College advice for someone living in the Midwest!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
No need to be rude about it. Kids in different areas have different cultures. As an ex-Californian, my best friend in my new Pennsylvania middle school was another ex-Californian. We're still friends today even though she returned to California.

I came to PA from a MoCo "W school" feeder middle school that was pretty nasty. I later chose not to raise my kids in the DCUM heartland because of that. Even though I enjoyed living and working in the DMV as a young adult. I've found parents on here that say my old middle school is still nasty for the same reasons it was 40 years ago. It's validating.

I live in the Rust Belt Midwest now. My quality of life is great. But I am a bit non-Midwest for this area. I have two kids born here so I see how they indoctrinate kids firsthand.

People have different life experiences. If OP's kid wants to GTFO of Missouri, then help her.

What kind of indoctrination are you talking about?

[Anonymous]

Some of these replies are pretty harsh.

It sounds like OP’d kid was uprooted from a friend group to Missouri and hasn’t found her people there. If you were a teenager, you might translate this into a general dislike for Missouri and the Midwest.

The obvious discussion with the kid is to point out that there will be lots of new kids in college wherever she goes. But maybe OP is feeling guilty for the move so doesn’t want to tell her kid she’s never getting the friend group she left behind on the East Coast back.

That’s a discussion worth having, both in general and especially if finances are an issue. People have to move for lots of reasons and OP’s kid isn’t owed an East Coast or West Coast education they can’t afford. Sure, they can explore those options, but DD has to understand they are only options if they are affordable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What college does she want to go to? Is she even being reasonable?

She is not being reasonable if the kid is blanket rejecting every school in Misdouri, including Mizzou.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can also chasing ROTC money

If she is ruling out entire states, then ROTC and the military are not really a viable path.

Military members need to be adventurous, flexible and adaptive, as well as very good at turning $hitty locations into amazing life experiences.

[Anonymous]

OP, does she live on the Kansas side of Missouri or the St. Louis side?

I could not do the Kansas side of Missouri. It is too flat and full of suburban mcmansion strip mall living, an non stop football.

The St. Louis side is much prettier, and has many little ethnic neighborhoods with different character that kind of grew together. The architecture is more charming as a result of the history of the city. The topography of the land looks a lot like parts of Virginia, just a little hillier with more winding roads, which might help with homesickness. If she feels like she hasn't found her people in Missouri, Webster University in Webster Groves just outside of St. Louis might be worth visiting. The school is smaller and gives good merit and financial aide. The students are often atsy liberal arts type kids, vs Go Chiefs midwest sports types. Webster Groves is a cute cute cute little town just outside of St. Louis proper, with nearby Kirkwood a few minutes away, and areas like The Loop not too far.

Webster University is a school worth exploring, or at least visiting. You might even get enough scholarship money and aide to put it close to your budget.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, does she live on the Kansas side of Missouri or the St. Louis side?

I could not do the Kansas side of Missouri. It is too flat and full of suburban mcmansion strip mall living, an non stop football.

The St. Louis side is much prettier, and has many little ethnic neighborhoods with different character that kind of grew together. The architecture is more charming as a result of the history of the city. The topography of the land looks a lot like parts of Virginia, just a little hillier with more winding roads, which might help with homesickness. If she feels like she hasn't found her people in Missouri, Webster University in Webster Groves just outside of St. Louis might be worth visiting. The school is smaller and gives good merit and financial aide. The students are often atsy liberal arts type kids, vs Go Chiefs midwest sports types. Webster Groves is a cute cute cute little town just outside of St. Louis proper, with nearby Kirkwood a few minutes away, and areas like The Loop not too far.

Webster University is a school worth exploring, or at least visiting. You might even get enough scholarship money and aide to put it close to your budget.

Full-time undergraduate tuition (except Conservatory) per academic year $31,450 flat fee

https://www.webster.edu/admissions/undergraduate/tuition.php

Residence Hall
Fall 2024–Spring 2025
Semester Rate
East Hall
Single $3,800
Double $3,375
Triple (limited availability) n/a
Maria Hall/West Hall
Double $3,250

https://www.webster.edu/housing/housing-costs.php

Meal plans are the fairly standard $2200-$2800/semester range.

She could easily get enough merit or aide to put the entire thing right withing your budget.


Webster has a fairly vibrant performing arts conservatory that gets kids from all over the country, including east coast kids.

It also has some really great study abroad opportunities, including the UK and Austria.

Have her take a look at Webster. It might give you a good in state option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of these replies are pretty harsh.

It sounds like OP’d kid was uprooted from a friend group to Missouri and hasn’t found her people there. If you were a teenager, you might translate this into a general dislike for Missouri and the Midwest.

The obvious discussion with the kid is to point out that there will be lots of new kids in college wherever she goes. But maybe OP is feeling guilty for the move so doesn’t want to tell her kid she’s never getting the friend group she left behind on the East Coast back.

That’s a discussion worth having, both in general and especially if finances are an issue. People have to move for lots of reasons and OP’s kid isn’t owed an East Coast or West Coast education they can’t afford. Sure, they can explore those options, but DD has to understand they are only options if they are affordable.

Op said the kid is a junior and they moved several years ago. I'm going to assume several means two. That's enough time for the kid to adjust. It's not harsh to point out the kid's attitude and dismissal of a whole state is a problem.

Good luck op.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get her to a blue state

Do not leave a college aged daughter in MO you are insane to do so

+1. Can’t imagine education would be that great in a red state either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
No need to be rude about it. Kids in different areas have different cultures. As an ex-Californian, my best friend in my new Pennsylvania middle school was another ex-Californian. We're still friends today even though she returned to California.

I came to PA from a MoCo "W school" feeder middle school that was pretty nasty. I later chose not to raise my kids in the DCUM heartland because of that. Even though I enjoyed living and working in the DMV as a young adult. I've found parents on here that say my old middle school is still nasty for the same reasons it was 40 years ago. It's validating.

I live in the Rust Belt Midwest now. My quality of life is great. But I am a bit non-Midwest for this area. I have two kids born here so I see how they indoctrinate kids firsthand.

People have different life experiences. If OP's kid wants to GTFO of Missouri, then help her.

What kind of indoctrination are you talking about?

PP. "Midwest Nice" (which is not always that nice...)

It doesn't summarize easily but I've seen a lot of stuff in the public schools that tracks with the behaviors of my local work colleagues. Stuff I never encountered in California, Maryland, or Pennsylvania.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
No need to be rude about it. Kids in different areas have different cultures. As an ex-Californian, my best friend in my new Pennsylvania middle school was another ex-Californian. We're still friends today even though she returned to California.

I came to PA from a MoCo "W school" feeder middle school that was pretty nasty. I later chose not to raise my kids in the DCUM heartland because of that. Even though I enjoyed living and working in the DMV as a young adult. I've found parents on here that say my old middle school is still nasty for the same reasons it was 40 years ago. It's validating.

I live in the Rust Belt Midwest now. My quality of life is great. But I am a bit non-Midwest for this area. I have two kids born here so I see how they indoctrinate kids firsthand.

People have different life experiences. If OP's kid wants to GTFO of Missouri, then help her.

What kind of indoctrination are you talking about?

PP. "Midwest Nice" (which is not always that nice...)

It doesn't summarize easily but I've seen a lot of stuff in the public schools that tracks with the behaviors of my local work colleagues. Stuff I never encountered in California, Maryland, or Pennsylvania.

Now you are just making up things

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get her to a blue state

Do not leave a college aged daughter in MO you are insane to do so

+1. Can’t imagine education would be that great in a red state either.

You know what they say about assuming.

[Anonymous]

Missouris not the Midwest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Missouris not the Midwest.

Missouri is the heart of the midwest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
No need to be rude about it. Kids in different areas have different cultures. As an ex-Californian, my best friend in my new Pennsylvania middle school was another ex-Californian. We're still friends today even though she returned to California.

I came to PA from a MoCo "W school" feeder middle school that was pretty nasty. I later chose not to raise my kids in the DCUM heartland because of that. Even though I enjoyed living and working in the DMV as a young adult. I've found parents on here that say my old middle school is still nasty for the same reasons it was 40 years ago. It's validating.

I live in the Rust Belt Midwest now. My quality of life is great. But I am a bit non-Midwest for this area. I have two kids born here so I see how they indoctrinate kids firsthand.

People have different life experiences. If OP's kid wants to GTFO of Missouri, then help her.

What kind of indoctrination are you talking about?

PP. "Midwest Nice" (which is not always that nice...)

It doesn't summarize easily but I've seen a lot of stuff in the public schools that tracks with the behaviors of my local work colleagues. Stuff I never encountered in California, Maryland, or Pennsylvania.

Now you are just making up things

PP. There's no reasonable way to argue with you. But norms definitely vary from region to region. Perhaps you haven't moved around enough to get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of these replies are pretty harsh.

It sounds like OP’d kid was uprooted from a friend group to Missouri and hasn’t found her people there. If you were a teenager, you might translate this into a general dislike for Missouri and the Midwest.

The obvious discussion with the kid is to point out that there will be lots of new kids in college wherever she goes. But maybe OP is feeling guilty for the move so doesn’t want to tell her kid she’s never getting the friend group she left behind on the East Coast back.

That’s a discussion worth having, both in general and especially if finances are an issue. People have to move for lots of reasons and OP’s kid isn’t owed an East Coast or West Coast education they can’t afford. Sure, they can explore those options, but DD has to understand they are only options if they are affordable.

Op said the kid is a junior and they moved several years ago. I'm going to assume several means two. That's enough time for the kid to adjust. It's not harsh to point out the kid's attitude and dismissal of a whole state is a problem.

Good luck op.

I grew up in the Midwest and I would dismiss all of Missouri too. Sorry. The Midwest is just not some people’s cup of tea. As for that whole “Midwest nice” thing, you can see how long that lasts from this thread of nasty responses about a child just because she doesn’t like her new state.