of making a marriage to a 32-year-old work than a 47-year-old with three kids and an ex-wife - that guy has child support, COLLEGE, alimony, future grandchildren, etc. Remove the baggage and he might be a catch if he's fit, successful, kind.

Read please - it’s being on different stages of life what creates challenges not adult kids or ex wives. Child support is laughable in the US and most divorced dads who remarry are largely absent from their first families lives

Adult kids and then grandkids mark different life stages. If a 47-year-old and a 32-year-old have their first child together, they are in the new-parent life stage together. But if the 47-year-old has a married kid and another kid in college when he starts a new family, then he's in a totally different life stage, and the 32-year-old will resent him for making her old before her time. She'll resent that she's a new parent by herself, and she'll realize when he has a grandchild that he is freaking old! And then she'll leave. Anecdotally, I've seen that happen. So I stand by my point that the existence of older kids and an ex-wife are more likely the cause of failed second marriages than an age gap.

Jesus it’s the age gap ! When she’s 40 she will stop sleeping with husband who is 55.

It’s all about sex in the first place

New topic again.

47 yo OP has said nothing about his sexual or casual or romantic or long term relationships the last 30 years.
Let’s assume there were none.

Which is still better than the fornicating relationships.

[Anonymous]

No, not too old—my neighbor is in his early 50s. He has 11 kids total: four with his first wife and seven with his second. Their ages are 24, 22, 20 ( adult kids w/wife #1), 17, 16, 14, 12, 10, 10 (he had another child with his ex-wife wife while married to his second—both girls were born in the same month), plus 8 and 5. All are happy and healthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, ignore all the bitter women on this board. They don’t want to see you happy. Family life of many of these women are failures. Many are divorced and on their second or third marriages and some cannot find a husband.

Its best if you marry a family values woman from West Virginia or Arkansas. My buddy is with a fine lady from Arkansas after his first marriage and he is doing great.

I live in Midwest and have seen multiple men on dating apps twice and trice divorced. Still looking in their late 50s-early 60s. These marriages are perfect on the surface or only a few years (5 max). Statistically, large age gap marriage is much higher divorce risk than between age peers. This is just dry statistics not from your buddy from Arkansas

AI Overview
Studies show that larger age gaps between spouses significantly increase divorce risks. A 5-year gap sees an 18% higher chance, a 10-year gap 39% higher, and a 20-year gap raises the risk by 95% compared to couples close in age. Increased risks are often linked to differing life stages, values, and financial goals.
www.genevafamilylaw.com
www.genevafamilylaw.com
+3
Divorce Risk by Age Gap (Based on Study Findings)
1-Year Gap: ~3% higher risk
5-Year Gap: 18% higher risk
10-Year Gap: 39% higher risk
20-Year Gap: 95% higher risk
30-Year Gap: 172% higher risk
www.genevafamilylaw.com
www.genevafamilylaw.com
+3
Key Factors Contributing to Higher Risk
Differing Life Stages/Goals: Partners may differ on priorities like having children, career focus, or retirement planning.

I would like to see a study that controls for the presence of existing children. I've seen age gap marriages work where neither had children. It's the existence of older children and ex-wives who compete for time and resources that creates the most challenges. A successful 47-year-old with no baggage has a much better chance of making a marriage to a 32-year-old work than a 47-year-old with three kids and an ex-wife - that guy has child support, COLLEGE, alimony, future grandchildren, etc. Remove the baggage and he might be a catch if he's fit, successful, kind.

Read please - it’s being on different stages of life what creates challenges not adult kids or ex wives. Child support is laughable in the US and most divorced dads who remarry are largely absent from their first families lives

Adult kids and then grandkids mark different life stages. If a 47-year-old and a 32-year-old have their first child together, they are in the new-parent life stage together. But if the 47-year-old has a married kid and another kid in college when he starts a new family, then he's in a totally different life stage, and the 32-year-old will resent him for making her old before her time. She'll resent that she's a new parent by herself, and she'll realize when he has a grandchild that he is freaking old! And then she'll leave. Anecdotally, I've seen that happen. So I stand by my point that the existence of older kids and an ex-wife are more likely the cause of failed second marriages than an age gap.

Jesus it’s the age gap ! When she’s 40 she will stop sleeping with husband who is 55.

It’s all about sex in the first place

Not true. If he's hot and rich and has no baggage, the chemistry could last. For women, chemistry is killed by resentment - in regular marriage, it's often over unfair division of labor, in second marriages, it's that plus adult kids and ex-wives. Nothing kills a woman's attraction to her husband like baggage. That is why second marriages with new families and age gaps fail. A 15-year age gap with no other issues could work, especially if he is a strong provider - that's something that women value. People who are in love also still see their spouse as they were when they first met - you just choose to wear rose colored glasses. I chose to see my husband as he was when we were both young and hot. If she loves him, she may always see him as his 47-year-old self, and some argue that, for fit, successful men, that is when they are at peak attraction because they are at the height of their careers, and if they keep themselves physically fit, they are prime. Lock it in at 47, and she may still love you when you're 60. But bring in baggage, and it's probably going to fail. This OP claims to have no baggage, and I think he still has a chance at love and a family, especially if he spent all that time earning, saving, and investing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, ignore all the bitter women on this board. They don’t want to see you happy. Family life of many of these women are failures. Many are divorced and on their second or third marriages and some cannot find a husband.

Its best if you marry a family values woman from West Virginia or Arkansas. My buddy is with a fine lady from Arkansas after his first marriage and he is doing great.

I live in Midwest and have seen multiple men on dating apps twice and trice divorced. Still looking in their late 50s-early 60s. These marriages are perfect on the surface or only a few years (5 max). Statistically, large age gap marriage is much higher divorce risk than between age peers. This is just dry statistics not from your buddy from Arkansas

AI Overview
Studies show that larger age gaps between spouses significantly increase divorce risks. A 5-year gap sees an 18% higher chance, a 10-year gap 39% higher, and a 20-year gap raises the risk by 95% compared to couples close in age. Increased risks are often linked to differing life stages, values, and financial goals.
www.genevafamilylaw.com
www.genevafamilylaw.com
+3
Divorce Risk by Age Gap (Based on Study Findings)
1-Year Gap: ~3% higher risk
5-Year Gap: 18% higher risk
10-Year Gap: 39% higher risk
20-Year Gap: 95% higher risk
30-Year Gap: 172% higher risk
www.genevafamilylaw.com
www.genevafamilylaw.com
+3
Key Factors Contributing to Higher Risk
Differing Life Stages/Goals: Partners may differ on priorities like having children, career focus, or retirement planning.

I would like to see a study that controls for the presence of existing children. I've seen age gap marriages work where neither had children. It's the existence of older children and ex-wives who compete for time and resources that creates the most challenges. A successful 47-year-old with no baggage has a much better chance of making a marriage to a 32-year-old work than a 47-year-old with three kids and an ex-wife - that guy has child support, COLLEGE, alimony, future grandchildren, etc. Remove the baggage and he might be a catch if he's fit, successful, kind.

Read please - it’s being on different stages of life what creates challenges not adult kids or ex wives. Child support is laughable in the US and most divorced dads who remarry are largely absent from their first families lives

Adult kids and then grandkids mark different life stages. If a 47-year-old and a 32-year-old have their first child together, they are in the new-parent life stage together. But if the 47-year-old has a married kid and another kid in college when he starts a new family, then he's in a totally different life stage, and the 32-year-old will resent him for making her old before her time. She'll resent that she's a new parent by herself, and she'll realize when he has a grandchild that he is freaking old! And then she'll leave. Anecdotally, I've seen that happen. So I stand by my point that the existence of older kids and an ex-wife are more likely the cause of failed second marriages than an age gap.

You are very wrong. I was married to someone 11 years older. He resented me for looking ugly and old next to me; for me wanting to do things (he just wanted to stay back home work in the garden); for us having different energy levels and me wanting a different type of sex than what he could give. All his friends were older couples and he was very selfish in day to day life. And a very bad father to our only child. No kids from prior marriage and he was making a lot of money.
I “grew out” the marriage and filed for divorce in my mid 40s when I got tired of walking eggshells.

That's you. I have a friend whose husband is 14 years older and is jacked up on testosterone and running a company. He's definitely not lower energy. Where you are probably universally right is with shared friends. My friend and I hang out with other women our age, but my husband and I rarely hang out with my friend and her husband as a couple. My husband doesn't click with him, and he'll go to a dinner or something that I plan, but not with much enthusiasm. I think he has his friends and she has her friends, and they don't have many mutual friends. I know she doesn't care for the wives of his friends, as we've talked a little about how they all have adult kids and are talking about weddings and even grandchildren, and she's like, " No, not my life, my kids are in elementary school. This is an issue, and it's preferable to be in a marriage with shared friends, but I don't think it's the worst issue. If you're 32-35 and still not married, many women, including smart, successful, and pretty women, will look past a 10 or even 15-year age gap if he's otherwise a great guy. It's just biological clocks at work. If he's not a great guy, no. Women with resources will choose to have IVF and be a single mom by choice. See Michelle Kwan - she just had her second baby as a single mom by choice.