Regretting private high school investment because of colleges want more public school graduates

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t waste my money. My kid got a MUCH better education in private school. I know because I teach at the public HS he is zoned for. The difference in academic and behavioral expectations is night and day.

I will never understand people like you. Why aren't you teaching at private schools???

Not PP but Public schools often pay better.

Clearly, since the public school teacher can send her child to an elite private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, our local public school just had a kid stabbed in the hallway. So there is that aspect to think of also.

Oh please, you know your child would not have been part of that argument. Those kids probably weren't college bound. You are comparing apples and oranges. The smartest and most accomplished kids from West Potomac are comparable to the best kids from your elite private. They're all competing for the same colleges and you know it.

And this is what this entire thread is about. No one is (or no one should be) comparing private school kids to everyone in public school - but there are definitely tons of very smart, very accomplished kids in public school who can go toe to toe with any private schooler.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t waste my money. My kid got a MUCH better education in private school. I know because I teach at the public HS he is zoned for. The difference in academic and behavioral expectations is night and day.

I will never understand people like you. Why aren't you teaching at private schools???

Because it’s made up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a genuine question: why do people act like public school is for disadvantaged kids and minorities when the vast majority goes to public schools? Even Ivy League schools have a majority of public school students getting admission. So why are colleges doing this pandering.

It's a weird DC/major city thing. Everywhere else, kids are sent to private mainly when they are expelled from public.

That’s not at all true for most of California, Texas, Florida, NYC, etc.

By Major city they mean any city with wealth. My friends in Tampa and Atlanta all go to private school.

[Anonymous]

I sent my kid to a feeder school for top Catholic universities like Notre Dame, Georgetown, and BC. Kid got into all three. Mission accomplished.

Kid's first choice was ND. ND does not admit many at all from the top publics in our area -- in fact the admit rate from these schools is way below their actual admit rate.

Notre Dame Acceptance Rate:
Bethesda area publics: 5% (source Bethesda Magazine)
Actual overall: 9% (source google)
Our private school: 33% (source Scoir)

Boston College Acceptance Rate:
Bethesda area publics: 18%
Actual overall: 13%
Our private school: 38%

Georgetown Acceptance Rate:
Bethesda area publics: 23%
Actual overall: 12%
Our private school: 43%

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Notre Dame Acceptance Rate:
Bethesda area publics: 5% (source Bethesda Magazine)
Actual overall: 9% (source google)
Our private school: 33% (source Scoir)

Boston College Acceptance Rate:
Bethesda area publics: 18%
Actual overall: 13%
Our private school: 38%

Georgetown Acceptance Rate:
Bethesda area publics: 23%
Actual overall: 12%
Our private school: 43%

This looks inline with what I have seen too. Of course, you are going to get a group here saying that the private students have a “hook” because their parents went to elite colleges, they are affluent, a URM, or otherwise have an advantage. The URM argument is particularly illogical since that group is MUCH more prevalent in public school settings but the kids do patently worse. I personally think the different is that having to make financial sacrifices to attend a school forces a higher level of accountability than you see in the typical public school. It comes at a cost, but again - it’s a personal choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Not PP but Public schools often pay better.

This is true and totally warranted. I think of it somewhat like hazard pay. That said, it can be incredibly rewarding…particularly for the right person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a genuine question: why do people act like public school is for disadvantaged kids and minorities when the vast majority goes to public schools? Even Ivy League schools have a majority of public school students getting admission. So why are colleges doing this pandering.

It's a weird DC/major city thing. Everywhere else, kids are sent to private mainly when they are expelled from public.

Well yeah, in the sticks that tracks. I grew up in middle America and only private schools were crazy religious ones.

+1
And in every major city private schools are simply a huge step up from public, even the good public schools. My kid left TJ because the environment was unfulfilled. She can have it all in private school in a way she just can't in public. And that's worth paying for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here. Both kids in private and yes, we mostly did it because it was the best fit for them. I just don’t understand why the best fit reason AND the best college admissions prospect reason for going private have to be mutually exclusive!
By the time both kids graduate, we would have spent over $500k in tuition per child. Way more if you consider that the money could’ve been invested in a fund that earned interest over the years. So yes, for that price, I want to have my cake and eat it too.
I’d be upset if, after all that investment , colleges put my kid at a disadvantage purely because they are at a private.

Nope, nope, nope. Colleges aren't putting your child at a disadvantage because they are at a private, there are merely recognizing (as they should) that private educations are actually NOT better than public ones. That your child really has nothing more to offer than a child who has a public school education. They are correct, PP. Just because you paid for your child's K-12 education does not mean that colleges owe you anything. If your child is outstanding, s/he will get into the college of their choice. Sounds like your children are not outstanding. Too bad.

DP
The only thing "too bad" is that you sound like an ass. We left public school because of parents like you. Lemme guess you are one of the hyper-competitive types whose kids has to be top of something (sport or academic), while you disparage other people's CHILDREN.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, our local public school just had a kid stabbed in the hallway. So there is that aspect to think of also.

Oh please, you know your child would not have been part of that argument. Those kids probably weren't college bound. You are comparing apples and oranges. The smartest and most accomplished kids from West Potomac are comparable to the best kids from your elite private. They're all competing for the same colleges and you know it.

Going to an environment where if you bump someone in the hall can get you messed up is hardly conducive to good education.

Also who knows the path your kid can take. A friend had a path to valedictorian but hooked up with a boyfriend who was big in drug scene. Barely made it to college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t waste my money. My kid got a MUCH better education in private school. I know because I teach at the public HS he is zoned for. The difference in academic and behavioral expectations is night and day.

I will never understand people like you. Why aren't you teaching at private schools???

DP

I will never understand questions like this. I think public schools are in dire need of teachers who make good choices. Congrats to her for making the bigger impact with her time. Private school teachers do have an easier job by getting smart hand selected kids and calm classrooms. The only thing remotely surprising is that PP didn't try to teach at son's school for a discount on tuition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Been told by our college counselor that this year colleges are turning away from selecting most private high school kids because of their privileged education. That you now have a better chance coming from a public high school with good grades and top scores and activities. There’s no advantage anymore paying more money for private. None at all.

So for those of you looking to go private, don’t waste your money. Your private school kid, despite top gpa and test scores, will probably will be bumped in favor of someone from a good public school.

Regrets, regrets, regrets…

I mean, do you have any sense that your college counselor actually understands the dynamics at play. Every single year, folks come on this very board to talk about "this year, HYPSM is prioritizing public school kids" and every year, when the dust settles, it turns out those schools have a pretty consistent number of private school admits year-over-year.

I know you want to think that your child is being oppressed due to their wealth, but it just isn't true.

DP

Well, it is true that the kid is being oppressed due to wealth, but not in the way you think. HYPSM wants to take from the largest number of schools. They also preferentially take legacies and large donor kid. So, if OP's kid is at private school with legacy children of large donors, then their kid is disadvantaged next to those kids, even if their stats are similar. The chances of the same proportion of legacy donor children at large publics is much much lower, so the same kid with the same stats stand a better chance at public. It's simple mathematical reasoning.

....OP, if you are still confused, ask your kid about the logic. There is a quantitative reasoning section on the ISEE. They obviously did well enough to get into a good private HS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would say going to an elite high school matters more than the specific college. Their college options will be fine.

Yes! Exactly. Because you’re ultra entitled. Which is exactly why colleges aren’t taking your kids anymore. Because their private pedigree is meaningless and non indicative to their drive, or future success, or their ability to be a good community member.

We are not private and would only go private for 1. Special needs issues, safety issues, I.e. necessity 2. Get my kid into a good college

Anyone who pays $160k+ in tuition over years of private education with perfectly fine public alternatives and says they don’t care about the college their kid gets into is lying to themselves and puffing feathers on an anonymous board.

Of course you care. Because even if you are just so self centered and private school is “a way of life”, you’re at least concerned of being judged yourself based on your kids outplacement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a genuine question: why do people act like public school is for disadvantaged kids and minorities when the vast majority goes to public schools? Even Ivy League schools have a majority of public school students getting admission. So why are colleges doing this pandering.

It's a weird DC/major city thing. Everywhere else, kids are sent to private mainly when they are expelled from public.

That’s not at all true for most of California, Texas, Florida, NYC, etc.

By Major city they mean any city with wealth. My friends in Tampa and Atlanta all go to private school.

Same in Houston, Dallas, Austin, and all the major cities in CA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say going to an elite high school matters more than the specific college. Their college options will be fine.

Yes! Exactly. Because you’re ultra entitled. Which is exactly why colleges aren’t taking your kids anymore. Because their private pedigree is meaningless and non indicative to their drive, or future success, or their ability to be a good community member.

We are not private and would only go private for 1. Special needs issues, safety issues, I.e. necessity 2. Get my kid into a good college

Anyone who pays $160k+ in tuition over years of private education with perfectly fine public alternatives and says they don’t care about the college their kid gets into is lying to themselves and puffing feathers on an anonymous board.

Of course you care. Because even if you are just so self centered and private school is “a way of life”, you’re at least concerned of being judged yourself based on your kids outplacement.

I think the projection of your opinions and thoughts onto others speaks a great deal about your insecurity. Is why you are "puffing your feathers" here?