Guesstimated % of unhooked kids- ivies- without parental pushing

[Anonymous]

OP, my BFF's daughter isn't a senior yet, but I predict ivy's for her. No hooks--and her parents have given up on asking her if she really feels the need to take that insanely challenging class or compete in that national competition or do any of the objectively extraordinary things she does. They are loving, supportive, and somewhat baffled. This is ALL her, not them. If they push at all, it's for her to please take it easy.

This kid is not only exceptionally brilliant, she's an energizer bunny! Not happy unless she is active and challenging herself. Engaged in a wide variety of academic, athletic, artistic, and service endeavors. All in leadership capacities, many on a regional if not national scale.

She has wonderful friends, a lovely family, and is quite privileged in rather ordinary but obvious ways.

Ofc she also has the needed perfect grades and ridiculous test scores: But for the past three years her extracurricular engagement has truly been a marvel. I would not believe kids like this existed if I hadn't watched her grow up as she has. But she's just casually both brilliant and ambitious. Not because she's trying to get into an ivy, but because she really really really loves doing all of these crazy wonderful things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, my BFF's daughter isn't a senior yet, but I predict ivy's for her. No hooks--and her parents have given up on asking her if she really feels the need to take that insanely challenging class or compete in that national competition or do any of the objectively extraordinary things she does. They are loving, supportive, and somewhat baffled. This is ALL her, not them. If they push at all, it's for her to please take it easy.

This kid is not only exceptionally brilliant, she's an energizer bunny! Not happy unless she is active and challenging herself. Engaged in a wide variety of academic, athletic, artistic, and service endeavors. All in leadership capacities, many on a regional if not national scale.

She has wonderful friends, a lovely family, and is quite privileged in rather ordinary but obvious ways.

Ofc she also has the needed perfect grades and ridiculous test scores: But for the past three years her extracurricular engagement has truly been a marvel. I would not believe kids like this existed if I hadn't watched her grow up as she has. But she's just casually both brilliant and ambitious. Not because she's trying to get into an ivy, but because she really really really loves doing all of these crazy wonderful things.

chatgpt ... ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:quite privileged in rather ordinary but obvious ways

This is the opposite of unhooked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, my BFF's daughter isn't a senior yet, but I predict ivy's for her. No hooks--and her parents have given up on asking her if she really feels the need to take that insanely challenging class or compete in that national competition or do any of the objectively extraordinary things she does. They are loving, supportive, and somewhat baffled. This is ALL her, not them. If they push at all, it's for her to please take it easy.

This kid is not only exceptionally brilliant, she's an energizer bunny! Not happy unless she is active and challenging herself. Engaged in a wide variety of academic, athletic, artistic, and service endeavors. All in leadership capacities, many on a regional if not national scale.

She has wonderful friends, a lovely family, and is quite privileged in rather ordinary but obvious ways.

Ofc she also has the needed perfect grades and ridiculous test scores: But for the past three years her extracurricular engagement has truly been a marvel. I would not believe kids like this existed if I hadn't watched her grow up as she has. But she's just casually both brilliant and ambitious. Not because she's trying to get into an ivy, but because she really really really loves doing all of these crazy wonderful things.

chatgpt ... ?

Nope You can tell bc no em dashes or weird parallel phrasing lol

Like I said, I wouldn't believe she was for real if I didn't know her.

She is a bit self-conscious about her appearance. Does that help you believe she is a real teenager?

She is kind of like Alex from Modern family, but a little happier -- and her parents are way smarter (well my Bestie is, her husband is... charismatic? Definitely gets the high energy from him.)

It's annoying, you really want to roll your eyes at her. But she's lovely and this is just who she is. She wants to go to an ivy mostly because she hopes she will (finally?) have a real cohort of likeminded peers. That's probably the thing she struggles with most: She doesn't love all the attention. She would like to be somewhere it's more ordinary to be exceptional.

I know. I'd be rolling my eyes too. I think she's a rare bird--and she might be disappointed to find she will continue to be exceptional, even in exceptional spaces. Heavy is the crown...!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:quite privileged in rather ordinary but obvious ways

This is the opposite of unhooked.

How so? Not rural, not first GEN, not low income, not a minority, not a recruited athlete, no feeder school, from the DMV. Family is wealthy by US standards, not especially so by local standards. They're full pay and have a nice home and take vacations, but just that -- nothing exorbitant by UMC standards. They can pay for her to travel to pursue her interests, but are hardly donor class.

She's just normal white UMC garden variety unhooked privilege.

So what's the hook?

I don't think she's the norm, but exceptional kids exist.

[Anonymous]

Full pay is not a hook? Seriously?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, my BFF's daughter isn't a senior yet, but I predict ivy's for her. No hooks--and her parents have given up on asking her if she really feels the need to take that insanely challenging class or compete in that national competition or do any of the objectively extraordinary things she does. They are loving, supportive, and somewhat baffled. This is ALL her, not them. If they push at all, it's for her to please take it easy.

This kid is not only exceptionally brilliant, she's an energizer bunny! Not happy unless she is active and challenging herself. Engaged in a wide variety of academic, athletic, artistic, and service endeavors. All in leadership capacities, many on a regional if not national scale.

She has wonderful friends, a lovely family, and is quite privileged in rather ordinary but obvious ways.

Ofc she also has the needed perfect grades and ridiculous test scores: But for the past three years her extracurricular engagement has truly been a marvel. I would not believe kids like this existed if I hadn't watched her grow up as she has. But she's just casually both brilliant and ambitious. Not because she's trying to get into an ivy, but because she really really really loves doing all of these crazy wonderful things.

chatgpt ... ?

Nope You can tell bc no em dashes or weird parallel phrasing lol

Like I said, I wouldn't believe she was for real if I didn't know her.

She is a bit self-conscious about her appearance. Does that help you believe she is a real teenager?

She is kind of like Alex from Modern family, but a little happier -- and her parents are way smarter (well my Bestie is, her husband is... charismatic? Definitely gets the high energy from him.)

It's annoying, you really want to roll your eyes at her. But she's lovely and this is just who she is. She wants to go to an ivy mostly because she hopes she will (finally?) have a real cohort of likeminded peers. That's probably the thing she struggles with most: She doesn't love all the attention. She would like to be somewhere it's more ordinary to be exceptional.

I know. I'd be rolling my eyes too. I think she's a rare bird--and she might be disappointed to find she will continue to be exceptional, even in exceptional spaces. Heavy is the crown...!

Reads non-fictional until ... "energizer bunny". lol
I can see that you rewrite it a bit, but it still smells like engine oil.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Full pay is not a hook? Seriously?

No, not an an Ivy or avowed need-blind school.

It's privilege, but not a "hook" in the normal college-admissions sense.

[Anonymous]

So all the folks on DCUM posting about the "full pay+ED" advantage are lying?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So all the folks on DCUM posting about the "full pay+ED" advantage are lying?

It depends whether admissions are need-aware or not and on the school's financial profile. Ivy's are (ostensibly) need blind (though they can tell pretty easily who the donors are.)

Full pay + ED gives a significant edge at schools like Tulane and Miami. But if you think being full pay gives a kid a much better chance of getting into Harvard or Yale... Well, ppl on this board would be a heckuva lot happier if it did!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, my BFF's daughter isn't a senior yet, but I predict ivy's for her. No hooks--and her parents have given up on asking her if she really feels the need to take that insanely challenging class or compete in that national competition or do any of the objectively extraordinary things she does. They are loving, supportive, and somewhat baffled. This is ALL her, not them. If they push at all, it's for her to please take it easy.

This kid is not only exceptionally brilliant, she's an energizer bunny! Not happy unless she is active and challenging herself. Engaged in a wide variety of academic, athletic, artistic, and service endeavors. All in leadership capacities, many on a regional if not national scale.

She has wonderful friends, a lovely family, and is quite privileged in rather ordinary but obvious ways.

Ofc she also has the needed perfect grades and ridiculous test scores: But for the past three years her extracurricular engagement has truly been a marvel. I would not believe kids like this existed if I hadn't watched her grow up as she has. But she's just casually both brilliant and ambitious. Not because she's trying to get into an ivy, but because she really really really loves doing all of these crazy wonderful things.

Odd response. Kid has applied nowhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So all the folks on DCUM posting about the "full pay+ED" advantage are lying?

How are they lying? Lying would be: X (need blind) school admitted my full pay ED kid and when reviewing the submitted app, kid said there was a note that said, "full pay so strongly support admission."

[Anonymous]

No, lying would be claiming that "full pay+ED" confers an advantage, when it actually doesn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would say 80% of the students at DC's school who goes to Ivies have the help of parents who are really involved in shaping their ECs and/or academics strategically. The other 20% don't have super type A parents but at least half of that 20% is hooked in some way.

Honestly, a fair number of those 80% sort of burn out and are not anymore successful than the kids who went to UVA or Michigan who didn't have helicopter parents steering them in high school.

At our private it’s closer to 100%

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tiger parenting works. Probably at the detriment of their kid's emotional well being, but it works.

The mythical "naturally smart and driven kid" is usually a kid with hidden trauma or an undiagnosed personality disorder who manages it with perfectionistic habits.

Both tend to unravel at some point in a really dramatic way, usually second semester sophomore year at Princeton.

Hmm.
What if the tiger parenting goal is “only” to get you to Duke, Northwestern, Cornell, Dartmouth or Vanderbilt? Or possibly CMC, Davidson, Midd.

Major: No CS or Stem unless kid-led.
Career: Easy path to consulting career.
Result: I don’t see a lot of unraveling in our circles. Seeing this path more nowadays.
Kids seem successful.