How often do YOU hang out with friends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Full time working mom with young high schooler and older elementary kid. I see my friends several times a week. Just to stop by their house or mine for a drink or chat. I watch a show with 1 friend so we have a standing weekly date to watch that after kids are asleep. Dropping coffee off on a weekend morning, etc. We might have bigger plans going to a restaurant or bar or event every other month or so but just seeing each other and nurturing our village is enough. Our kids are all various ages but love each other and enjoy spending time together because we have made our friendships a priority. It’s very confusing to me to hear others say they don’t prioritize their friendships because I don’t understand how you can get through parenthood or adulthood without a solid and reliable support system.

It’s not because I don’t prioritize, but there are not enough hours in the day. Job is very demanding and I cook most every night and there are always chores to be done, etc. Husband helps too but he is also always working (biglaw) and/or traveling for work. And kids have tons of HW and activities as well.

I mean, you are prioritizing cooking every night, doing chores, and spending time with your kids. I'm not saying none of those things are important, I'm saying you are choosing to prioritize them instead of eating out with friends, hiring household help, and letting your kids work on homework at home while you grab a drink with a friend. So yes, you are prioritizing the things that are important to you, and that's fine. But you are prioritizing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

It’s not because I don’t prioritize, but there are not enough hours in the day. Job is very demanding and I cook most every night and there are always chores to be done, etc. Husband helps too but he is also always working (biglaw) and/or traveling for work. And kids have tons of HW and activities as well.

I do these things as well. It’s a matter of fitting things into the life you want. Kids can do homework at your friends house. You can plan a quick dinner for nights you plan to see your friends. Drop kid at activity and catch up with your friend until you have to pick them up. Delegate chores to other family members. There is no reason to feel isolated.

[ZachF]

I work full time and hang out with friends about twice a week. At least once. We catch live music nearly every weekend and dinners during the week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Full time working mom with young high schooler and older elementary kid. I see my friends several times a week. Just to stop by their house or mine for a drink or chat. I watch a show with 1 friend so we have a standing weekly date to watch that after kids are asleep. Dropping coffee off on a weekend morning, etc. We might have bigger plans going to a restaurant or bar or event every other month or so but just seeing each other and nurturing our village is enough. Our kids are all various ages but love each other and enjoy spending time together because we have made our friendships a priority. It’s very confusing to me to hear others say they don’t prioritize their friendships because I don’t understand how you can get through parenthood or adulthood without a solid and reliable support system.

My friendships are mostly online and via telephone. We do have a support system, just not in person. I volunteer and exercise in addition to working full time and raising kids so in person time is rare.

Do you not do either of these activities with friends?

No other than the occasional walk

[Anonymous]

ZachF wrote:I work full time and hang out with friends about twice a week. At least once. We catch live music nearly every weekend and dinners during the week.

How old are your kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:YOU can get together online with those friends, too, even if you are far away. If people want to remain friends, they will.

This. Whatsapp bridges everyone.

[Anonymous]

I try to get together with a friend/group for lunch or dinner twice a month by myself.
And I am in touch through text with 2 friends pretty much every other day.
(I don’t cook / clean everyday.)
I work full time, have a hs kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious about the people who get together with friends at least once a week. Do you work full time? If so, how do you have the time?

I will give an example - this week I’m meeting someone I’ve never met before because we have a ton in common (a mutual friend connected us). Will meet her for coffee one morning this week after kid drop off (we both have flexible work schedules). Friday night I have an invitation to a gathering at a friend’s house but I likely won’t go because it’s a 40 minute drive and I’m unmotivated to that on a Friday night after a long week, but I can play by ear.

Next week I have 2 dinners on the books with friends and a potential lunch next weekend - Tuesday, Friday and Saturday. Because I know ahead of time what time and day, I work with my kids and DH at the beginning of the week to figure out homework schedules etc. This way we have a plan and if there is something they need my help with, we work around my social stuff. I also plan the dinners around my kids activities so they are on the later side if it’s on a weeknight- like 7pm. If it’s a late activity night I work out a carpool or I just don’t plan things for evenings my kids have late activities.

I will say my closest friends are who are like family that I talk to almost daily do not live nearby, so we do vacations with them on spring break and summer break. I don’t have local friends that I see once a week, but I do have a lot of friends in the area, so I would say that with most friends I see them maybe once a month, some twice a month, some every few months, but I have quite a bit of good friends in the area to make time for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Full time working mom with young high schooler and older elementary kid. I see my friends several times a week. Just to stop by their house or mine for a drink or chat. I watch a show with 1 friend so we have a standing weekly date to watch that after kids are asleep. Dropping coffee off on a weekend morning, etc. We might have bigger plans going to a restaurant or bar or event every other month or so but just seeing each other and nurturing our village is enough. Our kids are all various ages but love each other and enjoy spending time together because we have made our friendships a priority. It’s very confusing to me to hear others say they don’t prioritize their friendships because I don’t understand how you can get through parenthood or adulthood without a solid and reliable support system.

My friendships are mostly online and via telephone. We do have a support system, just not in person. I volunteer and exercise in addition to working full time and raising kids so in person time is rare.

Do you not do either of these activities with friends?

No other than the occasional walk

PP here. Doing that stuff with friends is a way I can stay in touch with them. It doesn't work with everyone or even all the time, but just a thought. If you exercise at home, for example, maybe a once-a-week pickleball game or something at a gym. Anyway, just my two cents. You seem ok with your set up and I also have friends who are long-distance so I get it.

[Anonymous]

For a board that has a lot of posters claim they’re introverts, this thread seems filled with extroverts.

I text with several friends regularly but definitely am not physically meeting up with them weekly. Good for everyone who has such a big social battery.

[Anonymous]

Introvert here with very few actual friends. Kids in college/HS. See people regularly at HS-kid sport events. Actual friends? At best, once a month. Text with friends all the time. Am friendly with work colleagues so get plenty of social time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For a board that has a lot of posters claim they’re introverts, this thread seems filled with extroverts.

I text with several friends regularly but definitely am not physically meeting up with them weekly. Good for everyone who has such a big social battery.

Everything you read on here is questionable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious about the people who get together with friends at least once a week. Do you work full time? If so, how do you have the time?

I will give an example - this week I’m meeting someone I’ve never met before because we have a ton in common (a mutual friend connected us). Will meet her for coffee one morning this week after kid drop off (we both have flexible work schedules). Friday night I have an invitation to a gathering at a friend’s house but I likely won’t go because it’s a 40 minute drive and I’m unmotivated to that on a Friday night after a long week, but I can play by ear.

Next week I have 2 dinners on the books with friends and a potential lunch next weekend - Tuesday, Friday and Saturday. Because I know ahead of time what time and day, I work with my kids and DH at the beginning of the week to figure out homework schedules etc. This way we have a plan and if there is something they need my help with, we work around my social stuff. I also plan the dinners around my kids activities so they are on the later side if it’s on a weeknight- like 7pm. If it’s a late activity night I work out a carpool or I just don’t plan things for evenings my kids have late activities.

I will say my closest friends are who are like family that I talk to almost daily do not live nearby, so we do vacations with them on spring break and summer break. I don’t have local friends that I see once a week, but I do have a lot of friends in the area, so I would say that with most friends I see them maybe once a month, some twice a month, some every few months, but I have quite a bit of good friends in the area to make time for.

Sounds absolutely....exhausting.

[Anonymous]

I'm older but I see my friends weekly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For a board that has a lot of posters claim they’re introverts, this thread seems filled with extroverts.

I text with several friends regularly but definitely am not physically meeting up with them weekly. Good for everyone who has such a big social battery.

You don't understand the difference between introverts and extroverts.