Question about strip club payments

[Anonymous]

Just divorce him, oh my god.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP all this is really splitting hairs. Your DH spent more than $500 one night that you know of, going to a nude club and getting personal services that were sexual or orgasm-adjacent.
Do you think this is a way you want your spouse to act?
It may not be his virgin nudie club visit.
Either do a look the other way wife act or get a lawyer.
But a guy like this may not be planning on celebrating a 25th anniversary with you.

These are truly the choices. Pick one, OP.

I would leave him, personally, because this is an absurd use of $500 to me, but I think it's also reasonable to expect that if she's expected to look the other way, he's expected to be somewhat more discreet about his activities. I guess a "lap dance" in a city several states away is fairly discreet, but paying for it with his personal Venmo, in a way his wife found without too much effort, is not.

She went through his phone. You can't accuse him of having a problem with discretion because she "found [it] without too much effort" by going through his phone.

She didn't say she went through his phone. She said she had proof of payment and mentioned Venmo. Paying a stripper via Venmo is incredibly indiscreet.

What are you on about -- she specifically admitted she went through his phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - how pretty are you, and can you do a lap dance for him yourself? that would solve at least part of the issue.

Stop joking.

She is actually married to this loser.

Do you have a sister? Would you be laughing if she was OP?

Yes, and yes. But that is verging on off topic, lol. DP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH sent $500 directly to a stripper at a fully nude strip club in the Miami area—ie, did not pay this fee to the club directly. He claims Miami is expensive and that the payment was for a lap dance. I call BS. How much would a lap dance cost, would the cost be paid to the club or directly to the stripper via Venmo, how much would you tip a woman for a lap dance, and what is the most likely explanation? I have a hard time believing that an “innocent” lap dance costs $500 regardless of the geographical location.

He might have fell for the "champagne room" or "VIP" scam where they lure in men and women who are not familiar with the scam to a private room, on the hint of extras being performed, and they legally sell you a $5 bottle of Totts for $500 and the privacy of the room.

Real "extras" in clubs like that don't happen in the VIP room, but out in the open, subtle bj's and handjobs with the dancer or dancers hiding the activity from obvious view. They usually cost $20-50 for handies and blowies, and $100 for intercourse during a lapdance.

$500 sounds like he just got scammed while hoping for extra.

This is the opposite of the truth. Yet again someone on DCUM is just making random stuff up.

There is no hiding anything "from obvious view" on the floor of a strip club and bouncers are watching very closely. They aren't just watching to protect the dancers, they are watching to protect the club from dancers doing things that could hurt that club that could result in charges of facilitating solicitation and loss of their alcohol and/or business license.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$500. No way it was sex. Since he used Venmo he was being very reckless. My guess is a stripped gave him a 5-6 song private show and sat there while he Venmo’d her, with a big bouncer standing nearby ready to act if he refused to pay. It’s happened to the best of us…nothing you should let slide, but…

Lol that didn't happen. I think guys are trying to bro-code this post.
He paid for sex

+1
-- former dancer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:$500 is not getting him "full service" or even minor service in Miami. That's buying a few lap dances in a private room at most. In Miami Beach, city ordinances prevent serving alcohol at clubs that have full nudity, so the club can either do only topless (and then alcohol is OK), or do full nudity and then no alcohol. But the club and dancers have to make money, so if it's not overpriced drinks (which the dancers may get a cut from), then it's expensive lap dances.

The market price of "full service" in general in Miami (not in strip clubs) is $1k-2k for a decent looking woman.

If you object to your DH going to strip clubs, then you have a good case on your hands. But if he spent $500 and only $500, and it was in Miami, he didn't get that much out of it for that money.

(I work in finance so I know way too much about this)

Actually, for the club, it's cover charges.

[Anonymous]

I have had a few lap dances and never “gotten off” from one. Also given large tips and never touched dancer, had her touch me, let alone had sex with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have had a few lap dances and never “gotten off” from one. Also given large tips and never touched dancer, had her touch me, let alone had sex with her.

I’m seeing pigs flying out my window.

[Anonymous]

All the women here who think guys are getting off from lap dances must be married to premature ejaculators. Sorry, that’s a bummer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH sent $500 directly to a stripper at a fully nude strip club in the Miami area—ie, did not pay this fee to the club directly. He claims Miami is expensive and that the payment was for a lap dance. I call BS. How much would a lap dance cost, would the cost be paid to the club or directly to the stripper via Venmo, how much would you tip a woman for a lap dance, and what is the most likely explanation? I have a hard time believing that an “innocent” lap dance costs $500 regardless of the geographical location.

He might have fell for the "champagne room" or "VIP" scam where they lure in men and women who are not familiar with the scam to a private room, on the hint of extras being performed, and they legally sell you a $5 bottle of Totts for $500 and the privacy of the room.

Real "extras" in clubs like that don't happen in the VIP room, but out in the open, subtle bj's and handjobs with the dancer or dancers hiding the activity from obvious view. They usually cost $20-50 for handies and blowies, and $100 for intercourse during a lapdance.

$500 sounds like he just got scammed while hoping for extra.

$100 is not getting you intercourse in a lap dance in rural Appalachia, let alone Miami. These aren’t drugged up streetwalkers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have had a few lap dances and never “gotten off” from one. Also given large tips and never touched dancer, had her touch me, let alone had sex with her.

Sounds like a waste of time. Why are you compelled to keep ordering this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH sent $500 directly to a stripper at a fully nude strip club in the Miami area—ie, did not pay this fee to the club directly. He claims Miami is expensive and that the payment was for a lap dance. I call BS. How much would a lap dance cost, would the cost be paid to the club or directly to the stripper via Venmo, how much would you tip a woman for a lap dance, and what is the most likely explanation? I have a hard time believing that an “innocent” lap dance costs $500 regardless of the geographical location.

He might have fell for the "champagne room" or "VIP" scam where they lure in men and women who are not familiar with the scam to a private room, on the hint of extras being performed, and they legally sell you a $5 bottle of Totts for $500 and the privacy of the room.

Real "extras" in clubs like that don't happen in the VIP room, but out in the open, subtle bj's and handjobs with the dancer or dancers hiding the activity from obvious view. They usually cost $20-50 for handies and blowies, and $100 for intercourse during a lapdance.

$500 sounds like he just got scammed while hoping for extra.

This is the opposite of the truth. Yet again someone on DCUM is just making random stuff up.

There is no hiding anything "from obvious view" on the floor of a strip club and bouncers are watching very closely. They aren't just watching to protect the dancers, they are watching to protect the club from dancers doing things that could hurt that club that could result in charges of facilitating solicitation and loss of their alcohol and/or business license.

You obviously don't know anything about strip clubs. Sound like you are a manager at one just trying to look like they are on the up and up.

[Anonymous]

Update op? Did you confront him yet?