Did Covid disrupt the parent volunteer pipeline

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Covid exposed even more inequity but also slowed it all down and allowed people to focus inward and not on their community. I see this in the PTA. We have 40-50 parents who volunteer out of a school of 400 families and most of these parents can just put their kid into a paid activity or go to a fun paid festival on weekends instead of setting up for a festival on school grounds. Free to all students and benefitting all the families that cant volunteer or financially contribute due to multiple jobs, many kids etc. We are all burned out now but not many new families are stepping up.

Can you really blame those people for not wanting to burn themselves out for others who can’t or won’t pitch but want to enjoy the fruits of someone else’s labor? People felt taken advantage of in these largely thankless roles. There wasn’t much upside for people who would like to enjoy their weekends with their families too.

And I'd add, unoften unnecessary roles too that feel made up at times. if a volunteer wants to tell the community that we "need" to have this fesitval and is going to run it, that's fine, but don't asume we all agree with "need"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the student participant numbers down too or just the parent volunteer numbers? Some families may have decided that life was more enjoyable when their kids weren't overbooked with activities. But, that would mean both parent and student numbers would be down.

I do think in some areas people are fleeing to more expensive pay-to-participate opportunties (ex: club sports over rec, classes at studios or gyms over other kinds of activities). But not everything.

Lots of people tried club sports when other local options shut down. Travel basketball was the first activity that my kids had to return. Practices were outdoors and games were non-existant, but the club was doing everything the could to get the kids doing something

+1

Club sports returned ( in some capacity ) much much sooner than schools, rec leagues and rec activities etc. 2 of my 3 kids moved to club sports during COVID and never returned to community rec. Many people moved to these private activities and never returned.

100% this except with schools. We switched to private which did everything in its power to get kids back as soon as possible. There is no lack of volunteers for any event-even at the HS level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The next generation of parents are extremely self-centered and all about their own “wellness” and “family time” — hoping they figure this out fast because they are harming their communities, which they also somehow miss.

Aimed at women most likely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Covid exposed even more inequity but also slowed it all down and allowed people to focus inward and not on their community. I see this in the PTA. We have 40-50 parents who volunteer out of a school of 400 families and most of these parents can just put their kid into a paid activity or go to a fun paid festival on weekends instead of setting up for a festival on school grounds. Free to all students and benefitting all the families that cant volunteer or financially contribute due to multiple jobs, many kids etc. We are all burned out now but not many new families are stepping up.

Can you really blame those people for not wanting to burn themselves out for others who can’t or won’t pitch but want to enjoy the fruits of someone else’s labor? People felt taken advantage of in these largely thankless roles. There wasn’t much upside for people who would like to enjoy their weekends with their families too.

Based on what I've heard/seen in multiple volunteer run organizations, the upside is when your friends volunteer with you. Then you're hanging out with your friends (and your kids are likely in a pack hanging out also with their friends) and it works. But on the flip side, you may be less likely to invite in other volunteers and people accuse your PTA/leadership team of being cliquey and not friendly so you get fewer volunteers. Catch-22.

This is exactly what I found! Same with helping with class parties.

I largely think most PTA activities are unnecessary and don't add that much to the school experience.

As someone in a non-PTA organization that decided a bunch of fun but not strictly necessary activities should be removed, I'm going to disagree. 4 years ago or so we took out the for-fun-but-not-required things for our families. Yeah, during Covid. Those things were deemed too much work for the reward. Funnily enough, now that those community building things are gone, people seem a lot less loyal to the organization than they used to be. While it's not the only factor, I do think all these little things that are so much of a pain but bring people onto school or together in organizations also bring in (just a few) more volunteers, make people more likely to stick with an organization, build friendships, and make people feel more welcome.

I really hate how because of Covid we made kids' live smaller and worse with fewer opportunities. I know it's a big pain - I'm a big volunteer and I've been the one having to do the grunt work. Maybe it's true that the results aren't worth it. But dang it feels sad.

I don’t think the bolded is true. Most kids I know get tons of enrichment and opportunity and are living in big— even global big— worlds. My daughter has travelled internationally a ton, as have our close friends with kids her age, because the resources we would use for volunteering are being redirected toward our family.

I can put five hours of planning into getting her age appropriate activities in Europe this fall or I can put the same five hours into being told that the best use of my time is making sure the teachers get breakfast served to them, and gift cards, during teacher appreciation week. Which five hours provides more experience for my kid?

This is the attitude we have everywhere. Its not just about your kid!

First quoted PP here, and THIS! If nobody cares about the neighborhood Halloween parade (or whatever) any more, your kid is fine, but some kid out there is missing out. Teacher Appreciation Week is whatever, but it's the volunteering for the fun fairs and the neighborhood bike parades and the VBSes that someone mentioned upthread I'm talking about.

Even if your kid is now traveling to Europe instead of biking to the pool on the 4th of July, they are missing out on the chance to connect with someone in the neighborhood they might not have. The most meaningful relationships are local not global, so I'd argue they truly are missing something important there. You are welcome to disagree.

Why is it one person’s job to enrich someone else’s kid? Where are their parents? If this is so important to them they can also find a little extra time or money to put into it instead of just taking. Everyone’s time is precious, not just the takers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:90% of the child-related volunteer mental/emotional/physical labor is done by moms and the newer generation of moms are not into doing free labor that is being taken for granted and baked in to the school budgets. They no longer need or want that validation.

This is utterly false. 100% of the volunteer coaches for boys sports in my town are men. The vast majority of coaches in girl sports are men. At games and youth tournaments it is relatively rare to see a female coach. Nearly all of the referees in all the sports I am aware of are male. I have never seen a female youth football coach. All of the dads I know are more involved with their kids athletic activities than the moms are.

I think the statement you are making says more about your husband and your marriage than it does about our area.

to the previous poster, You actually proved her point.

Plus, athletics involves much more unseen labor than just coaching.

+1 to that.

Though I think the idea that doing free labor is somehow less than paid labor is terrible. Yes, both genders should be willing to do it, but there's value in the gift economy and not just for stuff and not just for the receiver.

Maybe Covid accelerated the volunteering crisis, but the idea that people shouldn't ever do any labor for free started it.

There is when it’s a gift. Not when it’s an obligation, and not when those “gifts” are taken for granted by schools to reduce their own responsibilities. What COVID revealed was that schools didn’t feel any reciprocal responsibility.

That wouldn't explain why extracurriculars and non-school activities are feeling the pinch of lack of volunteers.

I think the organizations which took women’s labor for granted are the ones feeling the pinch. Our swim team has a ton of volunteers— they recognize and reward those volunteers.

Our swim team berates people over the head into volunteering and then takes all volunteers except the "cool" ones for granted. It's why I'm making my kids quit, even though swim is good for them. It's such a miserable experience unless you are on the in crowd.

That is a really disappointing statement from a parent. You are going to withdraw your children from an activity because it’s too much trouble for you? Save some money for their therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:90% of the child-related volunteer mental/emotional/physical labor is done by moms and the newer generation of moms are not into doing free labor that is being taken for granted and baked in to the school budgets. They no longer need or want that validation.

This is utterly false. 100% of the volunteer coaches for boys sports in my town are men. The vast majority of coaches in girl sports are men. At games and youth tournaments it is relatively rare to see a female coach. Nearly all of the referees in all the sports I am aware of are male. I have never seen a female youth football coach. All of the dads I know are more involved with their kids athletic activities than the moms are.

I think the statement you are making says more about your husband and your marriage than it does about our area.

to the previous poster, You actually proved her point.

Plus, athletics involves much more unseen labor than just coaching.

+1 to that.

Though I think the idea that doing free labor is somehow less than paid labor is terrible. Yes, both genders should be willing to do it, but there's value in the gift economy and not just for stuff and not just for the receiver.

Maybe Covid accelerated the volunteering crisis, but the idea that people shouldn't ever do any labor for free started it.

There is when it’s a gift. Not when it’s an obligation, and not when those “gifts” are taken for granted by schools to reduce their own responsibilities. What COVID revealed was that schools didn’t feel any reciprocal responsibility.

That wouldn't explain why extracurriculars and non-school activities are feeling the pinch of lack of volunteers.

I think the organizations which took women’s labor for granted are the ones feeling the pinch. Our swim team has a ton of volunteers— they recognize and reward those volunteers.

Our swim team berates people over the head into volunteering and then takes all volunteers except the "cool" ones for granted. It's why I'm making my kids quit, even though swim is good for them. It's such a miserable experience unless you are on the in crowd.

That is a really disappointing statement from a parent. You are going to withdraw your children from an activity because it’s too much trouble for you? Save some money for their therapy.

Seems pretty logical to take your kids out of something that’s too much trouble. Why martyr yourself to one activity? What is the point?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:90% of the child-related volunteer mental/emotional/physical labor is done by moms and the newer generation of moms are not into doing free labor that is being taken for granted and baked in to the school budgets. They no longer need or want that validation.

This is utterly false. 100% of the volunteer coaches for boys sports in my town are men. The vast majority of coaches in girl sports are men. At games and youth tournaments it is relatively rare to see a female coach. Nearly all of the referees in all the sports I am aware of are male. I have never seen a female youth football coach. All of the dads I know are more involved with their kids athletic activities than the moms are.

I think the statement you are making says more about your husband and your marriage than it does about our area.

to the previous poster, You actually proved her point.

Plus, athletics involves much more unseen labor than just coaching.

+1 to that.

Though I think the idea that doing free labor is somehow less than paid labor is terrible. Yes, both genders should be willing to do it, but there's value in the gift economy and not just for stuff and not just for the receiver.

Maybe Covid accelerated the volunteering crisis, but the idea that people shouldn't ever do any labor for free started it.

There is when it’s a gift. Not when it’s an obligation, and not when those “gifts” are taken for granted by schools to reduce their own responsibilities. What COVID revealed was that schools didn’t feel any reciprocal responsibility.

That wouldn't explain why extracurriculars and non-school activities are feeling the pinch of lack of volunteers.

I think the organizations which took women’s labor for granted are the ones feeling the pinch. Our swim team has a ton of volunteers— they recognize and reward those volunteers.

Our swim team berates people over the head into volunteering and then takes all volunteers except the "cool" ones for granted. It's why I'm making my kids quit, even though swim is good for them. It's such a miserable experience unless you are on the in crowd.

That is a really disappointing statement from a parent. You are going to withdraw your children from an activity because it’s too much trouble for you? Save some money for their therapy.

Yes, on top of the other activities that they do this one that requires more from me than the one where I am literally on the board of directors is too much. In our family the kids do have to pick and chose. If they wanted to drop the one where I'm on the board I'd quit the board and we could find a way to focus on swim (perhaps without the team where they make parents' lives miserable since there are other teams), but they don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:90% of the child-related volunteer mental/emotional/physical labor is done by moms and the newer generation of moms are not into doing free labor that is being taken for granted and baked in to the school budgets. They no longer need or want that validation.

This is utterly false. 100% of the volunteer coaches for boys sports in my town are men. The vast majority of coaches in girl sports are men. At games and youth tournaments it is relatively rare to see a female coach. Nearly all of the referees in all the sports I am aware of are male. I have never seen a female youth football coach. All of the dads I know are more involved with their kids athletic activities than the moms are.

I think the statement you are making says more about your husband and your marriage than it does about our area.

to the previous poster, You actually proved her point.

Plus, athletics involves much more unseen labor than just coaching.

+1 to that.

Though I think the idea that doing free labor is somehow less than paid labor is terrible. Yes, both genders should be willing to do it, but there's value in the gift economy and not just for stuff and not just for the receiver.

Maybe Covid accelerated the volunteering crisis, but the idea that people shouldn't ever do any labor for free started it.

There is when it’s a gift. Not when it’s an obligation, and not when those “gifts” are taken for granted by schools to reduce their own responsibilities. What COVID revealed was that schools didn’t feel any reciprocal responsibility.

That wouldn't explain why extracurriculars and non-school activities are feeling the pinch of lack of volunteers.

I think the organizations which took women’s labor for granted are the ones feeling the pinch. Our swim team has a ton of volunteers— they recognize and reward those volunteers.

Our swim team berates people over the head into volunteering and then takes all volunteers except the "cool" ones for granted. It's why I'm making my kids quit, even though swim is good for them. It's such a miserable experience unless you are on the in crowd.

That is a really disappointing statement from a parent. You are going to withdraw your children from an activity because it’s too much trouble for you? Save some money for their therapy.

It’s interesting I was having the exact opposite reaction— this is a parent who is modeling healthy boundaries for her kids early, and they’ll have better mental health outcomes than their peers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Covid exposed even more inequity but also slowed it all down and allowed people to focus inward and not on their community. I see this in the PTA. We have 40-50 parents who volunteer out of a school of 400 families and most of these parents can just put their kid into a paid activity or go to a fun paid festival on weekends instead of setting up for a festival on school grounds. Free to all students and benefitting all the families that cant volunteer or financially contribute due to multiple jobs, many kids etc. We are all burned out now but not many new families are stepping up.

Can you really blame those people for not wanting to burn themselves out for others who can’t or won’t pitch but want to enjoy the fruits of someone else’s labor? People felt taken advantage of in these largely thankless roles. There wasn’t much upside for people who would like to enjoy their weekends with their families too.

Based on what I've heard/seen in multiple volunteer run organizations, the upside is when your friends volunteer with you. Then you're hanging out with your friends (and your kids are likely in a pack hanging out also with their friends) and it works. But on the flip side, you may be less likely to invite in other volunteers and people accuse your PTA/leadership team of being cliquey and not friendly so you get fewer volunteers. Catch-22.

This is exactly what I found! Same with helping with class parties.

I largely think most PTA activities are unnecessary and don't add that much to the school experience.

As someone in a non-PTA organization that decided a bunch of fun but not strictly necessary activities should be removed, I'm going to disagree. 4 years ago or so we took out the for-fun-but-not-required things for our families. Yeah, during Covid. Those things were deemed too much work for the reward. Funnily enough, now that those community building things are gone, people seem a lot less loyal to the organization than they used to be. While it's not the only factor, I do think all these little things that are so much of a pain but bring people onto school or together in organizations also bring in (just a few) more volunteers, make people more likely to stick with an organization, build friendships, and make people feel more welcome.

I really hate how because of Covid we made kids' live smaller and worse with fewer opportunities. I know it's a big pain - I'm a big volunteer and I've been the one having to do the grunt work. Maybe it's true that the results aren't worth it. But dang it feels sad.

I don’t think the bolded is true. Most kids I know get tons of enrichment and opportunity and are living in big— even global big— worlds. My daughter has travelled internationally a ton, as have our close friends with kids her age, because the resources we would use for volunteering are being redirected toward our family.

I can put five hours of planning into getting her age appropriate activities in Europe this fall or I can put the same five hours into being told that the best use of my time is making sure the teachers get breakfast served to them, and gift cards, during teacher appreciation week. Which five hours provides more experience for my kid?

This is the attitude we have everywhere. Its not just about your kid!

With due respect. Yes, it is.

Here’s the lesson of COVID: no one cares about your kid other than you. No one cares about your family, or your resources other than you.

School’s want to take and take and take. Volunteer hours. Money. “Support”. But when it’s time for them to give? You’re a monster for asking how your kids IEP will be met without OT and don’t you know school isn’t daycare?!? No one— No one— cared about those kids. No one cares about the hundreds of thousands of women who were forced out of the workforce whose earnings may never recover.

But now? They are coming for those same women’s time and those same women’s money and we’re all supposed to forget they absolutely abandoned those women, and their children, already once before.

[Anonymous]

PP and because most of the volunteer activities are overly-planned and too complicated.

Class parties with multiple parent volunteers to oversee an array of changing activities with stations. Teacher Appreciation Week with subcommittees: Door Decorating! Gift Card Collection! Teacher Lunch Potluck from Parents! Teacher Lunch Cateted by Chik Fil A!
6th Grade Grad Party: Decorations/Dance Decorations/Cafeteria. We Still Need Quiet Game Room Volunteers! Anyone have DJ Equipment? Attention Parents of Juniorslease Help with the All Night Grad Party to see how we do this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Covid exposed even more inequity but also slowed it all down and allowed people to focus inward and not on their community. I see this in the PTA. We have 40-50 parents who volunteer out of a school of 400 families and most of these parents can just put their kid into a paid activity or go to a fun paid festival on weekends instead of setting up for a festival on school grounds. Free to all students and benefitting all the families that cant volunteer or financially contribute due to multiple jobs, many kids etc. We are all burned out now but not many new families are stepping up.

Can you really blame those people for not wanting to burn themselves out for others who can’t or won’t pitch but want to enjoy the fruits of someone else’s labor? People felt taken advantage of in these largely thankless roles. There wasn’t much upside for people who would like to enjoy their weekends with their families too.

Based on what I've heard/seen in multiple volunteer run organizations, the upside is when your friends volunteer with you. Then you're hanging out with your friends (and your kids are likely in a pack hanging out also with their friends) and it works. But on the flip side, you may be less likely to invite in other volunteers and people accuse your PTA/leadership team of being cliquey and not friendly so you get fewer volunteers. Catch-22.

This is exactly what I found! Same with helping with class parties.

I largely think most PTA activities are unnecessary and don't add that much to the school experience.

As someone in a non-PTA organization that decided a bunch of fun but not strictly necessary activities should be removed, I'm going to disagree. 4 years ago or so we took out the for-fun-but-not-required things for our families. Yeah, during Covid. Those things were deemed too much work for the reward. Funnily enough, now that those community building things are gone, people seem a lot less loyal to the organization than they used to be. While it's not the only factor, I do think all these little things that are so much of a pain but bring people onto school or together in organizations also bring in (just a few) more volunteers, make people more likely to stick with an organization, build friendships, and make people feel more welcome.

I really hate how because of Covid we made kids' live smaller and worse with fewer opportunities. I know it's a big pain - I'm a big volunteer and I've been the one having to do the grunt work. Maybe it's true that the results aren't worth it. But dang it feels sad.

I don’t think the bolded is true. Most kids I know get tons of enrichment and opportunity and are living in big— even global big— worlds. My daughter has travelled internationally a ton, as have our close friends with kids her age, because the resources we would use for volunteering are being redirected toward our family.

I can put five hours of planning into getting her age appropriate activities in Europe this fall or I can put the same five hours into being told that the best use of my time is making sure the teachers get breakfast served to them, and gift cards, during teacher appreciation week. Which five hours provides more experience for my kid?

This is the attitude we have everywhere. Its not just about your kid!

With due respect. Yes, it is.

Here’s the lesson of COVID: no one cares about your kid other than you. No one cares about your family, or your resources other than you.

School’s want to take and take and take. Volunteer hours. Money. “Support”. But when it’s time for them to give? You’re a monster for asking how your kids IEP will be met without OT and don’t you know school isn’t daycare?!? No one— No one— cared about those kids. No one cares about the hundreds of thousands of women who were forced out of the workforce whose earnings may never recover.

But now? They are coming for those same women’s time and those same women’s money and we’re all supposed to forget they absolutely abandoned those women, and their children, already once before.

See it's funny, I took away a similar lesson but different.

Paid organizations don't care, so people have to look out for each other. Unlike some PPs up-thread, our volunteer-run and not-for-profit stuff did the absolute max during Covid while the government run or paid organizations did not. So we still give our time to the volunteer-run stuff. And yes there are takers, and yes they are annoying, but my kids benefit from the takers kids being there. So we keep doing it.

[Anonymous]

I think COVID plays a huge part, but mostly because so many people work from home or hybrid and somehow that's made us stretch even thinner. We didn't use to log back in at 8pm to do some work!
Also the break of traditions. Some things were lost and when you don't see them, you really don't get it and so volunteers don't sign up.
And phones. Everyone is too addicted and has less time for volunteering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Covid exposed even more inequity but also slowed it all down and allowed people to focus inward and not on their community. I see this in the PTA. We have 40-50 parents who volunteer out of a school of 400 families and most of these parents can just put their kid into a paid activity or go to a fun paid festival on weekends instead of setting up for a festival on school grounds. Free to all students and benefitting all the families that cant volunteer or financially contribute due to multiple jobs, many kids etc. We are all burned out now but not many new families are stepping up.

Can you really blame those people for not wanting to burn themselves out for others who can’t or won’t pitch but want to enjoy the fruits of someone else’s labor? People felt taken advantage of in these largely thankless roles. There wasn’t much upside for people who would like to enjoy their weekends with their families too.

Based on what I've heard/seen in multiple volunteer run organizations, the upside is when your friends volunteer with you. Then you're hanging out with your friends (and your kids are likely in a pack hanging out also with their friends) and it works. But on the flip side, you may be less likely to invite in other volunteers and people accuse your PTA/leadership team of being cliquey and not friendly so you get fewer volunteers. Catch-22.

This is exactly what I found! Same with helping with class parties.

I largely think most PTA activities are unnecessary and don't add that much to the school experience.

As someone in a non-PTA organization that decided a bunch of fun but not strictly necessary activities should be removed, I'm going to disagree. 4 years ago or so we took out the for-fun-but-not-required things for our families. Yeah, during Covid. Those things were deemed too much work for the reward. Funnily enough, now that those community building things are gone, people seem a lot less loyal to the organization than they used to be. While it's not the only factor, I do think all these little things that are so much of a pain but bring people onto school or together in organizations also bring in (just a few) more volunteers, make people more likely to stick with an organization, build friendships, and make people feel more welcome.

I really hate how because of Covid we made kids' live smaller and worse with fewer opportunities. I know it's a big pain - I'm a big volunteer and I've been the one having to do the grunt work. Maybe it's true that the results aren't worth it. But dang it feels sad.

I don’t think the bolded is true. Most kids I know get tons of enrichment and opportunity and are living in big— even global big— worlds. My daughter has travelled internationally a ton, as have our close friends with kids her age, because the resources we would use for volunteering are being redirected toward our family.

I can put five hours of planning into getting her age appropriate activities in Europe this fall or I can put the same five hours into being told that the best use of my time is making sure the teachers get breakfast served to them, and gift cards, during teacher appreciation week. Which five hours provides more experience for my kid?

This is the attitude we have everywhere. Its not just about your kid!

With due respect. Yes, it is.

Here’s the lesson of COVID: no one cares about your kid other than you. No one cares about your family, or your resources other than you.

School’s want to take and take and take. Volunteer hours. Money. “Support”. But when it’s time for them to give? You’re a monster for asking how your kids IEP will be met without OT and don’t you know school isn’t daycare?!? No one— No one— cared about those kids. No one cares about the hundreds of thousands of women who were forced out of the workforce whose earnings may never recover.

But now? They are coming for those same women’s time and those same women’s money and we’re all supposed to forget they absolutely abandoned those women, and their children, already once before.

See it's funny, I took away a similar lesson but different.

Paid organizations don't care, so people have to look out for each other. Unlike some PPs up-thread, our volunteer-run and not-for-profit stuff did the absolute max during Covid while the government run or paid organizations did not. So we still give our time to the volunteer-run stuff. And yes there are takers, and yes they are annoying, but my kids benefit from the takers kids being there. So we keep doing it.

I agree with you I think I just define the people we have to look out for more narrowly.

The mom who couldn’t get OT for her early-intervention toddler and the mom who was scolded for treating her school “like daycare” because her sons IEP specified reading intervention that he wasn’t getting, are in my village. I make dinner for one of them when she has late appointments and plan trips with both of them to farms and festivals and live music events our kids love.

I do not need to sit on a subcommittee, as correctly identified above, to decorate the door of a teacher who couldn’t be bothered to meet the needs of a struggling student in COVID, or validate his parents distress. I don’t need to get her a gift card and I don’t care if chik-fil-a never gives her a sandwich. My time is better spent getting that little boy into a Kennedy Center event with his favorite author or arranging his first trip out of the country—- and no, that’s not my kid, but he’s someone I think have to look out for.

If you have the resources and the interest in looking out for even more kids that’s great. But my lesson is to think smaller and invest where the investments pay off— I’m a swim team volunteer and we’re treated super well and our work is consequential, and the minute we were treated badly or taken for granted I would stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The next generation of parents are extremely self-centered and all about their own “wellness” and “family time” — hoping they figure this out fast because they are harming their communities, which they also somehow miss.

Aimed at women most likely.

PP here - where I really see this is when the father is taking on more childcare responsibilities.

[Anonymous]

I’ve noticed with the schools, in particular, they have been very reluctant to allow parents/volunteers back in the buildings. Maybe they got used to just doing it all themselves, maybe they cut way back on programs and don’t need as many parent volunteers other than for the 1-2 field trips a year, maybe they’re holding on to old COVID protocols. Maybe a combination of all of these and more. But it’s only been this school year so far that our PTA has even asked for room parents for all the grades, and that they’ve planned a full slate of activities. Last year they had activities (both paid after school and free or cheap, like a Trunk or Treat and a Bingo night), but the teachers and the PTA had nothing for classroom volunteers. Again, apart from field trip chaperones. People get out of the practice of giving their time and then they don’t want to do it. Or the schools and organizations make them feel unwelcomed. We have a PTA clique for sure and they are actually all pretty nice, but they’re very used to working together with just the same 6-8 moms and there’s not a lot of use for “outsiders” and occasional volunteers.