Bathroom usage: Would you contact the school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, update?

No real update. Apparently this is the new procedure, yes. According to someone I spoke with, one teacher said there were many tardies yesterday, though he didn’t mark anyone tardy, he said especially girls, that he understood what the issue likely was.

I’m waiting to hear what the permanent solution is and what they plan to do when this causes excessive tardies. I think they honestly didn’t think that far ahead, so this should be interesting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know why parents aren’t rioting in the streets about this bathroom insanity. If the school has kids that are so poorly behaved that they are doing whatever the issue is inside the bathrooms then the schools need to get rid of those kids, not take away bathrooms for all students at school.

They can’t “get rid of those kids.” They just can’t, for many reasons. We have dismantled the discipline system in schools in the name of equity, and many parents don’t discipline effectively, and/or the kids has an IEP, or some other excuse. This is the reality in many schools. Schools haven’t taken away bathrooms, there are just strict limits on them. Nearly all kids have managed to work within these limits. No one is soiling themselves in school. OPs kid will manage, like all the rest.

Sure. She will manage by waiting in line—and then being tardy. And with enough tardies, she will be suspended.

Or, she holds her urine and feces, and bleeds all over her clothes.

That isn’t happening. Nearly girl in the middle school is menstruating. No one is peeing themselves and bleeding all over. OPs kid can figure it out. Maybe it means wearing period underwear as back up, packing lunch that week so she has more time during lunch hour to use bathroom, using bathroom before/after the classes that are very close to bathroom. She can figure it out. Plus on the rare occasion she absolutely has to go during class they have emergency passes and most teachers are reasonable if she hasn’t abused passes.

Between being strategic about when to use the bathroom for most efficacy, lunch time, emergency passes, and an occasional tardy- she should be fine

She had two tardies in one seven hour day because she was forced to stand in line in order to change her bloody pad. If she acquires enough tardies, she faces the consequence of losing school privileges (dances, playing and attending sports, etc) and if she accrues enough, she faces expulsion. I get what you’re saying, but you’re not getting what I’m saying. The school came up with a temporary solution, but what’s the long game? The best solution can’t possibly be standing in line, which causes tardiness.

It’s one day and the policy just started. The long game is your daughter figures out how/when to use the bathroom during passing time, lunch, and with emergency passes in order to be in class on time. She will figure it out.

[Anonymous]

Public school sounds like prison.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know why parents aren’t rioting in the streets about this bathroom insanity. If the school has kids that are so poorly behaved that they are doing whatever the issue is inside the bathrooms then the schools need to get rid of those kids, not take away bathrooms for all students at school.

They can’t “get rid of those kids.” They just can’t, for many reasons. We have dismantled the discipline system in schools in the name of equity, and many parents don’t discipline effectively, and/or the kids has an IEP, or some other excuse. This is the reality in many schools. Schools haven’t taken away bathrooms, there are just strict limits on them. Nearly all kids have managed to work within these limits. No one is soiling themselves in school. OPs kid will manage, like all the rest.

Sure. She will manage by waiting in line—and then being tardy. And with enough tardies, she will be suspended.

Or, she holds her urine and feces, and bleeds all over her clothes.

That isn’t happening. Nearly girl in the middle school is menstruating. No one is peeing themselves and bleeding all over. OPs kid can figure it out. Maybe it means wearing period underwear as back up, packing lunch that week so she has more time during lunch hour to use bathroom, using bathroom before/after the classes that are very close to bathroom. She can figure it out. Plus on the rare occasion she absolutely has to go during class they have emergency passes and most teachers are reasonable if she hasn’t abused passes.

Between being strategic about when to use the bathroom for most efficacy, lunch time, emergency passes, and an occasional tardy- she should be fine

She had two tardies in one seven hour day because she was forced to stand in line in order to change her bloody pad. If she acquires enough tardies, she faces the consequence of losing school privileges (dances, playing and attending sports, etc) and if she accrues enough, she faces expulsion. I get what you’re saying, but you’re not getting what I’m saying. The school came up with a temporary solution, but what’s the long game? The best solution can’t possibly be standing in line, which causes tardiness.

It’s one day and the policy just started. The long game is your daughter figures out how/when to use the bathroom during passing time, lunch, and with emergency passes in order to be in class on time. She will figure it out.

You don’t just “figure out” when you need to change a pad, or poop, or whatever, and it’s ridiculous to say a person should have to wait. And wait until when? Passing time? That’s when she DID wait until, and so did every other girl, hence the line. Lunch? What if her pad doesn’t need changing then but suddenly does later? What if she doesn’t need to make a BM at lunch but then suddenly does later. And what “emergency pass”? I already established that those have been abolished, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, update?

No real update. Apparently this is the new procedure, yes. According to someone I spoke with, one teacher said there were many tardies yesterday, though he didn’t mark anyone tardy, he said especially girls, that he understood what the issue likely was.

I’m waiting to hear what the permanent solution is and what they plan to do when this causes excessive tardies. I think they honestly didn’t think that far ahead, so this should be interesting.

I’m glad you reached out because it really is an unreasonable rule. I know there’s an issue with the bathrooms, but it’s unfair and I’m glad there are noticing and realizing that they did not think it through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, update?

No real update. Apparently this is the new procedure, yes. According to someone I spoke with, one teacher said there were many tardies yesterday, though he didn’t mark anyone tardy, he said especially girls, that he understood what the issue likely was.

I’m waiting to hear what the permanent solution is and what they plan to do when this causes excessive tardies. I think they honestly didn’t think that far ahead, so this should be interesting.

I’m glad you reached out because it really is an unreasonable rule. I know there’s an issue with the bathrooms, but it’s unfair and I’m glad there are noticing and realizing that they did not think it through.

They must know because they’ve just removed her tardies. I’m glad I spoke up and hope they come up with a better solution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait. If they do not have enough staff for bathroom monitors, then how are they enforcing one child at a time in the bathroom?

The teachers enforce it which means that it only falls on the kids who are good kids and listen to the teachers.

Can you imagine if your employer told you that you couldn’t go to the bathroom because of the possibility that some other people might vandalize the bathroom? You’d be calling the state regulations. It’s ridiculous. The school district has to bear the cost of vandalism — not individual children.

Even with the safety thing, the odds of my kids being caught in a bathroom fight are infinitesimal. The odds of them being uncomfortable and unable to focus on their work because they couldn’t use the bathroom are extremely high.

Can you imagine if you were an employee and you etched racist/profane writing into the bathroom wall, emptied the soap onto the floor, attempted to flushed your vape pen down the toilet, rendering it unusable, and were taking pictures and videos in the bathroom. You’d be fired. We can’t fire kids from school. And good luck expelling.

“Expelling” learners has been repeatedly shown to have a disparate impact on BIPOC learners; it is the very opposite of the goal of economic and racial equity (which is the “E” in DEI).

Public schools need more DEI, not less.

BIPOC learners?

People skipping class to vandalize bathrooms, do drugs in bathrooms, have sex in bathrooms, or otherwise misuse the bathrooms are not learning anything, BIPOC or not.

The learners (BIPOC included) are the ones whose learning experience (and possibly health) is compromised by them not being able to tend to their physical needs.

I think anyone (regardless of ethnicity) who wants to vandalize the bathroom should be removed so that those who want to learn (regardless of ethnicity) will be free to do so. Vandals can be suspended (either in-school with restricted bathroom access or at-home) and provided access to virtual learning should they decide they actually want to be learners. If repeated suspensions prove that they have no interest in learning and the only school activity they will participate in is vandalism, then I agree that expulsion should be an option.

In order to avoid stigmatizing people with destructive behavior, we’ve turned the discipline policy on its end. Instead of punishing troublemakers to hopefully modify their behavior and focus on learning (or at the very least remove their disruptive influence so that those who want to can learn), we now punish EVERYONE, and still have the problem of disruptive behavior. To simply:
Old system - punish the guilty, less disruption and more learning
New system - don’t punish the guilty, more disruption, everyone is restricted/punished, less learning

If you want to help BIPOC learners, focus more on “learner” and less on “BIPOC”.

[Anonymous]

I don't have time to read replies but this is a big deal at my kid's middle school which is overenrolled. It is a big crowded school and takes a long time to go from one end to the other AND some teachers don't allow bathroom breaks during class. I understand that some kids abuse the system and dawdle (or worse) in the bathrooms but this system isn't working!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know why parents aren’t rioting in the streets about this bathroom insanity. If the school has kids that are so poorly behaved that they are doing whatever the issue is inside the bathrooms then the schools need to get rid of those kids, not take away bathrooms for all students at school.

They can’t “get rid of those kids.” They just can’t, for many reasons. We have dismantled the discipline system in schools in the name of equity, and many parents don’t discipline effectively, and/or the kids has an IEP, or some other excuse. This is the reality in many schools. Schools haven’t taken away bathrooms, there are just strict limits on them. Nearly all kids have managed to work within these limits. No one is soiling themselves in school. OPs kid will manage, like all the rest.

Sure. She will manage by waiting in line—and then being tardy. And with enough tardies, she will be suspended.

Or, she holds her urine and feces, and bleeds all over her clothes.

That isn’t happening. Nearly girl in the middle school is menstruating. No one is peeing themselves and bleeding all over. OPs kid can figure it out. Maybe it means wearing period underwear as back up, packing lunch that week so she has more time during lunch hour to use bathroom, using bathroom before/after the classes that are very close to bathroom. She can figure it out. Plus on the rare occasion she absolutely has to go during class they have emergency passes and most teachers are reasonable if she hasn’t abused passes.

Between being strategic about when to use the bathroom for most efficacy, lunch time, emergency passes, and an occasional tardy- she should be fine

I think you're uninformed. About half the girls in MS are menstruating. Some of them are bleeding/staining or having other accidents. Some of them are staying home from school, or leaving school early, when their period is heavy because they can't access the bathroom often enough. Some are also giving themselves other medical issues by not drinking enough during the day due to bathroom access.
I'm also taking issue with your "most teachers are reasonable." It's true, "most" are. But if you have two teachers that are totally unreasonable and have an ABSOLUTELY NO PASSES policy (which is true for some teachers) or "you can have a pass but only after I totally interrogate you about it and ask you repeatedly if you really, really need or if you can wait" (true for some teachers), that's really enough to ruin your day. Once my kid graduates, I am sending all of those teachers a nasty email, with a copy to the administration, so that they know the impact that they are having on girls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Public school sounds like prison.

It always was. Even in the 80’s.

[Anonymous]

Op, which school is this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I support you emailing. I support ALL of us emailing. It's utterly ridiculous that they punish a whole school of kids with limited bathroom access due to the actions of a few kids. I feel like this is basically a Geneva Convention violation. It would definitely be an OSHA violation. I don't know why we can get away with treating kids like this.

Do you have any idea how stupid you sound with this, referencing something designed to protect combatants and civilians in a war?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know why parents aren’t rioting in the streets about this bathroom insanity. If the school has kids that are so poorly behaved that they are doing whatever the issue is inside the bathrooms then the schools need to get rid of those kids, not take away bathrooms for all students at school.

They can’t “get rid of those kids.” They just can’t, for many reasons. We have dismantled the discipline system in schools in the name of equity, and many parents don’t discipline effectively, and/or the kids has an IEP, or some other excuse. This is the reality in many schools. Schools haven’t taken away bathrooms, there are just strict limits on them. Nearly all kids have managed to work within these limits. No one is soiling themselves in school. OPs kid will manage, like all the rest.

Sure. She will manage by waiting in line—and then being tardy. And with enough tardies, she will be suspended.

Or, she holds her urine and feces, and bleeds all over her clothes.

That isn’t happening. Nearly girl in the middle school is menstruating. No one is peeing themselves and bleeding all over. OPs kid can figure it out. Maybe it means wearing period underwear as back up, packing lunch that week so she has more time during lunch hour to use bathroom, using bathroom before/after the classes that are very close to bathroom. She can figure it out. Plus on the rare occasion she absolutely has to go during class they have emergency passes and most teachers are reasonable if she hasn’t abused passes.

Between being strategic about when to use the bathroom for most efficacy, lunch time, emergency passes, and an occasional tardy- she should be fine

I think you're uninformed. About half the girls in MS are menstruating. Some of them are bleeding/staining or having other accidents. Some of them are staying home from school, or leaving school early, when their period is heavy because they can't access the bathroom often enough. Some are also giving themselves other medical issues by not drinking enough during the day due to bathroom access.
I'm also taking issue with your "most teachers are reasonable." It's true, "most" are. But if you have two teachers that are totally unreasonable and have an ABSOLUTELY NO PASSES policy (which is true for some teachers) or "you can have a pass but only after I totally interrogate you about it and ask you repeatedly if you really, really need or if you can wait" (true for some teachers), that's really enough to ruin your day. Once my kid graduates, I am sending all of those teachers a nasty email, with a copy to the administration, so that they know the impact that they are having on girls.

YOU are uninformed. Majority of kids manage just fine around bathroom rules. If your kid can’t, then that’s a problem for you to figure out with the school-
But not a reason for the school to abandon their rules and policies. The truth is it is way for than a few kids being problematic in the bathrooms- they tried other solutions, they didn’t work. Which is why they came down with these strict rules in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, update?

No real update. Apparently this is the new procedure, yes. According to someone I spoke with, one teacher said there were many tardies yesterday, though he didn’t mark anyone tardy, he said especially girls, that he understood what the issue likely was.

I’m waiting to hear what the permanent solution is and what they plan to do when this causes excessive tardies. I think they honestly didn’t think that far ahead, so this should be interesting.

By can’t she just use the boys bathroom?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait. If they do not have enough staff for bathroom monitors, then how are they enforcing one child at a time in the bathroom?

The teachers enforce it which means that it only falls on the kids who are good kids and listen to the teachers.

Can you imagine if your employer told you that you couldn’t go to the bathroom because of the possibility that some other people might vandalize the bathroom? You’d be calling the state regulations. It’s ridiculous. The school district has to bear the cost of vandalism — not individual children.

Even with the safety thing, the odds of my kids being caught in a bathroom fight are infinitesimal. The odds of them being uncomfortable and unable to focus on their work because they couldn’t use the bathroom are extremely high.

Can you imagine if you were an employee and you etched racist/profane writing into the bathroom wall, emptied the soap onto the floor, attempted to flushed your vape pen down the toilet, rendering it unusable, and were taking pictures and videos in the bathroom. You’d be fired. We can’t fire kids from school. And good luck expelling.

“Expelling” learners has been repeatedly shown to have a disparate impact on BIPOC learners; it is the very opposite of the goal of economic and racial equity (which is the “E” in DEI).

Public schools need more DEI, not less.

BIPOC learners?

People skipping class to vandalize bathrooms, do drugs in bathrooms, have sex in bathrooms, or otherwise misuse the bathrooms are not learning anything, BIPOC or not.

The learners (BIPOC included) are the ones whose learning experience (and possibly health) is compromised by them not being able to tend to their physical needs.

I think anyone (regardless of ethnicity) who wants to vandalize the bathroom should be removed so that those who want to learn (regardless of ethnicity) will be free to do so. Vandals can be suspended (either in-school with restricted bathroom access or at-home) and provided access to virtual learning should they decide they actually want to be learners. If repeated suspensions prove that they have no interest in learning and the only school activity they will participate in is vandalism, then I agree that expulsion should be an option.

In order to avoid stigmatizing people with destructive behavior, we’ve turned the discipline policy on its end. Instead of punishing troublemakers to hopefully modify their behavior and focus on learning (or at the very least remove their disruptive influence so that those who want to can learn), we now punish EVERYONE, and still have the problem of disruptive behavior. To simply:
Old system - punish the guilty, less disruption and more learning
New system - don’t punish the guilty, more disruption, everyone is restricted/punished, less learning

If you want to help BIPOC learners, focus more on “learner” and less on “BIPOC”.

That was the old system. It was tried and it failed, like Prohibition failed.

Plus, the punishments you suggest we return to are racist.