How often do YOU hang out with friends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. I’m so amazed at how much time you all have to meet friends. I have an older DC in high school and I’m still driving him around to practices or helping with HW. I find that I have less time now then when kids were little bc now all activities have shifted to later at night. Now I can only meet friends for lunch and they’re in the same boat as well. And usually every couple of weeks or once a month.

Why are you discounting meeting for lunch? I love a long lunch with friends to catch up and talk about the world.

If you have a demanding job, or your friend does, this isn't as easy ...

PP said "I can only meet friends for lunch" -- so they are meeting for lunch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Last time I did was 1998. Once married it is not a thing.

Opposite here. I never met people for lunch until after I was married.

[Anonymous]

work full time but unemployed now, probably once every 2 months

[Anonymous]

Full time working mom with young high schooler and older elementary kid. I see my friends several times a week. Just to stop by their house or mine for a drink or chat. I watch a show with 1 friend so we have a standing weekly date to watch that after kids are asleep. Dropping coffee off on a weekend morning, etc. We might have bigger plans going to a restaurant or bar or event every other month or so but just seeing each other and nurturing our village is enough. Our kids are all various ages but love each other and enjoy spending time together because we have made our friendships a priority. It’s very confusing to me to hear others say they don’t prioritize their friendships because I don’t understand how you can get through parenthood or adulthood without a solid and reliable support system.

[Anonymous]

SAHM here. For one year another Mom friend and I were really in sync. She had 3 younger than K, I had 2. We were at one another's house most weekdays or stopped by. We ran each other's errands. We picked up each other's kids from preschool. We practically co-parented.
Her husband got transferred and that ended.

Then friend time with other friends was done at a co-op playgroup, the attached playground, and a very occasional other activity

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious about the people who get together with friends at least once a week. Do you work full time? If so, how do you have the time?

Yes I work full time (until 6) but not double full time (routinely until 8/9). When I had a job that required 10-12 hour days it was much harder to socialize unless it was friends from work.

Working until 6 means I can meet friends for dinner at 6:30 or 7 after work, and be home by 10.

I did change the nature of my job to something with more regular hours because I was unhappy with my lack of energy to keep up my friendships.

[Anonymous]

Retired. One group activity a week, and 3 weekly meetups w/a different friend each time. Very consistent. Have another half a dozen friends I meet up with individually probably quarterly, some yearly. Some every 5 years. A rare 30 to 45 min phone date, I like that but not on zoom. I'm just itching to get off if it's zoom. Overall I'm not advancing a relationship if I can't see them IRL, at least some.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious about the people who get together with friends at least once a week. Do you work full time? If so, how do you have the time?

Yes, with full time. We get together at 9am on Saturday for coffee (don't have little kids with weekend morning activities). It's an evolution of seeing each other on Saturdays on the sidelines of soccer games.

[Anonymous]

As in: no kids, no husbands, and a coffee or lunch chat during a work day doesn’t count?

About once a month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Full time working mom with young high schooler and older elementary kid. I see my friends several times a week. Just to stop by their house or mine for a drink or chat. I watch a show with 1 friend so we have a standing weekly date to watch that after kids are asleep. Dropping coffee off on a weekend morning, etc. We might have bigger plans going to a restaurant or bar or event every other month or so but just seeing each other and nurturing our village is enough. Our kids are all various ages but love each other and enjoy spending time together because we have made our friendships a priority. It’s very confusing to me to hear others say they don’t prioritize their friendships because I don’t understand how you can get through parenthood or adulthood without a solid and reliable support system.

My friendships are mostly online and via telephone. We do have a support system, just not in person. I volunteer and exercise in addition to working full time and raising kids so in person time is rare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Full time working mom with young high schooler and older elementary kid. I see my friends several times a week. Just to stop by their house or mine for a drink or chat. I watch a show with 1 friend so we have a standing weekly date to watch that after kids are asleep. Dropping coffee off on a weekend morning, etc. We might have bigger plans going to a restaurant or bar or event every other month or so but just seeing each other and nurturing our village is enough. Our kids are all various ages but love each other and enjoy spending time together because we have made our friendships a priority. It’s very confusing to me to hear others say they don’t prioritize their friendships because I don’t understand how you can get through parenthood or adulthood without a solid and reliable support system.

It’s not because I don’t prioritize, but there are not enough hours in the day. Job is very demanding and I cook most every night and there are always chores to be done, etc. Husband helps too but he is also always working (biglaw) and/or traveling for work. And kids have tons of HW and activities as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious about the people who get together with friends at least once a week. Do you work full time? If so, how do you have the time?

I am a person who said I hang out with friends at least weekly.

I have a high schooler and middle schooler and I find these years to be the easiest for socializing. Kids can be left home alone as needed and have their own things going on.

-High schooler is about to drive and is getting her driver's license as soon as she's able to (she wanted to do this). She also goes to our local public and can walk home from school if needed and often gets rides or if she does need to be picked up, it's very quick. Her main activity is at the school. There is still some driving around on weeknights but pretty minimal...usually 1x a week. Social life on the weekend, she's often being driven by other teens. Once they all start driving or have older friends who drive, your time should really be freed up considerably.
-Middle school kid plays a club sport and does another sport recreationally. We have carpools. So driving some but plenty of times not driving. Both parents don't always attend all weekend games.
-Probably most important I have an equal partner spouse who does a lot. We divide and conquer and when one of us has plans, the other steps in.

And yes, I work full time.

Also to address person who said they are helping a HS kid with homework, I am not doing this at all. To be honest, I couldn't help. They are far past what I could do in math and the rest of it they have under control. I occasionally proofread or do a light edit on a paper that's about it.

I think helping HS kids with homework is unusual?

You definitely don’t know big 3 parents then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Full time working mom with young high schooler and older elementary kid. I see my friends several times a week. Just to stop by their house or mine for a drink or chat. I watch a show with 1 friend so we have a standing weekly date to watch that after kids are asleep. Dropping coffee off on a weekend morning, etc. We might have bigger plans going to a restaurant or bar or event every other month or so but just seeing each other and nurturing our village is enough. Our kids are all various ages but love each other and enjoy spending time together because we have made our friendships a priority. It’s very confusing to me to hear others say they don’t prioritize their friendships because I don’t understand how you can get through parenthood or adulthood without a solid and reliable support system.

I'm similar to you and the key is these quick and casual hangouts. That and making it a priority.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:SAHM here. For one year another Mom friend and I were really in sync. She had 3 younger than K, I had 2. We were at one another's house most weekdays or stopped by. We ran each other's errands. We picked up each other's kids from preschool. We practically co-parented.
Her husband got transferred and that ended.

Then friend time with other friends was done at a co-op playgroup, the attached playground, and a very occasional other activity

We do this with dinners with our neighborhood friends (we can all walk or golf cart to each other's houses). One family hosts dinner one night, then next week another family does it, etc. We'd all be eating dinner anyway, so we just do it this way, and while it's more work one time to make food for 10-12, it's way less work the other weeks when you just show up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Full time working mom with young high schooler and older elementary kid. I see my friends several times a week. Just to stop by their house or mine for a drink or chat. I watch a show with 1 friend so we have a standing weekly date to watch that after kids are asleep. Dropping coffee off on a weekend morning, etc. We might have bigger plans going to a restaurant or bar or event every other month or so but just seeing each other and nurturing our village is enough. Our kids are all various ages but love each other and enjoy spending time together because we have made our friendships a priority. It’s very confusing to me to hear others say they don’t prioritize their friendships because I don’t understand how you can get through parenthood or adulthood without a solid and reliable support system.

My friendships are mostly online and via telephone. We do have a support system, just not in person. I volunteer and exercise in addition to working full time and raising kids so in person time is rare.

Do you not do either of these activities with friends?