At what age you should downsize?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents did in late 50s but mostly because they were selling the larger parcel of land the house was on (25 acres in a growing metro area). Now they're 75 and 78 and my dad is dead set on building a new house and driving my mom nuts.

He is correct. New homes are not quality like they used to be. Unless he hires the Amish to build it now, good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it depends on your health and how big your house is. If you have an 8000SF home in McLean, maybe you downsize when the kids are in college/done with college.

If you have a 3000 or 4000SF house with a first floor master suite, I would think there's no urgency unless you need the equity out of it or don't want to pay for cleaning and lawn care as you get older.

Lol, 3-4k sf house is not a small house. Particularly if you're cleaning it yourself.

Does anyone still clean their house themselves?

Yes. Almost 65. I do. And the house is large. I divide it up, doing something every day. I also am in the process of mulching all the gardens - PROPERLY. I lay down landscape paper to handle the weeds, and only use cedar mulch. Cedar repels ticks and lasts 2-3 years over the shredded hardwood. The paper will break down over time, as will the weeds, and add to the soil, which is generally crappy here. I have hip issues on one side, but move it or lose it, as they say. My husband does help with the cleaning. We will probably get someone once a month as we age to really do that deep clean of our bathroom and kitchen. As for clearing old things from the house, I am doing room by room these days, starting with closets and cabinets, so the stuff I DO want to keep, I’ll have room for. I do sell online, so one bedroom upstairs is now storage for what I sell. I use shelves and clear bins to store, carefully labeled. This first cleaning sweep will to get rid of things we want to toss, donate, etc. I’m taking a HARD look at the decor and getting rid of stuff as well. When we built this house in 2000, I chose with selling in mind. Hardwood flooring throughout, extra waterproofing in the basement, neutral colors and all hardwood cabinets. As a result, I’ve had architects come in and say “base of the kitchen is great. Change X and Y to update and you’re done” Same with bathrooms. Neutral, not trendy is the way to go when building

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:75?

Neither my parents nor inlaws are there yet and they're all around 70. They still host holidays, dinners and use their whole homes. Annoyingly enough both own 2-3 homes. Inlaws have 2 vacation homes and a regular home, and my parents have a home near my sibling and a home near me.

What would be ideal is if they cleared out closets, spare room drawers, attics, basements. I don't think they should have to downsize things they use and love.

We've also looked at retirement homes with my parents. What they want is medium sized yards, large kitchens, large family room, large master bed and bath. Instead, all of it is tiny and non luxurious in smaller homes. Both sets have worked their whole lives for nice things and don't really want to be in a little dorm room with 30 year old kitchens. Cooking, gardening, and hosting dinners are their main hobbies.

I’m almost 65. EXACTLY what I’m starting to do!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We did it at 51. Best decision ever.

Not OP here. What did you downsize to and from? We’re empty nesters with kids in college looking for a house. We’re still looking for a family-sized home around 4-5000sf to have space for kids to come back during vacations, live at home after college if they want to, have space for grandparents who come to visit or may need to stay for extended periods, have parties, etc. Do people not do this anymore as soon as the kids graduate high school?

[Anonymous]

One big issue becomes people don't realize when they are slowly fading and a house can gradually fall into disrepair. This isn't about greedy adult children wanting an inheritance. It's about having to take leave from work you may not have and leave kids who could have special needs/challenging teenage issues or whatever/leave a spouse who may have his or her own health issues by then and spend a month sorting junk, hiring contractors, finding a realtor and dealing with the elder's emergency. Nobody is shoving you out of your house this second, but everyone should be decluttering, throwing out, shredding and donating in retirement when able bodied.

Some of us have elders who led much easier lives than we lead and will likely live to an older age than we will. More and more people find they are facing their own serious health issues right when the sh*t hits the fan for their 90 year old mom who spend decades leading the good life and just could not bring herself to shred her taxes, etc from the 1960s onward and she has been hoarding "antiques" in the basement in boxes that are worthless and just collect dust and she has clothing she could never donate even though it has not fit since she was 22.

[Anonymous]

Once they pass, it's easy to get rid of stuff. Hire a company, get a dumpster. When they aren't around to second-guess decisions, it's not that hard

Also not that hard if they have already moved somewhere else. They bring only what they need to the new place. See if they ask for anything during the next year - chances are: out of sight out of mind. Their inaction is an answer. Do whatever you want with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We did it at 51. Best decision ever.

Did you just get rid of stuff or actually move out?

[Anonymous]

The problem is, the ones that should move out, don’t. I mean the profoundly disabled, like my neighbor, who is trying to push HER neighbors into being her caretakers. She fell a couple weeks ago and called me to come help her up (got news for you - at 350+ lbs that would not have happened anyway). I wasn’t not near my phone and didn’t hear it ring. She was mad at me for not ‘being there’. She has also told me not to sell my house and leave her alone with no help. Very wealthy, can hire out, but doesn’t. I love her as a friend but am beginning to resent her attitude. She can’t see it’s selfish as hell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are downsizing now in our 50s. I thought I kept up with donating/shredding and all that and this is taking hours and hours. We will do it again in our 60s. We are determined to break the cycle and not be selfish expecting our kids to do all the work. We went through it and we want to do everything possible to enjoy our adult children and the families they create. We are doing our part in the hopes our kids with stay close friends and we don't want to be a burden. Our next big move after this one will be in our 60s or early 70s will be to a CCRC.

60s or early 70s seems young for a CCRC. I know a lot of people in that age group who are very fit and healthy and like living in an area with people of all ages living around them. I think more people than in the past are staying strong and active, both mentally and physically, to an older age now.

If you go into a high end CcRC, they are wonderful. Independent living can be a condo/apartment or a single story "house" or duplex with golf cart rides to the main bldg. The reason it's wonderful is there is so much to do, so many dining choices and you don't have to worry about anything else.
Trust me, plenty of residents are still mentally and physically storng. My parents place they have 4 people over 100 currently in IL, 2 of them being men which is unusually (normally it's the women who outlive their husbands)

These places go on field trips to interesting things, drive you to doctor appts and shopping, etc so everything is in place if/when you need more

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did it at 58. Downsized from a 5'3" 200 pounder to something more in the 5'2, 125 lb range. My advice: don't wait too long! I think I would have a harder time pulling it off now.

Gross

[Anonymous]

We’re in CA where many homes are one story and if you’ve lived in it more than 6 years has a ton of equity. Ideally, I would love to downsize from our 3000 square foot house in a top school district to a 1800- 2000 square foot house in a more walkable and less family/school focused area.

1. We have over the past five years replaced most everything..kitchen, bathrooms, floors refinished, painted, roof, electrical, hvac etc. I really don’t want to jump back into this. As we’re not flippers, I know things were done up to code and done well. Even if we buy a remodeled house that looks turn key, it’s likely a flipper or developer cut a bunch of corners. My favorite are houses in Berkeley or the areas adjacent in Oakland. Full house beautifully remodeled….but never closed their permits, never addressed the foundation etc.

2. Realtor fees. Watching realtors take 5% of a $4M sale for doing nothing is too hard to stomach.

3. Cap gains. If we own the house until we die, the kids don’t pay cap gains.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did it at 58. Downsized from a 5'3" 200 pounder to something more in the 5'2, 125 lb range. My advice: don't wait too long! I think I would have a harder time pulling it off now.

SAME : 57, 230 to 190. Eat a lot of protein and lift heavy weights. And downsize if you have no kids in college any longer. But wait until a few of them start their own lives and can host events.