Bathroom usage: Would you contact the school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait. If they do not have enough staff for bathroom monitors, then how are they enforcing one child at a time in the bathroom?

The teachers enforce it which means that it only falls on the kids who are good kids and listen to the teachers.

Can you imagine if your employer told you that you couldn’t go to the bathroom because of the possibility that some other people might vandalize the bathroom? You’d be calling the state regulations. It’s ridiculous. The school district has to bear the cost of vandalism — not individual children.

Even with the safety thing, the odds of my kids being caught in a bathroom fight are infinitesimal. The odds of them being uncomfortable and unable to focus on their work because they couldn’t use the bathroom are extremely high.

Can you imagine if you were an employee and you etched racist/profane writing into the bathroom wall, emptied the soap onto the floor, attempted to flushed your vape pen down the toilet, rendering it unusable, and were taking pictures and videos in the bathroom. You’d be fired. We can’t fire kids from school. And good luck expelling.

“Expelling” learners has been repeatedly shown to have a disparate impact on BIPOC learners; it is the very opposite of the goal of economic and racial equity (which is the “E” in DEI).

Public schools need more DEI, not less.

BIPOC learners?

People skipping class to vandalize bathrooms, do drugs in bathrooms, have sex in bathrooms, or otherwise misuse the bathrooms are not learning anything, BIPOC or not.

The learners (BIPOC included) are the ones whose learning experience (and possibly health) is compromised by them not being able to tend to their physical needs.

I think anyone (regardless of ethnicity) who wants to vandalize the bathroom should be removed so that those who want to learn (regardless of ethnicity) will be free to do so. Vandals can be suspended (either in-school with restricted bathroom access or at-home) and provided access to virtual learning should they decide they actually want to be learners. If repeated suspensions prove that they have no interest in learning and the only school activity they will participate in is vandalism, then I agree that expulsion should be an option.

In order to avoid stigmatizing people with destructive behavior, we’ve turned the discipline policy on its end. Instead of punishing troublemakers to hopefully modify their behavior and focus on learning (or at the very least remove their disruptive influence so that those who want to can learn), we now punish EVERYONE, and still have the problem of disruptive behavior. To simply:
Old system - punish the guilty, less disruption and more learning
New system - don’t punish the guilty, more disruption, everyone is restricted/punished, less learning

If you want to help BIPOC learners, focus more on “learner” and less on “BIPOC”.

That was the old system. It was tried and it failed, like Prohibition failed.

Plus, the punishments you suggest we return to are racist.

How did it fail? Bathrooms weren’t destroyed and they weren’t locked?

How are the punishments racist? If the same punishments are given for the same offenses, race isn’t a factor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s absurd. I would get her a vague doctor’s note and tell admin that you trust you won’t hear about the issue again.

Agree. This is yet more evidence that our schools are not prioritizing the education of our children.

When is enough, enough?

They have to prioritize kids not killing each other, gang violence, drugs, etc. and basically trying to keep the kids alive, over education.

There is no discipline and punishment in schools anymore. The kids control them. Lord of The Flies basically in most schools now.

Alright, but that can’t become my well-behaved kid’s problem when she just needs to use the bathroom.

Then you need to send your well behaved kid to a school where the rest of the kids are well behaved and can follow rules and not be destructive. Many public schools adapted these bathroom policies out of need. Too many kids don’t follow rules or treat property respectfully.

DP. No. The answer is not to let the kids who refuse to behave dictate the policy for everyone else. Administrators need to grow spines and discipline the kids who are vandalizing the bathrooms and parents need to realize their kids are in for a world of hurt if they're already destroying property when they're 12,13,14.

The days of schools being able to discipline kids is over. Where have you been? Terrible behavior in schools, especially public schools, is not limited to the bathrooms.

I'm a teacher. I've been in schools the whole time. Schools need to end the "no discipline" nonsense. It's not working for anyone except maybe the lazy administrators.

[Anonymous]

I can’t believe some of you are in favor of this. Bathrooms were inaccessible like this when I was in high school and I coped by not drinking any water at all during the day. I had constant anxiety about needing to use the bathroom and not being able to, and also a lot of headaches and digestive issues from being dehydrated.

[Anonymous]

Name the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe some of you are in favor of this. Bathrooms were inaccessible like this when I was in high school and I coped by not drinking any water at all during the day. I had constant anxiety about needing to use the bathroom and not being able to, and also a lot of headaches and digestive issues from being dehydrated.

That’s dramatic. No one in high school in the 90s early 2000s was carrying around a water bottle drinking water all day. We were all fine. No one was have digestive problems and headaches from not carrying around their Stanley all day.

It isn’t that I’m in favor or limiting the bathroom, but I just don’t see it as that big of a deal. You get 20-30 min lunch plus 5 min in between classes. Figure out when to fit in bathroom breaks if you need to. Most heathy teens don’t need to use the bathroom very often. Most teachers grant exceptions too. If this is a problem for your particular student then talk to principal or teachers. But it actually is a reasonable expectation for most students to contain bathroom trips to lunch and passing time- and most kids are fine with this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get reach for the principal to not care. So before this isuse makes youeven more frustrated, think about it....

Is your DD bathroom issue only because of "feminine hygiene". If so, it should not happen more than 5 time a month. Also, aren't the tardies counted per class? Is her bathroom visit at the same time each day? If so, a reasonable teacher should excuse at least one or two, especially if it's not being abused and the kid is otherwise a good and on-time student. This is a good learning opportunity for your kid. She doesn't need to thell the teacher WHY, just that she was waiting to use the bathroom.

I would tell my daughter to try and visit the bathroom earlier. But I am less concerned with a few tardies or unexcused absences. 5 minutes is not going to affect her learning that much - the average teacher does not start teaching critical material for a 9am class at 9am on the dot.

Also the administration probably knows the issue, because they can see the kids walking in the hall after class starts or waiting to use the bathroom. I'd save my "Mom handling my kids problem" email for a bigger hill.

This has to have been written by a man. You don't remember having your period in 8th grade? Sometimes you have to change your tampon 1x/hr; sometimes once every few hours. But certainly more than once a day (!) for 5 days!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait. If they do not have enough staff for bathroom monitors, then how are they enforcing one child at a time in the bathroom?

The teachers enforce it which means that it only falls on the kids who are good kids and listen to the teachers.

Can you imagine if your employer told you that you couldn’t go to the bathroom because of the possibility that some other people might vandalize the bathroom? You’d be calling the state regulations. It’s ridiculous. The school district has to bear the cost of vandalism — not individual children.

Even with the safety thing, the odds of my kids being caught in a bathroom fight are infinitesimal. The odds of them being uncomfortable and unable to focus on their work because they couldn’t use the bathroom are extremely high.

Can you imagine if you were an employee and you etched racist/profane writing into the bathroom wall, emptied the soap onto the floor, attempted to flushed your vape pen down the toilet, rendering it unusable, and were taking pictures and videos in the bathroom. You’d be fired. We can’t fire kids from school. And good luck expelling.

“Expelling” learners has been repeatedly shown to have a disparate impact on BIPOC learners; it is the very opposite of the goal of economic and racial equity (which is the “E” in DEI).

Public schools need more DEI, not less.

BIPOC learners?

People skipping class to vandalize bathrooms, do drugs in bathrooms, have sex in bathrooms, or otherwise misuse the bathrooms are not learning anything, BIPOC or not.

The learners (BIPOC included) are the ones whose learning experience (and possibly health) is compromised by them not being able to tend to their physical needs.

I think anyone (regardless of ethnicity) who wants to vandalize the bathroom should be removed so that those who want to learn (regardless of ethnicity) will be free to do so. Vandals can be suspended (either in-school with restricted bathroom access or at-home) and provided access to virtual learning should they decide they actually want to be learners. If repeated suspensions prove that they have no interest in learning and the only school activity they will participate in is vandalism, then I agree that expulsion should be an option.

In order to avoid stigmatizing people with destructive behavior, we’ve turned the discipline policy on its end. Instead of punishing troublemakers to hopefully modify their behavior and focus on learning (or at the very least remove their disruptive influence so that those who want to can learn), we now punish EVERYONE, and still have the problem of disruptive behavior. To simply:
Old system - punish the guilty, less disruption and more learning
New system - don’t punish the guilty, more disruption, everyone is restricted/punished, less learning

If you want to help BIPOC learners, focus more on “learner” and less on “BIPOC”.

That was the old system. It was tried and it failed, like Prohibition failed.

Plus, the punishments you suggest we return to are racist.

How did it fail? Bathrooms weren’t destroyed and they weren’t locked?

How are the punishments racist? If the same punishments are given for the same offenses, race isn’t a factor.

The reason detentions, suspensions, and expulsions are all racist is because study after study has shown these disciplinary actions have a disparate impact on BIPOC learners.

That is why so-called school discipline is racist and cannot be allowed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait. If they do not have enough staff for bathroom monitors, then how are they enforcing one child at a time in the bathroom?

The teachers enforce it which means that it only falls on the kids who are good kids and listen to the teachers.

Can you imagine if your employer told you that you couldn’t go to the bathroom because of the possibility that some other people might vandalize the bathroom? You’d be calling the state regulations. It’s ridiculous. The school district has to bear the cost of vandalism — not individual children.

Even with the safety thing, the odds of my kids being caught in a bathroom fight are infinitesimal. The odds of them being uncomfortable and unable to focus on their work because they couldn’t use the bathroom are extremely high.

Can you imagine if you were an employee and you etched racist/profane writing into the bathroom wall, emptied the soap onto the floor, attempted to flushed your vape pen down the toilet, rendering it unusable, and were taking pictures and videos in the bathroom. You’d be fired. We can’t fire kids from school. And good luck expelling.

“Expelling” learners has been repeatedly shown to have a disparate impact on BIPOC learners; it is the very opposite of the goal of economic and racial equity (which is the “E” in DEI).

Public schools need more DEI, not less.

BIPOC learners?

People skipping class to vandalize bathrooms, do drugs in bathrooms, have sex in bathrooms, or otherwise misuse the bathrooms are not learning anything, BIPOC or not.

The learners (BIPOC included) are the ones whose learning experience (and possibly health) is compromised by them not being able to tend to their physical needs.

I think anyone (regardless of ethnicity) who wants to vandalize the bathroom should be removed so that those who want to learn (regardless of ethnicity) will be free to do so. Vandals can be suspended (either in-school with restricted bathroom access or at-home) and provided access to virtual learning should they decide they actually want to be learners. If repeated suspensions prove that they have no interest in learning and the only school activity they will participate in is vandalism, then I agree that expulsion should be an option.

In order to avoid stigmatizing people with destructive behavior, we’ve turned the discipline policy on its end. Instead of punishing troublemakers to hopefully modify their behavior and focus on learning (or at the very least remove their disruptive influence so that those who want to can learn), we now punish EVERYONE, and still have the problem of disruptive behavior. To simply:
Old system - punish the guilty, less disruption and more learning
New system - don’t punish the guilty, more disruption, everyone is restricted/punished, less learning

If you want to help BIPOC learners, focus more on “learner” and less on “BIPOC”.

That was the old system. It was tried and it failed, like Prohibition failed.

Plus, the punishments you suggest we return to are racist.

How did it fail? Bathrooms weren’t destroyed and they weren’t locked?

How are the punishments racist? If the same punishments are given for the same offenses, race isn’t a factor.

The reason detentions, suspensions, and expulsions are all racist is because study after study has shown these disciplinary actions have a disparate impact on BIPOC learners.

That is why so-called school discipline is racist and cannot be allowed.

+1

A cornerstone of DEIA is inclusion; meaning: BIPOC students must of course be included.

But a student who has been unfairly expelled , and who is likely to be BIPOC, by definition is not being included. Just the opposite, they are being excluded.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get reach for the principal to not care. So before this isuse makes youeven more frustrated, think about it....

Is your DD bathroom issue only because of "feminine hygiene". If so, it should not happen more than 5 time a month. Also, aren't the tardies counted per class? Is her bathroom visit at the same time each day? If so, a reasonable teacher should excuse at least one or two, especially if it's not being abused and the kid is otherwise a good and on-time student. This is a good learning opportunity for your kid. She doesn't need to thell the teacher WHY, just that she was waiting to use the bathroom.

I would tell my daughter to try and visit the bathroom earlier. But I am less concerned with a few tardies or unexcused absences. 5 minutes is not going to affect her learning that much - the average teacher does not start teaching critical material for a 9am class at 9am on the dot.

Also the administration probably knows the issue, because they can see the kids walking in the hall after class starts or waiting to use the bathroom. I'd save my "Mom handling my kids problem" email for a bigger hill.

This has to have been written by a man. You don't remember having your period in 8th grade? Sometimes you have to change your tampon 1x/hr; sometimes once every few hours. But certainly more than once a day (!) for 5 days!

men truly have no clue. It’s wild.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait. If they do not have enough staff for bathroom monitors, then how are they enforcing one child at a time in the bathroom?

The teachers enforce it which means that it only falls on the kids who are good kids and listen to the teachers.

Can you imagine if your employer told you that you couldn’t go to the bathroom because of the possibility that some other people might vandalize the bathroom? You’d be calling the state regulations. It’s ridiculous. The school district has to bear the cost of vandalism — not individual children.

Even with the safety thing, the odds of my kids being caught in a bathroom fight are infinitesimal. The odds of them being uncomfortable and unable to focus on their work because they couldn’t use the bathroom are extremely high.

Can you imagine if you were an employee and you etched racist/profane writing into the bathroom wall, emptied the soap onto the floor, attempted to flushed your vape pen down the toilet, rendering it unusable, and were taking pictures and videos in the bathroom. You’d be fired. We can’t fire kids from school. And good luck expelling.

“Expelling” learners has been repeatedly shown to have a disparate impact on BIPOC learners; it is the very opposite of the goal of economic and racial equity (which is the “E” in DEI).

Public schools need more DEI, not less.

BIPOC learners?

People skipping class to vandalize bathrooms, do drugs in bathrooms, have sex in bathrooms, or otherwise misuse the bathrooms are not learning anything, BIPOC or not.

The learners (BIPOC included) are the ones whose learning experience (and possibly health) is compromised by them not being able to tend to their physical needs.

I think anyone (regardless of ethnicity) who wants to vandalize the bathroom should be removed so that those who want to learn (regardless of ethnicity) will be free to do so. Vandals can be suspended (either in-school with restricted bathroom access or at-home) and provided access to virtual learning should they decide they actually want to be learners. If repeated suspensions prove that they have no interest in learning and the only school activity they will participate in is vandalism, then I agree that expulsion should be an option.

In order to avoid stigmatizing people with destructive behavior, we’ve turned the discipline policy on its end. Instead of punishing troublemakers to hopefully modify their behavior and focus on learning (or at the very least remove their disruptive influence so that those who want to can learn), we now punish EVERYONE, and still have the problem of disruptive behavior. To simply:
Old system - punish the guilty, less disruption and more learning
New system - don’t punish the guilty, more disruption, everyone is restricted/punished, less learning

If you want to help BIPOC learners, focus more on “learner” and less on “BIPOC”.

That was the old system. It was tried and it failed, like Prohibition failed.

Plus, the punishments you suggest we return to are racist.

How did it fail? Bathrooms weren’t destroyed and they weren’t locked?

How are the punishments racist? If the same punishments are given for the same offenses, race isn’t a factor.

The reason detentions, suspensions, and expulsions are all racist is because study after study has shown these disciplinary actions have a disparate impact on BIPOC learners.

That is why so-called school discipline is racist and cannot be allowed.

No sure if serious...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe some of you are in favor of this. Bathrooms were inaccessible like this when I was in high school and I coped by not drinking any water at all during the day. I had constant anxiety about needing to use the bathroom and not being able to, and also a lot of headaches and digestive issues from being dehydrated.

That’s dramatic. No one in high school in the 90s early 2000s was carrying around a water bottle drinking water all day. We were all fine. No one was have digestive problems and headaches from not carrying around their Stanley all day.

It isn’t that I’m in favor or limiting the bathroom, but I just don’t see it as that big of a deal. You get 20-30 min lunch plus 5 min in between classes. Figure out when to fit in bathroom breaks if you need to. Most heathy teens don’t need to use the bathroom very often. Most teachers grant exceptions too. If this is a problem for your particular student then talk to principal or teachers. But it actually is a reasonable expectation for most students to contain bathroom trips to lunch and passing time- and most kids are fine with this

NP. I graduated HS in 2002. I didn’t drink anything until sports practice in the afternoon because of lack of bathrooom access. They were closed from the first bell until lunch unless you could get in line for the one available to all classrooms during passing periods. Our passing periods were 3 minutes from bell to bell, and teachers docked points for packing before the bell or arriving after it. 3 minutes is hardly time to remove clothing, change a pad, and wash hands, let alone deal with a purse, stall locks, lines, and the walk to the next class. Teachers who did allow passes gave you bonus points if you did not use them. I saved my passes because I had intense ambitions to get out of my suburb (I got into Stanford and HYP and went to an HYP).

I definitely had digestive issues from not being able to use the bathroom when needed, and was constantly swinging between constipation and diarrhea from being either dehydrated or holding it for too long.

I had irregular periods and had to leave during the school day multiple times because I bled through before I was allowed to go to the bathroom.

I remember a really insensitive and ignorant male teacher in HS asking why girls had to go to the bathroom all the time. He thought periods were like urine and could just be held and released voluntarily. I think some men on this thread think the same thing.

[Anonymous]

I’m a high school teacher. Let me tell you what I see.

- A kid she’s friends with walks by my classroom door, and a female student asks to use the bathroom. When I say no, I get, “I am on period!” This is front of everyone, they don’t care. This particular girl is “on her period” every time she sees me. Told an Arlington mom that I used to be friends with this story (no names, of course) and she instantly came to her defense. That happens to some girls. Really? Thanks for the trust in my professional judgment (I am a woman by the way.) This girl has all E’s, but she’s smart enough to know how to work my bathroom pass. I promise you.

- As soon as work is assigned, the same kid wants to go to the bathroom. It’s classic work avoidance. He’s not doing well and he needs to be in the room. Then, I have to take his late work, give him retakes, etc.

- Lunch periods. They all want to use the bathroom when A, B, or C lunch gets out so they can find and talk to their friends.

I let most kids use the bathroom most of the time. I really doubt anyone is actually suffering if I ask them to wait 10 minutes until the hallway has cleared out for lunch.

I’d also like you to add that at my Arlington high school, there is an additional 40-minute free period every morning. The kids could use the bathroom then, but the same ones will come in to class right after that and ask for my pass. These kids weren’t visiting teachers or making up tests. They were screwing around in the hallway. Please trust me. I’m there everyday. I see them.

Sometimes, another student hijacks the pass and I’m only allowed to let them go one at a time.

If a student is not exhibiting any of the behaviors I’ve described, I’d say 99% of the time I let them go. You want safe schools and high test scores? Trust me and let me do my job. They don’t all have medical issues, Friends! If they do, please get it documented.

I’d also recommend that parents push for an electronic bathroom pass system. Boy, would it be helpful for an administrator to have data on students that are going all day every day for 10 minutes at a time. To see who is going ant the same times. And to show their parents, some of whom may believe they are also having medical issues, on their periods, etc. Not any of you, of course. But it happens. That data would be great. Did I mention these parents want them to have all “A”s, too??

[Anonymous]

Also… for the lady that thinks kids should need to change their tampons every hour for five days… that’s not normal. You should have that checked out. It sounds like endometriosis.

[Anonymous]

After my rant on bathroom passes, I also want to add that OP has point, though. One kid at a time during passing times is not sustainable. They need staff in there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait. If they do not have enough staff for bathroom monitors, then how are they enforcing one child at a time in the bathroom?

The teachers enforce it which means that it only falls on the kids who are good kids and listen to the teachers.

Can you imagine if your employer told you that you couldn’t go to the bathroom because of the possibility that some other people might vandalize the bathroom? You’d be calling the state regulations. It’s ridiculous. The school district has to bear the cost of vandalism — not individual children.

Even with the safety thing, the odds of my kids being caught in a bathroom fight are infinitesimal. The odds of them being uncomfortable and unable to focus on their work because they couldn’t use the bathroom are extremely high.

Can you imagine if you were an employee and you etched racist/profane writing into the bathroom wall, emptied the soap onto the floor, attempted to flushed your vape pen down the toilet, rendering it unusable, and were taking pictures and videos in the bathroom. You’d be fired. We can’t fire kids from school. And good luck expelling.

“Expelling” learners has been repeatedly shown to have a disparate impact on BIPOC learners; it is the very opposite of the goal of economic and racial equity (which is the “E” in DEI).

Public schools need more DEI, not less.

BIPOC learners?

People skipping class to vandalize bathrooms, do drugs in bathrooms, have sex in bathrooms, or otherwise misuse the bathrooms are not learning anything, BIPOC or not.

The learners (BIPOC included) are the ones whose learning experience (and possibly health) is compromised by them not being able to tend to their physical needs.

I think anyone (regardless of ethnicity) who wants to vandalize the bathroom should be removed so that those who want to learn (regardless of ethnicity) will be free to do so. Vandals can be suspended (either in-school with restricted bathroom access or at-home) and provided access to virtual learning should they decide they actually want to be learners. If repeated suspensions prove that they have no interest in learning and the only school activity they will participate in is vandalism, then I agree that expulsion should be an option.

In order to avoid stigmatizing people with destructive behavior, we’ve turned the discipline policy on its end. Instead of punishing troublemakers to hopefully modify their behavior and focus on learning (or at the very least remove their disruptive influence so that those who want to can learn), we now punish EVERYONE, and still have the problem of disruptive behavior. To simply:
Old system - punish the guilty, less disruption and more learning
New system - don’t punish the guilty, more disruption, everyone is restricted/punished, less learning

If you want to help BIPOC learners, focus more on “learner” and less on “BIPOC”.

That was the old system. It was tried and it failed, like Prohibition failed.

Plus, the punishments you suggest we return to are racist.

How did it fail? Bathrooms weren’t destroyed and they weren’t locked?

How are the punishments racist? If the same punishments are given for the same offenses, race isn’t a factor.

The reason detentions, suspensions, and expulsions are all racist is because study after study has shown these disciplinary actions have a disparate impact on BIPOC learners.

That is why so-called school discipline is racist and cannot be allowed.

This is part of the problem. "Studies" show that BIPOC boys with disabilities are more likely to be suspended or expelled than Asian girls, without giving a reason for the suspensions or expulsions. Also, these kids are more likely to have problems later in life. Schools freak out and decide they won't suspend or expel anyone because they want everything to be equal while kids are in school and also after graduation. Administrators and school districts love it because they can tell everyone they reduced suspensions and expulsions by 97% and they get a gold star for equity! There have been no "studies" that show this system actually reduces problem behaviors in school because schools aren't keeping any kind of real data on that. There are also no studies showing better post-graduation outcomes for the kids who are no longer getting disciplined for destroying property, fighting, or skipping classes. If such studies existed, they'd be cited all over the place by every single school district.