What do you think of destination weddings?
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Anonymous
+1 They are only cheap for the marrying couple because you are offloading all the costs into your guests. If you added up the airfare for everyone to come plus the elevated Hotel charges for the location and other travel costs for the extra days they normally entail it would at least equal the normal “cost for a US wedding”. Have a cake and punch reception or a small wedding if funds are limited but don’t make me basically pay for your wedding. |
Anonymous
A lot of times it’s better than a regular vacation because you’re invited to fun parties. My gripe is only if the bride/groom are getting a free room because they filled enough hotel rooms with guests. |
Anonymous
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I think any time you’re trying to spend someone else’s money (eg, expecting them to pay for travel to your preferred location at your preferred time) it’s tacky.
You can plan your own party and invite whoever you want, but if it’s required attendance for anyone (immediate family, etc), it feels very selfish and entitled to me. If you want to plan a destination wedding and others truly don’t feel obligated, great, but I think in most cases someone feels like their arm is being twisted. |
Anonymous
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I think they're selfish.
You want me to take my limited vacation days, pay for airfare and lodging, food costs, nice clothes, AND a gift? (for some reason, I don't get invited to these) |
Anonymous
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There was never such a thing as a destination wedding when I was in my 20's (I'm almost 70 now). That was called elopement and the couple went off by themselves to get married. Marriage has become a huge industry and resorts and venues abroad are taking advantage of it. Also young people have a lot more money than we did. Traveling to another country was a big expensive deal back then. Our honeymoon was camping in northern Michigan (which we drove to with our bikes on the car). You know what? We had fun with our friends and family (and the weddings were about family back then as much or more than about friends as they were reunions for the parents and their siblings as well). My parents and my husband's parents were my main focus to be honest. I wanted them to have a good time (I mean they stayed married for 62 years and I'm on my way to that as well . . . same for my husband's parents). A lot of these weddings are for Instagram and Facebook. Thank God we didn't have that back then. Life is not better because you spent all that money. The most fun I had at a wedding was in a park with a catered meal. It was a lovely day. Informal attire. Local band. |
Anonymous
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Exhausting, Time Drain and a nitemare to plan or get guests to fully wanna' be a part of. |
Anonymous
She wants you to fork over $$$$ for that too!! |
Anonymous
| Not interested in going to one or hosting one. Unless I want to go. |
Anonymous
| Even if I like the destination, I don't want to subsidize someone else's accommodation/honeymoon, and I'd like to set my own schedule/choose my own lodging, restaurants, and sightseeing. Sorry, I'm not a team player when it comes to my vacation time. We've been to a couple of family weddings in California, and that was okay because we tacked on a vacation after. It wasn't a destination wedding because they lived there, but it was an expensive to attend. |
Anonymous
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My H and I had a destination wedding and it was awesome. We originally planned to elope and it be just us. Then when we told my MIL, she realized our date matched up with BIL's school break (he was much younger) and said, we can go too! On my side, the only people I really wanted there were my parents. So we had about 8 guests, all close family. I'm happy that all the people I cared about the most were there for us.
The travel was a lot for my parents, but I know they would have NEVER in a million years visited this destination if I hadn't gotten married there. They saw so many things they'd never seen, and it was the most relaxed I've ever seen my parents. They still talk about that trip 25+ years later, and my mom happened to take the best photo of us. My situation may be different in that it was very small and just immediate family. We have an acquaintance who also got married in the same destination with only immediate family present. About a month later they had a HUGE reception in their hometown with a few hundred people. I feel like that was a good compromise between wanting a destination wedding and wanting a large wedding party. |
Anonymous
Seconding this. I must be in the minority because I love destination weddings. I love an excuse to travel somewhere. I went to one in Costa Rica last year for a close friend and already knew a lot of the guests and we all had a blast! I don't get the hate either. |
Anonymous
Agree. Great for the young and childless. I’d say as a bride and groom, know your audience. If most of your friends are at that more carefree phase of your life, go for it. That being said, my sister was married in the Caribbean. Just family, took the kids of course, we all shared a huge villa and the ceremony was on the beach. It was magical and we all loved it. |
Anonymous
This 1000%. If it's not in your budget and you don't really want to spend, simply RSVP No. I'm with you---if I spend $$$$ on a trip, it's going to be to locale of my selection |
Anonymous
Nobody is "telling you where and when to spend your PTO and travel budget". You can simply RSVP "NO" and be done with it. In fact most expect that with a destination wedding |
Anonymous
The Sister needs to be "ok" with it. Unless she is paying for everyone |