Reply to Is 47 too old for a man to start a family?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op, ignore all the bitter women on this board. They don’t want to see you happy. Family life of many of these women are failures. Many are divorced and on their second or third marriages and some cannot find a husband.

Its best if you marry a family values woman from West Virginia or Arkansas. My buddy is with a fine lady from Arkansas after his first marriage and he is doing great.[/quote]

I live in Midwest and have seen multiple men on dating apps twice and trice divorced. Still looking in their late 50s-early 60s. These marriages are perfect on the surface or only a few years (5 max). Statistically, large age gap marriage is much higher divorce risk than between age peers. This is just dry statistics not from your buddy from Arkansas

AI Overview
Studies show that larger age gaps between spouses significantly increase divorce risks. A 5-year gap sees an 18% higher chance, a 10-year gap 39% higher, and a 20-year gap raises the risk by 95% compared to couples close in age. Increased risks are often linked to differing life stages, values, and financial goals. 
www.genevafamilylaw.com
www.genevafamilylaw.com
 +3
Divorce Risk by Age Gap (Based on Study Findings)
1-Year Gap: ~3% higher risk
5-Year Gap: 18% higher risk
10-Year Gap: 39% higher risk
20-Year Gap: 95% higher risk
30-Year Gap: 172% higher risk 
www.genevafamilylaw.com
www.genevafamilylaw.com
 +3
Key Factors Contributing to Higher Risk
Differing Life Stages/Goals: Partners may differ on priorities like having children, career focus, or retirement planning.
[/quote]

I would like to see a study that controls for the presence of existing children.  I've seen age gap marriages work where neither had children.  It's the existence of older children and ex-wives who compete for time and resources that creates the most challenges.  A successful 47-year-old with no baggage has a much better chance of making a marriage to a 32-year-old work than a 47-year-old with three kids and an ex-wife - that guy has child support, COLLEGE, alimony, future grandchildren, etc.  Remove the baggage and he might be a catch if he's fit, successful, kind. [/quote]

Read please - it’s being on different stages of life what creates challenges not adult kids or ex wives. Child support is laughable in the US and most divorced dads who remarry are largely absent from their first families lives [/quote]

Adult kids and then grandkids mark different life stages.  If a 47-year-old and a 32-year-old have their first child together, they are in the new-parent life stage together.  But if the 47-year-old has a married kid and another kid in college when he starts a new family, then he's in a totally different life stage, and the 32-year-old will resent him for making her old before her time.   She'll resent that she's a new parent by herself, and she'll realize when he has a grandchild that he is freaking old! And then she'll leave.  Anecdotally, I've seen that happen. So I stand by my point that the existence of older kids and an ex-wife are more likely the cause of failed second marriages than an age gap.  [/quote]

Jesus it’s the age gap ! When she’s 40 she will stop sleeping with husband who is 55.

It’s all  about sex in the first place

[/quote]

Not true.  If he's hot and rich and has no baggage, the chemistry could last.  For women, chemistry is killed by resentment - in regular marriage, it's often over unfair division of labor, in second marriages, it's that plus adult kids and ex-wives.  Nothing kills a woman's attraction to her husband like baggage.  That is why second marriages with new families and age gaps fail.  A 15-year age gap with no other issues could work, especially if he is a strong provider - that's something that women value.  People who are in love also still see their spouse as they were when they first met - you just choose to wear rose colored glasses.  I chose to see my husband as he was when we were both young and hot.  If she loves him, she may always see him as his 47-year-old self, and some argue that, for fit, successful men, that is when they are at peak attraction because they are at the height of their careers, and if they keep themselves physically fit, they are prime.  Lock it in at 47, and she may still love you when you're 60.  But bring in baggage, and it's probably going to fail.  This OP claims to have no baggage, and I think he still has a chance at love and a family, especially if he spent all that time earning, saving, and investing.    [/quote]

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