College advice for someone living in the Midwest!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of these replies are pretty harsh.

It sounds like OP’d kid was uprooted from a friend group to Missouri and hasn’t found her people there. If you were a teenager, you might translate this into a general dislike for Missouri and the Midwest.

The obvious discussion with the kid is to point out that there will be lots of new kids in college wherever she goes. But maybe OP is feeling guilty for the move so doesn’t want to tell her kid she’s never getting the friend group she left behind on the East Coast back.

That’s a discussion worth having, both in general and especially if finances are an issue. People have to move for lots of reasons and OP’s kid isn’t owed an East Coast or West Coast education they can’t afford. Sure, they can explore those options, but DD has to understand they are only options if they are affordable.

Op said the kid is a junior and they moved several years ago. I'm going to assume several means two. That's enough time for the kid to adjust. It's not harsh to point out the kid's attitude and dismissal of a whole state is a problem.

Good luck op.

I grew up in the Midwest and I would dismiss all of Missouri too. Sorry. The Midwest is just not some people’s cup of tea. As for that whole “Midwest nice” thing, you can see how long that lasts from this thread of nasty responses about a child just because she doesn’t like her new state.

Those are just the regular trolls who do that to every post on every thread.

They are probably some of the same posters slamming Missouri and wailing about red vs blue states.

I doubt they are from Missouri, lived in Missouri or even visited Missouri.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We moved from Virginia to Missouri a few years ago, and now DD (current junior) is unhappy with her in state college options.
We cannot afford to pay out of state tuition. We have done some research and it looks like we will not qualify for financial assistance.
Is there a solution to this? Besides going into debt for DD? Every time we talk about college she ends up in tears.
Please help!
4.1 GPA and SAT 1350 but she’s planning to take it again.

How much per year can you afford?
Because $25K is different than $40K. With those stats, there are many schools in the 60-120 range that could be only 35-45K with merit.
So don't rule out Private schools---many give merit to help with costs and if your kid is at/above the 75% they should get decent merit

What is desired major(s)/areas of possible interest?

My DC has higher stats than OP’s daughter and was admitted to several private schools in the 65-120 range. The merit aid offers were remarkably consistent and brought *tuition* down to the $30-40 level, but once you include living expenses, it’s more than $40. If $25 is a hard cap, private is going to be hard unless OP’s daughter improves her test scores dramatically. I’d budget $50-60 all in (travel gets more expensive the further you are from home).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We moved from Virginia to Missouri a few years ago, and now DD (current junior) is unhappy with her in state college options.
We cannot afford to pay out of state tuition. We have done some research and it looks like we will not qualify for financial assistance.
Is there a solution to this? Besides going into debt for DD? Every time we talk about college she ends up in tears.
Please help!
4.1 GPA and SAT 1350 but she’s planning to take it again.

OP - unless your DD gets a really big scholarship out of state, she may need to explore in state options or schools that offer a lot of reduced tuition to Missouri residents. My DS has similar stats, higher SAT and the best he could get was 10K/yr at University of Pittsburgh. It's still going to cost us upwards of 50K/yr when we factor in all of the costs.

Also, a lot of the schools offering the kind of scholarships that your DD would need may not provide the educational quality of Honors at Mizzou.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of these replies are pretty harsh.

It sounds like OP’d kid was uprooted from a friend group to Missouri and hasn’t found her people there. If you were a teenager, you might translate this into a general dislike for Missouri and the Midwest.

The obvious discussion with the kid is to point out that there will be lots of new kids in college wherever she goes. But maybe OP is feeling guilty for the move so doesn’t want to tell her kid she’s never getting the friend group she left behind on the East Coast back.

That’s a discussion worth having, both in general and especially if finances are an issue. People have to move for lots of reasons and OP’s kid isn’t owed an East Coast or West Coast education they can’t afford. Sure, they can explore those options, but DD has to understand they are only options if they are affordable.

Op said the kid is a junior and they moved several years ago. I'm going to assume several means two. That's enough time for the kid to adjust. It's not harsh to point out the kid's attitude and dismissal of a whole state is a problem.

Good luck op.

I grew up in the Midwest and I would dismiss all of Missouri too. Sorry. The Midwest is just not some people’s cup of tea. As for that whole “Midwest nice” thing, you can see how long that lasts from this thread of nasty responses about a child just because she doesn’t like her new state.

I wouldn't assume the responses are from Midwesterners. More people who feel kids should "put up and shut up", based on the responses. There are a lot of that kind of person. They're not adding much value to this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of these replies are pretty harsh.

It sounds like OP’d kid was uprooted from a friend group to Missouri and hasn’t found her people there. If you were a teenager, you might translate this into a general dislike for Missouri and the Midwest.

The obvious discussion with the kid is to point out that there will be lots of new kids in college wherever she goes. But maybe OP is feeling guilty for the move so doesn’t want to tell her kid she’s never getting the friend group she left behind on the East Coast back.

That’s a discussion worth having, both in general and especially if finances are an issue. People have to move for lots of reasons and OP’s kid isn’t owed an East Coast or West Coast education they can’t afford. Sure, they can explore those options, but DD has to understand they are only options if they are affordable.

Op said the kid is a junior and they moved several years ago. I'm going to assume several means two. That's enough time for the kid to adjust. It's not harsh to point out the kid's attitude and dismissal of a whole state is a problem.

Good luck op.

I grew up in the Midwest and I would dismiss all of Missouri too. Sorry. The Midwest is just not some people’s cup of tea. As for that whole “Midwest nice” thing, you can see how long that lasts from this thread of nasty responses about a child just because she doesn’t like her new state.

I wouldn't assume the responses are from Midwesterners. More people who feel kids should "put up and shut up", based on the responses. There are a lot of that kind of person. They're not adding much value to this thread.

This thread is 100% filled with people who have never been to the Midwest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of these replies are pretty harsh.

It sounds like OP’d kid was uprooted from a friend group to Missouri and hasn’t found her people there. If you were a teenager, you might translate this into a general dislike for Missouri and the Midwest.

The obvious discussion with the kid is to point out that there will be lots of new kids in college wherever she goes. But maybe OP is feeling guilty for the move so doesn’t want to tell her kid she’s never getting the friend group she left behind on the East Coast back.

That’s a discussion worth having, both in general and especially if finances are an issue. People have to move for lots of reasons and OP’s kid isn’t owed an East Coast or West Coast education they can’t afford. Sure, they can explore those options, but DD has to understand they are only options if they are affordable.

Op said the kid is a junior and they moved several years ago. I'm going to assume several means two. That's enough time for the kid to adjust. It's not harsh to point out the kid's attitude and dismissal of a whole state is a problem.

Good luck op.

I grew up in the Midwest and I would dismiss all of Missouri too. Sorry. The Midwest is just not some people’s cup of tea. As for that whole “Midwest nice” thing, you can see how long that lasts from this thread of nasty responses about a child just because she doesn’t like her new state.

I wouldn't assume the responses are from Midwesterners. More people who feel kids should "put up and shut up", based on the responses. There are a lot of that kind of person. They're not adding much value to this thread.

This thread is 100% filled with people who have never been to the Midwest.

I'm from the Midwest and take a balanced view- none of the nastier responses are from me. I also know however, that going to school in the midwest does not mean living in the Midwest for the rest of your life if it's not what you want. Good grades, internships, mentors, etc. will get you an excellent grad school option or a job somewhere else. Pick a career like nursing and you can probably get hired anywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
No need to be rude about it. Kids in different areas have different cultures. As an ex-Californian, my best friend in my new Pennsylvania middle school was another ex-Californian. We're still friends today even though she returned to California.

I came to PA from a MoCo "W school" feeder middle school that was pretty nasty. I later chose not to raise my kids in the DCUM heartland because of that. Even though I enjoyed living and working in the DMV as a young adult. I've found parents on here that say my old middle school is still nasty for the same reasons it was 40 years ago. It's validating.

I live in the Rust Belt Midwest now. My quality of life is great. But I am a bit non-Midwest for this area. I have two kids born here so I see how they indoctrinate kids firsthand.

People have different life experiences. If OP's kid wants to GTFO of Missouri, then help her.

What kind of indoctrination are you talking about?

PP. "Midwest Nice" (which is not always that nice...)

It doesn't summarize easily but I've seen a lot of stuff in the public schools that tracks with the behaviors of my local work colleagues. Stuff I never encountered in California, Maryland, or Pennsylvania.

PP who asked. Still unclear what you mean but as someone who grew up on the West Coast I felt at home more easily on the East Coast than the Midwest (have lived in both areas) so I believe there are subtle cultural differences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:See if she can get the SAT score up, get merit from a lower ranked OOS public that she likes, problem solved.

Do public schools typically give much merit aid? How can I find this information?

Some like UAlabama give a lot, and many Texas public universities give out of state waivers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think some are being unnecessarily harsh. OP’s DD doesn’t feel like she fits in as a Missourian and wants to go back to the familiar. It’s an understandable human impulse. OP, there are some LACs in PA that may give merit as well, Muhlenberg is one and you might look at Gettysburg and Ursinus, too. If she’s open to Catholic schools like St. Joe’s there are more options in PA that give merit.

Because the daughter clearly thinks she is better than everyone else in the Midwest. She spent year mocking flyover country. No slac is going to change her mind.

Karma is real.

Where did she say the daughter “spent year” mocking flyover country? Nowhere. Your Midwestern insecurity is showing.

Op says the kid is uphappy with ALL in state options and will only consider the coasts. It's pretty obvious what happened.

No need to be rude about it. Kids in different areas have different cultures. As an ex-Californian, my best friend in my new Pennsylvania middle school was another ex-Californian. We're still friends today even though she returned to California.

I came to PA from a MoCo "W school" feeder middle school that was pretty nasty. I later chose not to raise my kids in the DCUM heartland because of that. Even though I enjoyed living and working in the DMV as a young adult. I've found parents on here that say my old middle school is still nasty for the same reasons it was 40 years ago. It's validating.

I live in the Rust Belt Midwest now. My quality of life is great. But I am a bit non-Midwest for this area. I have two kids born here so I see how they indoctrinate kids firsthand.

People have different life experiences. If OP's kid wants to GTFO of Missouri, then help her.

I have two nephews in a Midwest Middle School. It's located in a town of 10,000, outside of a small city of 250,000. The boys hear all about God and Jesus and Trump in a very, very, positive light. I lived in Oklahoma, and the rural kids - mostly Natives - rolled their eyes at anything Christian or conservative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder why she prefers the coasts for college. That would be a start. The midwest is a huge place with an amazing variety of options and easily some of the most enjoyable and vibrant college towns in the country. She might not know this.

Interesting isn't it. Kid has lived there for 2 years and has nothing positive. Says a lot about her mindset.

The daughter is an immigrant to Missouri.

It’s pretty common for immigrants that go through an angry mourning phase.

[Anonymous]

With that GPA and if she gets her score up a little, she can get merit from an OOS public or from a private university that will appreciate the "geographic diversity". For example, my son received good merit at UConn that made the cost equivalent to in-state tuition. His friend is getting basically getting his full tuition paid for at Alabama (we live in NJ).

That said, I do not think Mizzou would be a bad choice. The other Missouri publics are kind of meh. My DH went to Missouri State, and he does very well (and works in NYC and is a liberal), but southwest Missouri is very conservative/bible belt and the campus is not very attractive.

Our neighbor, born and raised in Brooklyn, went to Mizzou for their excellent journalism school. Of course he didn't stay in Missouri but he's done well and loved his time there.

More recently, my niece who is not conservative at all also graduated from Mizzou's journalism school about 8 years ago and does very well working in advertising on the East Coast.

From my own experience (husband from Midwest, many in-laws still living in Midwest, parents grew up in Midwest, so I spend a lot of time there but I'm from the Northeast) personally it's not a place I would live as an adult but for college it would be fine.