Working Moms and Do It All Expectation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:by saying that there was a division of labor and it was better when moms didn’t work and managed to single-handedly take care of kids needs, is still putting all the responsibility for child care on the women’s shoulder.

As a society, we decide what is important. Given that there is no minimum parental leave, affordable childcare, good before / aftercare options, we have decided as a society that having children is not valued. The moms lamenting are a result of that. But it’s not the feminists to blame, it’s all of us as a society because these are our values: families and children are not priority for us as a society. It’s that simple.

At the same time society still wants increasing population, growing economy and well funded social security.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:by saying that there was a division of labor and it was better when moms didn’t work and managed to single-handedly take care of kids needs, is still putting all the responsibility for child care on the women’s shoulder.

As a society, we decide what is important. Given that there is no minimum parental leave, affordable childcare, good before / aftercare options, we have decided as a society that having children is not valued. The moms lamenting are a result of that. But it’s not the feminists to blame, it’s all of us as a society because these are our values: families and children are not priority for us as a society. It’s that simple.

Or maybe it’s the opposite. Consider that the conservative argument is that women should be able to stay home with children and therefore a strong economy with high wages is important.

Compared to a country with lower wages and women returning to work after a year of government paid leave.

I’d argue European countries are less family friendly since through their taxes and lower wages require almost all women to work after having children.

[Anonymous]

In my family, friends and coworkers nearly all full time working moms have two kids.

But of SAHMs nearly all have three

And a few of my C level women connection only has one kid.

JD Vance got yelled at when he said SAHMs is answer if we want more kids.

[Anonymous]

I have three neighbors who have five kids each. Five. They aren’t any particular religion or anything. Two of the families have a SAHM. The third has both parents working. That family is careening off the rails. It’s hard to have five kids without one SAHP.

[Anonymous]

No one expects working moms ro so it all. No expectation to have a well running household, no expectation of contributing to PTA, no hosting… no nothing. Just because they are working for pay.

[Anonymous]

Working mom here with 3 kids.
Yes, it was tough when my kids were under 5.
I expected DH to pitch in, and he did. We got through it ok.
And no, would not change any of it.
Love that I have a career and am self-sufficient. I don’t have to take crap from anyone and have an identity outside of the home (honestly would be bored to death otherwise).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:by saying that there was a division of labor and it was better when moms didn’t work and managed to single-handedly take care of kids needs, is still putting all the responsibility for child care on the women’s shoulder.

As a society, we decide what is important. Given that there is no minimum parental leave, affordable childcare, good before / aftercare options, we have decided as a society that having children is not valued. The moms lamenting are a result of that. But it’s not the feminists to blame, it’s all of us as a society because these are our values: families and children are not priority for us as a society. It’s that simple.

Or maybe it’s the opposite. Consider that the conservative argument is that women should be able to stay home with children and therefore a strong economy with high wages is important.

Compared to a country with lower wages and women returning to work after a year of government paid leave.

I’d argue European countries are less family friendly since through their taxes and lower wages require almost all women to work after having children.

Except they get like two years of paid maternity.

Your argument doesn’t hold because the median HHI income in the US is $75k and in Euro countries it’s $64.4k. Professional jobs in Europe pay absolutely well enough to have only one spouse working if that’s what you want…add in that you don’t have to save for healthcare, childcare, pre-school, college, etc.

So the median US household can’t afford to have a parent not work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have three neighbors who have five kids each. Five. They aren’t any particular religion or anything. Two of the families have a SAHM. The third has both parents working. That family is careening off the rails. It’s hard to have five kids without one SAHP.

Where do you live? Haven’t met any families in CC MD with 5 kids…not one. Even the Marriotts in the neighborhood who are Mormons.

Hard to believe they are not religious or it’s not cultural.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have three neighbors who have five kids each. Five. They aren’t any particular religion or anything. Two of the families have a SAHM. The third has both parents working. That family is careening off the rails. It’s hard to have five kids without one SAHP.

Where do you live? Haven’t met any families in CC MD with 5 kids…not one. Even the Marriotts in the neighborhood who are Mormons.

Hard to believe they are not religious or it’s not cultural.

You must not know any Catholics. I know several Catholic families in Bethesda that have 4+ kids each.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have three neighbors who have five kids each. Five. They aren’t any particular religion or anything. Two of the families have a SAHM. The third has both parents working. That family is careening off the rails. It’s hard to have five kids without one SAHP.

Where do you live? Haven’t met any families in CC MD with 5 kids…not one. Even the Marriotts in the neighborhood who are Mormons.

Hard to believe they are not religious or it’s not cultural.

You must not know any Catholics. I know several Catholic families in Bethesda that have 4+ kids each.

Well, Bethesda isn’t Chevy Chase MD…but yes I attend Blessed Sacrament so I know some Catholics and at least those ones don’t have 5 kids.

[Anonymous]

As a woman who also carries a briefcase and the domestic load, i have to be honest with myself. My DH is not lazy, but I’m really domineering on the domestic front and like things done my way and am my own oppressor. If i had a dollar for every time i heard someone complain about how their husbands does things not to their liking I would not need my job.

[Anonymous]

Why aren’t they supposed to do this? It’s parenting. You made a choice to have kids so just do it. That’s why before and aftercare exist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:by saying that there was a division of labor and it was better when moms didn’t work and managed to single-handedly take care of kids needs, is still putting all the responsibility for child care on the women’s shoulder.

As a society, we decide what is important. Given that there is no minimum parental leave, affordable childcare, good before / aftercare options, we have decided as a society that having children is not valued. The moms lamenting are a result of that. But it’s not the feminists to blame, it’s all of us as a society because these are our values: families and children are not priority for us as a society. It’s that simple.

Or maybe it’s the opposite. Consider that the conservative argument is that women should be able to stay home with children and therefore a strong economy with high wages is important.

Compared to a country with lower wages and women returning to work after a year of government paid leave.

I’d argue European countries are less family friendly since through their taxes and lower wages require almost all women to work after having children.

Except they get like two years of paid maternity.

Your argument doesn’t hold because the median HHI income in the US is $75k and in Euro countries it’s $64.4k. Professional jobs in Europe pay absolutely well enough to have only one spouse working if that’s what you want…add in that you don’t have to save for healthcare, childcare, pre-school, college, etc.

So the median US household can’t afford to have a parent not work.

I like how everyone throws around “paid maternity”. No one is paying your $150k salary for 2 years in Europe unless you work a very unique job. They get a stipend or small percentage of their salary. I preferred my 12 weeks paid at my full salary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:by saying that there was a division of labor and it was better when moms didn’t work and managed to single-handedly take care of kids needs, is still putting all the responsibility for child care on the women’s shoulder.

As a society, we decide what is important. Given that there is no minimum parental leave, affordable childcare, good before / aftercare options, we have decided as a society that having children is not valued. The moms lamenting are a result of that. But it’s not the feminists to blame, it’s all of us as a society because these are our values: families and children are not priority for us as a society. It’s that simple.

Or maybe it’s the opposite. Consider that the conservative argument is that women should be able to stay home with children and therefore a strong economy with high wages is important.

Compared to a country with lower wages and women returning to work after a year of government paid leave.

I’d argue European countries are less family friendly since through their taxes and lower wages require almost all women to work after having children.

Except they get like two years of paid maternity.

Your argument doesn’t hold because the median HHI income in the US is $75k and in Euro countries it’s $64.4k. Professional jobs in Europe pay absolutely well enough to have only one spouse working if that’s what you want…add in that you don’t have to save for healthcare, childcare, pre-school, college, etc.

So the median US household can’t afford to have a parent not work.

I like how everyone throws around “paid maternity”. No one is paying your $150k salary for 2 years in Europe unless you work a very unique job. They get a stipend or small percentage of their salary. I preferred my 12 weeks paid at my full salary.

+10000 paid maternity is around $250 a week in London. Yes many have additional benefits like we do from our employers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:by saying that there was a division of labor and it was better when moms didn’t work and managed to single-handedly take care of kids needs, is still putting all the responsibility for child care on the women’s shoulder.

As a society, we decide what is important. Given that there is no minimum parental leave, affordable childcare, good before / aftercare options, we have decided as a society that having children is not valued. The moms lamenting are a result of that. But it’s not the feminists to blame, it’s all of us as a society because these are our values: families and children are not priority for us as a society. It’s that simple.

Or maybe it’s the opposite. Consider that the conservative argument is that women should be able to stay home with children and therefore a strong economy with high wages is important.

Compared to a country with lower wages and women returning to work after a year of government paid leave.

I’d argue European countries are less family friendly since through their taxes and lower wages require almost all women to work after having children.

lol the same Conservative Party messing around with tariffs, threatening global war conflict, trying to replace workers with AI, and telling us all we and our children + grandchildren can work in factories for years to come?