How often do YOU hang out with friends?

[Anonymous]

Wow. I’m so amazed at how much time you all have to meet friends. I have an older DC in high school and I’m still driving him around to practices or helping with HW. I find that I have less time now then when kids were little bc now all activities have shifted to later at night. Now I can only meet friends for lunch and they’re in the same boat as well. And usually every couple of weeks or once a month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A couple times a week on average.

Regularly with a couple friends - coffee once or twice a week before work, or a walk.

About once a week: weeknight dinner with a friend.

Maybe once or twice a month I'll do something on a Friday or Saturday night.

PP of the above post. I'll add that I have elementary kids and work full time, but I can work remote a few days a week so that helps a lot. If I was commuting every day I think it would probably be less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. I’m so amazed at how much time you all have to meet friends. I have an older DC in high school and I’m still driving him around to practices or helping with HW. I find that I have less time now then when kids were little bc now all activities have shifted to later at night. Now I can only meet friends for lunch and they’re in the same boat as well. And usually every couple of weeks or once a month.

I was about to comment that based on this thread, elementary school seems to be the sweet spot for being able to socialize (not exhausted by the all consuming energy required for little kids, but also not having to shuttle them around to all the various activities that teens have).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Short answer: lol, no.

Longer answer: I work full time in an exec role. My “social life” is waving at neighbors on walks, making pleasant small talk on bleachers, and occasionally locking eyes with another mom at a tournament like we should do dinner sometime… which we absolutely will not.

Friends without kids? Maybe a few times a year. And that’s if calendars align, children don’t have games, no one is sick, and Mercury isn’t in retrograde. “Saturday night plans” usually mean sweatpants, something half-watched on TV, and falling asleep mid-sentence.

I’m 100% mom during the week and most weekends. This season is just… this. I’m not complaining about it (I love my life, including my friends!). But, we don’t have any nearby family, and we work so hard that we try to be 100% in on our kids and family outside of work. My hypothesis is that anyone claiming weekly girls’ nights either has a live-in village, unlimited childcare, or is lying for the internet.

Not sure you’re actually interested in an answer but what people do is trade off with their spouses. Most adults are capable of watching children alone. Socializing with friends does not mean a person is not 100 percent in on kids and family.

+1 My kids are older now but when they were little, starting when youngest was a year old, I've always gone out to a church choir rehearsal one night a week. Not exactly "hang out with friends" but a lot of the group are friends. I could do this because DH was home with the kids. He never opted to have a similar weekly commitment but I'd have been fine with him doing that.

[Anonymous]

Empty nester. Work part time (unpaid). I/we have about five different groups who try to meet up regularly, plus several people I meet for lunch. Among them all, I probably have at least one social thing on my calendar weekly.

When I worked it was a weekly happy hour with friends.

When I SAH, I saw some friends pretty much daily, and others weekly, and 'further afield' friends 2-3 times per year at more formally planned parties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. I’m so amazed at how much time you all have to meet friends. I have an older DC in high school and I’m still driving him around to practices or helping with HW. I find that I have less time now then when kids were little bc now all activities have shifted to later at night. Now I can only meet friends for lunch and they’re in the same boat as well. And usually every couple of weeks or once a month.

Why are you discounting meeting for lunch? I love a long lunch with friends to catch up and talk about the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. I’m so amazed at how much time you all have to meet friends. I have an older DC in high school and I’m still driving him around to practices or helping with HW. I find that I have less time now then when kids were little bc now all activities have shifted to later at night. Now I can only meet friends for lunch and they’re in the same boat as well. And usually every couple of weeks or once a month.

Why are you discounting meeting for lunch? I love a long lunch with friends to catch up and talk about the world.

If you have a demanding job, or your friend does, this isn't as easy ...

[Anonymous]

I'm curious about the people who get together with friends at least once a week. Do you work full time? If so, how do you have the time?

[Anonymous]

Last time I did was 1998. Once married it is not a thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. I’m so amazed at how much time you all have to meet friends. I have an older DC in high school and I’m still driving him around to practices or helping with HW. I find that I have less time now then when kids were little bc now all activities have shifted to later at night. Now I can only meet friends for lunch and they’re in the same boat as well. And usually every couple of weeks or once a month.

Why are you discounting meeting for lunch? I love a long lunch with friends to catch up and talk about the world.

If you have a demanding job, or your friend does, this isn't as easy ...

Yes it is. I meet up with my one friend twice a year. We put it in our work Outlook calendars and block off time around a month ahead of time. But you have to plan it and book it and make it look like a important meeting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious about the people who get together with friends at least once a week. Do you work full time? If so, how do you have the time?

I am a person who said I hang out with friends at least weekly.

I have a high schooler and middle schooler and I find these years to be the easiest for socializing. Kids can be left home alone as needed and have their own things going on.

-High schooler is about to drive and is getting her driver's license as soon as she's able to (she wanted to do this). She also goes to our local public and can walk home from school if needed and often gets rides or if she does need to be picked up, it's very quick. Her main activity is at the school. There is still some driving around on weeknights but pretty minimal...usually 1x a week. Social life on the weekend, she's often being driven by other teens. Once they all start driving or have older friends who drive, your time should really be freed up considerably.
-Middle school kid plays a club sport and does another sport recreationally. We have carpools. So driving some but plenty of times not driving. Both parents don't always attend all weekend games.
-Probably most important I have an equal partner spouse who does a lot. We divide and conquer and when one of us has plans, the other steps in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious about the people who get together with friends at least once a week. Do you work full time? If so, how do you have the time?

I am a person who said I hang out with friends at least weekly.

I have a high schooler and middle schooler and I find these years to be the easiest for socializing. Kids can be left home alone as needed and have their own things going on.

-High schooler is about to drive and is getting her driver's license as soon as she's able to (she wanted to do this). She also goes to our local public and can walk home from school if needed and often gets rides or if she does need to be picked up, it's very quick. Her main activity is at the school. There is still some driving around on weeknights but pretty minimal...usually 1x a week. Social life on the weekend, she's often being driven by other teens. Once they all start driving or have older friends who drive, your time should really be freed up considerably.
-Middle school kid plays a club sport and does another sport recreationally. We have carpools. So driving some but plenty of times not driving. Both parents don't always attend all weekend games.
-Probably most important I have an equal partner spouse who does a lot. We divide and conquer and when one of us has plans, the other steps in.

And yes, I work full time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Last time I did was 1998. Once married it is not a thing.

lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious about the people who get together with friends at least once a week. Do you work full time? If so, how do you have the time?

I am a person who said I hang out with friends at least weekly.

I have a high schooler and middle schooler and I find these years to be the easiest for socializing. Kids can be left home alone as needed and have their own things going on.

-High schooler is about to drive and is getting her driver's license as soon as she's able to (she wanted to do this). She also goes to our local public and can walk home from school if needed and often gets rides or if she does need to be picked up, it's very quick. Her main activity is at the school. There is still some driving around on weeknights but pretty minimal...usually 1x a week. Social life on the weekend, she's often being driven by other teens. Once they all start driving or have older friends who drive, your time should really be freed up considerably.
-Middle school kid plays a club sport and does another sport recreationally. We have carpools. So driving some but plenty of times not driving. Both parents don't always attend all weekend games.
-Probably most important I have an equal partner spouse who does a lot. We divide and conquer and when one of us has plans, the other steps in.

And yes, I work full time.

Also to address person who said they are helping a HS kid with homework, I am not doing this at all. To be honest, I couldn't help. They are far past what I could do in math and the rest of it they have under control. I occasionally proofread or do a light edit on a paper that's about it.

I think helping HS kids with homework is unusual?

[Anonymous]

I think some people have marriages where they do everything together all the time or one parent really is expected to do the bulk of parenting. Wonder how many men are responding to this thread, if any.