Childless women should get maternity leave

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Compared to my male co-workers, the women in my office carry most of the mental load and do all of the emotional labor. This increased stress recently caused me to snap at the office and I started crying in front of some of my direct reports. I don't have children but could really use a 90 day break to fully refresh. I think all women should get something similar to maternity leave, even if they don't have kids. How can I go about making this a policy in my office ?

Huh?

This is a joke, right??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s called short term disability. Maternity leave is for mothers (though often we have to take STD).

Don't abuse disability benefits like this.

What is wrong with people???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s called short term disability. Maternity leave is for mothers (though often we have to take STD).

Don't abuse disability benefits like this.

What is wrong with people???

Tell me you don't know what STD is, without telling me...

Short term disability is for any kind of illness. You can use it for surgery, hospitalization, and mental illness treatment. Please educate yourself!!!

[Anonymous]

WTF is your vagina having to do to recover from "mental load" OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree that everyone should get some time off of work, but don’t make the mistake of thinking maternity leave is a vacation or a refresh. It’s grueling work. I came back from maternity leave more stressed than when I left. Agree with the one of the posters above that you should utilize your vacation as much as you can, or take sabbatical if your company offers it.

Exactly this.

Birth is difficult, physically and mentally

Many women have surgical scars and stitches where you can't lift anything heavier than your baby and movement is limited.

Many women have tears and stitches in their nether regions that make it painful and nearly impossible to defacate or even sit unless there is an ice pack under their bottom.

Most women bleed for a month after childbirth.

Many women have post partum depression or even psychosis, due to hormone changes.

Many women are unable to get more than 2 consecutive hours of sleep, due to breast feeding or 3 hours due to bottle feeding.

Many women are engorged, infected milk ducts, bleeding nipples and squirting milk everywhere if they even think about their baby, until their bodies learn to regulate milk, around a month or two.

Many women are unable to even take daily shower that first month or two.

Many women cannot drive post child birth.

The list goes on.

To equate the aftermath of childbirth to some childless person wanting paid "me time" so they can luxuriate and spoil themselves on the company dime, is frankly, selfish, tone deaf, and disgusting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Maternity leave isn’t about “refreshing” OP … it’s about recovering from childbirth and caring for a newborn.

If you are having a mental health crisis you can ask for leave. I have a single friend who did this recently.

It's definitely possible. My wife took both maternity leave and STD when she was in the psych ward/partial hospitalization program.

Assuming she took maternity leave for the actual birth of a child?

Oh yeah, she took maternity for a kid and STD for psychological issues. My point was that there is a potential solution for mental health crisis, but it's different than maternity leave.

What OP is asking for is an extended psid time to take a vacation and spoil herself.

Thst is not even remotely close to your wife being committed for post partum psychosis.

Don't you dare make that comparison to your wife if you value your marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maternity leave isn’t about “refreshing” OP … it’s about recovering from childbirth and caring for a newborn.

If you are having a mental health crisis you can ask for leave. I have a single friend who did this recently.

This. Maternity leave is not refreshing. It's almost like you've never met, managed, or talked to a woman fresh off maternity leave. Do they seem refreshed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maternity leave isn’t about “refreshing” OP … it’s about recovering from childbirth and caring for a newborn.

If you are having a mental health crisis you can ask for leave. I have a single friend who did this recently.

This. Maternity leave is not refreshing. It's almost like you've never met, managed, or talked to a woman fresh off maternity leave. Do they seem refreshed?

Oh he did, but he is a troll, so......

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Compared to my male co-workers, the women in my office carry most of the mental load and do all of the emotional labor. This increased stress recently caused me to snap at the office and I started crying in front of some of my direct reports. I don't have children but could really use a 90 day break to fully refresh. I think all women should get something similar to maternity leave, even if they don't have kids. How can I go about making this a policy in my office ?

Don’t be daft. And how dare you co-opt bullshit buzzwords like “mental load” and “emotional labor?” Those aren’t even actual things in parenting, just weird terms invented by fragile women.

If you are having trouble coping with workplace stress, maybe see a therapist or take some leave. Or quit. But understand this is entirely a you problem. It’s not some broad societal phenomenon, just like the “mental load” nonsense is not some broad societal thing

I agree.

By saying women are "carrying the mental load and emotional labor at work" she is basically saying is women create all of the drama in the office, and are too fragile and volatile to be professional and appropriate in a professional setting.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Peri needs are just as legitimate but should be within a broader mental health category. I actually took a permanent step back at work bc of peri since my work has no good options for my situation and no possibility of a real long vacation.

They are not, and you know it.

Are you talking about peri menopause? Aka 2nd puberty? We expect our kids to go to school, learn huge amounts of information, play travel sports, take high stakes tests, do chores, etc. during puberty. You can do your desk job.
- a 48yr old mom of kids under 10 and caretaker of her elderly parents

DP. Yes, we expect that of our adolescents, but everything isn’t fine. Record numbers of kids and teens are suffering from anxiety, depression, and related illnesses.

It is no coincidence that many, if not most are living in a way that is in complete opposition to healthy circadian rhythms, healthy diet, relationships, expectations, and activity.

FFS are you expecting them to check out of life for the duration of puberty? I think you're a troll at this point.

False dichotomy. There are a lot of options in between checking out of life and the life that many adolescents are living these days, waking up at 5am, jam packed days with school, sports practice, all the ECs that DCUM types have their kids do because T20 or bust, rinse and repeat.

NP. Teenagers have been waking up at 5am since the dawn of time. You think kids one or two hundred years ago weren't waking up at 5AM and working all day? They were. Teenagers today do substantially less than they have at any other point in history.

5AM? I doubt it. Not in pitch blackness. And not accompanied by the same kind of pressure to succeed that kids have now. Physically kids were more active, yes. But why would we even want to compare kids today with kids who started working in mills etc when they were 5 years old.

Why do you think school districts are making changes to schedules to allow teens to sleep more? Is that just for giggles?

Have you seriously never questioned why in spite of all the industrial, agricultural, and scientific progress and efficiency gains, we are still locked into soul sucking 40-60 hours plus commute for decades? Seriously, who is system benefitting?

I’m sorry you are so entrenched that you are unable to envision any other way or why the current system is hurting people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Peri needs are just as legitimate but should be within a broader mental health category. I actually took a permanent step back at work bc of peri since my work has no good options for my situation and no possibility of a real long vacation.

They are not, and you know it.

Right, that’s what I am saying…

NP. Under what authority do you proclaim your expertise about perimenopause and its possible affects on health and wellbeing or lack thereof?

I have had several kids and one menopause


"Peri" needs are a cakewalk compared to childbirth and the aftermath

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maternity leave isn’t about “refreshing” OP … it’s about recovering from childbirth and caring for a newborn.

If you are having a mental health crisis you can ask for leave. I have a single friend who did this recently.

It's definitely possible. My wife took both maternity leave and STD when she was in the psych ward/partial hospitalization program.

Assuming she took maternity leave for the actual birth of a child?

Oh yeah, she took maternity for a kid and STD for psychological issues. My point was that there is a potential solution for mental health crisis, but it's different than maternity leave.

What OP is asking for is an extended psid time to take a vacation and spoil herself.

Thst is not even remotely close to your wife being committed for post partum psychosis.

Don't you dare make that comparison to your wife if you value your marriage.

Maybe OP is a male troll trying to make women look bad. There seems to be a lot of that going around here these days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah my childless female boss snarled at me "Must have been nice to take a three month vacation" the day I came back... sleep-deprived, had just stopped bleeding a couple weeks earlier, with painful bowling-ball breasts, and an emotional wreck. So hi boss!

I think the bleeding has some special stem cells, people are researching application for dementia management. Just don’t extend the future treatment to clueless men 🤣

It is not the men who are clueless. They might be bumbling, but they are usually quite deferrent to childbirth issues.

It is the childless women who are the issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Peri needs are just as legitimate but should be within a broader mental health category. I actually took a permanent step back at work bc of peri since my work has no good options for my situation and no possibility of a real long vacation.

They are not, and you know it.

Right, that’s what I am saying…

NP. Under what authority do you proclaim your expertise about perimenopause and its possible affects on health and wellbeing or lack thereof?

I don’t think anyone needs to explain to you that “peri” is not the same as childbirth and caring for a newborn.

Childcare is hard but the physical movement, standing up, carrying child are good for you. No one has gotten high LDL or blood sugar from running after kids. But sedatory office workers die from heart attack all the time.

So do some exercise and eat better.

and sure, tell those working moms of infants how good it is for them 😂

Hey this is not the suffering Olympics. You don’t need to minimize what someone else is going through just to be an ass.

Childbirth, recovery and caring for infants is exhausting, but it is of a limited duration of time.

Perimenopause can last years and be awful. For some people it’s a breeze, for others it is horrific. Spending hours each day commuting and sitting at a desk has a cumulative negative impact on health that is very serious if unaddressed.

After RTO I am out of the house about 12 hours a day. I need 9 hours of sleep to function well. That leaves me with 3 hours a day to do absolutely everything else including the care of my children. I do my best to eat well but where am I supposed to get in a workout? Throw in peri/menopause. I am white but now I see firsthand why so many WOC die young of strokes and such. RTO is sending us back 50 years.

Perimenopause is not even close to the rigors of childbirth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We work too much in the US. We need to have 4 day work weeks. And 6 weeks paid vacations like in Europe. Plus free healthcare.

Europeans don't accomplish anything.

USA work culture is the perfect balance between Europeans not working much at all, and Asians working all the time.