Yeah but I bet they still took all the freebies and fundraisers for teacher appreciation and gifts and supplies didn’t they? |
What? Please explain what you mean by this. |
Teacher haters are so vile. |
So many of these seem silly. Some moms think they are vital and want to do them, so they do them. I am not going to opt out my kid b/c I think it's dumb; these mothers seem to find meaning in it. But I am not going to kill myself to do something unnecessary just b/c Lara's mother thinks it's important |
I suspect admin often thinks these parents need to volunteer is more about the parents than the kids' needs. In other words, they want the parents to feel involved but don't think they add enough to make it worth the extra work. |
I think that’s part of it too. But then you have other posts lamenting the lack of volunteers … |
And what I'd argue to those administrators is that they're going to lose the things they really want from parents (ex: being supportive of teachers) if they don't bring them into the community. Shooting themselves in the foot to save work today. |
This. People are acting like boundaries are selfish. It's actually selfish to martyr yourself to make yourself feel better for volunteering and having your kids in all the things and then end up exhausted, complaining, resentful, and with no energy left for your family. And, yes, having energy left for your family may necessitate making hard choices and doing things others may look down upon, but I agree with PP, modeling proactive choices is so much better than just reflexively doing what everyone thinks you "should" do. You can't do everything, or at least not well. |
I'll also add: If this is an overcorrection, so be it because having modeled that you have to do this, that, and the other thing and on and on to be a good person was not very healthy for me to watch growing up. You end up without an actual identity of your own. By the way, I do volunteer for certain things, as does my child, but in doing the amount able to (which changes depending on family circumstances) and keeping with my true boundaries, I'm doing it willingly, which I think is better for everyone. |
I don’t hate teachers. I hate people freeloading on the same populations they’re exploiting (women). It’s done at the county level if they’re accepting cash gifts for teachers from the same parents the school district refused to help. |
I think school administrations are being slow to realize the changed climate and how much resentment exists towards the schools post-COVID. |
Exactly. And there seems to be an attitude in here that some people owe it to others to put on an event because other kids “need” it. The other parents don’t have any skin in the game but are able to show up for 2 hours to have fun with their own families and for this reason, other people need to donate large amounts of their own personal time and often money to make this happen. Why exactly? I’d like to enjoy the events with my family too, but I’m often working. If another parent can show up for 2 hours then they too can help out for an hour to make it a success. Otherwise, what’s the point? Does anyone really need this fall festival, spring fling, fun fest, put on by a small amount of volunteers who feel put upon and not appreciated? Hardly anyone ever says “thanks!” There’s usually just input about how it could have been better or what was lacking. |
Based on many posts it seems like people would rather pay for enrichment than volunteer themselves. I'd argue that's incredibly sad, because it limits their circle and their kids' circles to other people who can also pay for that specific type of enrichment. It reduces the feeling of "we're community because we all live here/go to this school/are part of this local youth club" that comes from volunteer run organizations. It means fewer of the all important weak ties people need. But all everyone sees is the hour taken to put on the Fun Fest. Obviously sometimes Pinterest Parents go overboard with tiny details - my kid really doesn't care if the donut holes for the winter class party look like snowmen or not but I know the picture looked cute on your Instagram. But the broad fact of these events really is important. We have to fight against the loneliness epidemic somehow, and I'd argue these free labor driven volunteering events are one way people can do it. Meet other people you wouldn't normally hang out with, provide something for your community, get a sense of a job well done (yeah, even if the freeloading parents are annoying complainers), give your kids another chance to see that kid from class that just maybe they might be friends with. |
I'm so glad that we can pay for enrichment and for sports clubs because our local non-profit league is almost hilariously cliquish |
Because that's how they make it fun. Also because they have been doing this for a while and have developed a decided non-trust in humanity thanks to all the things they've seen pulled. Does it justify the behavior? Probably not, but it does explain it. Running a local non-profit league is one of the most thankless tasks in the universe. Larla needs to be with 3 best friends. Friend 1 can only practice Monday, friend 2 can only practice Tuesday, and friend 3 can practice any day but has specifically requested to never been on a team with Larla again. Larla herself can only practice on Thursday and she wants Coach A whose practice night is Wednesday. Dad never responds when you ask which of the special requests you should accommodate, but the minute you release teams Dad sends a ragey email to the league president wondering why you couldn't read his mind and put Larla on that other team. Multiply that by at least 5 for each age division. Then add in the people demanding a late add because they can't get their act together, the coaches who act like total jerks to volunteer referees (see the whole losing trust in humanity above) or parents, dealing with a recalcitrant county that wants to demand you do their job for them on maintaining facilities, and so much more. People who run non-profit leagues have the most thankless job in the world - yes, even worse than teachers. Nobody has "Thank Your Local Rec League Board Member" week. |