What do you think of destination weddings?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:if you dont want me to come to your wedding, then just say so! lol

my sister is having one. will cost over $20k to fly, get lodging, etc... so, um, no. DH, DS and i will be toasting from afar

just really hurts, i would have loved to have been there

Wow. I'm not saying you are wrong or judging at all, but is your sister ok with this? Everyone always says, "Just don't go," but I have no idea how this plays out in real life.

[Anonymous]

A family member of mine had a wedding in a Spanish castle. It was amazing! It was like a family reunion because there were family members who hadn’t seen each other in years. Most who were there are world travelers and live all around the world. So it was a great opportunity to meet up again.

Now if all your family lives in some small town in the US, then of course a wedding in Spain might be a challenge.

[Anonymous]

My husband and I decided to get married in the Caribbean country he's from. We invited people, but I honestly did not care if zero of them came. About 30 people ended up coming which was nice, but we made it very very clear that there would be no expectations, hurt feelings, etc. The only thing that irritated me was that we changed the date to accomodate one of his family members and then they didn't show up.

[Anonymous]

Selfish

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Slightly different perspective - We had a destination wedding in Scotland 10+ years ago. My husband is from there and his parents still lived there - his dad was in a care home so couldn't travel. So if we wanted his dad at the wedding, which we did, it had to be where he was. We had about 70 people attend, and only 8-10 of them lived in the UK; everyone else traveled.

That’s not a destination wedding. It’s very normal to have a wedding in one spouse’s hometown where their parents still live, or in the place the couple now lives. Somewhere NO ONE lives is a destination wedding.

I think when 75+ percent of people have to travel it's kind of a distinction without much difference.

Agree with that. We have very few local weddings, so they are all a destination of some sort. We are going to one in Philadelphia in the fall and that seems local since it is just a drive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:if you dont want me to come to your wedding, then just say so! lol

my sister is having one. will cost over $20k to fly, get lodging, etc... so, um, no. DH, DS and i will be toasting from afar

just really hurts, i would have loved to have been there

Wow. I'm not saying you are wrong or judging at all, but is your sister ok with this? Everyone always says, "Just don't go," but I have no idea how this plays out in real life.

um, money is a reality in my life. this would cost half our tuition bill. so since she's the one that picked the destination and a hotel that does not allow children, i guess she's ok with her sister, nephew and brother in law not showing up?

SMH really. yeah, its just that easy, i am just not going. heartbroken over it, however

[Anonymous]

Why are so many of you so angry about destination weddings? If you don’t want to or can’t go, then don’t go. You don’t have to viciously attack the bride and groom, and accuse them of being selfish! It’s their lives, not yours. Jesus.

A good friend of ours just had a destination wedding in Europe, and we went and it was fantastic! You all need to lighten up.

[Anonymous]

My sister had one. It was annoying. So much more travel and expense for most people. But, brides gonna bride.

[Anonymous]

only thing worse than a destination wedding is a kids-free wedding where even immediate family aren't allowed to bring their kids

[Anonymous]

I went to one in Jamaica and had a wonderful time. It cost me about $3K for everything sharing a room with another guest. 5 days
The couple had 80 guests come out to support them.

If the most important people that the couple would like to attend can not attend the wedding due to finances a destination wedding is not a good idea.

[Anonymous]

I'm single and childless and I hate them. If I'm using my vacation time and budget, I want to have an actual vacation. Attending someone else's wedding is not a vacation.

[Anonymous]

They are like you said: expensive, very inconvenient and hard to get to. But at the same time, the expectation is that many people will not be able to make it.

They’re easier to make for those who are single. So, I feel it’s completely fine to apologize and not go, or if someone very close and if possible that either you or dh join and the other parent stays with the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are so many of you so angry about destination weddings? If you don’t want to or can’t go, then don’t go. You don’t have to viciously attack the bride and groom, and accuse them of being selfish! It’s their lives, not yours. Jesus.

A good friend of ours just had a destination wedding in Europe, and we went and it was fantastic! You all need to lighten up.

I have nothing against them as long as the bride and groom don't hold it against anyone who chooses not to attend. We also went to one in Europe. It was amazing and a great vacation. This was also when I was younger and didn't have kids. These days I would only go if it were in a destination I wanted to visit and I hade the time and money to do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I decided to get married in the Caribbean country he's from. We invited people, but I honestly did not care if zero of them came. About 30 people ended up coming which was nice, but we made it very very clear that there would be no expectations, hurt feelings, etc. The only thing that irritated me was that we changed the date to accomodate one of his family members and then they didn't show up.

But that’s not a “destination wedding”, you got married in your husband’s home country where I assume he has family.

[Anonymous]

So many angry at destination weddings when weddings in the US are massive ripoffs and price gouges for the couple.

Wedding in the US: $30k blown right off the top for massively subpar frozen Sysco food at a thoroughly mid venue. Then another $10k+ extorted out of the couple for a stupid open bar.

F that. Destination wedding ends up being the same price for far prettier venues and 100x better food. Family and friends who whine can shove it and drink their tears as a martini. The wedding is for the couple, not you. Don't want to go, then don't. Now zip it.