Elementary drop off and working parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I both flexed our schedules. I went in early so I could leave early enough to pick up from aftercare. DH went in later after dropping kids off at school and then worked later.

I think most of the parents we know did some version of this. Those who can't use the before-care.

And, yes, PSA for working parents looking at buying a house. Zero value in being walkable to an elementary school. But we're walkable to the HS and MS and that is awesome.

Agreed. Walkable to an elementary school is awful. We are like 5 houses down from our school, on the same side of the street. My kids are not allowed to walk home alone until 4th grade, even if they're together or with their older sibling. I've adjusted my work hours to be there (telework), but occasionally I have meetings and it would be nice if they could come home by themselves. Everyone I know has a bus stop that's further and those kids are allowed to just walk home alone- why not my kids?!?!?! I absolutely would not buy a home near an elementary school if I had to do it over. Buses also give you an extra 30 min on each side, which really helps school hours match work hours.

The bolded is absolutely insane. I would be fighting tooth and nail against this. What are people smoking?? When I was a kid, close by KINDERGARTENERS walked to and from school without parents. A THIRD GRADER can't walk home with her fifth grade brother, five houses down, no street crossing??

Honestly, I'd reach out to Lenore Skenazy (the Let Grow woman who fights for childhood independence) and get her help fighting this. Absolutely obscene. No wonder all the college kids are anxious. Eight years ago they weren't allowed to walk down the street!

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.

Its absolutely insane.. you get CPS involved if your 7yo walks to school alone? I walked 2 miles as a Kindergartner with my 7yo brother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It seems a little late to be learning this harsh reality, but when both parents have jobs with long hours and can’t work remotely, childcare is always an issue. That’s why many parents have completely reoriented their jobs around kids. This isn’t school’s fault.

“long hours” ie, normal work hours? 9-5?

We prioritized my career because we were a modern family and I wanted be impactful in my career. My DH was all onboard to be equal partner etc. Fast forward a decade, and I don’t give a rat a$$ about my career, but daddy tracking my DH career means the big breadwinner role isnt happening and I cant SAH.

I thought we would be able to telework or similar things, we had kids in the 21st century after all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:flex schedule. Mostly I do dropoff/pickup, sometimes DH

Your career doesnt suffer from missing the first 2 hours of workday (we start many meetings at 8am — i dial in but am the only person remote for these meetings).

Sometimes I do calls/meetings at drop off and definitely at pick up. My career doesn't suffer.

How do you contribute to meetings with the chorus of kids running and car traffic noises? What industry are you in, are working moms common?

I'm in ag tech, so women probably aren't that common. I have a good mic that pretty much only pics up my voice if I'm talking and otherwise mutes.

[Anonymous]

I put my kids over my career. None of our kids ever did before care, or after care. I worked part time so they never had to do that, because I had emotionally neglectful parents who were so wrapped up in themselves they didn't engage me much. I was just there, a piece of furniture, a pawn pushed around and dumped off by parents with narcissistic tendencies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How much is before care? We only need 30 minutes of aftercare 3x a week and it's $400 a month for the county aftercare. Just another reason parents are broke.

Parents have been doing this precovid for centuries

Just because you were able to take work from home and watch the kids doesn't mean you get to have pre and aftercare for free now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems a little late to be learning this harsh reality, but when both parents have jobs with long hours and can’t work remotely, childcare is always an issue. That’s why many parents have completely reoriented their jobs around kids. This isn’t school’s fault.

“long hours” ie, normal work hours? 9-5?

We prioritized my career because we were a modern family and I wanted be impactful in my career. My DH was all onboard to be equal partner etc. Fast forward a decade, and I don’t give a rat a$$ about my career, but daddy tracking my DH career means the big breadwinner role isnt happening and I cant SAH.

I thought we would be able to telework or similar things, we had kids in the 21st century after all.

This. I work 7:30-4 with a 25 minute commute. DH works 9:30-5 with a 10 minute commute. His day is less than 8 hours, and between the two of us we still can't get an adult there at 3:30 PM every day.

Only two more years until my responsible 11 year old is legally allowed to babysit a younger sibling for 2 hours a week With telework, they could just walk home and hang out for a few minutes until I finished up. No more!

[Anonymous]

OP, your kid not preferring before care is no reason to be making sacrifices to your career, is no reason to be adding stress to your day.

[Anonymous]

I'm a Grandparent and babysit frequently. There is no way I'd find it reasonable to be relied on daily for drop off just because my Grandchildren don't *prefer* before care

[Anonymous]

9:48 & 9:52 again and btw, as soon as they can walk to school, they walk without you. For those that can take a bus, they take the bus. And no, you do not have to wait at the bus stop w/ them. Working parents today are making parenting way too hard

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I both flexed our schedules. I went in early so I could leave early enough to pick up from aftercare. DH went in later after dropping kids off at school and then worked later.

I think most of the parents we know did some version of this. Those who can't use the before-care.

And, yes, PSA for working parents looking at buying a house. Zero value in being walkable to an elementary school. But we're walkable to the HS and MS and that is awesome.

Agreed. Walkable to an elementary school is awful. We are like 5 houses down from our school, on the same side of the street. My kids are not allowed to walk home alone until 4th grade, even if they're together or with their older sibling. I've adjusted my work hours to be there (telework), but occasionally I have meetings and it would be nice if they could come home by themselves. Everyone I know has a bus stop that's further and those kids are allowed to just walk home alone- why not my kids?!?!?! I absolutely would not buy a home near an elementary school if I had to do it over. Buses also give you an extra 30 min on each side, which really helps school hours match work hours.

The bolded is absolutely insane. I would be fighting tooth and nail against this. What are people smoking?? When I was a kid, close by KINDERGARTENERS walked to and from school without parents. A THIRD GRADER can't walk home with her fifth grade brother, five houses down, no street crossing??

Honestly, I'd reach out to Lenore Skenazy (the Let Grow woman who fights for childhood independence) and get her help fighting this. Absolutely obscene. No wonder all the college kids are anxious. Eight years ago they weren't allowed to walk down the street!

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.

Its absolutely insane.. you get CPS involved if your 7yo walks to school alone? I walked 2 miles as a Kindergartner with my 7yo brother.

Then they wonder why their 28 year old is failure to launch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a Grandparent and babysit frequently. There is no way I'd find it reasonable to be relied on daily for drop off just because my Grandchildren don't *prefer* before care

This is partly why it is so hard for parents today

Grandmothers were our evolutionary leveling up: https://humans.sciencearray.com/grandmothers-evolution-greatest-innovation

But now they have their own lives and cant be bothered to help their offspring thrive

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:9:48 & 9:52 again and btw, as soon as they can walk to school, they walk without you. For those that can take a bus, they take the bus. And no, you do not have to wait at the bus stop w/ them. Working parents today are making parenting way too hard

The school doesnt allow it till 5th grade for walkers The bus driver wont release under 4th grade at a stop without a parent present. Experienced this first hand.

[Anonymous]

private or public school. What county?

[Anonymous]

No, Grandmothers not being there IS not the problem. Not allowing a 3rd grader to walk < a mile to school is the problem. And similar - tighter restrictions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I put my kids over my career. None of our kids ever did before care, or after care. I worked part time so they never had to do that, because I had emotionally neglectful parents who were so wrapped up in themselves they didn't engage me much. I was just there, a piece of furniture, a pawn pushed around and dumped off by parents with narcissistic tendencies.

You should probably talk to a therapist about that if you haven't already. My kids are upset when I pick them up too early because aftercare is free play time with their friends.