Elementary drop off and working parents

[Anonymous]

We teamed up with two other families to manage the before/after school trips. It was...imperfect... but the kids got to school safe enough and the parents kept their jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I put my kids over my career. None of our kids ever did before care, or after care. I worked part time so they never had to do that, because I had emotionally neglectful parents who were so wrapped up in themselves they didn't engage me much. I was just there, a piece of furniture, a pawn pushed around and dumped off by parents with narcissistic tendencies.

You should probably talk to a therapist about that if you haven't already. My kids are upset when I pick them up too early because aftercare is free play time with their friends.

This varies on aftercare director and student population. One kid had a short tempered director with mostly out of control boys in aftercare and it was Lord of Flies. Another child begged to get to aftercare and hang with friends even though we could pick up with some planning.

[Anonymous]

In our neighborhood,it seems like most families have at least 1 parent who is SAH or WFH and can do the bus. Then a small percentage do beforecare. For what it’s worth, I am WFH and I still hate the late elementary start because even working from home I don’t get to sit down and work til 9:15 or so!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, your kid not preferring before care is no reason to be making sacrifices to your career, is no reason to be adding stress to your day.

We can't all quit our jobs to accommodate our kids preferences but saying they should get no weight seems sad to me too. Plenty of parents who are able do things like staggered schedules or staggered WFH days to reduce time in before/aftercare. Some kids thrive more in certain contexts than others.

[Anonymous]

Make before care work this year and then see what you can do for next school year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I put my kids over my career. None of our kids ever did before care, or after care. I worked part time so they never had to do that, because I had emotionally neglectful parents who were so wrapped up in themselves they didn't engage me much. I was just there, a piece of furniture, a pawn pushed around and dumped off by parents with narcissistic tendencies.

What if you were a single parent? I can’t just work PT. We’d be homeless.

[Anonymous]

I think late mornings are less disruptive than a 2:10/2:40 end time to schools. No one in a regular job can end work at 2:30 to get their kids. You'd have to work shift work or part time to make that schedule.

I think we could make schools better if they ran 8 hours a day. Kids scores aren't exactly great these days, so maybe everyone could use an extra hour of tutoring

[Anonymous]

Switch off days or weeks with a spouse or partner.

Hire a student or other parent/caregiver to walk kids for number of days necessary.

Find other parents near you who are in same situation and set up a schedule (if two parents that is once a week for three people and twice a week for one person, rotate this and you should only have to do twice a week one time a month).

Schedule your take to school days for days you can work at home or if you can an alternate schedule for the day you are off.

One spouse/partner has a more flexible schedule and can work later or on weekends or have phone meetings in the car rather then in person so day can start immediately after drop off.

Whether you are a one or two parent family, if you have no flexibility in your arrival time and no way to sort help (paid or not) then there aren't many choices other than before care.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely switch off with your partner. No reason why you should be late every day. Additionally, find a neighborhood parent who can take your child in for however long. Pay them or just provide breakfast. If neither of these things are an option, your child will have to deal with before care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our local elementary schools start at 9am.

We tried before care, but it was almost empty and kid found it depressing. Too young and too far to walk to school on own (no bus).

How are working parents handling this? Do they get to work around 930/945? Have a crazy short commute so 845 drop off and get to work by 9? Hiring nannies or local grandparents for mornings?

My career has definitely suffered by being the morning drop off; somedays I dont get until 10 which hurts.

Really? Your kid didn't like before care because it was empty? Send your child to before care with a good book / art supplies / a deck of cards. They'll be fine. I would not remove my child from before or after care unless there was (1) a safety issue or (2) bullying

[Anonymous]

We are a small single lane neighborhood of 45 homes in MoCo. One neighbor who lives steps away from the bus-stop at the entrance of the street, provides before-care from 6:30 am till bus comes.

She has three kids. Before care consists of - sitting in her family room watching TV until the bus comes. Oh, she is an immigrant. Does not charge anything. She has the phone number of the school, bus depot and the driver.

She will ask the kids if they have had breakfast, tells them to finish their homework if they have work left, and she will ask them to check if they have their lunchbox. She will lend rain ponchos, coats, hats, umbrellas - to the kids. She has a covered porch and she also keeps water bottles in a cooler and snacks for the delivery people during summer.

She is a gem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish we had a bus — its almost 3/4 of a mile which is too far for a 2nd grader alone, and a bus would pickup much earlier; her classmates bus comes at 815!

So I guess we should have made sure we werent in walk zone of the school in retrospect — lesson for others

I'm sorry but you are INSANE. People pay a lot of money to live walking distance from their elementary school. I loved being within walking distance to school when I was a child so much that I made sure we were able to do the same for our kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish we had a bus — its almost 3/4 of a mile which is too far for a 2nd grader alone, and a bus would pickup much earlier; her classmates bus comes at 815!

So I guess we should have made sure we werent in walk zone of the school in retrospect — lesson for others

I'm sorry but you are INSANE. People pay a lot of money to live walking distance from their elementary school. I loved being within walking distance to school when I was a child so much that I made sure we were able to do the same for our kids.

+1 we're in the walk zone for our ES and there is an uplift in price from it for our neighborhood. Most people want this. But everyone on this thread just wants to glorify inflexible employers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish we had a bus — its almost 3/4 of a mile which is too far for a 2nd grader alone, and a bus would pickup much earlier; her classmates bus comes at 815!

So I guess we should have made sure we werent in walk zone of the school in retrospect — lesson for others

I'm sorry but you are INSANE. People pay a lot of money to live walking distance from their elementary school. I loved being within walking distance to school when I was a child so much that I made sure we were able to do the same for our kids.

+1 we're in the walk zone for our ES and there is an uplift in price from it for our neighborhood. Most people want this. But everyone on this thread just wants to glorify inflexible employers.

We are walkers to all our schools-ES, MS and HS. I feel you OP-mine didn’t like before care either. Fortunately I have a short commute so I could swing dropping off around 8:45 when carpool started and could still get to work right after 9. It was the afternoon that was a problem for my younger one. He didn’t like aftercare but had to suck it up until he was old enough to walk home alone and only had to endure it two days a week since my husband has flexibility to work from home. Being walkers without a bus is limiting- even though my ES kid is old enough to walk to and from alone if the weather is bad or super super cold I’ll take leave to pick him up from time to time. Covid flexibilities made this so much easier but those are all gone now

[Anonymous]

I figured out this stuff when I was in my 20s and saw my friends suffering.

So I waited until I was in my 40s to have kids . I was the boss by then and could set my hours.

It is amazing to me how people don't think ahead.